Chapter Text
The scene opens on a dock. Behind the dock is a lake and the great wide wilderness.
“Yo!” says a man popping up to the camera, “We’re coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka Ontario! I’m your host, Chris McLean, dropping Season One of the hottest new Reality Show on Television, right now!”
Chris begins walking down the dock, “Here’s the deal,” he said, “22 campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp. They’ll compete in challenges against each other, then have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Boat of Losers, and leave Total Drama Island for good.”
Cut to a campfire area, where Chris resumed talking, “Their fates will be decided here, at the Dramatic Campfire Ceremony, where after each challenge, all but one camper on the losing team will receive a marshmallow.”, he said before eating one and tossing away a fire poker.
“In the end, only one Camper will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame, and a small fortune of $100,000, which lets face it, they’ll probably blow in a week. To survive, they’ll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and each other. Every moment will be caught on one of the hundred of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will win? And who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here, right now, on Total! Drama! Island!”
-Theme song- (If you’re wondering it wouldn’t be any different from the original)
Cut back to Chris on the dock, “Welcome back to Total Drama Island. Alright, it’s time to meet our 22 campers. We told them they’d all be staying at this five star resort, so if they seem a little ticked off, that’s probably why.”
Cut to a boat driving away, with a short girl with braces and a side ponytail now standing on the dock.
“Beth, what’s up?” Chris asked as she ran over and hugged him.
“It’s so incredulous to meet you! Wow, you’re much shorter in real life.” she said before waving to the camera.
“Uhhh… thanks.” Chris replies.
Cut to another boat driving away, where a man with a beard and green shirt is now standing on the dock with his luggage.
“DJ!” Chris said as he walked up to him.
“Yo, Chris McLean! How’s it going?” DJ asked, “Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where’s the hot tub at?”
“Yo dawg, this is it! Camp Wawanakwa!” Chris replied as DJ walks to the end of the dock.
“Hmm, looked a lot different on the application form.” DJ mumbled to himself.
Cut to a goth girl in black and blue now standing on the pier with her luggage.
“Hey, Gwen.” Chris says.
Gwen looked around, “You mean we’re staying here!?” she asked.
“No, you’re staying here.” Chris replied, “My crib is an airstream with AC, thatta way.”
“I did not sign up for this!” Gwen said angrily.
“Actually, you did.” Chris said while holding up her contract. Gwen in response tore it up and dropped the pieces into the lake.
“The great thing about lawyers is, they make lots of copies.” Chris said as he pulled out another copy of the contract.
“I am not staying here.” Gwen said as she picked up her bags.
“Cool, I hope you can swim though.” cut to Gwen’s boat driving away, “‘Cuz your ride just left.”
“Jerk.”
Cut to another boat pulling up, with a man in a cowboy hat and pink shirt dancing atop it, before flipping off and having his luggage tossed to him.
“Chris McLean! Sup, man! It’s an honor to meet you, man!” he said.
“The Geoff-ster! Welcome to the Island, man!” Chris replied.
“Thanks, man.” Geoff said before walking to join the other three contestants.
“If they say man one more time, I’m gonna puke.” Gwen said bitterly to DJ and Beth.
Cut to another boat driving away, leaving a blonde woman in a brown tank top and blue bandanna on the dock.
“Everybody, this is Lindsay.” Chris stated as the camera pans up on her. “Not too shabby.”
“Hi! Okay, you look so familiar.” Lindsay said.
“I’m Chris McLean.” he responded, but Lindsay still looks confused, “The host? Of the show? That you’re on?”
“Oh that’s where I know you from!” she responded.
“Uhhh… yeah.”
Cut to another boat driving away as a woman with black hair and a red crop top steps onto the dock. She took off her sunglasses and glares at the camera.
“Heather.” Chris said as she walked past him.
Beth rushed up to her and said, “Hi! Looks like we’re your new friends for the next eight weeks!”, accidentally getting spittle on her, causing Heather to flinch back in disgust.
Everyone heard punk rock music in the distance as another boat drove up to the shore, carrying a man with a green Mohawk, skull shirt, and several face piercings.
“Duncan! Dude!” Chris said as he hopped off the boat.
“I don’t like surprises, McLean.” Duncan said while making a fist.
“Yeah, your parole officer warned me about that, man. He also told me to give him a holler anytime and have you returned to juvie.”
