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We open on Spider-Man, answering his phone as he swings through the Centium City skyline. “Mr. Hogan, I can’t really talk right now.”
“Why didn’t you answer your suit phone?” Happy Hogan asks.
“Because - and don’t be mad - I forgot the Iron Spider suit.”
Happy is fuming. “You— you forgot?! I thought you went to one of those schools for smart kids.”
“This one serves me just fine. It works as well as it did before I met you and Tony.”
“Kid, if you get killed out there, your aunt is going to blame me.”
“Well, tell her that won’t happen. I have the best team—”
He is interrupted when Skylar Storm zaps his phone out of his hand. “No texting while swinging.”
“Hey, I was using that.”
“I gotchu, Spider-Man,” Kaz says, and dives down after the phone.
A few seconds pass. “He’s not great at landings. Bree, can you—”
“On it,” Bree Davenport says, and retrieves Kaz and the phone, holding the former by his suit collar.
“Okay, you can let go now,” Kaz says.
They arrive at their destination, a building with a gravel roof, where the Maddens are attempting to abscond. “Oh, no, you don’t,” Spider-Man says. He tries to web Kraniac, who steps out of the way, causing him to slip.
Bree helps him up. “You’ve got something on your face there, Spider-Man.”
“Yeah,” he says, removing rocks from his face. “Vengeance.”
“That’s adorable.”
Meanwhile, Kaz engages Chaos. “Oh, great. Someone my age. I bet I can take him.” Chaos punches him. “Nope.”
“I thought this would be more fun,” Chaos says.
“Oh, you want fun?” Oliver sends a rush of water at him. “How’s that for fun?”
“Hey, you mastered your waterbending powers,” Kaz says.
Just then, Oliver gets zapped in the back. “You know what they say about water and electricity,” Surge says.
“Two can play at that game.” Ampere zaps Surge.
“Jordan! Took you long enough,” Kaz says.
“It’s Ampere. How many times have we been over this?”
“Sorry we don’t have flight or superspeed like the rest of you,” Chase Davenport says.
Skylar takes a break from beating the daylights out of Havoc and walks over to them. Spider-Man and Bree do the same. “So what’s the play here?” the pink-tinted heroine asks.
“Kraniac has a prototype for a dimensional portal device. We can’t let him leave with it.”
“Copy that,” Bree says.
As she heads for Kraniac, Skylar is stopped by Havoc. “Back for more, are you? Time to bring the heat.” As she prepares one of her sonic blasts, Skylar laser-blasts Havoc, tinging her suit and hair.
After tripping up Surge by webbing her legs together, Spider-Man shoots a web in front of Kraniac, causing him to turn around. “You’re not going anywhere, Kraniac.”
“Maybe not,” Kraniac says, “but you are.” He activates the prototype, and steps out of the way as the hero from Queens tries to web him. Just as Spider-Man is about to go into the portal, Bree pushes him out of the way. The portal closes.
“What did you do?”
“First rule of science: take out the competition.” He opens the portal once again and disappears.
Surge looks around. “Honey?”
Kraniac appears beside her. “Sorry. My bad.”
We cut over to Skylar and Havoc, who is on the ground. “You just don’t know when to stop, do you?” Skylar says.
“I won’t … let you … win.” Havoc collapses.
“Man, you are really annoying,” Chaos says as he fights Kaz.
“Yeah, back at you, dude.”
Oliver punches Chaos in the arm, then sends another water blast at him, causing him to fall off of the building. “Is … is he dead?”
“No time. We’ve gotta go.” They fly off.
Skylar goes over to Chaos, who is hanging on for dear life. “Help! Don’t let me fall.” She helps him up. “Why would you do that?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do.”
We open on the Madden family couch. “Coming to The Capital Convention Center,” the TV spews, “it's the superhero event of the century! COLOSSA-CON! Where superheroes meet superfans!”
Amy chuckles sarcastically. “Who would even go to that?”
“I've gone the last five years!” Hartley says enthusiastically.
“You must be confused. He said ‘ColossaCon.’”
“We've got superhero cosplay,” the TV announcer continues, “superhero t-shirts, superhero snacks and did we mention... superheroes!”
“You did. You did mention superheroes.”
“And, for the first time ever, making her ColossaCon debut... Fresh off her victory over super villain Havoc, Skylar Storm!”
“What?!” This was Amy and Jake.
