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When Kaidan wakes, he's shocked by how bright the world is. He doesn't remember asking for this level of brightness from his windows. Then again, he doesn't remember heading to the beach, either. What he does remember is going to sleep with the rain pattering on the roof of the multi-family dwelling he currently calls home and the dark clouds covering everything. When he wakes, though, the view out the window isn't just bright, it's of a sandy shore and the most beautiful crystal clear water he's ever seen.
Even fifty years after the Reapers, the oceans on Earth are still recovering from the pollutants and stress to the ecosystem. There's no place on Earth that has this sort of color to it. It reminds him of pictures of the Great Barrier Reef or the waters around Hawaii, places he'd always meant to go and never found the time.
Blinking, clearing his eyes, he's surprised to see the view hasn't changed. There's even a palm tree out there, close enough that if he were to exit whatever room he's in, he'd be able to touch it. With all the places he's been as a Spectre, all the places he's been just to be, he's never seen a palm tree up close. It strikes him as odd that he's never seen something from Earth as simple as that.
Deciding 'no time like the present', he gets up, looking down at his white drawstring pants and noticing that the bed is all in white, as well. He's either been transported to some place ridiculously addicted to white while he was sleeping or he's dreaming. A quick pinch tells him that he's quite awake so he's found himself moved from his dreary apartment to this beautiful tropical wonderland. He's shirtless as he walks through the sliding glass doors before stepping into the sand in his barefeet.
It's warm, not uncomfortably so, as it seeps between his toes. He pauses, wiggling his toes deeper into the sand which is, of course, white. The sun heats his chilled chest when he hadn't realized that he was chilly until now. Wrapping his arms around his chest, he bounces in place for a minute, getting the blood flowing. It's amazing how easy it is to do in the sand. He'd always thought it would be harder, especially at his age.
Wait.
Kaidan looks down and the wrinkled skin, the age spots and the sagging muscles, aren't there. He's gotten so used to them that he'd assumed they were there. But. But they're gone. He hasn't had this defined of a body since… since… well, since. The scars are gone, too, even the one bisecting his chest where his armor had cut in during that final run to the beam. He holds his hands out in wonder, looking at the way that the skin is tight and unmarked by time, the fingers bending and extending with ease instead of arthritis.
"I was wondering how long it'd take you to notice." He hears a familiar voice and turns on his heel slowly, afraid that whatever this is will end and he'll wake up alone once more.
"Shepard?" he chokes out when he sees John leaning on the doorframe. He looks just as young as the day he'd passed, the trauma from the crash from the Citadel too much even for all of his cybernetics. In an instant, Kaidan relives the flight back from whatever planet they'd crashed on and the news that John had been found in a pile of rubble but he hadn't woken in weeks. That his body was wasting away, no signs of brain activity and would Kaidan, as next of kin (and hadn't that been a shock) should make the decision.
"About damned time you show up." John pushes off the door frame, standing tall once more and dressed similarly to Kaidan.
"Where are we?"
"We're where you want to be." John's stepping closer and closer. Kaidan wraps his arms around his chest to protect himself from what disappointment's about to come his way. When John had first died, Kaidan had dreamed of him more often than not. Waking without John had caused pain more deep than the worst of his migraines for the longest of times. It's been fifty years and all that pain rushes back in an instant, seizing his breath.
"Am I dreaming? Of course I'm dreaming." John's close enough to touch but Kaidan doesn't think he's capable of it, wants it too much to do anything but stand there and hug himself. The feel of John's hand on his forearm has him shuddering, his knees going weak. "I don't want to wake up."
"It's not a dream. You're here." John's hand trails up his forearm to rest over his heart. "I'm here. We're here together."
"It's been so long," he breathes out, still resisting leaning into that touch until his calves burn with the way he's holding back from rocking into John. "This can't be real. You're dead."
"So are you," John says in his blunt manner that's never failed to get through to Kaidan.
"I am?"
"If I tell you that your heart gave out, would that sound too melodramtic?"
"A bit, yeah." They're falling into the easy banter that Kaidan hasn't had since John left him behind all those years ago.
"Your heart gave out." John raises an eyebrow, daring him to claim melodrama.
"I had a heart attack?"
"Nope, heart failure. I think it's that you're such a stubborn bastard that it took you fifty years to die of a broken heart." For just a moment, Kaidan takes him seriously but then John's sly smile slides over his face. Kaidan can't hold back any longer, he rocks forward and pulls John into his arms, breathing deeply and inhaling the scent that he's shocked to find he remembers.
"You… you left me." He can't bring himself to do anything other than whisper here in John's tight embrace.
"You had to be safe. Couldn't have done it without knowing you were safe," John whispers back, air puffing against Kaidan's ears and trailing along his neck.
"Don't you ever leave me behind again. You hear me?"
"Aye, aye, Admiral." John makes a choking noise, half-laughter and half-something else.
"I've missed you so much."
"I know. Me too. I still wouldn't change it."
"You better make it up to me." Kaidan can feel tears pooling and he refuses to let it happen. Instead, he clings harder to John, pulling him closer while running his hands everywhere.
"Always." John presses his nose into Kaidan's neck, breathing in as deeply as Kaidan just did. It hits home to him that they're here, together and that it's permanent. There's no going back and Kaidan wouldn't want it anyway. They could've had fifty years of this, if John had just been a little less stubborn. The anger bubbles and then disappears as quickly as it came. He's got John's lips mouthing at his skin, why would he want to stay angry when he's got that and all that potential more ? "When you're ready, there's this great bar I have to show you…"