“Tch, okay then.” Duncan said as he walks down the dock and passes by Heather, “Meet ya by the campfire, gorgeous.”
“Drop dead, you skeez,” she replied.
Heather walked towards the end of the dock and said, “I’m calling my parents, you cannot make me stay here.” Chris just pulled up another contract at this statement.
A boat’s horns went off as it passed by, with a man in a red tracksuit and headband waterskiing behind it.
“Ladies and gentlemen, Tyler!” Chris said. Tyler waved, but in doing so fell off of his waterskis and rolled toward the docks, before hitting them and getting launched in the air, landing in the pile of luggage with an “Ow!”, as everyone looked on. One of the bags from the pile went flying into the water and splashed Heather.
“Uugghh! My shoes!” she said.
“Wicked wipeout man!” Chris yelled to Tyler. Tyler stuck his hand out and gives everyone a thumbs up at this.
Chris laughed at Tyler’s wipeout while another boat pulled up and dropped off a man with red hair and glasses, who sighed.
“Welcome to camp, Harold.” Chris said. Harold looked around.
“What’s he looking at?” Beth asked DJ.
“So you mean this show is at a crappy summer camp and not on some big stage or something?” Harold asked Chris.
“You got it, man.” he responded.
“Yes!”, Harold said, “That is so much more favorable to my mad skills!” Chris flinched back as Harold walked past.
“Contestant number ten is Trent!”, Chris said as a man with a green shirt and a guitar case stepped onto the dock.
“Hey, good to meet you man. Saw you on that figure skating show, nice work.” Trent said while fist-bumping Chris.
“Hey thanks man, I knew I rocked that show!” Chris responded.
“I saw that!” Beth said, “One of the guys, Jacques, dropped his partner Josee on her head! So they got immunity that week.”
“Lucky!” Harold responded, “I hope I get dropped on my head.”
“Me too!” Lindsay said.
“So, this is it?” Trent asked Chris, as he looked at the other contestants, “…Alrighty then.”
Trent walked over and stood next to Gwen, and gave her smile. Though initially hesitant, she smiled back.
Cut to another boat, as a blonde girl with a surfboard and a blue hoodie stepped off, “Hey, what’s up?”, she asked.
“Alright, looks like Bridgette is here.” Chris said.
“Tch, nice board.”, Duncan said to her, “This isn’t Malibu, honey.”
“I thought we were gonna be on a beach?” She responded.
“We are!” Chris said, as the camera cut to a small beach covered in trash, complete with a Seagull with trash around its neck.
“…great.” she responded.
“Alright, that makes eleven!” Chris said as Bridgette bent down to pick up her bag, causing her board to hit Chris in the head, “Ow! Darn it! That hurts!”
“Hey guys.” Bridgette said as she passed Duncan, Geoff, Harold, and Trent.
“Hey, I’m Geoff!” the fellow surfer said as she passes him, causing her to turn around and almost hit the other guys on the head.
“What’s up?”, she asked.
“Dang, watch the board man!” Harold said.
“Hi! I’m Beth!” she said to Bridgette, causing her to turn around and almost hit everyone again.
“Hey.”
“Okay, we’ve all met surfer girl, can we get on with the show please?” Heather said while drying her hair.
“Looks like someone missed their cappuccino this morning.” Duncan said to her.
“Get bent.”
Another boat drove away as a man in a red and blue shirt and brown hair stepped off and walked towards Chris, “Our next campers is Noah.” he said.
“You got my memo about my life threatening allergies?” Noah asked Chris as he walked by.
“I’m sure someone did.”
“Good, is this where we’re staying?”
“No, it’s your mother’s house. And we’re throwing a party.” Duncan said while cracking his knuckles.
“Cute. Nice piercings original, do them yourself?” he asked sarcastically.
“Yeah, you want one!?” he replied while grabbing Noah’s bottom lip and pulling out a needle.
“No thanks, can I have my lip back please?” Noah said as Duncan lets go, “Thanks.”
Cut to another boat with a woman with a black ponytail and a shirt with cumquats on it.
“What’s up y’all, Leshawna’s in the house!” she said, while Harold gasped at seeing her.
“Yo, baby! Hey, how’s it going?” she said to Chris while high-fiving him, “Feel free to quit now and save yourself the trouble, ‘cause I came to win!”
