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Sans has lived a long time through Resets. The first time it happened, he thought it was a dream— after all, they’d broken the barrier, right? They were on the Surface now.
That hope lasted just long enough to shatter as he watched Papyrus’ dust scatter in the wind, his red scarf laying like blood in the snow. He hasn’t forgiven himself for that one, even if Papyrus would. He can’t.
Nobody else remembers the Resets except the Human. That almost makes it worse when the Human finally kills him. Their eyes are flat and blank, glittering red with the LOVE they gained the first time they slide their knife through his ribs, like they always are when they clash in the Judgement Hall.
It’s been hundreds of Resets since that first Pacifist run, all different, but always with at least one casualty. The worst ones are the timelines where Papyrus dies, as selfish as that makes Sans feel. It feels like tearing open a poorly stitched up wound each time he has to scatter his dust.
This Reset, the Human killed everyone again. Dust fills the air, clings to his clothes, sticks to the knife in the Human’s fist as they swipe it mercilessly at him.
He just wants it to stop. He wants to see his brother and not know what he’s going to say by heart when it matters most. Wants to stop remembering every day that his life is just a game for the Human to mess with. Wants to see the sun again and know that it’s the last time he’ll ever be in the Underground.
Mostly, he just wants to close his eyes and rest .
The next swipe of the Human’s knife grazes his neck, tearing into a decimal of his health, and he’s tempted to laugh. Maybe he would, if he had the energy for it. He’s already using all of it to dodge and fire more blasters.
He knows in his bones that his limit is almost within reach. His stamina has gotten much better since the Resets began, a blessing hiding a curse. He’s never truly beaten the Human before, not without a Load or a Reset bringing them right back, no time to savor his victory.
He’s so tired .
The Human makes another arcing swipe at him, and he’s not fast enough to dodge. The knife skids across his ribs and gets stuck, lodged underneath his Soul.
It hurts (it always hurts, almost as much as— the hope Papyrus shows each time he tries to hug the Human, only to turn into a pile of dust, the Human slicing through the vertebrae of his neck despite the fact that their knife is plastic—), but it’s nothing he hasn’t felt before.
He finds himself laughing, but he doesn’t recognize his own voice. He hates that the Human is the only one alive to hear it.
Sans has never broken the script before, but if he has to go through another empty Reset, read his lines with the same inflection, shake the Human’s hand one more time and pretend they haven’t killed everyone he ever loved — well.
He might just go insane. His Soul could crack under the pressure, just like Gaster‘s crazy theories. Sans knows from experience that the Reset damage is permanent in the way Papyrus rubs at his cervical spine reflexively the day of a Reset, in how Toriel makes the first knock knock joke with a strained laugh, and the way his own ribs ache when he remembers the human’s knife lodged in his chest, just like it is now.
Coughing up dust, Sans pulls the knife out of his chest. He stands taller, takes out his last bottle of ketchup, and downs it in a few gulps. It doesn’t heal him, but he feels better anyway.
The Human is staring at him, frozen. Shock, maybe. Sans can’t muster the emotion to care.
He closes his eyes, sighing deep enough to rattle his bones. And then he takes a breath to speak. “…heh. you got me again, huh?”
There’s so many things he could say now that he’s broken the script, but there’s only one thing on his mind, even as his ribs start flaking dust, red marrow staining his hoodie a muddy purple. “was it worth it, what you’re doing? resetting, stringing everyone along, killing my bro—“
Sans coughs, wiping marrow off his teeth and onto his sleeve. He opens his eyes, but his vision is too unfocused to see anything clearly. That’s okay. He’s almost done, anyway.
“i just want to see the sun again, whoever you are. i want to get papyrus the car he’s always dreamed of getting. i want to watch undyne and alphys get married on the surface… i want to be happy. let us have our happy ending.”
His whole body is flaking dust now, but he can finally see Papyrus again. He looks heartbroken, as he always does. It’s the only time he truly remembers the Resets, the only time Sans spends with him and feels truly happy.
Funny that they both have to die for that to happen.
Sans smiles bitterly, tipping his face towards the light coming from the windows surrounding them, pretending that it’s the sun instead of the CORE even as cold sinks into his bones. “well, it’s time i get going, i guess. papyrus is waiting for me.”
As his body dusts, Sans manages to walk over to where Papyrus stands, arms stretched out and ready to catch him. His smile softens, because there’s nothing else he can do when Papyrus hugs him so gently, treating him like blown glass even when they’re both already dead.
He doesn’t look back.
———————
>SAVE <<
>LOAD
>RESET
…
>SAVE
>LOAD <<
>RESET
…
>SAVE
>LOAD
>RESET <<
…
>>RESET<<