Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was a perfectly average day in the dormitories of Ensemble Square. Or as average as an average day could go in Ensemble Square. It was a rather hot afternoon, with the sun glaring down in a bright haze, so most were cooped up inside, practices canceled and live houses closed, all running fans plugged into the walls and whirring air conditioners in some vain attempt to cool the rooms down. But then Himeru had gotten a message on his hold-hands that the electricity had gone out due to overloads, so now, an hour later, he was sprawled out on the couch with sweat trailing its way down the line of his back. His clothes were sticking to him uncomfortably and he sighs for the umpteenth time as he scrolls through the community forum of hold-hands, silently watching a passive aggressive conversation go down between Eichi and their own dear producer Ibara Saegusa. Eichi shot retort after retort down as Ibara made excuses for why the power had gone out, and Himeru thought that was pathetic given he knew for certain neither of them were here suffering in the heat, but rather they were lounging in their mega mansions with working fans, a working air conditioner, and they probably had an ice pop in one hand as they typed pleasant insults to each other too. 

“ Arghhhh! ” Rinne Amagi throws himself out of his bunk, landing with a thump on the ground. He was bare minus his shorts, his skin glistening with sweat he promptly smears onto the wood flooring with each movement. Himeru wrinkles his nose and tucks his legs closer to himself, as if the sweat was contagious. It would be unfortunate if he caught Amagi’s stupidity through contact with his bodily fluids after all. 

“Are you alright, Amagi?” Himeru asks, though he could care less. He doesn’t look up from his screen. Eichi had resorted to sending strings of emojis and the little Ibara Saegusa Is Typing at the corner indicates that the COSPRO producer had no idea how to react to such responses, so he was stalling for time. If Himeru wasn’t so miserably hot than he would have found it rather amusing. 

“No! I am absolutely not!” Rinne splays his arms out like a starfish, groaning loudly. “I think imma die, Merumeru! It’s too fuckin’ hot !” 

Himeru sighs and shuts off his phone. It seems even the great Ibara Saegusa could be defeated by emojis, “Himeru has to agree, it is rather hot. But humans can withstand up to one-hundred-twenty degrees of heat before they succumb to the elements and Himeru can assure you, it is certainly not that dire yet.” 

Don’t ask Himeru how he knows that, though.

After the zoo incident, Ibara had moved their residence to the Ensemble Square grounds, to keep an eye on them he had said, and compared to their old apartment, the dormitory was small, much too cramped for the shenanigans of Crazy:B. So everytime Rinne flailed around, getting sweat on every possible surface he touched like some kind of wet dog shaking out bath water, Himeru was forced to retreat further and further into his position in the couch cushions. He was just about to snap at the Amagi, face smooshed into the stained fabric when Rinne suddenly sits up, eyes wide. Even Kohaku, who was quietly laying in his bunk with his phone pressed to bed above his, glanced over with slightly raised eyebrows. 

“I’ve got it, Meru!” Rinne grins, unleashing a bout of kahahah! “We have to go to that orange store. Ya know which one I’m talkin’ about, yeah?” 

Himeru squints at him, “There are many buildings that are painted orange, and plenty more that are stores. So no, Himeru cannot say he knows what you are talking about, Amagi.” 

Rinne swivels to Kohaku next, shoving a sweaty finger out at him, “Ya know what store I’m takin’ about, right? It’s the orange one, ya know? 

Kohaku scrambles back with a hiss, glaring at him, “Get ya disgustin’ fingers away from me! And no, I don’t know what the fuck ya talkin’ about!” 

“ God Kohaku-chan!” Rinne pokes him anyway. Kohaku snaps at him with his teeth. Rinne restracts his finger, hugging it to his chest protectively as he glared at the pink haired boy.  “That fuckin’ cowboy is teaching ya terrible manners! Ya swear all the fuckin’ time, ya have no respect for ya elders and ya fuckin’ bite! That cowboy bitch is a bad influence on little kids like ya!” 

Himeru can only sigh as he slowly emerges from the safety of the couch cushions. Kohaku looked at him desperately, pressed up against the wall to evade Rinne’s prodding so Himeru raises a hand and clears his throat, “Rinne, please elaborate. What orange store do you speak of?” 

“The orange one!” Rinne exclaims, throwing up his hands. “With the hammers and  wood’n shit!” 

Himeru pauses, “Home Depot?” 

“Yeah! That’s the place! With the catchy theme song!” 

Himeru’s eyebrows raise into his hairline, “According to the memes Himeru often finds on Twitter, homosexuals do not know how to construct things, Amagi. So he has to ask, why do we need to go to Home Depot?”

“ Hah ?” Rinne drawls out the questioning sound as he crosses his arms over his chest. Kohaku takes his moment of distraction to escape, leaping off the bed to plot himself down next to Himeru. Himeru scooches over to give him room, giving him an apologetic look. He hadn’t been fast enough to save him from a round of Rinne’s poking torture. “Mermeru, I know ya see us as brothers, but homie is so outdated, just call me bruh or something.” 