Harold looked over to her and said, “I’ve never seen a girl like you in real life before.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re real big. And loud.”
“What did you say to me!? Oh no you didn’t! You have not seen anything yet! I’ll show you big, baby!” she said while walking over to Harold before DJ and Bridgette hold her back while Harold did random karate motions, “Oh yeah, you want some of this? Well c’mon, then!”
“Alright campers, settle down!” Chris yelled to them. Leshawna walks away while Harold gives her a smile, showing that he meant what he said as a compliment.
Another boat drove off as two women stepped onto the dock, both wearing a black and white tank top and pink shorts.
“Katie. Sadie. Welcome to your new home for eight weeks.” Chris said to them as the camera focused on the nearby cabins.
“Oh my gosh, Sadie look! It’s a summer camp!” Katie said while pointing to the cabins.
“Okay, I always wanted to go to summer camp! Eeeee!” Sadie replied as the duo took their places amongst the other campers.
Another boat drove by, and a man with a toque and green hoodie stepped off.
“Ezekiel! What’s up, man?” Chris asked him.
Ezekiel looked up and said, “I think I see a bird.”, which Trent laughed at.
“Okay, look dude.”, Chris said while putting a hand on Ezekiel’s shoulder, “I know you don’t get out much. Been homeschooled your whole life, raised by freaky prairie people, just don’t say much and try not to get kicked off too early, okay?”
“Yes, sir!” Ezekiel replied while walking over to the other contestants.
“That’s just… wow.” Gwen said in response.
Another boat drove by and a short guy with brown hair and a green and red striped shirt stepped onto the dock.
“Cody! The Codester! The Codemeister!” Chris said while high-fiving him.
“Dude, psyched to be here man.” Cody said while walking down the dock, “I see the ladies have already arrived! Alright!”
He tried to say something to Leshawna, but he shushed him and said, “Save it, short stuff.”
The next boat drove off and a strong woman with a black ponytail steps off.
“Eva. Nice. Glad you could make it.” Chris said as she walked by. Cody tried to give Eva a high five, but was ignored as her bag was dropped onto his foot.
“Ow!”, he said while grabbing his foot, “What’s in there? Dumbbells?”
“Yes.” she responded.
“She’s all yours, man.” Duncan said to DJ.
As the next boat drove off, a man with blonde hair and a shirt with a maple leaf hopped onto the dock.
“Woohoo! Chris! What’s happening!?” he said before laughing, “This is awesome! Waaaa-hoo!”
“Owen! Welcome!” Chris responded.
Owen picked up Chris and hugs him, “Awesome to be here, man! Yeah! Man, this is just so….”
“Awesome?” Gwen sarcastically said.
“Yes! Awesome! Woooo! Are you gonna be on my team?” Owen asked.
“Oh, I sure hope so.” Gwen sarcastically responded.
“Woooo!”
“You about finished?” Chris asked Owen as he put him down.
“Sorry dude, I’m just so psyched!”
“Cool.” Chris responded, “And here comes Courtney!”
A boat drove up with a woman with brown hair with a grey shirt, who then waved and stepped off the boat.
“Hi! You must be the other contestants, it’s really nice to meet you all.” Courtney said to everyone.
Owen reached over and shook her hand, “How’s it going!? I’m Owen!”
“Nice to meet you, Oooooo-wow.” she said before looking behind her and seeing the next boat.
On this boat was a man with black hair and a green shirt. Almost all the contestants looked at him in either awe or attraction.
“This is Justin. Welcome to Total Drama Island.”, Chris said before fist-bumping him.
“Thanks Chris, this is great.” Justin responded.
“Just so you know, we picked you based entirely on your looks.”
“I can live with that.” He said as he walked over to the other contestants.
“I like your pants!” Owen said.
“Thanks man.” Justin responded.
“Cause they look like they’re all worn out!”, he said before laughing, “Did you buy them like that?”
“Uhh, no, just had them for awhile.” Justin responded.
“Oh. Cool!” Owen said before face palming, “Stupid!”
“Hey everyone, Izzy’s here!” Chris said as the final boat pulled up.
On it was a woman with orange hair and clothes made of leaves and vines, or at least the appear that way.
“Hi Chris! Hi! Hi-woah!” she said as she accidentally tripped off the boat and hit her head on the dock, and fell into the lake.
