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Dean was stronger than he thought he was.
He’d been through so much; his parents; deaths, Sam going off the college, now Cas was going to Europe on a year-long business trip. Without him.
They’d gone through so many things together. Now, he would have to go through so many things alone. He wasn’t sure if he could stomach that. He’d always had someone beside him, someone that he could confide in, love, and trust. Not that he loved Cas, per-say.
They’d been best friends since they were little. Of course, he would develop some kind of feelings for Cas, but he always managed to push them away far enough so that it didn’t hurt to be so close to Cas. Castiel with the always shining blue eyes, and hair that looked like it was forever destined to be in a state of dishevelment. Cas who said his name like it was a word he forever wanted to repeat, and looked at him like he hung the moon.
But that wasn’t love. Right? Cas couldn’t love him.
~
Especially not now, when they’d be separated by an ocean. At least Cas had the idea to Skype Dean whenever he had a free moment.
Today was it.He looked over to Cas from the corner of his eye, keeping his hands in a death-grip on the steering wheel. Castiel Novak was looking out the window, the corners of his mouth tugged downward. He reached over and squeezed Cas’s shoulder, before looking back to the road. The airport was coming up in his peripherals.
He took a deep breath before pulling into the unloading bank. They parked, but neither of them moved. How could they? This was all they’d ever known. Each other. Them. Together.
“Well, we’re here.” The words escaped through Dean’s lips without him consenting. They hung in the air, daunting and final. Cas was going to leave him.
Cas turned to him, giving him a look he couldn’t place. Dean felt himself drawing closer, as Cas’s hand reached out to cup his cheek. He could feel Cas’s breath against his lips; the stinging sensation of his stubble against his cheeks. He closed his eyes -
Then, the car behind them decided they were taking longer than necessary, honking in their disapproval. The two jumped apart, faces red and hot.
“I guess it would be a good idea to pull up to the next space? We need to unload my luggage.” Cas sighed, pulling back to his spot against the car door. Too far away.
Dean grunted in response, pulling up a space, and unlocking the doors. The two said nothing to each other as they pulled Castiel’s bags out of the trunk. Cas pulled his boarding pass out of his pocket, holding between his forefingers.
Dean felt like he was aching. They’d been so close. Now, Cas was going to be gone. He’d probably find someone so much better than him. Someone how didn’t have as many flaws, who could better complete the beauty that was Castiel. He rubbed his keys in the palm of his hand, before looking at Cas once more.
“I’m going to miss you.”
Cas smiled softly, sadly. “I’ll miss you too, Dean. So much.”
The voice over the loudspeaker called for passengers to begin making their way to the terminal. They gave each other a final, heartbreaking smile. Dean began turning back to his car.
Then, his vision was obscured by a disheveled bedhead and blue eyes, and the press of soft lips, firm against his own. Cas pulled away, taking in the flush of Deans cheeks.
“I know,” Dean breathed, “Me too.”
~
Dean was stronger than he thought he was. He’d made it through so many things. His parents’ deaths, Sam going off to college, a nerve-racking wedding ceremony, adopting a little girl.
At least he had Castiel Novak-Winchester by his side. They’d been through so much together, after all.