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New Year was a strange holiday for Tsukasa.
Many tend to feel emotional for the end of the year, in addition to the fact that on this date together with Christmas is when families are more united. And the last time Tsukasa spent New Year's with his family, he wasn't even five years old.
Saki's illness didn't allow the girl to be in that kind of festivities since the hospital hours were strict. For this reason, when she told him that she would spend the new year with Ichika and the rest of Leo/Need, he was not would be lying if he said that it didn't hurt a bit, but he understands that Saki wants to make up for all the time she lost with her friends, besides, who is he to deny his sister's happiness, she deserves to have a happy life after everything she had to go through as a child.
On his parents' side, he was used to them going out on New Year's at the invitation of one of their acquaintances, being taken care of by the Aoyagi family if they were not busy, or by a relative, or in most cases left alone. But he couldn't complain either, he had to act like the eldest son of the family and he knew that his parents deserved a break from the harsh reality at that time.
Now, he was alone in the living room of his house, he was not hungry since they had dined as a family before everyone left, but from the moment he was left in that house completely illuminated by Christmas lights both inside and outside, he did not stop feel discomfort in his chest, the last time he felt that it was after he met Akito, since then that discomfort never appeared again and Tsukasa despite what many believe, is not stupid, he knows perfectly well what this bother is, but admitting out loud that at this moment that he feels lonely would be very out of his personality.
What kind of star is afraid of being left by others? What kind of street performer is afraid to sing alone without anyone? As an actor and as a street performer he couldn't let that kind of insecurities eat him. For this reason, he decided that it was best not to get involved with others on this day, each one had their own business, Akito and Azusawa will spend the New Year with their families, and Akiyama have that end-of-year event in one of their online video games.
His troupe members at work were also busy, Rui along with Toya help Ken-san and Shiraishi at Weekend Garage, Emu mentioned how excited she is to be together with her siblings and Nene is going to see a play with her parents. He couldn't join activities in which his name was not even included from the beginning, but he was already used to this loneliness that happened every December.
Maybe this is the moment to be able to finish writing the lyrics of that song that Akito made, according to Akiyama's acquaintance from that music group, the lyrics didn't look bad at the moment, it's not like he'll doubt his pen, but having the opinion of others helped his development as a lyricist, or maybe he could have brainstormed ideas for the next show at work, after the positive acceptance of the previous show he wants to do a better one.
Performing at live houses and doing shows at Phoenix Wonderland, this year has been busy for Tsukasa, but he doesn't feel tired, both are the two goals that he wants to achieve and it drives him to try harder in any area, also he cannot force himself to falter, a star can handle any challenge that comes on his way, and much better than doing it with the people he fully trust. Maybe why this year that feeling of loneliness returned, being with Akito and the others made him forget what it was like to be alone. He is the oldest of his team, but now he feels so pathetic.
Pathetic? Wait, he can't feel like that, he's a star, someone who shines with confidence and lights up his surroundings just by being present, someone who reassures his teammates that he will have their backs no matter what happens!
Then why he feels like everyone has left him?
"AGH, GET YOURSELF TOGETHER, TENMA!" He messes up his hair to prevent negative thoughts from staying in his mind.
Helooks at the time, 10:45 Pm, good! It only takes less than two hours for this day to end, then he can go to sleep and wait for the next day for his family to arrive and everything is back to normal! He just has to wait, wait alone, like he always has.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone.
No! Not those thoughts again, he's fine, he is completely, everything is fine."It's all alright." says while hiding his face with his knees, why is he doing it anyway? No one is going to see that humiliating state, after all, he is alo-
"Tsukasa-senpai, open the door, I know you're there!"
Eh? What is Akito doing knocking on his door? Has he been there a long time? No, it must be a mistake, Akito said that he would be with his family, why does he come to this lonely house?
"Tsukasa-senpai, I'm freezing! Everyone in the neighborhood is starting to look at us, do something before Li'l bro breaks down your door!"
Akiyama? But, but- isn't their game supposed to be more important? Why do they come to see this pathetic star?
"Tsukasa-san, are you there? sorry for coming unexpectedly, but what Mizuki-chan said is true, Shinonome-kun is about to break down your door."