“Ooh, that was bad….” Tyler said before chuckling.
Courtney ran to the end of the dock and reached her hand into the lake to help her out, “Guys! She could be seriously hurt!”
Upon being pulled out, Izzy shook herself dry like a dog.
“That felt… so… good!”, she yelled, “Except for hitting my chin. This is summer camp! That is so cool! Do you have paper mache here? Are we having lunch soon!?”
“That is a good call!” Owen yelled.
“First things first,” Chris said, “We need a group photo for the promos. Everyone, on the end of the dock!”
The remaining contestants walked over to join Izzy and Courtney as Chris hopped onto her boat with a camera.
“Okay, one, two, three…” Chris said before, “Oops, wait. Forgot the lens cap. Okay, hold that pose… one… two… oh! No wait, card’s full. Hang on.”
“C’mon man, my face is starting to freeze.” Leshawna said.
“Got it! Okay, everyone say Wawanakwa!”
“Wawanakwa!” the contestants all yelled out.
Chris managed to take the photo, but just after, the dock collapsed due to the combined weight, and everyone ended up in the water.
“Okay guys, dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten.” Chris said to the contestants.
Cut to all the campers at the campfire pit, where Chris said, “This is Camp Wawankawa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends, ya dig?” At this, Harold smiled at Duncan, only for Duncan to hold up a fist at him.
“The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off,” Chris continued, “will win $100,000!”
“S’cuse me, what will the sleeping arrangements be? Because I’d like to request a bunk under her.”, Duncan said while pointing at Heather.
“They’re not co-ed, are they?” Heather asked, concerned.
“No.” Chris responded, “Girls get one side of each cabin, and dudes get the other.”
“Excuse me, Kyle?” Lindsay asked, “Can I have a cabin with a lakeview since I’m the prettiest?”
“Okay you are,” Chris responded, “But that’s not really how it works here. And also, it’s Chris.”
“I have to live with Sadie, or I’ll die!” Katie said.
“And I’ll break out in hives! It’s true!” Sadie said.
“This cannot be happening….” Gwen said, only for her and Tyler to be pulled into a big hug by Owen.
“C’mon, guys! It’ll be fun!” Owen told them, “It’s like a big sleepover!”
“As least you don’t have to sleep near him.” Tyler told Gwen while pointing towards Duncan, who somehow had a deer in a headlock.
“Here’s the deal.” Chris said, “We’re gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name out, go stand over there. Gwen, Trent, Heather, Cody, Lindsay, Tyler, Izzy, Owen, Leshawna, Justin, and Noah.”
The eleven campers called all went to stand together.
“From this moment on, you are officially know as the Screaming Gophers!” Chris said as he tosses their team banner to Owen.
“Yeah! I’m a gopher! Woo!” Owen says.
“The rest of you, over here.” Chris said, “Geoff, Bridgette, DJ, Beth, Sadie, Katie, Courtney, Ezekiel, Duncan, Eva, and Harold. Move, move! You guys will officially be known as the Killer Bass!”
Chris tossed a banner with their logo to Harold, who said “That’s awesome! It’s like… amazing!”
“Alright campers, you and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition.” Chris said.
—Confessional: Chris—
“You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries anytime you want. Let the audience at home know what you’re really thinking. Or just get something off your chest.”
—Confessional: Gwen—
“Ummm, okay… so far this sucks.”
–Confessional: Lindsay—
“I don’t get it, where’s the camera guy?” she said while facing the wrong way.
—Confessional: Tyler—
“Alright! Psyched to be here! I think I’ve got a good shot at winning this!”
—Confessional: Owen—
“Hey everyone, check this out. I have something very important to say.” He then farted and chuckled into the camera.
“Alright, any questions? Cool.” Chris said, “Now go find your cabins. Gophers you’re in the east cabin, Bass you’re in the west.”
Cut to the girl’s side of the Gopher cabin.
“Bunk beds? Isn’t that little summer camp-y?” Heather asked.
“That’s the idea, genius.” Gwen responded.
“Uugghh, shut up weird goth girl.”
Cody walked up to Gwen and said, “You’re so smart. I feel that.”
“Shouldn’t you be on the boys side?” she responded. Cody just smiled awkwardly at that.
