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Jake Sully wasn’t used to the sound of waves. He grew up in a city, listening to the people on the streets at all hours of the night and the sound of his brother’s snoring. He found that peace again in the forest of Pandora, the gentle sway of the hammock and Neytiri curled into his side.
Jake expected things to change when they left the only home Neytiri and the children had ever known and fled to Awa’atlu. He knew that leaving broke Neytiri’s heart, even if she kept it together for the kids, and that they would all have to get used to a new way of life. What he didn’t expect was laying awake listening to the water, exhausted but unable to fall asleep. His hand ached from trying to hold on to the tsurak, and he knew that everyone was facing similar issues assimilating to the Metyakina ways. Jake sighed, carefully extracting his arm from under Neytiri. She deserved her rest, and if he was going to stay awake he might as well enjoy the view of their new home.
Sitting on the dock outside of their marui, Jake looked up at the sky identifying the constellations Neytiri had taught him. The stars were different on Pandora. He rarely saw the stars on Earth, the smog too thick in many areas and the light pollution clouding the sky, but there were good days in the summer when he and Tommy were sent to summer camp. They would lay awake, and Tommy would point out the constellations he had learned in a library book.
The star he knew was Earth’s sun was bright in the sky. He always felt drawn to it at night, even if it filled him with guilt. Earth was no longer his home, but it was once. There were good people who didn’t deserve to face the consequences of the powerful and greedy. He just wished that they wouldn’t inflict the same on Pandora.
Jake heard movement behind him, his ears flicking as he recognized the footsteps. He continued to look up at the stars as Neytiri moved to sit beside him.
“Did I wake you?”
Neytiri looked up at the stars herself, leaning her weight against his side.
“I find it hard to sleep without you, especially in this place.”
Jake hummed, leaning his head to rest on hers. Her skin was warm against his, bare except for the woven top she wore to sleep. Her thigh pressed against his, strong and steady.
“Do you think we’ll be alright here? It’s been hard to adjust, but I think this place could be good for us.”
Neytiri didn’t answer for several moments, looking out over the water as she contemplated all that had happened since the night the Recom unit had nearly taken their children.
“Tuk is happy. She loves the ilu, and Tsireya is kind to her. Lo’ak also likes Tsireya, though he is struggling with the boys. Kiri spends hours in the water, and Neteyam seems to be adjusting.”
“What about you? I haven’t seen you much.”
Again, Neytiri was quiet. Jake waited for her to answer, but when no words came he shifted them both to be sitting facing each other. She didn’t quite meet his eyes, choosing to look down at the bruises on his hand. She reached out to gently hold his hand, running her fingers down each of his. Five fingers. Five fingers that held her gently, that learned to fight like an Omatikayan and cared for their children. Five fingers like the men who killed her sister and her father, five fingers like the men who held a knife to her daughter. Five fingers like her son, who had grown up playing with children who respected him despite differences and now found himself singled out by the Metkayina boys.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted. I tried to think of anything else we could do, any way we could stay in the forest. But the only other option was to fight.” He tightened his hand around hers, stilling her movement and forcing her to look up at him. “We almost lost our kids. They deserve better than that, better than fighting and living in fear.”
“I know. That is why I am not angry at you.”
“Who are you angry at?”
Neytiri closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath of the ocean air.
“I know I should not be, but I am angry at Eywa.”
Jake held her gaze, steady and calm, lacking the judgement many others would have given her.
“We have given so much. We have fought, and we have led our clan, and I have trusted the Great Mother my entire life. But I feel betrayed, to have been forced to leave my home and my people. My mother would say to trust in Eywa, and that all things that happen will be kept in balance. But why must we carry this burden?”
Neytiri felt Jake’s hand cupping her cheek, pulling her closer to rest her forehead against his. He spoke quietly, as though sharing a great secret.
“I told you once that Earth doesn’t have a version of Eywa. Some people believed we had an entity, a God, but there was never any proof. Still, it makes it easier to deal with a dying world if you think you’re going to be saved. My family never believed, but when I was laying on a hospital bed, in pain and almost wishing the bullet had killed me, I prayed. I asked why this happened to me, and I begged to be healed. Nothing happened.”
He pulled back, one side of his mouth upturned in a sort of smile. She found herself mirroring his expression, grateful for the thousanth time that things happened as they did and he was here with her.
“I didn’t want to believe in Eywa because she could have let me down, but she didn’t. She listened, she heard us, and she protected us. You’re right, this isn’t fair. This should have been over sixteen years ago. But it’s not, and I have to have faith that we can survive this again.”
Neytiri pulled away to rest against his chest, breathing in again. Under the salt and smell of the ocean he smelled the same, and his heartbeat was familiar. He wrapped his arms around her, and though her chest was still tight she felt lighter.
“You are the strongest person I know. We’re gonna be okay, and one day we’ll give the kids back the life they deserve.”
She leaned back and tilted her head, smiling at him.
“When did you become wise?”
He laughed, pulling her close again to nuzzle against her cheek.
“I married the most amazing woman in the world, she taught me everything I know.”
Neytiri laughed as well, trying to keep quiet to avoid disturbing their children. She moved to stand, placing one hand on his cheek.
“Come. We need to sleep. There is much to do tomorrow.”
He turned his face to kiss her palm before standing. Before she could walk back to their marui, he gently grabbed her wrist.
“I know the last few years have been tough, and I haven’t always been there when I needed to be. But I love you, and I want you to be able to talk to me about the things you’re feeling.”
“I will. Or at least I will try. We will survive this together.”
She pulled him along the path to their home, taking a moment to check that the children were still asleep. Tuk had ended up sprawled over her brothers, Kiri curled tightly into a ball on another mat. Neytiri settled onto their mat, laying on her side so that Jake would curl up behind her, one arm around her waist and his chin resting on her head. Not the life she would have chosen years ago, but a good life.
Jake thought about the old apartment, his brother’s snores and the heater creaking in the winter. He thought about the sounds of the forest. Here in this moment, those sounds were far away. But his mate was relaxed in his arms, her breath evening out as she succumbed to sleep. His children were nearby, and they seemed to breathe in harmony with the waves underneath them. Maybe he could get used to the waves, as long as his family was here with him.