Kohaku slides a hand down his face and Himeru is forced to sigh again. He has been sighing a lot more lately, he has noticed. He suspects the bee-bonding trip to the zoo cut several years off his life and he was slowly, gradually inching his way closer to death the longer he stayed around the culprit of the incident, “Himeru does not have any such attachment to you.”

“Then what the fuck does homie-sexual mean, ya smart ass?” Rinne says. He looks slightly hurt that Himeru denies family ties to their ragtag unit but Himeru finds himself not caring in the slightest. But god, Himeru does care when Rinne was too stupid to understand that the world just wasn’t made entirely of straights. But luckily, Himeru is quite skilled in educating the idiotic, as he has had to do so many times in various Twitter comment sections. And even better, Rinne couldn’t block him IRL when Himeru evidently finds himself right and the Amagi evidently finds himself wrong. So he carefully folds one sweaty leg over the other and clasps his hands together neatly in his lap.

“Amagi, you like Shiina, yes?” Himeru asks. 

“Of course I do! Who else has a fatter ass than him, kahahahaha !” Rinne cackles and slaps the floor. It sends moisture particles flying into the air. Himeru has to take a calming breath as a speck of it lands on his leg before continuing.  

“And Shiina is a man, yes?” 

Rinne scowls at him, “Well, yeah, I think so at least.” The dark look deepens, “If this is about me callin’ him my wife, tell him—“

“No no.” Himeru holds up a hand. “Himeru could care less about the words of endearment you wish to use for each other. His point is that, because you find yourself fond of Shiina, who identifies as a male, you are a homosexual, Amagi. And because you’re a homosexual, Himeru highly doubts you can find anything useful at Home Depot.” 

Rinne stares at him for a moment. Kohaku blinks beside Himeru. He had set aside his phone to watch the conversation quietly. After a moment Rinne points a finger at Himeru with a jutted lip. 

“ Okay ya got me there, Meru. So why don’t ya go get the shit and why don’t ya build it then if ya faith in me has failed ya !” 

Himeru lifts his chin in turn and admits calmly, “First of all, Himeru still has no idea what you want to build, as you have failed to elaborate. And second of all, Himeru too finds himself thinking sinful thoughts about other men. So he is afraid he cannot be of help either. Which again begs the question, why must we go to Home Depot?”

Rinne ignores his question yet again and swivels around to Kohaku, “And what about ya, Kohaku-chan, are ya a homie-sexual too?”

Kohaku’s face goes as pink as his hair and he stutters for a moment, saving him from answering. Himeru gives him a sympathetic look. Kohaku seems to fold in on himself in the depths of the sagging couch, as if he wanted to disappear into it entirely. Himeru couldn’t help but pity him. The first time he had a less-than-straight thought about another man (Himeru tries not to imagine him now, with the pair of moles dotted delicately beneath his eye and his minty hair growing out long against his nape– Nope, Himeru wasn’t imagining him at all) he buried himself beneath his sheets like the comforts of his bed would somehow ward away the thoughts. But a year later and still very much having such thoughts, Himeru has more or less made peace with himself.

“Alright fine then!” Rinne exclaims and throws up his hands. “Then I guess if we’re all homie-sexuals, whatever da fuck that means, then I guess we gotta find somebody that isn’t and have them go get our shit!” 

Himeru blinks slowly, “Himeru has a feeling that will be rather difficult.” 

Kohaku nods, “Yeah… Rinne, I don’t think ya know how many of us are… ya know. Homie-sexual.” 

“Shut the fuck up Kohaku-chan, the adults are talkin’.” Rinne snaps, as if he had forgotten the last time he had said that had ended up with their 2011 Toyota Corolla crashed into the side rail of the freeway. Kohaku looks about ready to launch himself at the Amagi so Himeru quickly lays a reassuring hand on his arm. Kohaku glances at him, grinding his back teeth together in the beginnings of a growl but after Himeru gives him a ‘it isn’t worth it’ look, he groans and flops back with his arms crossed. His hand gropes around for his phone but both his and Himeru’s gaze lands on it still resting in his bed, which Rinne is blocking. Kohaku rubs his temples, closing his eyes. Himeru could practically see the steam rising from him. 

“So.” Rinne grins, pushing his face up to Himeru’s, Himeru holds him back with one hand, wrinkling his nose. “Whatcha say we go find some not-homie-sexuals?” 

Himeru was just about to decline when he pauses. Ultimately he’d find himself entangled in the situation somehow, whether Rinne physically dragged him into it or he was convicted out of association… He really didn’t want to listen to Rinne complain the entire day either… And thinking on Kohaku’s behalf, he didn’t know how much more the poor boy could handle if they all stayed cooped up in the dorm anyways. 

“Fine.” Himeru says flatly. “Himeru will join you in your endeavor.” 

“What!?” Kohaku whirls around to stare at Himeru. Rinne does the same, jaw dropping open in shock. Himeru sighs, shoving away the red-haired man before surprised drool dribbling out of his mouth falls onto his hand. 