Cody is then thrown out of the cabin and got a mouthful of dirt.
“Where are the outlets? I have to plug in my straightening iron.” Lindsay asked Chris.
“There are some in the communal bathrooms. Just across the way.” Chris responded.
“Communal bathrooms? But I’m not Catholic.”
“Not communion, communal.”
“It means we shower together.” Gwen told Lindsay, “Idiot.”
“Awww, no! C’mon!” Lindsay cried out, drawing the attention of Trent, Noah, and Owen from the guys side of the cabin.
“I’m glad we’re in our own cabin with just guys, y’know what I mean?” Owen asked Trent and Noah. The two just stared at him as they walked back inside.
“I mean no! I didn’t mean it like that! I loooove chics! I just don’t wanna sleep near them! Uhh, I mean-!” he said as he ran back inside.
“Excuse me, Chris?” Geoff asked, “Is there a chaperone of any kind I’m this facility?”
“You’re all sixteen years old.” Chris responds, “As old as a counselor in training at a regular summer camp. So other than myself, the TV crew, and our Chef, you’ll be unsupervised. You’ve got a half an hour to unpack and meet me at the main lodge. Staring now.”
“Nice.” Geoff responded.
Suddenly, everyone hears Lindsay scream and the other twenty one campers went to see what’s going on.
“Man, that white girl can scream.” Leshawna said as they all look through the door.
“What is it!? Kill it!” Lindsay yelled out as she saw a cockroach on the floor.
DJ and Beth screamed at the sight of it as well and jumped onto the nearest bunk, breaking it.
“That… was my bed.” Gwen said.
Everyone else started running around trying to either step on it or avoid it, Tyler somehow falling over in the process. As the cockroach ran towards the door, Duncan walked in holding a hatchet, and chopped the bug in half.
“Well, that’s one way to kill a cockroach.” Gwen said.
“Awesome.” Harold added.
“Sure, because that wasn’t overkill.” Noah added.
Tyler then leaned over to Lindsay and told her, “If you ever see one of those again, just let me know, okay? Cause, y’know, I could do that too.” and the two began looking at each other lovingly.
“Tch, they always go for the jocks.” Duncan said.
Cut to the main lodge, where Chef Hatchet began talking to the Campers. “Listen up! I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your food, and sit your butts down!”
“Excuse me, will we be getting all the major food groups?” Beth asked as Chef put a sloppy Joe onto her tray.
“Yeah, ‘cause I get hypoglycemic real bad, if I don’t get enough sugar.” Harold added.
“You’ll get a whole lot of SHUT THE HECK UP!” Chef yelled.
“Have a cow.” Owen said, causing Noah to snicker.
“What was that!?” Chef yelled, “Come closer fat boy, I didn’t hear you!”
“Uhh, I didn’t really say anything important.” Owen replied nervously.
“I’m sure you didn’t.” Chef said before turning his attention to Noah, “You. Scrawny kid. Gimme your plate.” he said before adding a second sloppy Joe to his tray.
“Huh.” was all Noah said as he went to take his seat.
“Oh, what’s up, girl?” Leshawna said to Eva, who said nothing in response. “Oh, it’s gonna be like that, is it!?”
“Next!” Chef yelled.
“Excuse me, my nutritionist says I shouldn’t eat any white sugar, white flour, or like… dairy.” Lindsay said.
“I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.” Gwen said while looking at her tray.
“Cool!” Lindsay replied before taking her seat.
“Okay, I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think mine just moved.” Gwen said.
Upon hearing this, Chef smashed her sloppy Joe with a meat tenderizer, getting some of it on Gwen’s face.
“Right! Okay then!” Gwen said before taking her seat.
After everyone took their seat, Chris walked in and said, “Welcome to the main lodge!”
“Yo, Chris, can we order a pizza or something?” Geoff asked before Chef threw a meat cleaver past him that landed in the wall, “Woah! It’s cool, man! Brown slop is cool! Heh, right guys?”
Everyone else either nodded worriedly or hid under the table.
“Your first challenge begins in one hour!” Chris said before leaving the lodge.
“What do you think they’ll make us do?” Katie asked DJ worriedly.
“It’s our first challenge, how hard can it be?” DJ responded.
Cut to all the campers atop the highest cliff on the island looking down.
“Oh sh*t.” DJ said.