Chapter Text
June 12th
Thursday
"Yeah, of course! Sounds like fun," Roxanne exclaims. "It's been years since I've played, and I've never done any hosting myself, but I remember…most of it, I'm sure I can manage to put something together."
"You're sure?" her aunt asks. "I just, I don't want the kids running around with people they don't know. I'm sure Lorena can handle herself, but she's only just started driving, and the younger kids are still so impressionable, and…"
"And there's only so much trouble they can get up to playing Minecraft with their nerdy cousin Annie?" She laughs. "Don't worry, I get it. I'm happy to help."
She and her aunt chat a while longer, and then say good night. And Roxanne is looking forward to helping—truly—her cousins are much younger, but they're always fun to chat with; they make her feel simultaneously younger and older than she is. There's nothing like being laughingly called a boomer in the family group chat by an eleven-year-old with no concept of age brackets.
But she may have been exaggerating slightly on remembering most of it. Roxanne has never been the most active of players, and never really socialized much with the people in her dorms who actually hosted other than to chip in a few dollars towards their bandwidth cost.
And…okay, all of the old forums but one are nonfunctional, and that last holdout is very dead. That's okay. Roxanne does a bit of googling, pieces some things together, and finally posts, "I have some people who'd like to play on a server together, but we're scattered across different time zones and I'd like to make it available 24/7. My computer can't handle that. I've heard of a couple dedicated MC hosting services but I'm allergic to middlemen - is there any reason why I couldn't use AWS for something like this? Anyone have any suggestions if I end up going that route?"
And then she stretches, and thinks, well, if it all goes south, at least the kids can laugh at their 'boomer' cousin flailing and failing at minecraft.
June 13th
Friday
The next day finds her tied to a pole on the roof of City Hall. This is infuriating.
"Do you have any idea how long it took me to do my hair this morning?" she snaps, as soon as she comes to and realizes where she is and what the wind is doing. "I slept on it funny and it would NOT cooperate, it took me fully half an hour to beat it into submission! And now that stupid tuft in the back is sticking up again, I can feel it!"
Megamind scowl-pouts at her. "Aw, boo hoo," he says, mocking. "Shave it off and you won't have to deal with such things."
"Shave it off and I can kiss the camera goodbye," she fires back. "That's not a solution and you know it. You couldn't give me any warning?"
"Why, so you can turn around and warn everyone else?"
"So I can use more hairspray! Or get it really wet and blow it dry! Don't," she adds, catching her 'get it wet and blow it' slip up too late. "Don't even."
"Easy grapes," he waves this away, smirking at her, eyes dancing. "Regardless. Your hair is simply secondary to my concerns."
She blows a raspberry at him, and he scrunches his whole face. "I am accustomed to somewhat wittier repartee than 'thbbbptptpbt,'" he says. "No comment on the Magnet Helm? Really?"
"Is that what that is," she replies, flat. "I figured you got your head stuck in a bowling ball."
"My head is far too big for standard bowling balls," he sniffs. "I look magnificent and that is a fact."
"You look like a dork," she tells him. "And the name is childish."
"And we're back at grade-shool insults again—Miss Ritchi, today just is not your day, is it?"
"Well I'm sorry, I was up until midnight researching Minecraft," she snaps. "And then I couldn't get my hair right and I was late to work, so no, I am not at my best today, how very perceptive of you. No wonder they call you a genius."
His expressive face wrinkles up again, but this time it looks more like confusion. "Minecraft," he says. "Why?"
"None of your business." She sighs. "Look, can we get this show on the road?"
It has been some time since Megamind last thought about anything Minecraft-related. He's had bigger fish to fry, and projects to keep him busy, and a nemesis to taunt. But he had enjoyed the game years ago, during the period of time Minion refers to as his 'quiet years,' when his hands were still and his mind was a hot flat haze of nothing. His memories of those years are difficult to access, but he remembers Minecraft made the hours move more quickly.
And…
Well, what the heck. Why not. He's between projects at the moment; maybe he can log into one of the old forums and see what's changed.
June 16th
Monday
Mostly what has changed, he finds when he returns to Evil Lair after breaking out of prison yet again, is that everyone has moved to an instant messaging and streaming app called "Mayhem." Good name, but ultimately a downgrade considering all answered questions are inaccessible via search engine. When did basic troubleshooting require access to sequestered buckets full of nerds on what is technically the dark web?