Azusawa too? Family is important on this day, then why? Why do they leave the others and come for him?
He is not as important as their families, why his teammates are outside of his house? He is supposed to be happy, right? Why with each step he takes, he feels more nervous. The less the expectation, the less the disappointment, it is what he repeated, his teammates aren't here, everything was created by his mind, it's logical. The moment he opens his door he will find... Akito in a position to break his door?
"You finally open the door." The ginger changes his position to a calmer one, keeping one hand in his pants pocket and the other busy with a bag.
"Hey, what are you doing here?" Tenma asks, while pinching his thigh to know if he is awake or not, an action that went unnoticed by Kohane and Mizuki, but not by Akito.
"What do you think we're doing here?" Shinonome tilted his head as if the reason for their visit wasn't obvious. "It's almost new year."Without giving him a chance to answer, Akito enters Tsukasa's house, leaving him and his other teammates at the door.
"Huh?"
"Saki-chan asked me to look after you since she's spending new year's day with her bandmates," Kohane said while showing the bags in her and Mizuki's hands. "I was originally thinking to just look how were you doing, but after talking with Mizuki-chan we thought that we should spend new year just like your sister!"
"And your father it's fine with it?" Tsukasa knows how protective Kohane's father is, that he was surprised to see how the girl nodded with a big smile. "So that's why the three of you are here..."
"That was the plan, but Li'l bro didn't know everything!" Akiyama crosses their arms while pouting."We send him some messages but it seems that he didn't see them."
Azusawa giggles as she remembers the confused look on Akito's face when they ran into him on the way to the Tenma Household.
"He came here without even thinking twice, you got a good boy friend!" Mizuki rushes in, followed by Kohane, both of them not seeing the expression on tenma's face.
"Akiyama!" Tsukasa's ears warmed in embarrassment, the feeling of being teased is not fun to him.
"Anyways, we brought some snacks for our own new year's party!" Azusawa turns to look at Tsukasa and the blonde grabs the bags as he thanks them.
"But before that, Senpai, can you lend me your laptop for a moment? I wanted to show Kohane-chan the game that we play!"
"Sure, just let me-" Before Tsukasa could finish, Mizuki grabbed Kohane's hand and led her to the room where the older's laptop was, and also his cat, who was probably already sleeping. "Tsuki is sleeping try to not make any noise that can wake her up!"
Tsukasa sighed and unconsciously began to smile, which later turned into a frown due to the presence of his teammates. Family is supposed to be important, right? Why would they leave their families for him?He walked to the kitchen and began to put snacks on the shelves, cookies, chips, gummies, and various drinks that could easily be exchanged for a single large drink for the four of them. Mizuki must have been the one to take care of all.
After he finished putting everything away, he found a silent Akito sitting on the largest sofa, busy looking at whatever was on his cell phone and with the cushion that have the blonde's name on his lap.
"You're acting like this is your own house." Akito stops looking at his cell phone to look at Tsukasa, who sits next to him.
"I spend here more than in my house, I'm already a Tenma." He says with a confident smile, only to later realize that his words could be material for his senpai to tease him. "Don't get any weird thoughts! I'm still maintaining my last name!"
"Pft, I wasn't thinking anything weird." Tsukasa laughs, feeling discovered despite not thinking of teasing his junior for what he said.
"Also, my mom send you cake when she knew that I was coming here, I put it in the fridge."
"Thank you so much for your service, Tenma-san!" The blond clasped his hands in thanks, but the unserious tone in his voice made Shinonome annoyed.
"Tsukasa-senpai!" Akito begins to hit Tsukasa's arm while he laughs at the expression on the younger's face.
"Okay, okay, no need to hit my arm." Tsukasa rubbed his arm even though Akito's hits weren't painful. "Akiyama and Azusawa told me that they bump into you."
"Hmm? Ah, I saw the notification but didn't read the message. They told me about this new years party minutes before arriving."
"So you're here for your own." Tsukasa leans his body to put his head on Akito's shoulder
"Yup."
"Why?" He closes his eyes. What kind of face will Akito make? Sadness? Rejection? Pity? Tsukasa doesn't want to know.
