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❀~❀ 1- Leaves ❀~❀
Flowers. Oh how beautiful they are! How Fragrant they smell and how much beauty they hold.
He lets go of a deep sigh from his rattled lungs as he finished the the simple yet painstaking sketch in his hand.
As he examines the fallen florets once more, he can’t help but reflect on these small but painfully beautiful white flowers.
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He has seen and admired flowers & nature for as long as he had lived.
It was his dear departed mother who first opened his eyes to them after all. She taught him that not only are flowers beautiful, they were also useful.
She showed him the sweet candy-like taste of the small Santan flowers by the parks. She led him to the calming scents Ylang Ylang in their garden. She taught him how to make bubbles from the bright flowers of Gumamela in their home. And at night, She shared to him the secret blooms & fragrances of the Dama de Noche.
But among all the flowers she imparted to him, the Sampaguita was the one he kept close to his heart.
It was small, simple and nothing special to most. But what most failed to learn was its healing and calming properties. From it's flowers, one can brew drinks to relieve a person. Another of its mysteries come from its beautiful but heart wrenching legend. How it persevered all because of a promise from a love so true, worth dying for.
And in young Fidel’s eyes, growing up surrounded with love, hope and wonder, he believed one day he too would find someone he can promise his heart and devotion to as well.
But like how all of nature grow change and wither, he did too.
With the tragedies and tribulations of life, his views about his beloved flowers changed as well.
After the death of his parents he moved abroad to Spain to study. As if by the spirit of his beloved flower, he wanted told true to his promise to his parents of finishing his studies abroad, and so he did.
With a wider world view and wider stage, he realized that for as much as he thought that flowers were meaningful in his younger years he has now realized & found them vain and shallow.
In Europe, he saw the flowers as something only admired for their beauty and only valued for the meanings they symbolized and nothing more. Vapid, narcissistic and just symbolical.
As seasons went, he aged. He grew up around well off, handsome & young scholars like him.
He finally saw the flower disease first hand.
Hanahaki as they call it.
He’s read of its power and treachery. How it seemed wonderful but truly deadly. He learned how, it fills up your lungs as time goes by. How it starts with cough, then a bud, and slowly as stem forms then near then end, a blood covered flower fully formed.
How no matter the beauty and no matter the meaning, it all came about some form of unrequited love. A love never to be returned.
For the person had to have loved so much yet …
Bah! What is love in a world filled with vain beliefs, shallow thoughts and meaningless relationships.
What is love even valued? Is it even of worth compared to gold to money? Bah!
He’s seen it first hand as well. He seen it from fellow classmates who’d been claimed by the clutches of love. He’s seen them try to hide it, but one can never truly conceal the scent of vagrant flowers and pungent blood.
He’d even seen it from the women that tried to confess to him.
He just wanted be friendly and fun. He was in Europe after all! He wanted to have a grand time. He didn’t think that they’d fall in love with him, but hen again who could resist his charm & allure. He tried to let them off easy. He did, no one can say he wasn’t a gentleman. But at the end of it he simply told them.
“I’m sorry but I simply don’t feel the same way.”
And as a final kindness he pushes them to take the surgery. He’s known of a great doctor , who’s specialized in this disease. He helps the women get situated. He comforts them. He apologizes and he leaves. He does all he can so they forget about him peacefully so that he too has no underlying guilt from them. A clean break so to speak.
Also It’s not as if it’s his fault they fell for him anyway right ?
Meeting Crisostomo Ibarra and being his friend, that's life changing! It made him realize that maybe, love isn’t all that shallow after all. That maybe some loves can be and are true. Through the years of his friendship with the other man, he saw how devoted and how much he wanted to return the arms of his beloved. But he also saw the pain of the separation and the pain of loving one’s family as well. He was there for every letter his father sent, for every news they received. Through Ibarra, he was not only rekindled in the understanding of romantic love but he also was welcomed into the bosom of familial love and brotherhood. For to him, Crisostomo Ibarra was not only his closest friend but his brother in all but blood.
But meeting Ms. Maria Clara Infantes, is a whole different ball game all together. Who knew someone could resilient as her ? As outspoken as her ? And full as hope as her? Who knew that someone could be as beautiful and as strong as woman like her? Willing to fight for whatever belief she held dear in her heart? She was smart as whip ready to defend Sisa and even the ladies who hurt her. She was as gentle as a cloud as she tried to care for Crisostomo when all hope felt loss. But she could be as brave a bear she fought hard against Padre Salvi.
Miss Klay was truly a breed of her own.
And she truly is one worthy to look up to.
Tunay nga siyang kahanga hanga.
Looking back, as long as he was rich, happy, and smart, he'd get by.
He’s known about flowers all his childhood,
He’s gotten to know love from the people around him.
He’s known about Hanahaki since his college days.
He’s a learned, well off and smart young man
He thought he’s gotten life all figured out.
❀~❀
As the moon illuminated his bedside, he tries to breathe a bit more. Trying to control his breath, and the rattling of his lungs, he breathes in the warm tea prepared for him.
He takes careful sips as he tries to calm his thoughts.
As he lays on his sickbed, he stares at the seemingly innocent bunch of Sampaguita. He concentrates as he tries to solve the puzzle one more time.
For all the knowledge he’s learned and the thoughts running is his brain.
He never once thought that he, Fidel Reyes y Maglipol, will someday be one of Hanahaki’s victims.
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end of part 1
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