“Hah?!” Rinne barks. “Really? Ya’ll help me?”

God above, Himeru was already regretting his decision, “Yes. Himeru does not see why not. It is too hot to just sit around anyways.” 

Rinne eyes light up like he just won the jackpot and he grabs Himeru’s hand with a wide grin, “Thank ya, Merumeru! Yer the best, have I ever told ya that?” His lips pucker up and Himeru jerks his hand away before the Amagi could get any more homie-sexual. 

“Himeru knows he is.” Himeru wipes his hand on his pant leg and gets up. “Please, lead the way Amagi.” 

As Rinne bounces up with newfound energy, prancing off, Kohaku scowls at Himeru with a look of betrayal on his face. Himeru gives him a weak smile. 

“He won’t be able to find anybody straight.” Himeru says. “But Himeru thought it would be best to supervise Amagi should he anger somebody he shouldn’t. Himeru hopes you see the logic in that and that this is merely a matter of convenience. Himeru would never go out of his way to be kind to Amagi.”

Kohaku deflates with a sigh but nods begrudgingly, “Ya truly are a genius, Himeru-han.” He gathers up his phone and follows after him, but as if learning from last time, he shoves the device in his pocket so Rinne couldn’t nag him for being an Ipad kid. 

It isn’t hard to follow Rinne, as he walks with a heavy, uneven gait and the sound of his kahahaha echoes out throughout the hallways. Himeru has to chide him to keep it down or else their neighbors were going to get angry, but the Amagi proceeded to ignore him and cackle louder. Himeru sighs in response in exasperation. Every passing moment around Rinne Amagi really did seem to age him.

And he hadn’t taken his Advil for the day yet either so a splitting headache was forming between his eyebrows. But then again the Advil-a-day-keeps-the-Rinne-away was truly false advertising because here Himeru is, trailing after said Rinne Amagi when he really should be sitting in a tub filled with ice to try and cool off. 

“Where are we goin’?” Kohaku asks when Rinne leads them out into the courtyard of Ensemble Square. It was blistering hot and Himeru can feel the instant the heat hits him, sweat already beginning to form on his skin again. Maybe this was God’s way of punishing Himeru for being a homosexual. That or he was preparing Himeru for the Hell he would find himself in when he died. 

He suddenly wishes he brought sunglasses though.

“To get Nikki, of course!” Rinne points towards the entrance of Cafe Cinnamon across the way.  “I gotta get my homie-sexual if imma find non-homie-sexuals.” 

“Himeru believes that is a paradox.” Himeru points out, fanning himself. 

Kohaku slaps his forehead, “Yer gonna get Nikki-han fired, Rinne.” 

After the zoo incident that put their faces on national television for exactly ten minutes before Ibara pulled some strings and managed to clear their name, the manager of Cafe Cinnamon threatened to fire Nikki if he took any more time off for his shenanigans, refusing to listen when Niki desperately tried to convince him that he was trying out new sweet pork rib recipes when Rinne dragged him kicking and screaming to the zoo. It had been the half truth, because Nikki had been making sweet pork ribs until Rinne had made him unplug the slow cooker but then again, Nikki also had eaten what Himeru was beginning to suspect was an ostrich so Himeru found himself agreeing with the manager, despite Nikki’s waterworks that had followed. But still, Nikki brought in a considerable amount of L$ and they couldn’t afford to lose that income, so Himeru catches Rinne's hand as he goes to kick open the door to Cafe Cinnamon. 

“Please consider your words and actions wisely.” Himeru says. “It would be a shame if Shiina got fired.” 

But Rinne shakes him off, “God, stop being a homie-sexual, Merumeru, save that for the priest bitch.” And with that, Rinne kicks the door open and strolls in as the little bell above the door flies off with the impact to plink sadly across the floor. Himeru stares at him for a moment, feeling an unwanted heat crawling up his neck. Kohaku walks around him, giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder. 

“Keep ya head up, Himeru-han.” Kohaku says.

Himeru closes his eyes briefly and exhales deeply, “Of course.” 

“Nikki?!” Rinne shouts as he slaps both hands against the countertop. It was just as hot in the Cafe as it was outside, given the large windows and the smell of warm food. Himeru wipes away the sweat that gathers on his hairline. It would be just as much a shame if he broke out because of the heatwave. 

“Rinne-kun?” Nikki emerges from the back. There's a bit of sauce smeared at the corner of his lip and he’s holding… something. Himeru just hopes it isn’t another ostrich. Though maybe it was a zebra this time. “Rinne-kun, what are you doing here?”

“Lookin’ for my favorite homie-sexual!” Rinne beams at him. But Nikki’s face falls and he glowers at the red-haired man, lifting his chin as he points the object-that-looks-vaguely-like-food at Rinne. 

“H–Hey! If you’re just here to make a scene then get out! I don’t wanna get fired again!” Nikki emphasizes the ‘again’. But Rinne only had two bee-shaped brain cells rattling around in his skull and neither of them hit the corner so he continued on without missing a beat.

