Work Text:
Scooter raced into work, panting. He’d stayed up until five in the morning the night before, and he’d slept through his alarm clock. He’d gotten ready in record time, though, and he’d managed to make it in only—he glanced at the clock—two minutes late. He sighed, heading to his desk and booting up his laptop. The day was not going well.
As he typed in his password, he heard an embarrassingly loud growl from his stomach. He’d been in such a rush that he’d skipped breakfast, and he was starving. He frowned. He’d get a bit of work done, and then he’d stop by the cafeteria and have a (very) early lunch.
He gasped. He couldn’t do that—the cafeteria staff was on holiday. He’d sent out so many emails to everyone reminding them to bring their lunches from home on the fourteenth, and his cheeks flushed with the knowledge that somehow he’d managed to forget all about it. He sighed. Maybe someone would be kind enough to share their lunch with him.
He reached out into his backpack for a pen. He frowned. Something he couldn’t quite place was in there. It felt sort of like a lumpy plastic bag. He pulled it out, squinting at it.
It was a full-size package of conversation hearts. His heart soared as he took in the pastel chalky candies. At least he had something to tide him over until lunch.
A sticky note was attached to the front, with a message written in neat, loopy cursive.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my favorite boy! Love, Mom ❤
He smiled softly. His mom always knew just how to make him feel better.
His stomach growled again. He sighed, attempting to tear the package open. No matter how hard he tried, though, the conversation hearts remained in their plastic prison. He growled, glaring at the saccharine hearts with cheerful messages. Maybe if he used his teeth…
He grabbed one corner of the package and stuck it in his mouth. With the added leverage, he’d surely be able to rip the plastic and reach the hearts within. A bead of sweat dripped down his brow. He almost had it—
“Hey, Scooter?”
He dropped the package, eyes widening as he turned around. “W-Walter! What’s up?”
Walter beamed at him, running a hand through his hair. His eyes were so pretty. “I—I just wanted to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day!”
“Oh, you did? That’s very thoughtful of you! Thank you!”
“What were you doing when I came over?” Walter asked.
“O-oh, nothing.” He rubbed his neck, attempting to hide the package in his lap. There were teeth marks in it now, and he didn’t know how he could explain those…
“Really?” Walter frowned. He couldn’t say no to that face…
He broke, sheepishly holding up the package. “W-well, I was just… trying to get into this package of—”
“—Conversation hearts?” Walter’s eyes lit up. “Oh, I love those! Are you gonna share them?”
His stomach growled, but his heartbeat drowned it out. “Y-yeah, of course.”
“Really?” Walter grinned at him. “Oh, conversation hearts are the best! They taste so good, and they have cute little messages on them…”
“Mm-hmm,” he said. He made another attempt to open the package—with his hands this time, because Walter was watching. It refused to budge.
“Oh, here, lemme help you.” Walter took the package out of his hands, thankfully not commenting on how it was slightly damp with saliva. With one gentle pull, he managed to open the package just enough to get the hearts out.
Scooter’s jaw dropped. “Wow—thanks so much, Walter! You’re a lifesaver! I don’t know what I’d do without you!”
Walter giggled. “Probably keep trying to bite it open.”
His cheeks burned. “W-well, yeah, but…” He grabbed a heart, looking at the message printed on it. Digital red letters spelled out BFF. He stuffed it in his mouth before he could say something stupid again.
An explosion of chalky cherry hit his tongue. Maybe it was just because he hadn’t had food in hours, or maybe it was because Walter was grinning at him with those pretty eyes, but the candy heart was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
“Good, huh?” Walter asked, resting his head on his hand.
“Yeah, they’re great!” He grinned, picking out another one. The tiny letters read LAUGH. He was starting to sense a pattern here Cheerful friendship messages, perfect for sharing on a Valentine’s Day. The candy was addicting, too.
He picked out four more, reading BESTIE, HUGS, 4EVER, and LOL, respectively. All four went straight into his mouth. He’d tried out all of the colors by that point. The pink ones were his favorite by far. That artificial cherry was delicious.
He hunted through the bag and pulled out a pink one. “Here,” he said, handing it over. “It’s how I feel about you.”