"Eh?" He didn't expect that reaction. Akito sounded confused by Tsukasa's question and it was unexpected for Tsukasa to hear confusion in his partner. For this reason he decided to open his eyes and catch up with Akito to be able to face him.
"You had plans for today, and so did Azusawa and Akiyama, why are you here instead of being your family?" On the outside he looked determinated, but on the inside Tsukasa was nervious, sometimes Akito could be harsh with his words (not that it affected him) but right now anything could destroy Tenma.
"Senpai..." Shinonome was stunned by the despair visible in his senpai's eyes. "I know you for a long time and I know every new years day you always are gloomy about it."
Tsukasa wanted to counter, but the words didn't come out of his mouth, Akito took this as a signal to continue.
"Every time I ask you about how you will spend new years day, you always half smile and change the conversation." He sighs and with his hand he takes Tenma's chin to bring their eyes closer. "I hate that look in your eyes, every day of the year you have that dumb smile but on the last day of the year you decide to eat your words and stay behind."
Akito remembers every moment, from his first year of middle school until now, which has been the time with his partner, he knows perfectly well how Tsukasa acts on december 31, how he rushes him to be with his family and the way he smiles every time whe said 'I'll see you tomorrow, happy new year'.
"You spent this day alone for many years, I don't think I'll ever do that." The ginger hugs the blond, thinking about spending this day without his parents and even Ena was difficult and Tsukasa has done that since who knows when, Akito doesn't want to know that, it would be more painful if he finds out that the same blond who smiles after each performance is the same who has a desperate look for the end of the year since long before they met.
"Akito..." Tsukasa was speechless, He couldn't reciproctae the hug, hearing Akito say that, he felt his heart lighten.
"And it pisses me off that you act like you don't care, but it hurts you being alone. My parents wouldn't mind having you for new year and your parents neither would complain and-" Shinonome stopped when he felt his shoulder start to get wet and got worried when he saw Tenma's face. "W-wait, I didn't mean to make you cry."
"Am I crying?" Tsukasa didn't realize that he had tears running down his face. "Ah, crap!"
"Senpai, look at me." Akito asked when he noticed that Tsukasa got up from the sofa and began to wipe away the tears.
"No! Right now, I'm not looking like a star, I have to!" Tsukasa tried to go up the stairs to go to the bathroom but Akito stopped him by grabbing his wrist.
"Look at me." Akito tightened his grip a bit so Tsukasa couldn't escape and Tsukasa feels completely humiliated that Akito was seeing a facet that he wanted to avoid everyone seeing.
Little by little, Akito got closer, to be at a distance where his two hands could be intertwined with Tsukasa's.
"I want to spend every day of the year, including this one. I can't let my partner end his year in a shitty way." Wiping away his tears, Akito smiled at Tsukasa. "From now on, let's have a new years party, just us, 'kay?"
Tsukasa didn't have time to respond due to the sound of a door opening loudly, accompanied by footsteps and how quickly his cat appeared coming down the stairs. God, Mizuki and Kohane are so fast that they noticed his red eyes and Akito's hands in his face.
"TSUKASA-SENPAI! HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO RANK SO HIGH ON THE EVE- Wait, are you crying? Li'l bro what did you do to him?" Mizuki bolted down the stairs and pushed Akito not hard but enough to separate him from Tsukasa.
"Hah? I didn't do anything and control your volume, Tsuki it's now awake for your fault." With one hand he covered his ear and with the other he pointed to the cat that was now lying under the sofa.
"Now, you two, it's the last day of the year, maybe we can start it with the right side!" Kohane, as always, put herself in the middle of the two to be the intermediary for their last fight of the year.
"With him? I think we're already starting on the wrong foot" Mizuki stuck out their tongue to make Akito angry.
"Are you saying this cause you didn't rank very well compare to senpai?" Akito smirked, knowing that he hit a low point for Akiyama.
"You did not!" Before Mizuki could launch to attack Akito, Kohane got in front of her partner so the fight wouldn't get bigger.
The scene of Akito making fun of Mizuki, Kohane trying the prevent the pink haired from attacking the ginger and Mizuki moving their hands as if were claws, made the feeling of loneliness in Tsukasa disappear, thus bringing a laugh that for Akito was like a beautiful sound.
"Let's have a great year!"