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"And where exactly are we going again?" Gerard asks, glancing at his brother in the passenger seat for a second.
"Just some bar," the younger Way responds, still looking out the window at the passing buildings and closed stores, "I figured we could hang out alone for once instead of dragging our significant others everywhere we went."
"This is kinda outta the blue, Mikes."
"Yeah, sorry about that. But tonight's a good night to go here." Mikey keeps his gaze at the passenger's window, avoiding the older Way's eyes. His own would end up giving things away, and he wanted his older brother to see and hear things for himself up close. "Trust me. It's the right time to be here," he says a little more quietly. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Gerard's mouth open to ask another question. "And I'm not telling you anything more than that, so quit the whole '20 questions' thing you've been doing and keep driving. We're almost there.
There's nothing noteworthy about their destination. It's like any other bar you can find across the country. The overwhelming smell of booze and God knows what else had hit Gerard the moment Mikey opened the door to the bar. The scent is the same inside as well, although it also mixed with cigarette smoke. The place is pretty packed tonight, which, according to the bartender as he gives the brothers their drinks, is rare. It's only ever moderately full most days, but tonight is a (somewhat) special case. He says it's because of the act they have scheduled for this night only, but he didn't go into detail about it since he had to take care of other customers.
Mikey finds them a table near the back of the room that still gives them a great view of the front of the bar's stage. After they set their bottles on the table top, Gerard turns to Mikey. "How did you learn about this place?"
"From Alicia," he lies. His girlfriend wasn't all that supportive of his outings with the band to one or two bars during tours for Revenge and The Black Parade, mainly because she wasn't fond of the idea of random girls all over him (not due to jealousy, but because she wanted to make sure he was safe and wouldn't end up getting hurt). He's not sure if Gerard is aware of that, since that would immediately reveal his lie. If Gerard knows, he doesn't say anything about it.
Instead, he asks, "What about this night makes it special? You just found out about this place yourself apparently, so whatever it is must be important or has to be that good.
"You'll see, Gee," Mikey replies, taking a sip of his drink. Underneath the table, his leg is bouncing up and down. He resists the urge to drum his fingers on the tabletop. Mikey is really looking forward to the show that's going to start in a few minutes. The only reason why he'd heard about the show, and even this bar, is due to eavesdropping and being lucky enough to hear the topic of the conversation.
"Hey, you hear about the killer band that's gonna be playin' at the Bullets in a Bottle tomorrow?"
"Nah, you know I don't go to the bars round here."
The teens' voices were loud in the vacant record store. Save for Mikey, two other customers and the cashier, the store was pretty empty. With only one cd rack between him and the two teens, Mikey was skimming through cds for Alicia, who had asked him if he could go downtown and get more medicine for her since she had come down with a cold. He didn't want to risk her getting worse so despite her protests, he went alone to purchase better medicine at the local pharmacy. He had been about to head home when she had texted him to buy a good vinyl or cd for them to listen to once he gets home. Medicine and music. He has to say, in his opinion, that's a good way to deal with a cold.
"Well cut whatever shit you got planned cause you're seein' this band. They're definitely your type. They're loud as hell, they scream almost the entire time, and their songs kick ass."
"What're they called?"
"Leathermouth. Dude even their name's written cool like, check this out."
The sound of pen scribbling on paper was heard behind Mikey, who's mind snapped into attention upon hearing the band's name. Leathermouth. Frank's band. He'd heard about the band a month or two before now but hadn't thought of listening to them. He had been too busy getting through all the shit that popped up in his life during The Black Parade, with Alicia at his side helping him the whole way. But then he gets an email from Ray not too long ago saying, "Mikes, you've gotta hear this." He had clicked on the link below the message and was brought to a video of Frank performing with his band.
And holy shit did the short man go nuts on stage. MCR knew about Frank's crazy antics during their own shows but in Leathermouth, the guy seemed to be screaming his heart and soul out to the audience. Mikey could barely make out the lyrics, but he knew he could definitely hear one thing, and he knew that somebody else needed to know about it.