The vast majority of the proper websites he remembers are no longer in existence. The rest have gone almost totally silent. He sits for a moment, sort of stunned, and annoyed, and mourning a past he can barely remember.
But there is one site with activity. Someone posted just a few days ago, in fact. That eases the blow to his nostalgia somewhat.
He opens the thread, blinks at the post, and feels his interest give a little flash. Some of these terms are new. Some of these terms are new.
Megamind likes new.
June 17th
Tuesday
To Roxanne's absolute shock, she actually receives a response to her post within three days. Less than a week, and someone out there actually replied?
The cynic in her mutters, wow, that question must have been way more basic than you thought. Could have found the info yourself, if you really tried.
Still, the user who replied—Boomsplosion—is helpful. "m5.large. 8GB EBS, about 9c/hr," they write. "Not sure what you're running at home, but you can write a short python boto3 script to turn it on or off (python3 start_minecraft_server.py) and then set up an IAM for your friends to be able to start and stop the instance, if you trust them.
"Also, run nightly backups of your EBS. Maybe you'll need it, maybe you won't, but hey - always good to have a failsafe, am I right? Of course I am. Worst case scenario, you only lose a day's worth of work.
"Depending on your location, it should run you under $20 a month, even with lightsail and elastic IP, plus S3 cost for the backup volume. It's maybe not the cheapest option, but you will have close to full control. If your friends can use the AWS app or run a python script, no reason not to go for it. If all else fails you can always import your world to another host if you decide you hate AWS. Good luck and happy gaming."
She sits back in her chair, blinking.
Well. That's a whole new pile of stuff to google. But that's fine, that's whatever, Roxanne is good at research. Mostly she's just stunned and amazed that anyone responded.
And from the way they type, they sound like a pro. A quick glance through their profile shows nothing interesting—oh, he's a dude, fucking of course he is—and his posting history shows a spattering of activity several years ago and then nothing until today.
Huh.
Thanks, she types back. I'll look into that. Can I DM you somewhere if I run into questions? I haven't actually used Python before, it's been on my bucket list, and then she stands up and goes to rummage in her freezer for the Taquitos she knows she bought two weeks ago.
Aha! Okay. And, double okay, let's actually make them in the oven so they're crispy! Why not! She's doing stuff, she's learning things, she's got fifteen minutes while the oven preheats and another twenty minutes to learn about the basic underpinnings of Python as a language, if not the actual underpinnings themselves. Let's go! Challenge time!
She blitzes through the introductions to the subject, and thirty-five minutes later finds Roxanne learning to define functions with laser focus and a steaming taquito clamped in her mouth like a cigar. She has to hand it to her aunt—Irma really knew exactly who to contact when it came to creating a bespoke little sandbox for her kids. Not that Roxanne is complaining! This is the first project she's had in a while that has piqued her interest to this degree, and god it feels good to finally scratch her brain this way. She needs to do this more often.
Still. Roxanne may be smart, and she may be focused—sometimes, when she can harness it—but she is not a super-genius, and she does, eventually, run into a hiccup.
Several hours later. Dammit.
Stumbling block on keyword-only arguments, she sends Boomsplosion. If he wants to ignore her, he can. It's fine. It's fine. Let me know if you're open to questions?
Okay. OKAY it is time for BED, NOW.
Yes.
She's definitely not going to keep reading tutorials and documentation until she finally hits a sleep window. Ha, that would be silly.
June 18th
Wednesday
In the morning, she checks her computer while she's having coffee. Usually she would make coffee, go get dressed, and drink her coffee while dressing, but today she boots up and sips at her caffeine while reading—miracle of miracles!—Boomsplosion's response.
Message me anytime! I'll reply when I can. Boomsplosion#3681
Okay. Kind of a bare-bones response, but that's fine. Sure. Okay! She has a resource, go her!
June 24th
Tuesday
Data, resources, and tutorials in hand, she sets about building the infrastructure she's been researching. She sends Boomsplosion questions when she runs into anything she can't solve by herself in an hour or two, and to her surprise, he usually replies pretty quickly.
After a few days, her questions go from technical to…a little more personal. That's normal, right? To build a dialogue with someone? That's normal.
She sends, "thanks, hope you're well," and receives an "I have been better," and that's something, yes? An opening to a conversation.
So finally she shrugs to herself and cracks her knuckles and opens a conversation.
KarmanVS: so how long have you been doing this?
Boomsplosion: Which bit?
