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Fan’s Fantastic Harem

Summary:

Ever since he was young, Fan has always been the kind of person to quickly fall in love. Worked on a group project with a bunch of charismatic classmates? Briefly held eye contact with someone at the grocery store? It didn’t matter how small or insignificant the interaction was, nine times out of ten, it would leave his heart racing and his mind in complete disarray. Just his luck that Hotel OJ had to filled with so many attractive young eligible bachelors and bachelorettes. Will any of them manage be charmed by Fan’s awkward (yet endearing) personality, or will his quest to find true love end in tragic failure?

basically fans life becomes a dating sim lmao

Chapter 1: no style, no grace

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

‘Paintbrush really is the epitome of cool’, Fan thought to himself, while scrolling absentmindedly through some forum posts on his laptop.

 

The two had quite a turbulent relationship over the course of the show, constantly arguing and never being able to agree on things. But after season two and three ended, things had mellowed out quite a bit between them. The fact that they were roommates definitely played a part in this, as it kind of forced them to learn to get a long. At first, they begrudgingly tolerated each other, but over time they became had settled their differences, and became friends. Fan looked up to Paintbrush (mainly because of the height difference…) and admired their confidence and strength. And Paintbrush, in turn, grew to find Fan’s quirky, awkward nature to be quite endearing.

 

“Hey, I’m going out today,” came a voice from beside him. Fan looked up from his screen to see Paintbrush casually leaning against the wall by his desk, running a wide-toothed comb through their long blond hair. They were dressed in a shoulderless, form-fitting, black turtleneck shirt, and a pair of matching black trousers.

 

Stylish and effortlessly cool as usual.

 

Fan sat upright in his computer chair and took off his headphones. “Where to?”

 

“I’m in the mood for a new outfit, so I’ll probably be heading to the mall”, they crossed their arms across their chest and looked up at the ceiling, “Maybe I’ll check out some thrift stores on the way back”

 

A new outfit, huh? Fan looked down at what he was wearing: a Spoiled Lemon t-shirt, an old oversized red hoodie, black sweatpants and a pair of mismatched socks. The epitome of uncool. Fan thought about it for a second before speaking up.

 

“Do you mind if I tag along?” Impulsive as ever…

 

Paintbrush was momentarily taken aback by this. They drew their gaze away from the ceiling and back down towards the short redhead next to them. Fan? Going outside? Of his own free will? Insane. They cocked their head to the side, looking at him inquisitively for a moment, before shrugging. “I don’t see why not.”

 

They let out a yawn and took a few steps towards the door of their shared room, before turning back to him with a smile. “Meet me in the main room when you’re ready to leave”

 

The door shut behind them with a soft thud, leaving Fan in the room on his own. He got up from his chair, grabbed a pillow from his bed and screamed into it. It was the only way he knew how to express this strange feeling that bubbled up in his chest every time he spoke to Paintbrush. Once again, Fan had found himself hopelessly in love with someone who almost certainly would never like him back. I mean, just think about it. Fan was a socially awkward nerd that rarely even went outdoors, meanwhile, Paintbrush was tall, strong, confident, outgoing …the list goes on. They could never fall in love with someone like him, right?

 

Even with the knowledge that nothing could possibly ever happen between them, Fan still desperately longed for some kind of deeper connection, even if it was just platonic. So that’s why today, he was stepping way out of his comfort zone and into the big scary outside world. It’s no big deal, really. Just a whole day spent hanging out with his roommate. And secret crush. Nothing to freak out over. Just the two of them. Alone.

 

Okay, well maybe it is kind of a big deal. And maybe Fan is kind of freaking out about it and already regretting his impulsive decision. But he can’t just back down now, can he?

 

Okay Fan, you can do this.

 

He tries to convince himself that everything is going to be a-okay, as he rummages through his messy closet, searching for something to wear. Nothing he owns is anywhere on the same level of style as what Paintbrush is wearing, but perhaps he can find something that doesn’t look like it came out of a dumpster.

 

You’ve got this.

 

He hums tunelessly along to a Spoiled Lemon song, smiling to himself when something nice finally catches his eye. A black t-shirt with the Inanimate Insanity logo plastered across the front in white, glow-in-the-dark writing. Perfect!

 

But just as he made to grab it, he stood up a bit too fast, his head colliding with the shelf above him, and sending some of its contents flying across the room. Some notebooks lay across the floor, a rubber ball bounced every which way, a Lego set crashed down, leaving the little bricks scattered all over. Fan crouched on the floor, groaning and holding his head in pain after an old handheld console had hit him on the way down to the floor.

 

Fan let out an annoyed sigh, hurriedly shoved everything back inside the closet and grabbed his clothes. After getting dressed and tying up his spiky red hair, he surveyed himself in the mirror and gave a satisfied nod. It wasn’t the best looking outfit, but pretty much anything beat what he had on earlier. As he stepped outside into the hallway, he had to squint his eyes. For some reason the sunlight pouring in through the hotel windows seemed to be so much brighter than usual. I guess it really has been a long time since he was up and out at the unholy hour of 11 in the morning.

 

He stepped into the hotel lobby where he was supposed to meet Paintbrush, passing by many of the other hotel residents. Soap, Pickle and Knife were sitting together on the sofa playing Smash, Salt was on a phone call to Pepper, gossiping and spilling tea, and Lightbulb was telling some crazy story to Paintbrush. Her excitement was obvious, from the way she was gesticulating wildly and bouncing up and down, but she hadn’t seemed to notice that Paintbrush was wearing a pair of noise cancelling headphones, completely blocking out all the sound.

 

But as Fan approached the two of them, something very strange had caught his attention, leaving him extremely confused. What appeared to be little purple heart was glowing faintly in front of them, seemingly having just materialised out of nowhere.

 

So it begins…

Notes:

References:

Old handheld console - It was a Gameboy Advanced, to be specific, for reasons that may or may not make slight sense later on ;)