Walter beamed at him. “Thanks so much.”
Scooter looked away, cheeks heating up. “Y-you’re welcome.” It was just a candy heart, yet it felt like so much more. His smile was so pretty, too.
Walter glanced at the message. His eyes bulged. He went into a coughing fit, nearly dropping the heart in the process.
Scooter tilted his head. Had he done something wrong?
“S-Scooter…” Walter wheezed, cheeks beet red. “You—you think I’m hot?”
“Yes—wait. No! No, no, no!” His heart raced as he realized what he’d just admitted. He couldn’t say it, not to him… He chuckled nervously, attempting a smooth recovery. “N-no. I… Where on earth did you get that idea from?”
Walter took a deep breath, eyes still wide as saucers. He passed the heart back over.
Scooter gasped. The printed letters read HOT STUFF. “Oh! No! No, I—believe me, that was not the message I wanted to send—”
“G-good,” Walter said weakly.
“I—all the ones I found, they were all friendly, I just assumed—”
Walter smiled. “Y-yeah, that’s the thing with conversation hearts, isn’t it? Some of them are friendly, some of them are r-romantic, and you never get the one you’re hoping for when it counts.”
“Y-yeah.” Scooter’s heart slowed to its normal pace. He grinned, cheeks pink. At least Walter understood. It was an honest mistake; he didn’t really think Walter was hot (even though he absolutely did, but he wouldn’t be admitting that anytime soon).
“Here.” He reached in the bag again, grabbing another heart. He handed it over, taking a deep breath. He couldn’t get an inappropriate one twice in a row, could he?
Walter read it, eyes widening again. His cheeks darkened. His eyes fluttered closed as he took in a shaky breath. “Scooter.”
He gulped. Maybe he could. “What?”
Walter handed the conversation heart back. He read it, a chill going down his spine. I WANT YOU.
“No, I—I’m so sorry—” His head felt fuzzy.
“It’s—it’s okay.”
He shakily placed the heart down on his desk next to the other one. It formed a sentence. I WANT YOU, HOT STUFF. He could nearly picture him saying the words to Walter, or even worse, Walter saying the words to him—nope, no way. He wasn’t going to think about that.
“Let—let me at least get you another one,” he said. “I feel so bad—you just wanted a friendly heart and all you’re getting are these—”
Walter let out a strangled-sounding laugh. “I—I get it, really. It’s fine.” His cheeks told a different story.
Scooter pulled out another heart. He looked it over carefully before handing it over. “Hmm. There isn’t a message on this one.”
“That’s weird—” Walter flipped it over, letting out a yelp. His blush spread down to his neck. Oh, no. “Scooter, they’re—they’re only printed on one side—”
He felt like he was exploding. This was going horribly. “What—what’s it say?”
Walter swallowed, dropping the heart back in his hand. Scooter’s face grew hotter. THIRSTY, it read. He was, but—“Oh, cheese and crackers. Walter, I—”
Walter closed his eyes. He looked like he was ready to pass out. His face was so red. Scooter licked his lips, blood rushing in his ears.
He frantically poured four more into his hand. There had to be more friendly ones in there somewhere, right? LET’S GET BUSY—“No.” TASTY—“Good golly, no.” DTF—“No—wait, they give these to kids?”
He turned over the last one. “Ah!” He handed it over, smiling. “Here.”
“O-oh, thank you!” Walter took it, offering a wavery smile. He read the message on it, then squeaked. “Scooter—PLAY TIME?”
“Yeah! I like hanging out with you, playing video games…”
“I—I don’t think that’s—that’s the kind of play they’re talking about—”
“What do you—oh.” His face burst into flames “NO! No, no, I—” How could his luck be this bad?
Walter sighed. His face was still red as a stop sign. “I—It’s okay. You—you don’t have to keep looking. I don’t think I want conversation hearts, anymore—” He looked down. Scooter followed his gaze over to the desk, where the other conversation hearts lay. I WANT YOU. He shivered, stopping that train of thought before he got carried away.
Of course, right then, Kermit had to walk over. “Hey, Scooter, Walter. What’s up?”
“N-nothing—”
“Ooh, conversation hearts! Mind if I steal one?”