KarmanVS: the python minecraft thing
(boomsplosion is typing)
(boomsplosion is typing)
He types for a while, stopping and starting, and finally there's a long pause…and then he sends:
Boomsplosion: About a week.
Roxanne sits back in her chair. This guy can't be serious. He CAN'T be.
KarmanVS: you're JOKING
Boomsplosion: I am not.
She sits and stares at the screen. Boomsplosion is typing again.
Boomsplosion: I pick up new skills quickly.
Boomsplosion: It was fun!
KarmanVS: the hell do you usually use to manage yours?!
Boomsplosion: It's been some time since I managed it with anything, but I previously used a system based on qLAM. It's a variant of lambda calc I came up with
KarmanVS: fucking why would you use pure lambda calc for this? why would you not just use python
Boomsplosion: I was bored? I thought it might be fun? I'm a nerd? Take your pick?
KarmanVS: ……i pick all of the above
Boomsplosion: You'd be partly correct. Frankly it didn't occur to me to use anything else. I saw a problem, I solved it my way.
Boomsplosion: It's what usually happens.
Roxanne snorts. Sips her drink, grabs another taquito, and types, you must have been a pleasure to have in class
Boomsplosion: That is not something that was EVER on my report cards.
She laughs again, and returns her attention to the matter at hand: looping techniques. This particular tutorial appears to be Monty Python themed, which is amusing.
It doesn't occur to her to ask the obvious question until she's going to bed. But as she crawls under the covers, she does open the app she's been using to contact Boomsplosion for the last couple of days (it's Mayhem, ugh)
KarmanVS: wait, I'm sorry, did you actually go to public school?
Boomsplosion: All 12 years.
KarmanVS: once again: you're JOKING
Boomsplosion: I wish.
KarmanVS: why?!
Boomsplosion: Citizenship reasons
KarmanVS: ah.
Boomsplosion: It was not my choice, believe me.
KarmanVS: this fucking country.
Boomsplosion: You have no idea! LOL
She flops onto her pillow, stunned. Based on her last few interactions with the guy, she had been pretty sure she was talking to one of those graduated-MIT-at-15 types. He's been weirdly knowledgeable about more than just coding—a lot more.
KarmanVS: so then why are you talking to me about python now?
Boomsplosion: No one else had answered yet! And I don't like not knowing things.
KarmanVS: so you just…did a bunch of research for the hell of it? On a random Tuesday afternoon?
Boomsplosion: Problem?
KarmanVS: no problem. just surprised
KarmanVS: I'm typically the one looking for answers
Boomsplosion: Yes, well! I am very smart! And I acquire new skills quickly, as I said. Call it a hobby.
KarmanVS: lol
KarmanVS: so what you're saying is it didn't occur to you to do anything else
Boomsplosion: What I'm saying is
Boomsplosion: Shut up :P
She grins.
KarmanVS: sorry, shutting up has never been one of my strengths
Boomsplosion: What a shame
Boomsplosion: wait no!
Boomsplosion: YoU mUsT hAvE bEEn A pLeAsUrE tO hAvE iN cLaSS
KarmanVS: I was, thank you :)
KarmanVS: also lol
KarmanVS: again
July 6th
Monday
Roxanne continues to build a rapport with this Boomsplosion fellow, even after she stops needing his help on server-related questions. It's been a while since she's had someone to chat with who she doesn't know in meatspace, and it's unexpectedly nice. To be able to text someone oh my god, my coworker has just restored and sold his fourth Atari VCS and do you know what he's doing with the proceeds, and receive back Buying another Atari, I assume. Did he at least sell this one for more than he bought it? and be able to chuckle to herself without worrying about office gossip coming back around to Hal.
And he's funny. It takes him a while to start responding in kind to her attempts to connect, but eventually her phone buzzes and she finds he's sent her a picture of a bottle of something that looks like shampoo, called "Confetti Glitter Fruity Cereal Flavored Fruit Spread," and the words Guess what I just ate.
KarmanVS: you DIDN'T
Boomsplosion: I did.
Boomsplosion: I did and it's UPSETTING.
KarmanVS: YEAH I BET IT'S UPSETTING, IT LOOKS LIKE SOAP
Boomsplosion: IT SMELLS LIKE SOAP
KarmanVS: what's it taste like
Boomsplosion: AGGRESSIVELY lemony but also deeply and profoundly wrong. I am going to be sick later, but it was worth it. I had to try.