The young Way approached the two eighteen year olds and asked, "Sorry for cutting in, but where's the bar you guys are talking about?" He was glad that he decided to wear a small disguise today. He thinks it's a small one since the only differences between his usual outfits and this disguise is a baseball cap with a big enough cap to cover most of his face and a big, baggy hoodie. If the boys knew about MCR they'd recognize Mikey in less than a second. Thankfully it seemed that they had no clue who he was, since they only gave him an annoyed look for eavesdropping.
The guy who knew more about the band answers, "It's not that far from here. It's just two blocks from the stoplight outside. It's small but it has a really bright neon sign. Green door. Can't miss it."
After thanking the boy and buying a cd and vinyl (Alicia was gonna be pretty happy), Mikey drove to the bar to see it for himself. It wasn't that shabby honestly. It wasn't full, as expected for the morning of a weekday, but it still seemed to be somewhat popular in town. The band's show tomorrow night was probably for fun, maybe a way to make a little extra money too. Mikey was positive he'd feel what he felt while watching the video from the email. Not only because of the lead man's performance, but also from the anticipation of bringing his brother too.
"This place ain't that bad Mikes, but I'm still curious why we're here."
"Just be patient Gee. I'm sure it's- yeah, it's about it start," Mikey says, cutting himself off when the frontman of tonight's band comes onstage. The equipment is finally set up behind him and the band's all ready to start playing. Gerard looks at the lead singer and his eyes widen, and he snaps his gaze to his brother accusingly.
"You brought me here to see Frank?" Gerard had been aware of the band earlier but he had been busy spending time with Lindsey after My Chem decided to have a break. He never looked into Frank's band, although it was mainly because he wanted to avoid anything associated with the guitarist after Projekt Revolution. Judging from the lack of texts or call from the other man, he assumed that Frank was doing the same thing about him as well.
"Yeah, but it's more than that. Ray's the one that showed me the band in the first place, and I think it's something you should see for yourself."
"Why? What could-"
The sound of the mic being tapped a few times reverberates through the room, turning everyone's attention to the stage. The mic stand is pulled down slightly to accommodate the lead singer's short height. "Hey, guys. We're Leathermouth." He pauses when a group of suspiciously young group of adults cheer loudly near the stage. They're probably not 18 yet and shouldn't be in here, but no one calls them out, and Frank just smiles at them. "Thanks guys. We're gonna play a few songs tonight. Things are gonna get loud, as you know if you listen to us like these guys down here. But uh, we hope you guys enjoy the show."
Mikey braces himself. Shit's gonna get loud. Gerard is switching his gaze from Mikey to the band then to Frank when he starts counting off the band, and he flinches when the first scream comes out of Frank's mouth.
The whole show is a blur to Gerard. He knows there had been loads of screaming, either from the teens or Frank, drinks spilling, bottles flying, tons of cursing left and right- nothing he would have expected (well, maybe the cursing, but not to the extent Frank is taking it to). His eyes widen in shock as they follow the singer's movements, which are jerky and wild. He's surprised that Frank hasn't kicked the mic stand down or thrown it around. Gerard's heart is hammering the entire time, but not from the show. From Frank. His screams are strong, powerful, raw with emotion. A lot of emotion. This Frank isn't like the one in My Chem. This Frank is terrifying. The strength of his performance honestly scares Gerard, and also surprises him. He had been aware of the other man's personal issues during his time in MCR (they all had problems they were dealing with), but it seems that he's incorporated all of that into the songs. Gerard thought that maybe Jamia's presence in Frank's life would've helped him with his problems, but apparently that isn't so. Sure, Gee can't make out eighty percent of what he's saying, but there's obviously more meaning behind the words. There is something else that is influencing Frank, and it smacks Gerard in the face during the entire performance, song after song.
Pain.
Gerard can hear it, loud and clear.
And he knows why Frank's hurting.