“No!” they shouted in unison.
“Great!” He plucked one out of the bag. His lips twitched as he read the message. He popped it in his mouth without a word.
“W-what’d it say?” he asked, pulse spiking.
“Hmm? Oh. SMILE.”
“Smile.” His shoulders slumped. He would have died if Kermit had gotten THIRSTY or something.
“Why?”
“J-just curious,” Walter mumbled. He looked away, licking his lips.
Kermit’s eyes narrowed at the two of them. “Okay… Scooter, you got those waivers squared away, right?”
He felt lightheaded. “Y-yeah. I’ll… get right on it.”
“Great. I’ll need them by lunch.”
“You got it.”
Kermit walked off, humming to himself.
Walter played with the hem of his sweater. “I—I’m so sorry for distracting you—I’ll go now.”
“No! It’s—it’s not your fault…” A thought sparked in the back of his mind. “Hey—maybe if you picked one out, it wouldn’t be as…”
“Really?” Walter’s brow wrinkled. “You really think that would make a difference?”
“It—it might.” He was having a terrible day, but maybe Walter was feeling luckier. “I feel so bad. They’re your favorite, and I can’t manage to pull out a friendly one—”
“Okay… I’ll give it a shot.”
Scooter held the bag out, not daring to breathe. This one couldn’t be offensive, it just couldn’t.
Walter took a deep breath and pulled a heart out. He looked at it, read the message, and dropped it like it had burned him. It skittered onto the desk. Scooter took a peek and nearly passed out. The bright red letters read LET’S MAKE OUT.
“It’s—it’s even worse,” Walter choked out. “How—?”
“I—I don’t know!”
Walter pulled out more, dropping them on the desk as he read them. PIN ME. KISS ME HARD. UR SO HOT. NEED U NOW. Scooter’s face grew hotter and hotter with each one.
He pulled out another one. His face cleared. “Oh, actually, this one isn’t too bad.”
“Really? What’s it say?” Scooter leaned in. It was fine! They’d broken their bad streak!
Walter handed it to him, grinning. “For you.”
“Thanks, I—” His eyes bulged. The heart said BOOM. “Oh—oh no no no no—”
“What’s wrong with it?” Walter tilted his head. “It doesn’t have any… weird connotations, I don’t think…”
“Yeah, for you it doesn’t…” He felt dizzy. He sucked in a breath. He wasn’t going to boom. It was Walter, for heaven’s sake. But those four red letters were taunting him… He set it face-down on the table, squeezing his eyes shut. This couldn’t just be a coincidence. There had to be some sort of higher power influencing things.
“Hey—hey Rizzo! Do you—do you want a conversation heart?” Walter asked.
“Ooh, candy? Don’t mind if I do!” The bag rustled.
“What’s it say?” Walter asked.
“HOLD MY HAND. Cute.” Rizzo looked at the two of them, then burst out laughing. “Wait, are you getting all worked up over candy hearts? Those things are, like, the most kid-friendly things in existence!”
“N-not the ones we’ve been getting,” Walter said. Scooter fixed his gaze on the floor, nodding minutely.
“Oh, you two are too much.” Rizzo walked off, still laughing to himself.
Scooter threw his hands up in the air. It was clear that some forces were against him and Walter sharing a friendly candy message with each other. He glanced at his desk. Fourteen hearts, pink and green and every color in between, displayed messages that were completely inappropriate to give to your coworker. The universe was sending him some sort of message.
“I give up.”
“Y-yeah,” Walter mumbled. His blush had faded to a dusty pink. He rubbed the back of his neck, licking his lips. “They—they don’t mean anything, I know. You don’t mean them. You just see me as a friend—”
Scooter chuckled. “Y’know what the worst part is? I don’t.”
“What?”
He sighed. Something was clearly pushing him to confess. “Walter, I—I like you, a lot. And I think you’re really—well, you’re really…cute. Your eyes are so pretty, and your laugh—I wanna listen to it forever. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way, but…”
He reached in the bag one last time. Somehow, he had a feeling that this heart would be different. He pulled out a pink heart with three little words emblazoned on it: I LOVE YOU. He took a deep breath and held it out to Walter.