Boomsplosion: It's like…
Boomsplosion: This is lemon from the perspective of an alien who has never been to Earth
KarmanVS: LMAO
Boomsplosion: And who has only had lemon described to him by someone who once had a lemon rind stuffed up his nose.
Boomsplosion: It's.
Boomsplosion: BAD.
KarmanVS: i really wish you could see the face I made at the picture.
KarmanVS: like D:
Boomsplosion: LOL!
She shows the conversation to a couple of her friends that evening while they're over playing board games (first Monday of the month! game night!), and they both laugh uproariously and agree that this guy has one heck of an imagination.
"And he's teaching you programming?" Eileen asks. "Where did you find this guy?"
"Where does anyone find anything these days," Roxanne sighs. "Internet."
"Hey, don’t turn down free help and fun conversation," says Jo, and Roxanne nods and points at her.
"Yes! My thoughts exactly. And he hasn't been a creep so far, so...I'm going to keep chatting with him."
"I'm buying a bottle of that lemon confetti glitter stuff the first chance I get," Eileen declares. "It looks like a train wreck and a tire fire had a baby, I have to try it."
"Ooo, bring it to game night next month," says Jo, and Roxanne laughs.
July 17th
Friday
Sometimes Boom isn't funny, himself. Sometimes he just knows her sense of humor. For example, one day when she gets home, she finds Boomsplosion has sent her a video of some bottles of household cleaner spinning around on top of a running dryer set to the tune of Waltz of the Flowers. It's out of nowhere and so stupid and Roxanne has had a long day and she laughs so hard she nearly cries.
One day, though, she gets home and finds a question for her that she's been expecting for a while.
Boomsplosion: I have to ask…your username.
Boomsplosion: Is it in reference to something specific?
She grins to herself. Initially, she had wondered if he would say anything about it, but more recently she hasn't been thinking about it.
KarmanVS: it is, yes
KarmanVS: i'm kind of intrigued to know if you already know what it is, Mr. I-Don't-Like-Not-Knowing-Things
Boomsplosion: And I'm kind of wondering why someone who works in communications chose a name based on a concept not frequently recognized outside of fluid dynamics! Kármán vortex street, right?
KarmanVS: yes! You know about this!
Boomsplosion: Yes! They're FASCINATING
KarmanVS: my original plan was to go into physics. This account is kinda old, lol
KarmanVS: I do still have a soft spot for the physical sciences. i just realized I could do more good in my current field, you know?
Boomsplosion: I do not. LOL!
Boomsplosion: Why vortex streets?
KarmanVS: they're cool! they work the same way on a massive scale as they do on a small one. cloud systems, eddies in rivers, the flow of water around a pencil
KarmanVS: you don't see that kind of one to one scaling very often
KarmanVS: IJustThinkThey'reNeat.jpeg
KarmanVS: what is it you do? I don't think you've said
(boomsplosion is typing)
(boomsplosion is typing)
Boomsplosion: I am an engineer!
Boomsplosion: Sort of.
Boomsplosion: I make things. I'm in research and development, I can't tell you where.
KarmanVS: don't worry, I absolutely understand. what kind of things do you make? Can I ask?
Boomsplosion: All kinds of things! Any kind of things I want to. I have a lot of freedom
Boomsplosion: And I build them VERY WELL, even if my brother says otherwise!
KarmanVS: hahaha I'm sure you do and he just doesn't know what he's talking about.
KarmanVS: what are you working on this time?
Boomsplosion: A water condenser!
Boomsplosion: Pulls water out of the air!
KarmanVS: so…a hydropanel?
Boomsplosion: Not exactly! Mine is far more efficient
Boomsplosion: Hydropanel is ancient tech. The Incas had them, did you know? They had fog fences and cisterns, it's how they were able to live above the rain line
KarmanVS: oh neat!
KarmanVS: brb dinner
Boomsplosion: Yes!!!
KarmanVS: back! so how is yours different
Boomsplosion: Mine generates electricity!
KarmanVS: it…generates electricity?
Boomsplosion: Yes!
KarmanVS: it doesn't run on electricity?
Boomsplosion: It does that, too! From pocketbook nuclear fuel cells. My own design.
Boomsplosion: I am VERY good at my job :)
KarmanVS: how does it work?
Boomsplosion: That would be telling. But I can tell you the technology is sort of like a hydrogen fuel cell if you used hygroscopic techniques instead of redox reactions.