“So Nikki, I gotta go to Home Depot to get some shit but Meru said only straight people can go to Home Depot so I gotta find an idol that isn’t a homie-sexual.” Rinne explains rather loudly. Himeru was glad it was too hot for anybody else to be in the Cafe because he didn’t think he could stand to get publicly ridiculed again. “But it’s gonna be another bee bondin’ moment so we came to get ya!” 

“Himeru had tried to tell him not to.” Is all Himeru could offer.  

Nikki bites into the hopefully-not-ostrich sadly and sighs, “Well… I was just about to close down anyway so I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go with you.” 

Really, was Himeru the only one with half a brain here? 

Rinne cheers loudly and vaults over the counter to further harass the chef-idol. Kohaku glances at Himeru. 

“What do ya think Rinne wants to build anyways?”

Himeru shakes his head vaguely, “Himeru could not tell you. But hopefully it will be something to take Himeru out of his misery. It is the least Amagi could do.” 

Kohaku gives him the look that says wow you need therapy Himeru-han but Himeru knows this already so he does not care. Rinne skips back over, Nikki slung beneath one no-doubt sweaty armpit. 

“Onwards my bees!” He commands. There is a collective sigh but they end up following him anyways, though Nikki is more dragged along than anything, trapped beneath Rinne’s arm. The pair begin to bicker, as usual, and Himeru is suddenly reminded of an old married couple, as they argue over the weather, and how Nikki has too fat an ass apparently. How are those linked in any way? Himeru does not know. But they remind him of a married couple that were bordering on the verge of divorce, but a couple nevertheless. 

It was going to be a very long day and Himeru could say with more mounting certainty that Rinne would not find what he was looking for in Ensemble Square. 

Their first stop were the practice rooms because despite it being a scorching hot day that lacked air conditioning, COSPRO was an agency filled with tryhards so there was bound to be somebody practicing anyways, Rinne had reasoned. But Himeru was just about to walk away when they had busted into numerous empty studios when he heard the telltale sound of music throbbing within the supposedly-sound proof walls. Kohaku glances at him before shrugging, following after the sound. 

While there were no assigned practice rooms– they could be booked by anybody– there was an unspoken agreement between units that favored certain rooms over others so most tended to stay in their particular studios. Crazy:B of course couldn’t afford the rates COSPRO charged for the rooms so they practiced wherever they could, but Himeru knew one unit that wouldn’t cancel practice even for a heatwave and could afford the ridiculous room expenses. And Himeru knew for a fact that their leader would not put up with Rinne’s bullshit. But before Himeru could even begin to reason with the Amagi, Rinne pushed the door open hard enough to send it slamming into the wall. 

Himeru steels himself inwardly. This was not about to go well if he was right about the unit. And Himeru doesn’t remember the last time he was wrong. 

Shu Itsuki shrieks as the door bangs against the wall loudly and he stumbles back in shock, eyes wide. But his surprised expression quickly transforms into a searing scowl as he glares at Rinne. 

“You utter buffoon!” Shu shouts. “Has the term knocking ever come across your shallow thoughts?!” 

Rinne shakes his head with a grin, “Nope!” He places his hands on his hips and leans down towards Shu. 

It was his funeral if he wants to get slapped. Himeru thinks. 

“Nghhh, oshi-san!” Mika Kagehira turns off the music and scrambles over to latch himself onto the arm of the other Valkyrie member. “Are ya alright? That was a real scary bang.” He glances up and seems to notice the rest of Crazy:B standing there so he quickly wipes the sweat off his brow and gives a nervous smile, “Can we help ya?”

“Yeah actually! Yer just the people I was lookin’ for, kahahaha!” Rinne barks out his infamous hyena laugh but it quickly breaks into a hacking fit. Shu stares at him with such disgust on his face, nose wrinkled in recoil and his eyes narrowed to slits that Himeru can’t help but marvel at such a vile expression on the usually elegant man’s face. Rinne Amagi truly did bring out the worst in people. 

“Non!” Shu steps back to avoid being sprayed with Amagi-spittle. “I will not help idiots such as yourselves. Now please see yourselves out!” 

“Nghh, what oshi-san is trying to say–” Mika adds apologetically, smiling weakly though he looked just as uneasy, clutching Shu’s arm like a koala. “--Is that we’re kinda busy right now… Y’know, with Lives comin’ up and stuff… But I have Oukawa-chan’s number so I’d be happy to text ya guys later!” 

“It’s nothing too important.” Nikki says from around Rinne. “Rinne-kun needs to go to Home Depot but he can’t. And we can’t either.”

Mika blinks, “O–Oh. Well, I’m takin’ oshi-san out to dinner tonight, to y’know, talk about Lives… and dancin’ and stuff, but I guess I could stop by after for ya.” He smiles, “We’re in the same agency after all so we gotta help each other out!”

See? Himeru was always right. Lives and dancin’ and stuff. Please, Himeru knows the codeword for “date” anywhere. They were not going to find anybody that could go to Home Depot here. 