"Gee. Hey, dude, snap out of it. The show's done," Mikey calls out to him, snapping his fingers in front of his face when the younger brother gets no response. That still doesn't get the older Way to move.
"This is my fault," Gerard says. The show- or, to Gerard, the torture session- is finally over, and the band is moving their equipment off stage. His eyes watch Frank as he moves back and forth to help out. Once everything's all packed up and away from the stage, the lead singer stays behind to talk to the group of teens still nearby, who excitedly ask him questions and ask for autographs. Frank smiles at them, and even from this distance, Gerard can still see the Frank he knows in that look. The shorter man looks a lot different from the last time they had ever spoken, but Gee recognizes that smile easily, and it makes his heart clench a little bit. He hasn't seen that smile for months.
Finally looking away, he rests his elbow on the table and lays his forehead in his hand as Mikey says, "Now you know why you're here."
"Mikes, this was a big fuckin' slap to the face."
"Good. That was the plan."
"You wanted to see me like this?"
"No. Like I said, I wanted you to see him."
"But why?"
"Because I knew this would get you to do something about it." Gerard groans and lets his head fall onto the tabletop. "And I knew you'd care." Mikey is concerned about Frank, just like Ray. When he and Ray had texted each other after Mikey watched the video, they both concluded that they wouldn't be enough to help the shortest band member. They all may be brothers to each other, but the other two guitarists knew that only one person would be able to effectively help Frank, and that person also happened to be the main source of Frank's problems. That led to Mikey's plan to get his brother to see his best friend's state in person, since it would have a bigger impact than watching a three minute video on a laptop screen. "So, now that you know what Frank's been up to, what're you gonna do about it?"
The older Way looks up at his younger brother from the tabletop. "Well, he's letting things out. We all know that he gives his entire being to a performance, so he's screaming all the pain and hurt he feels through these songs." Even though Gerard couldn't understand what the fuck Frank had been singing most of the time, he is absolutely sure that the lyrics have a lot more meaning behind them.
Good, his brother thinks. Gee heard the same thing Mikey did when he first watched the video. "And you do know why all of it even exists in the first place."
"Yes, I do. I'm not blind, Mikey."
"I still have no idea why you did those things Gee. I don't get it. Look at what it's done to Frank." The disapproval in the younger sibling's voice makes Gerard cringe on the inside. He already doesn't like what he's done, especially now that he sees their effects on Frank. He really doesn't like hearing it from his brother, since he rarely hears real criticism from the normally unemotional Mikey Way. It makes him seriously uncomfortable and more regretful. "It may not be totally your fault considering what you both were doing during Projekt Rev and everything leading up to you and Linds, but you definitely had a hand in this."
"I'm sorry, I really am, and I know I should be saying all of this to him, but there's no going back on any of that. I can't change anything Mikey. Frank just... He has to deal with reality and get over it."
"Then say that to his face."
"I can't." 'I'm afraid to', Gerard adds in his head. He's sure that Mikey could hear the unspoken words too.
"So you're just gonna leave him like this?" Now there's an accusing tone in Mikey's voice and it makes Gee correct him as quick as he can.
"No! Well... not for too long." Mikey huffs and Gerard continues to explain himself. "I think he needs to let all the bad shit out, and if this is the way he wants to cope, I'll let him. It's for his good, not mine. If it makes him or even you feel better, I'm gonna feel like shit about it the whole time. Maybe if he gets the bad things out of the way, he'll be a lot more calm when I finally talk to him later on. I doubt he'll get everything out, but it's still better for his sake, right?"
Mikey scrutinizes him, and the look on his face tells Gerard that he's not entirely onboard with the idea. The younger brother is probably replaying his words in his head and looking for a sign of doubt or... something else. Gee can't figure out what he's searching for, but it's either something that Gerard can't see at all, or is something that he's been trying to avoid and put in the back of his mind. "So, when you do talk to Frank, are you gonna discuss, well, you know...?" He waves a hand, not stating the topic, but Gerard knows exactly what he's talking about.
