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Anakin Skywalker is the most terrible liar the galaxy has ever seen.
And no, he's not exaggerating.
Don't believe him? Well, you're about to, because you're going to see just how much of a terrible liar he is.
Nine years old Anakin Skywalker.
Anakin is in big trouble.
Big trouble.
Master Windu is going to kill him! He's only been in the Temple for five months now and he has caused a mess! A huge one!
Mind you, Anakin has always been a magnet to trouble. Even his mother often called him "chaos magnet" sometimes. He can get himself out of trouble just fine.
But that was back on Tatooine.
Now, a whole new planet, with a whole new environment and rules. This is something out of his control and he doesn't think he can get himself out of this.
Master Windu is going to kick him out.
Of course, Anakin has befriended droids. And of course, he fixed them and gave them tuneups. And of course, he gave them his own touches. And of course, this ended in a disaster. As usual.
Anakin has only been in the Temple for five months, but guess what? He made Master Windu's vein on his forehead show. That's something Anakin may or may not be proud of.
But anyway, back to what he has done.
So he fixed one of the cleaning droids (again) and has caused in an entire flooding of four floors of the Temple (again) and now he's running after the droids hoping to catch them (again). Master Windu has warned him last time that the consequences will be severe.
Anakin is sure he will be kicked out.
And luck wasn't on his side today, he bumped into Obi-Wan's friends. And now, he bumped into the very person he's been trying to avoid.
Master Windu.
"Skywalker," Master Windu said, rubbing his forehead, the vein visible and twitching. "Care to explain?"
Anakin's mouth opened and closed, trying to come up with something. At last, he mumbled something quietly, Windu making him repeat it.
"The droids rebelled."
"The droids-" Master Windu hissed. "Just how did they rebel?!"
"They decided not to clean anymore, and so I tried to change their views."
Master Windu put his head into his hands and screamed.
Fourteen years old Anakin Skywalker.
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan said, walking into the room, noticing how Anakin quickly closed and threw his datapad to the side. He decided not to address it at the moment. "I'm going to meditate in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, care to join me?"
"No, thank you." Anakin said quickly, so polite and proper, so unusual.
"Alright, goodbye." Obi-Wan said with a last glance, leaving for the door.
"Goodbye!" Anakin said hastily.
Obi-Wan closed the door, waited a few seconds, then immediately opened it to see Anakin again on his datapad.
"Ha!" Obi-Wan said triumphantly. "I knew it! What are you doing?"
"Watching porn!" Anakin blurted out, eyes wide.
"Oh don't lie to me, Anakin," Obi-Wan scoffed, moving closer. "What are you really doing?"
Anakin's shoulders slumped. "Fine, I'm trying to see if there's a way I can buy an astromech..."
Seventeen years old Anakin Skywalker.
Anakin has no idea how he ended up with three cuts on his chin, but he sure knows Obi-Wan will kill him if he knew he used his shaving cream.
So Anakin has facial hair, and he shaves it. Not a shame, every guy does this. But being seventeen and having no idea how to shave, then that's a problem. A major one.
So what? He stole Obi-Wan's cream, tried to shave for the very first time and ended up injuring himself. So now he's stuck with three cuts on his chin, and two of them will definitely scar, by the looks of it.
Obi-Wan also has no business knocking on the 'fresher's door like someone's dying.
"Anakin what are you doing in there? I need to use the 'fresher!"
Anakin went silent, mouth full of shaving cream, and blood coating his fingers.
"Anakin?! Just what in the stars' name are you doing?!"
Anakin hastily tried to put down the razor, but every place was full. Oh no, he's screwed.
"Anakin!"
"D-Drugs!" Anakin shouted back, voice muffled with cream. "I'm doing drugs!"
Behind the door, he heard Obi-Wan sigh in exasperation. "No you aren't!"
Obi-Wan is going to kill him.
Twenty years old Anakin Skywalker.
"General?" Fives called.
"Yes?"
"You have someone saved 'the love of my life', and your love of your life is calling you, sir."
"Uh..."
"Sir?"
"Yeah?"
"May I ask who it is?"
"It's Master Yoda, Fives."
"..."
"He's- That old frog is the love of my life. He's so wise and inspiring, he's the reason I wake up every day. He's-"
"With all due respect sir, I don't want to hear about it."
"I- Yeah, I get it. Yeah."
Twenty-one years old Anakin Skywalker.
Okay okay okay Anakin is not panicking.
At all.
So It's Padmè's twenty-sixth life day in two days, and Anakin doesn't know how to plan things. So he's hired a party planner.
Not bad, at all.
But he's a terrible liar and actor and now Padmè is suspicious and knows he's planning to do something.
He has about three seconds before she breaks down their door and has him in a choke hold and then-
"Ani?" Padmè said sweetly, too sweetly, twirling one of her curls as she leaned on the door frame. "Dinner is about to be ready!"
Anakin tried to smile. "Yeah- Thanks, I'll be right there."
Padmè gave him one last smile, then left. Anakin immediately took out his comm just as Padmè returned to the room at lightening speed.
"I knew it!" Padmè cried in satisfaction. "What are you hiding?!"
"Uhh-" Anakin said, glancing to the side. "I'm having an affair!"
Padmè groaned, dropping her attacking stance. "Oh Ani! You're not! Tell the truth! What are you really hiding?!"
Anakin swallowed, glancing from side to side. Thankfully, Dormè barged in just at the right time, saving Anakin. Anakin shot her a grateful look.
Two days later, Padmè's life day party worked, and Anakin finally felt better that he has no secret to hide.