Walter blinked quickly. His lips parted slightly as he stared at the tiny heart. Finally, he shook himself out of the haze. He reached out a trembling hand. Scooter shivered as Walter’s fingertips brushed his palm. He stayed perfectly still, not moving a muscle. Walter picked up the candy and brought it to his lips. Scooter watched, awestruck, as he reverently placed it in his mouth. He’d taken Scooter’s heart—in more than one way.
There were a few soft crunching sounds, and then his throat bobbed as he swallowed. A blush painted his cheeks rose-red. “The pink ones are my favorite,” he murmured.
“M-mine too.” Scooter’s heart fluttered. Did that mean—
A smile bloomed on Walter’s lips. “I love you too.”
It did! Scooter’s face grew pleasantly warm. He grinned back, knees weak.
“Oh! Lemme—” Walter reached for the bag. He pulled out a heart, read the message, and held it out, smiling shyly. “Will you…”
Scooter read the message, heart thrumming. BE MY BF. He smiled, popping it into his mouth. “I… I will.”
A wave of boldness struck him. It seemed like the curse had lifted. He pulled another heart out and gave it to Walter without even looking at it.
Walter gasped, cheeks growing redder. A chill ran down his neck. Had he made the wrong call?
“You’re… you’re sure?” Walter asked, playing with the hem of his sweater. His eyes were big and round and so, so pretty.
Scooter’s brow wrinkled. He wasn’t outright denying it, so it couldn’t be that bad, right? He doubled down. “I’m sure. Hit me.”
“Okay…” Walter took a deep breath and grabbed the heart out of Scooter’s hand. He ate it in two bites, swallowing hurriedly. Then, he leaned forward—he was so close!—and brushed his lips against Scooter’s.
Scooter’s heart stopped. He was kissing Walter, something he’d been dreaming about ever since he’d met him. Warmth spread through his body. Walter’s lips were just as soft and fuzzy as he’d imagined they’d be. He felt like he was floating. Everything was perfect.
Walter pulled away. A dreamy smile bloomed on his face. “Wow,” he breathed.
“So… I’m guessing that one said KISS ME,” Scooter said. His heart fluttered. He’d kissed Walter!
“Yeah…” Walter’s smile dropped. His eyes widened. “Wait—you didn’t know? Oh my gosh, Scooter—I’d thought you’d checked—”
“Shh.” Scooter ran a hand along Walter’s lips, silencing him. “I knew what I was getting into. Well, I didn’t, but—I figured if you were willing to consider it, I was willing to go along with it. And… I was right.”
Walter’s frown softened. “You still shouldn’t have… I don’t want to do something you don’t want to do…”
“You’re right. I won’t do that again, I promise,” Scooter said.
“Good.” Walter beamed at him, eyes crinkling.
Kermit walked by again. “Scooter? How are those waivers coming?”
“Oh, they’re… they’re coming, chief!”
“Great. When will you have ‘em done by?”
“Hmm. I don’t really know. How ‘bout I just drop them off on your desk when I’m done?”
“Sounds good to me! Thanks for being so productive, Scooter.”
Walter stifled a giggle.
Scooter ignored him, flashing a bright smile. “No problem!”
With that, Kermit walked off.
Walter turned back to Scooter. “Sorry for distracting you. You really should get some work done, y’know.”
“I know…” He sighed, offering Walter a grin. “You busy?”
“Huh? Well, no, not really…”
“Then… stay with me. Please.”
“What, not gonna say it with a heart?”
Scooter laughed. “With my luck, it’d probably just say SIT ON MY LAP, and as much as I want you to, I probably couldn’t get much work done like that.”
“Oh.” Walter’s cheeks flared up again. “Yeah, I bet you couldn’t.”
He grinned, feeling a bit bolder. “It does sound nice, though…”
“How about this.” Walter’s eyes sparkled. “You get your waivers finished, we take a nice long lunch break, and we eat up some of those other conversation hearts.” He slid the one that said LET’S MAKE OUT toward him.
Scooter’s mouth went dry. He looked up at Walter, heart racing. “W-well, we certainly shouldn’t waste food…”
Walter giggled, winking at him. “We shouldn’t.”