“That's right,” Skylar says on the screen, “I'm coming to my favorite state, Texas! Don't tell Arkansas!”
As the announcer explains that the entire Elite Force will be in attendance, Hartley is beside herself. “No way! Skylar Storm’s my favorite... person to hate because she's your nemesis.”
“Nice save,” Amy says. “I like where this is going. Why else do you hate her?”
“Uh, because she insulted Arkansas in a cute and endearing way. Oh, you know what? I can't say anything bad about her. She's perfect. I always wanted to meet her. One time I thought about strapping myself to a rocket just to see if she'd save me.”
“I'd like to strap myself to a rocket just to get out of this conversation.”
“It sounds like you have a crush on her,” Jake teases.
“I do not,” Hartley says. “I just like her powers, how she always does the right thing, the way she smells. I imagine it’s like fuchsia in summer. Shut up.” Jake chuckles.
“I know she's a superhero and you're a supervillain,” Hartley says, “but why do you hate her so much?”
“It's a long story. I don't want to get into it.”
Jake laughs. “Havoc and Skylar got into an epic battle. Guess who won?”
“Okay, fine. I might a kinda sorta lost to Skylar a little bit and now my fury over it consumes my entire existence. But, now, the worst part is the whole world knows because of this.”
“Wait,” Hartley says. “I thought Jake made that meme. Shouldn't you be mad at him?”
“I am mad at him. But he never would have been able to make the meme if Skylar hadn't done what she did.”
“That is true. You know, if not for her, I wouldn't have” — Jake looks at his phone — “A million likes? Including Hartley.”
“That was before I knew you,” she says sheepishly.
Jake and Hartley run into Amy in the school quad, but something’s off. She’s doing … chemistry? “Amy?” Jake says. “Are you actually doing homework?”
“And ruin my 1.0 GPA?” she replies. “No. I'm whipping up a little concoction to dump on Skylar’s head when she's on stage at ColossaCon.”
Jake notices that the “concoction” is a deep black. “Is that coal?!”
“No, that's Pepsi. This is coal. Wait. Other way around.” She chuckles.
“But that's Skylar’s one weakness!” Hartley says. “Any exposure to that stuff will make her cough lethal vapor on people.”
“I know! Think how funny it'll be when that happens in front of all her fans! She'll be humiliated forever!”
“That doesn't sound funny at all.”
“Yeah, well, you're not really the intended audience.”
“Amy,” Jake says, “you can't just roll up and get your revenge in front of a packed convention center.”
“‘Roll up’?” Hartley says. “Who are you, Chamillionaire?”
“Havoc can't,” she says, “but Amy can. Now that I'm just a normal girl, I can blend in with the rest of Skylar’s lame fans and embarrass her like she embarrassed me.”
“Wait, did you just call me lame?”
“Everyone except you.”
“Amy, by now, every villain knows that we're on the run,” Jake says, “which means there's a good chance that every superhero knows, too.”
“Yeah,” Hartley agrees. “Is it really worth risking everything just to get even? So what if there's a meme? It was just a joke.”
“It's not funny when I'm the punchline,” Amy says.
“I'm the punchline of all your jokes!” Jake points out.
“And that's what makes them funny. Look, when I was one of the world's most notorious supervillains, not everyone liked me, but no one thought I was a joke! If I don't get even I'll be stuck as a punchline.”
“Amy, you can’t go to ColossaCon.”
“Why not? I just finished saying—”
“Because now that I know your evil plan, I have to go and stop you. And I don’t wanna go.”
“Why not?”
“Kaz is gonna be there. He’s so annoying.”
“What’s annoying about him?” This was from Hartley.
“Just his face, his cavalier attitude. Even his name is stupid. ‘Kaz.’ It’s not even a real name.”
“Then it’s decided. I will go by myself.”
“No,” Amy says. “I’m going.”
“Ah, geez,” Jake says.
Jake, Amy, and Hartley arrive at ColossaCon. “Aw, you make a great Havoc,” Jake says.
“Thank you,” Hartley says. “It was the cheapest one I could find.”
“And you,” Amy says, “make a great Kaz.”
“Shut up,” comes the response.
Amy notices a pack of Skylars. “Cute costume. Did you all come in the same minivan?”
“Wait,” one of them says. “Where do you think you're going? You have to wear a costume to get in!”
“I don’t remember that being in the rules,” Hartley says.