But Rinne was an idiot and had to narrow his eyes and ask anyways, “Dinner ya say? What kinda dinner, hah ?”

“None that concerns you!” Shu growls, though Himeru notices his cheeks were flushed the color of Kohaku’s hair. “Now can you please get out?!” 

Kohaku nods quickly, grabbing one of Rinne’s hands, “Rinne, I think we should leave…!”

“Shaddup Kohaku-chan, the adults are talkin’.” Kohaku begins to quiver like a bomb about to implode. “Itsuki-chan, would ya say yer a homie-sexual?” 

Mika tilts his head, “Homie-sexual? Oshi-san, what is that?” 

Shu Itsuki turns the color of Rinne’s hair now and he points a shaking finger at Rinne, “I–I can report you for harassment! COSPRO will not allow this!” 

“ Hah ?!” Rinne’s mouth drops open. “It was a fuckin’ question, that’s all, no need to tattle! I just wanna know if yer a homie-sexual! Y’know, when ya like other men’n shit!” 

Himeru slowly begins to back towards the door, signaling silently for Kohaku to follow him. Kohaku catches his gaze and despite being pissed off at Rinne, that was a daily occurance so his logical side quickly inches after Himeru. 

“Himeru suggests we leave now.” Himeru whispers as Shu begins to scream at Rinne in French. 

Kohaku nods, “That’s probably wise.” 

“Nghhh! Oshi-san!” Is the last thing Himeru hears before he closes the door, Shu tearing at Rinne with an explosion of furious sounding French. Nikki bangs on the door desperately, begging for escape but Himeru quickly backs away, staring at the shadows of carnage that move behind the tinted glass of the studio room. 

“Ah.” Kohaku gulps. “They’ll be alright… Right?”

Himeru nods slowly, “Probably?” 

They stare at each other for a moment before walking down the hallway like nothing happened. It worked last time– Himeru was never convicted of manslaughter by association because he closed his eyes when Rinne ran over innocent school children with the zookeeper golf cart so this wasn’t any different. Plus he could say he didn’t understand French, which was true, so he could plead that he hadn’t known Shu’s intentions of attack. 

It was a rather foolproof plan if Himeru did say so himself. 

“Sooo…” Kohaku steals a glance at Himeru as they wander down the halls. “You’re a homie-sexual too, Himeru-han?” 

Himeru stills, “Are we really having this conversation right now?” 

Kohaku scrambles for a reply, waving his hands frantically. He gives an embarrassed little chuckle and rubs the back of his neck, “I–I’m sorry, yer right. It isn’t my place to ask.” 

Himeru shakes his head after a moment, “No, Himeru apologies for snapping. It seems Amagi is rubbing off on him. To answer your question, yes, Himeru does find himself preferring males over females. Is there a reason you wanted to know that?” He raises his eyebrows down at the pink-haired idol. Kohaku flushes and shakes his head. 

“N–Not in any way like that, Himeru-han. I just had… questions. About men. Yeah.” 

“Alright.” Himeru replies. “Please ask Himeru these male-related questions and he will see what he can do.” 

Kohaku is silent for a stretch of time and for a moment Himeru worries he may have left him behind so he glances over his shoulder worriedly. But Kohaku is still there beside him, walking with his eyes glued to the floor, as if suddenly the shiny tile is interesting. Himeru frowns. 

“Oukawa?” 

“A–Ah, I’m sorry Himeru-han, it’s just real embarrassing y’know?” Kohaku fingers at the hem of his sweaty t-shirt. “It’s just… I have a bit of a crush. I think. And I–I don’t know what to do… Since y’know. Men.” He ends the statement vaguely. And Himeru begins to understand entirely– the reason Kohaku is always on his phone, why he was so defensive when Rinne asked him if he were a homie-sexual. 

“There is no reason to be embarrassed.” Himeru reassures. “Himeru would be happy to assist you in your dilemma.”

“Really?” Kohaku looks up at him with wide eyes that utterly melts Himeru’s soul. 

Himeru smiles and nods, “Of course.” 

“Well then, thank ya kindly, Himeru-han.” Kohaku smiles. They push their way through the sliding doors, which weren’t working because the power was still out, and they enter the studio lounge room. Himeru settles onto an armchair that lacked ramen stains and Kohaku sits opposite of him, fidgeting. 

Himeru gestures for him to continue, “So. If you wouldn’t mind Himeru being so bold, but he is curious about who may have caught your eye.” 

Kohaku flushes, “Well… You know Love-han? From Alkaloid?” 

Himeru blinks, “Himeru cannot say he does.”

“O–Oh!” Kohaku’s face is bright and he looks down sheepishly. A smile tugs at his lips. “A–Ah, sorry, ya probably know him as Aira.”

“Himeru does not think you need his advice if you’re already on a pet-name basis.” Himeru chuckles. Kohaku quickly flails his hands and shakes his head with wide eyes. 