"Yeah. I'll clear things up. He has to as well." Gee needs to make it clear to Frank that they're both married men. There's no way that they can keep doing what they've been doing the past few years. They've got rings on their fingers and wives that they sincerely, genuinely love. Nothing's gonna change that, especially some overly flirty, fake 'relationship' between him and his best friend. Hell, he and Linds have a kid on the way. It won't be long now. Nothing is going to take him away from either of them.
The brothers look over to the stage and see Frank apparently saying goodbye to the fans. When he starts to walk away from the stage and to the back door of the bar, Mikey turns back to his brother and asks, "You sure you don't wanna go to him now?"
"Yeah. Yeah I'm sure." It's too late now anyway. Gerard watches Frank disappear through the door, completely out of sight. "I don't know when exactly I'll talk to him, but I won't let this go on for too long."
"In the mean time then, you should listen to the rest of their album. Look at the lyrics. I think it'll motivate you to talk to him sooner."
"Is it bad?"
"Did you not just see him on stage? Yeah, it's fuckin' bad Gee, and the actual lyrics are worse."
"Okay okay, I'll do that too Mikes. If it'll help you sleep at night, I will. God already knows it's gonna make me feel worse. Let's just get you back to Alicia. We don't have any reason to be here now."
The two of them bring their unfinished bottles to Gee's car outside. The car ride's silent, Mikey keeping his gaze at his window and watching the town's buildings pass by. He's hoping that his brother will keep Frank in mind now, and that things will eventually turn out okay. He isn't in any rush to get back home, since Alicia had been immensely supportive of helping Gerard and Frank patch things up and she said he could stay out as long as he needed. By now, she's probably asleep. He continues to stare out his window quietly. In the driver's seat, Gerard's glad his younger brother doesn't try to bring up Frank again. He doesn't want more guilt to crop up the more he hears about the guitarist. He would take care of things, just not right now. But he won't let Frank suffer for long. He'll make sure of that.
It's late at night when Gerard finally makes the call. A few minutes ago, Lindsey had been about to go to bed, but she'd noticed her husband in the living room still sitting on the couch, his phone in hand. She'd asked what he was doing, and when he told her it was about Frank, she nodded understandingly. Gee had told her about his visit to the bar with Mikey a while back, and he'd shown her a few of Leathermouth's songs. Lindsey supported his idea of letting Frank get everything out of his system, and saw that he was finally going to speak to the other man. She had hoped for some time now that the two of them would make up soon, and she left Gerard so that he could have some privacy for this very important call.
"Good luck," she had whispered, giving him a smile and kissing him on the forehead before departing to their bedroom for the night.
Now, Gerard looks down at his phone, staring at the name in his contacts list. He feels nervous, from the thought of finally communicating with Frank and from what he is about to say to him. He hopes he can repair their friendship, and that his words will be enough to bring them together again. He takes a deep breath, his heart beating faster, and starts the call.
The phone rings for some time, and Gerard realizes that maybe he shouldn't have waited until now to contact Frank. The man's probably knocked out, sleeping soundly with his wife at his side (or even in his arms). Gee can remember a time when he had been in that position with Frank, during nights where he couldn't sleep from bad dreams and night terrors. He shakes his head. He can't think of those moments anymore. He needs to push those memories to the back of his head, and put memories him and Lindsey in their place.
The ringing stops and Gerard lets out a breath, waiting for an answer. When he hears the other man's voice, he gets hit with a spike of nervousness. "Hello?" Frank's voice is emotionless, and that only makes Gee more anxious. After a moment of silence, (it surprises Gerard that the man didn't just hang up) there's a sigh on the other end of the line. "What do you want?"
Here we go, Gerard thinks, his grip on the phone tightening. Inhaling sharply through his nose and releasing a breath, trying to calm his nerves, he says quietly, "Hi, Frank."
I miss you terribly
Those same words are ones that Gerard can recite now, in the present, with even more truth behind them.