“They tightened the security at these things after the incident in New Jersey last year. They won’t let you through.”
“Well, where am I supposed to find one of those?” The girl points to a display of Skylar Storm costumes. “Oh, no way! I am not wearing a Skylar Storm costume.”
“Then you are not getting in!”
Amy reluctantly puts the costume on. With her hair, she looks like the spitting image of the Calderan heroine. “Ew!”
“Stop pouting,” Hartley says, “you look cute. I mean, good. You look good.”
“See?” Jake is smug. “Told you you had a crush.” She glares at him.
“Wait. Where did Amy go?”
“Oh, no. She has a talent for wandering off. I’ve always told her that, if this villainy thing doesn’t work out, she would make a great vagabond.”
“We have to find her.”
“This is impossible,” Jake groans. “There are so many Skylars.”
Hartley combs through the mob and finds Amy. “No fair! You used your powers to run away from me.”
“What?” Amy says. “I don't have super speed.”
“Oh. Then I am really out of shape.”
“Hey,” Jake says, “look at those people in line. They're all dressed as Havoc.”
“I have fans?”
“Yeah! Talk about an ego boost.”
“Doesn't it make you wanna beat the rush and head on home?” Hartley asks.
“I had no idea there were any ‘Havoc Heads’ out there,” Amy says. “That's what I assume they call themselves. I thought the world was laughing at me. But seeing my fans here makes me realize I'm still respected. Worshiped even. Get in line, Hartley, bow down.”
“Or, instead,” Jake says, “how about we go home?”
Skylar — the real one — comes on stage. “Hello, ColossaCon.”
“It's Skylar!” Hartley cheers.
“Wait, why does her stage look like a rooftop?”
“Uh... Beats me.”
“She's recreating the meme! That's why those people are dressed like me! They're not my fans, they're making fun of me! Wait, is that why you're dressed like me?”
“No! I would never do that to you. Clearance bin. Remember?”
“She's charging people to recreate the meme that ruined my life? Time to put my plan in motion and get even. Come on, Hartley. It's go time.”
“I can’t let you do this,” Jake says. He punches Amy, who dumps a beaker of Pepsi all over him.
“Villain 101. Always have a decoy.”
“This is why I hate carbonated beverages.” Jake and Hartley push through the crowd to get to Skylar.
“Remember,” Skylar says, “you are an evil-doer who just ate rooftop. So let the defeat wash over you.” The fan adopts an “I just ate rooftop” pose.
From her perch on the scaffolding above Skylar, Amy chuckles. “I'm about to let the coal wash over you.”
“Oh, no!” Hartley says. “She's got the coal.”
“We have to stop her. I'll use my super-strength,” Jake says. “Cover me!”
Jake shakes the scaffolding. “Oh! Not good,” Amy says, “not good! Ahh!” She falls, right into Skylar’s arms.
“Wow. Looks like someone couldn't wait to meet me,” Skylar says.
“Skylar just saved her life!” one of the “Havoc Heads” exclaims.
“What, no!” Amy splutters. “That's not what happened.”
“Oh, don't feel embarrassed,” Skylar says. “You fell very gracefully. Have you been saved by a superhero before?”
Hartley looks like she’s about to burst. “Hey! Hi! Wow! It's you! You knew that. Thanks for saving my friend's life.”
“I would've been fine,” Amy says. “Spines heal.”
Hartley catches the beaker. “Oh, my! I caught the coal. I just saved Skylar Storm’s life.”
“Did you say coal?” Skylar says. “Wait, I know you.”
“No, you don’t,” Jake says. “We’re just loyal fans.”
“No.” She turns to Amy. “You’re Havoc. Which makes you Chaos.” She indicates Hartley. “You, I don’t know.”
“I’m Hartley. I’m a huge fan.”
“Well, Hartley, because of your friends here, my friend is trapped in another dimension.”
“Oh,” Jake says, “that would be my dad. I can tell you where the portal is, so you can save your friend.”
“That’s so nice of you.”
“Yeah,” Amy says, “why would you do that?”
“Because it’s the right thing to do,” Jake says. “And it’ll get me back home and out of this god-awful costume.”
“Oh, it’s better on you,” Hartley says to Skylar.
Amy prepares another sonic blast, but Skylar stops her. “Do you want me to kick your ass again? Yeah, your hero Kaz taught me that one. He also told me about a highway that sounds hotter than Caldera.”