“No! It isn’t like that, Himeru-han!” Kohaku groans into his hands. “It was his internet username… I still haven’t gotten used to calling him Aira yet…” 

Well, that does explain the phone thing.

Himeru smiles lightly, “Himeru understands. There are many people nowadays meeting people online and falling in love, even from hundreds of miles away with nothing but screen interactions.” 

Kohaku rubs the back of his neck, “Heh… Thank you Himeru-han. But I’m still rather hung up on how to tell him how I feel… ” He glances up with wide eyes, gnawing on his lip. “What if he isn’t… y’know. A homie-sexual.” 

Himeru can’t help but laugh dryly, “Oukawa, the odds of him being a homie-sexual is rather high given where we are.” 

Kohaku joins in on his laugh, and for a moment the pair of them sit there laughing about this whole situation. It was record breaking hot outside, the air conditioner was broken, they were sweating so much that their clothes stuck to their skin and they were both pining over Alkaloid members. Seriously, what was with Alkaloid? Himeru was beginning to suspect foul play. 

“Himeru suggests you tell him exactly what you told Himeru.” Himeru says as their laughter dies down. “Sometimes simply telling him you have feelings without all the lovey-dovey things you may see in movies is better. It may feel more personal.” 

Kohaku pauses, his face scrunching up as he cups his chin in thought, “Hm. Maybe yer right.”

“Himeru often is.”

Kohaku flashes him a lopsided smile, “Have ya ever done it before, by the way? Ya give awfully good advice if ya haven’t.” 

Himeru gives him a blank face, “Himeru hasn’t a clue what you’re talking about.” 

“Confessed.” Kohaku replies. “Have ya ever confessed to somebody before, Himeru-han?”

For the first time in recent memory, Himeru is utterly relieved to see Rinne. Rinne stumbles into the lounge room panting, his headband nowhere to be seen and his clothes torn in several places. He collapses between them as Nikki comes scrambling into one of the free armchairs, sniffling pathetically. 

“ Fuck. ” Rinne gasps, his eyes wide and shot as he stares up at the ceiling. Himeru and Kohaku glance at each other before leaning over their leader as he lays sprawled between them. 

“Uh… What happened, Rinne?” Kohaku asks tentatively. 

“Oh it was horrible!” Nikki sobs, sagging against the airchair dramatically. “Itsuki-kun is so mean!” 

Himeru sighs, “Himeru told you not to bother them.”

“Shut up.” Rinne snaps, but it doesn’t hold as much bite as it usually does. “Okay so I admit, that did not go well. And turns out Itsuki-chan is a homie-sexual too.”

“Himeru also told you that.”

“So I guess we gotta keep lookin’!” Rinne jumps to his feet suddenly and Kohaku reels with a yelp. Rinne pauses to glance between them, “What were ya two talkin about before Nikki and I got here?”

Kohaku blushes and scowls, “None of yer business.” 

“God, Kohaku-chan yer such a bitch.” Rinne grumbles as he hauls Nikki up. Nikki wipes his nose pathetically in his sleeve. 

“Rinne-kun, all this searching is making me hungry.” Nikki whines, his eyes glistening as he blinks up at their bee leader. Rinne rolls his eyes and throws up his free hand. 

“Well unless ya wanna go back and ask Itsuki-chan for a croissant I dunno what ya want me to do.” 

“Himeru believes he may have an energy bar in his pocket.” Himeru says. He fishes around in his pocket and there is in fact an energy bar, if not a bit (very) melted. Nikki breaks out in a wide grin as he snatches it, tearing it open with his teeth. His eyes sparkle with bliss as he rips a chunk out of it. 

“Ahhhh, you’re the best Himeru!” 

Himeru nods, “Himeru knows.”

Rinne starts off again, an apparent newfound vigor in him as he busts open the door to lead them back out into the courtyard with Nikki bouncing up beside him. Kohaku comes up to Himeru and asks with raised eyebrows. 

“How long has that energy bar been in ya pocket, Himeru-han?”

Himeru shrugs with an even smile, “Himeru has no idea.” 

So they follow Rinne for a while, wandering in and out of various buildings but it seems everybody else is hiding away from the heat. But maybe that's a good thing given how the last incursion led to one angry French man and a conversation that was treading a bit too close to a certain mint-haired man for Himeru’s liking. 

But really, when did anything ever go to Himeru’s liking?

“Oi!” Rinne suddenly calls out. At some point, their leader had led them back into the dormitories so Himeru was just about to tell Rinne to shut up before they got kicked out of another living space when the words died in his throat. 

Tatsumi Kazehaya was standing at the refreshment counter, a towel draped around his shoulders. He glances up from the water bottle he had been sipping at when Rinne trot up to his side and he chuckles easily when the red-haired man slings an arm over his neck. 

“Ah, Rinne-kun.” Tatsumi says. God, Himeru already wanted to claw his ears off, maybe his eyes too just so he didn’t have to hear or see the priest-idol. “It is rather hot today, isn’t it? I just got back from the showers as I couldn’t think of any other way to cool off.” 