Boomsplosion: I am kicking the ass of the Peltier effect and I am WINNING
She has to do some googling for that one, but a couple hours later she thinks she might have the shape of things.
KarmanVS: so it's thermoelectric?
Boomsplosion: NO
Boomsplosion: Well
Boomsplosion: Yes, a little. Somewhat.
KarmanVS: you take advantage of the charge current's natural oscillation and the heat gain/loss and force it through…i'm guessing some kind of desiccant? brine? use gravity to remove the condensed water, use the vacuum that creates to lower the brine's boiling point?
KarmanVS: that's brilliant, if so
Boomsplosion: :O
Boomsplosion: >:O
KarmanVS: lol
KarmanVS: so did I get it right?
Boomsplosion: WHO ARE YOU
KarmanVS: it is a mystery ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Boomsplosion: You! You are dangerous!
KarmanVS: hahaha
KarmanVS: i'm just good at research. i don't know HOW you force the current through the hygroscopic media, as far as i can tell those are two totally separate techniques
Boomsplosion: Yes well I am NOT telling you anything else
Boomsplosion: How did you get all that???
Boomsplosion: Seriously, who are you?
KarmanVS: a girl loves to be ~mysterious~
Boomsplosion: You're a girl?
She winces. Fuck, FUCK, she hadn't meant to say that. Ugh.
Well, she'll play it off as if it was intentional.
KarmanVS: sure am!
KarmanVS: pleeeease don't be one of those guys who's weird about it lol
Boomsplosion: No no! Not weird! Just surprised! I assumed otherwise and now I'm not sure why. The smartest person I know is a lady.
Boomsplosion: I am a fool, clearly :P
KarmanVS: i think it's normal to assume :) chatting online makes it easy to project and you just kind of expect everyone to be like you
Boomsplosion: I suppose so.
Boomsplosion: Well then! If you love to be ~mysterious,~ then who am I to deprive you.
Boomsplosion: That said, if I see my technology being patented by someone else, I WILL find you >:(
KarmanVS: i don't doubt it!
KarmanVS: but you don't have to worry. if i betrayed your secrets, you would stop talking to me. and i like talking to you.
Boomsplosion: Oh! Ahaha!
Boomsplosion: I enjoy your company as well.
Boomsplosion: It isn't every day that I meet someone who picks up what I'm talking about so quickly! It's nice.
KarmanVS: it really is honestly incredible
Boomsplosion: Yes I am, thank you for noticing. LOL :)
KarmanVS: lololol
KarmanVS: I wish my work was as interesting! I mostly just find things to talk about, or am assigned things. And then I talk about them
Boomsplosion: Well, but you did say this helps you do good things?
KarmanVS: it does, sometimes. less so at my current job
KarmanVS: I need to head to bed, though
Boomsplosion: Oh!
Boomsplosion: Oh.
Boomsplosion: Okay, sleep well.
When she plugs her phone in, she checks it one last time—her friend hadn't sounded quite right, when he said good night—then frowns.
Boomsplosion: I've put you off, haven't I.
Boomsplosion: My work isn't interesting to very many people. I typically only talk details to captive audiences.
Boomsplosion: Hard to tell when I've talked too much and said too little.
KarmanVS: what?
KarmanVS: no, it's just getting late and I have work in the morning
Boomsplosion: Okay
She rolls her eyes. Lord, save her from nervous academic types. Captive audiences? Bet he teaches night classes or something when he's not in the lab or the testing room or wherever he usually works.
KarmanVS: seriously. I stayed up because I wanted to talk more about your thing! If I was bored, I'd have gone to bed an hour ago
Boomsplosion: Okay.
Boomsplosion: Thank you.
KarmanVS: scroll up, doofus. i think you'll find i was the one doing the talking, not you
KarmanVS: i liked it :)
Boomsplosion: :)
Boomsplosion: Here's me being a fool again, ha!
Boomsplosion: Sleep well!
Roxanne laughs to herself as she lies down. There he was. She's had friends before like this, who would burst to life when asked about something important to them, and then visibly reel themselves back in afterwards. It's a shame, but it's not uncommon. At least Boomsplosion is pretty transparent with his moods—if he's using exclamation points, he's probably feeling okay.
It's funny, she thinks, how you develop a feel for someone's typing style as you get to know them. Boom is enthusiastic, and it shows. It's refreshing.
It's been a long time since she's met anyone new. She's only known him for about a month, but…this is nice.