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Enid finished firing off a text to Yoko, her finger pads leaving sticky residue against her phone screen that would be an absolute pain in the ass to clean off. She grimaces, when a glob of sweetness that was quickly becoming overbearingly earthy scented, as it drops from her forehead to her lap.
‘Get over here ASAP and bring a tarp!!!’ Read at 12:09pm
God.
After everything that happened, Enid will never be able to look at peanut butter and jelly sandwiches the same way.
It all started when Ajax had the brilliant idea to become a human sandwich a few days ago. He was hopped up on caffeine during the exam season, and the tired group had just laughed and agreed absentmindedly because, really, who was stupid enough to do something so dumb.
Ajax. Apparently. Because come that following Saturday afternoon, in a spare classroom, he had squished his body between dozens of slices of bread that once could have housed either end of such delectable lunch staples.
He’d fired off a message to every one in his contacts- which was thankfully, not that many people. And even less showed up to watch the catastrophe in lieu of lazing about to start off the long weekend.
But Enid and Xavier had been his first responders- the latter manning the camera to film the dumb-assery in real time. Enid had just watched on, when he posed for a photo op between the bread like it was his throne.
Really, what the genuine fuck that had inspired him, Enid did not know. She just watched in horrors ever expanding as he shouted out orders like some kind of lieutenant for a few of the AV kids to soldier over two tubs of grape jelly and smooth peanut butter. They had used spatulas to empty the tubs onto either side of him, the smell quickly filling the room and causing Enid’s canines to ache from the abundance of sugar. She already is mulling over her skincare routine to counteract the splattering mess of food that deflects onto her.
She could only side step to avoid the smattering of condiments pouring off the counter in heaps to the floor, when he had rolled himself like a corn-dipped hot dog into the mess that completely bypassed his entire idea of being a PB&J human burrito.
Yoko had flashed to her side seconds after she’d sent the message with a guttural reaction to the human food, her nose buried in the dark blue polyester she’d brought along at the urgent message (sent with confetti and a boom, for effect). It was too late to save the room from the mess with the tarp, but at least Enid didn’t have to suffer alone at probably the most disturbing moment of her entire adolescent career.
Yoko throws the balled up tarp at him, where it rolls off like the middle slice of bread for the floor’s own brand of sandwich.
Fuck this was gross.
“How have you made it this long without someone throwing you out an airlock or something?!”
Ajax looks over with a broad grin, his tongue flicking out to clean off some of the jelly that was rapidly covering him in a sticky film that made even Xavier, the glutton of the group, look a bit queasy from where he stood behind a tripod.
Oh, right. Ajax had garnered such an ingenious idea because he wanted to go viral on TikTok. Like every other absent-minded teenager.
Enid wasn’t any different, of course. She uploaded makeup tutorials, get ready with me’s and a bunch of silly dance skits (along with the occasional fan page posting of Seventeen), religiously. But she never made such a huge mess (and waste) for the sake of a few views.
She grimaces, when Ajax kicks his foot out to readjust and a few slices of bread plop to the ground with a stomach-churning noise. He makes an awkward kind of laugh, when he abruptly sits up in a downward dog pose and slips face down in a splat. Grumbles into the human sandwich. “I’m trying very hard not to see all this as a metaphor for my life.”
Wednesday makes a noise in the back of her throat as she strolls into the cramped classroom, her left brow twitching rhythmically. She had blocked Ajax when he wouldn’t stop sending her music recommendations, but she seemed to gravitate to wherever Enid was. She moves with grace to stand behind her girlfriend, the entire time eyeing the show with disgust.
She tugs Enid back to be pressed flushed against her front, nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck. Despite the man-made devastation zone, her skin flutters with a shiver to prelude goosebumps as she hums happily at the affection. Wednesday speaks softly against soft skin. “How you keep him around, I do not know.”
Enid sighs, shaking her head absentmindedly as she wraps her arms around the ones around her waist. “I truly do not know, babe. I question my own sanity everyday.”
Ajax clambers around to lay on his back. His beanie is practically fused to his skull from the sugary jelly, and his face is marred with the mix of purple and brown. He blinks sluggishly against the smooth peanut butter that’s sealed to his eyelids, huffing. “Can someone please help me up!”
Yoko makes a gagging noise, coupling it with keeling over like she’d been personally attacked by the sight. Enid just burrows her face into Wednesday’s shoulder, who smiles humourlessly with a middle finger raised, peppering kisses lovingly against the blonde mane of hair against her.
Ajax looks, pleadingly, to his best friend. His stained hands raising up in a quiet prayer.
Xavier tosses his own up, chuckling as he uses one to aimlessly start the search for a good audio to add in the background of the video. “Nope, I absolutely refuse to touch that.”
Ajax whines, pitifully. “But it’s sticky!”
Wednesday sniffs, the first to step foot into the growing monstrosity of a social experiment. She kicks the underside of the table, that makes Ajax slip onto his face once more. “You are the single most strange thing to ever sneak onto earth, and I long to send you back to whatever terror you were hatched upon.”
He grumbles- ever the good natured at her insults, and spittles out jelly that seems to be a congealed substance now that has Enid whining lowly, because God it’s so disgusting.
Wednesday’s head inclined at the sound, her eyes narrowing into pinpricks at the gorgon that shifts around uncomfortably (more from the sheer power of an unblinking stare than the mess of condiments all around him). He tries a smile, that’s wobbly and betrayed by the slight quiver in his voice. “C’mon, Wednesday! I’m the biggest Wenclair supporter! Please help me out!”
She eyes the hand that’s sticky with a distinguished glower marring soft features and wet, and Enid turns because her stomach is curdling and some mix of nausea and laughter is rising rapidly.
Wednesday clenches her jaw- the sound of teeth gritting on teeth audible. A tense moment falls in the Chemistry room, that would probably require a serious bleach bath; the only sounds breaking the silence the rapid-fire sped-up audio’s on Xavier’s phone and the plunking of sticky lunch dripping leisurely down to the floor.
Then, Enid’s soft giggle, who leans into Yoko’s still bent form.
“Please help him, Willa-“
She doesn’t hesitate, her hand wrapping around his wrist to tug him to his feet at a breakneck speed.
“Fine. But only because you asked.”
And she says it even once he’s on his feet, slipping and sliding across the floor and flailing about like a cartoon of the bad guy tripping on a banana peel.
And the same bright peels of laughter echo around the room along with the rhythmic 3 second countdown of Xavier’s TikTok.
Wednesday all but curls around her werewolf, kissing her temple. Her own laughter barely audible, but palpable enough to drown out everything around her. She leans up to press a kiss to Wednesday’s forehead, whose nose scrunches at the sticky mark left against her skin.
But she doesn’t pull away, or flee. Because she adores Enid, as much as Enid adores her flock of impotent children.
And maybe, just maybe, she’ll admit around mouthfuls of apology-sandwiches Ajax hands out, she adores those idiots a little bit, too.
And if Ajax is sentenced to detention for the rest of the semester, as well as volunteering his sweet-16 VW Beetle for chauffeuring the freshmen Chemistry Lab to their field trips, well, that’s just the sweetest treat of all.