Tatsumi gives his hair a shake with one hand, spraying water droplets. Moisture had slicked a length of his green hair to his nape, the rest of it hanging limp to frame his face wetly and he wore the Alkaloid practice uniform, the shorts rolled up a bit closer to his hips than Himeru would have liked. Himeru did not need to see that much skin. There were little moles scattered over the exposed pale expanse of him, just like the pair that was dotted delicately beneath his eye and Himeru finds his traitorous mind wondering how many Tatsumi may have, and if they were on his chest and back too, hidden beneath those layers of clothes. 

Tatsumi glances over at him as if he sensed his homie-sexual thoughts and he breaks out in such a bright smile that Himeru recoils as if burned, “Himeru-san! It is nice to see you.”

It takes all of Himeru’s willpower not to gag, “Likewise.” 

Kohaku raises his eyebrows at him but stays silent, shaking his head with a shallow sigh.

Great, Kohaku was catching on too. Was everybody a mind reader now? 

“Alright, alright, too much sexual tension.” Rinne peels himself off of Tatsumi. Himeru grimaces at the squelch and not at all because Rinne called out his sexual tension. “I need ya help, Kazehaya.”

Tatsumi continues to stare at Himeru with that stupid, too-kind smile that makes Himeru want to self-combust as he replies without missing a beat, as if he wasn’t openly ogling Himeru, “Of course, I would be happy to. What can I do for you, Rinne-kun?” 

“Actually, yer probably the perfect person for this! Since yer a Jesus bitch’n all, kahahaha!” Rinne laughs at his own joke, but it really wasn’t a joke because nobody but him was laughing. Tatsumi actually frowned a bit, looking rather confused and maybe even a bit offended. But that was quite alright with Himeru because that meant he wasn’t smiling at him anymore and Himeru didn’t know how much longer he could have survived if he continued. 

Nikki tugs at Rinne’s hand, “Rinne-kun! Don’t be rude! What if he yells at us in French too?!”

“French?” Tatsumi blinks, finally turning his gaze away from Himeru. Thank whatever god was listening to his pleas. “I can assure you I only speak Japanese. But yes, I’d love to help with whatever you needed?” Even he sounds a bit hesitant and Himeru can’t even blame him. Rinne just has that aura about him that makes people mentally prepare for his bullshit. Though apparently not enough because Himeru is never mentally prepared for his bullshit.

“Great! I knew I could count on ya!” Rinne gives his most winning smile, which might have been better if he hadn’t looked like a walking disaster, with his hair strewn messily without his headband to hold it back and his slightly ripped clothes clinging to his sweaty skin like a wetsuit. 

Kohaku gives Tatsumi a weak smile, “Run while ya still can, Kazehaya-han.”

Tatsumi gives him a strange look but before he can question, Rinne bursts into what seems like the millionth repeat of their outing’s explanation, “So I gotta go to that orange store, Home Depot, y’know? Anyways, I can’t go because I’m a homie-sexual apparently, and so is Kohaku-chan, and Nikki and Merumeru, which sucks because now none of us can go to Home Depot and I really gotta go to Home Depot.”

Himeru feels his cheeks beginning to heat up under the look Tatsumi gives him when Rinne mentions that he is in fact, a homie-sexual. Himeru almost wishes the floor would rise up and reclaim him into the earth. Almost wishes. Himeru was no coward. So instead he gives Tatsumi his own most winning glare. 

“But if you’re also a homie-sexual, that’s okay too!” Nikki quickly adds. His eyes were wide, as if worried Tatsumi would also attack them for such an accusation. 

Tatsumi gives a slight smile, gaze flicking to each of the bees in turn before he says slowly, “By homie-sexual, could you mean homosexual ?” 

“Yeah, same difference.” Rinne picks at his nails nonchalantly. 

“Ah. That makes much more sense.” Tatsumi says, nodding to himself. “Though I have to ask… Why does your preference for… ” He trails off, glancing at Himeru again. “Preference for men prevents you from going to Home Depot?” 

Himeru was seriously going to explode. And if not that, commit some serious crimes. He forces out a reply through grit teeth, “It all started with a simple joke Himeru made by mistake. But Amagi took it seriously. Please ignore him. Have a good day.” Himeru turns on his heels to leave because if he doesn’t get out of the fucking room right this instant he was either going to strangle Tatsumi or his homie-sexuality was going make him do something he’d regret. But of course Rinne grabs him by his shirt collar and drags him back with surprising strength. 

“Hah?!” Rinne exclaims. “Yer tellin’ me homie-sexuals actually can go to Home Depot?!”

Himeru hardly restrains the anger threatening to boil over, sighing so hard that his bangs fly out of his eyes, “Yes, it was a joke, Amagi. Now let Himeru go.”

“And why should I?! You lied to me!”

“It is not Himeru’s fault that you are too stupid to understand his obvious jests.” 

“Ah, Himeru-san?” Tatsumi leaned around Rinne, his soft eyes rounded and one hand clutched at the towel wrapped around his shoulders so tightly his knuckles turned white. Himeru was so close to breaking character and also breaking somebody’s neck, be it Rinne’s or Tatsumi’s. Really, he deserves a pat on the fucking back for putting up with this for so long. 

“Yes?” Is all Himeru can trust himself to say, anymore and he would find himself screaming. 

Tatsumi looks down. A shy smile curves his lips and his two little moles are highlighted beneath the blush that paints his cheeks a soft pink, “Well… Forgive me if this is rude, but I didn’t know you were interested in the same gender, romantically.” 

Kohaku stares at Himeru with wide eyes, clear alarm bells going off in both their heads. Even Rinne drops his hold on Himeru to watch it go down, Nikki scrambling to latch onto his side with a bag of popcorn from who knows where. 

“Yes but Himeru cannot fathom why you care.” Himeru snaps, feeling himself stiffen. This had to be a nightmare, a terrible, terrible dream. Himeru had nightmares all the time. It was entirely plausible that this was just another of them. 

Tatsumi clasps his hands together and he finally looks up to meet Himeru’s gaze. Himeru suddenly notices how long Tatsumi’s lashes are, and how with each blink they manage to brush his high cheekbones in gentle brushes. 

“Then if you’re interested, I would love to take you out to dinner sometime.” Tatsumi offers quietly. He quickly adds.“Though only if you’re free! I’d hate to be a burden on your schedule, Himeru-san.” 

This could not be real. This could not be real at all. This was all just a dream. Yep. Just a dream. Himeru has had plenty of dreams about Tatsumi. Or maybe he fainted from heat stroke and he was hallucinating. Yeah, that was sensible. And Himeru was very sensible afterall. 

Rinne swipes a handful of popcorn to munch on, “Damn, Kazehaya is a homie-sexual too. Guess we gotta keep searchin’.” 

Kohaku shoots him a glare, “That’s what yer thinkin’ about?!” 

Tatsumi looks away when Himeru stays silent, clear embarrassment on his face as he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, “I–I’m sorry Himeru-san. I should get going.” He bows quickly to each of them and as he does so, Rinne kicks Himeru in the backside, hissing as Tatsumi turns to leave.

“Meru, yer clearly smitten! Stop being a dumbass and say yes!” Rinne whisper-yells. Himeru glowers at him with all his might, but it was hard with how bright his face was. 

“Yeah!” Nikki adds through a mouthful of popcorn. Really where did he get that? “You’ve got this!” Even Kohaku, the little traitor, gives him a nod with a smile quirking at his lips. Himeru grits his teeth, feeling his resolve crumbling as Tatsumi walks away. God, he really was growing soft. He just hopes his lifespan really was getting shortened the longer he stayed around Crazy:B because he doesn’t know what he’d do if he found himself owning a cozy one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment with Tatsumi Kazehaya five years from now. 

“Y–Yes!” Himeru shouts suddenly, his voice cracking. “Y–Yes. Himeru thinks his schedule is free tomorrow night.” 

All of Crazy:B cheers for him as Tatsumi looks over his shoulder in surprise. The surprise quickly morphs into a sweet smile that has Himeru’s heart doing all sorts of homie-sexual things. 

“I look forward to it then, Himeru-san.” Tatsumi waves at him bashfully before hurrying off. Himeru lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding, staring after where the priest-idol had just run off to. Rinne slings an arm over his shoulder, giving him a shit eating grin as he pokes at his flushed cheek.

“Look at ya go, Meru, getting bitches.” Rinne cackles when Himeru shrugs him off with a tch. 

Kohaku smiles up at him too, “Congrats, Himeru-han!” Himeru can only manage a weak, slightly wobbly smile. 

Suddenly, a rumble goes through the building. Cold air washes over the bees and a collective sigh is released from them all as the air conditioner finally kicks on with a sputter. 

“I am happy to announce that the power is back on!” Ibara Saegusa’s voice rings out over the intercom system and he sounds just as relieved as they all did, though Himeru still sticks by his theory that the COSPRO producer was really in his mega mansion rather than suffering with the rest of them. But it didn’t matter in the end because the power was back on and apparently Himeru was going on a date with none other than Tatsumi fucking Kazehaya himself. 

“Aw, fuck.” Rinne looks up at the ceiling vent with a scowl. “I never got to build my fan.” 

Himeru pauses, slowly glancing at the leader bee, “Did Himeru hear that correctly? You wanted to build a fan?” 

Rinne nods, crossing his arms with a pouting tilt of his lips, “Well yeah! How else were we gonna cool down? Kind of a stupid question, Meru.”

Kohaku stares at him, disgust clear on his face as if Rinne’s idiocy still shocked him, “Rinne, if the power was out, how were we gonna power the fan?!” 

Rinne is silent and that is all they needed to know. Their leader dragged them around for literally nothing. Again. 

And now you have a date. Himeru pinches himself. And it wasn’t a dream either. Fuck.