Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Graduation
"When the long-for journey begins
My Graduation, the first step
It will be very happy"
- NCT Dream, Graduation
The sun shone through the blinds, lighting up the dark room with its warm rays. The lump laying on the bed shuffled a bit. It was another cold December morning, the coldness of outside already creating frost along his window. It was quite perplexing actually, how the sun was able to still shine through the cold, bitter winter clouds. As if on cue, the alarm on the bedside started to ring it's annoying ring. Jaemin groaned as he swatted his arm around in attempt to turn off the clock. 6:00 AM read the alarm clock.
Despite his best efforts to stop the sound, the alarm kept ringing as if it were mocking him. Telling him that even with his best efforts, he still couldn't accomplish anything. A heavy reminder of what Jaemin would hope to never face again. After another couple seconds of constant ringing, the alarm went silent. Jaemin could feel those thoughts returning. The very same thoughts that landed him in this position right now.
Now, Jaemin was awake for a few hours already, awoken by yet another nightmare. Since he felt no energy to get up and start his day, he just laid there as his thoughts consumed him.
Jaemin groaned as he sat up on his bed. Wincing in pain as his back refused to cooperate with him. Massaging the sore spot was now part of his daily routine. Even though it has been years since the incident, Jaemin's back didn't seem to want to heal properly. Once again, another reminder that even with his best efforts, he still couldn't accomplish what he wanted.
10 years have passed.
10 years since the graduation. 10 years since Jaemin left everything behind.
Jaemin ran his hand through his hair as he sighed for what seemed like the nth time that morning. Now looking back at his past, Jaemin can't help but regret everything. Younger Jaemin who did desperate measures just to find an escape. An escape from his problems that he was too much of a coward to face.
But Jaemin hated how he left everything hanging on a loose thread. He hated how he left everyone behind. He hated how he cut off everybody with no explanation. He knew how it felt to be pushed to the side without a second thought. Trust him, he knew from experience.
He wondered if it was a good decision, the one he made.
"No," said Jaemin firmly as he shook his head. "It had to be done."
It was the only way for Jaemin to find himself again. Jaemin was fully convinced that this was the only true way for him to become happy again. But now an important question arose.
Was Jaemin happy? Was it all worth it?
There was no way Jaemin would have been able to heal with his old memories standing there right in front of him, smiling or laughing at his jokes. Picking up his daily coffee or doing late-night convenience store runs with him. So he needed a place where he was surrounded by silence and peace. A place where he could only hear his own thoughts, and not the thoughts of others. A place where he would be able to go to sleep without anxiety. A place with no distractions.
But all of this came at a cost. A big price that Jaemin wasn't willing to pay.
Jaemin glanced over at his alarm clock. The time read, 6:45 AM. His eyes widened in shock as he realized he was going to be late for work.
Had he really just spent 45 minutes regretting all his life decisions? Jaemin shook his head again. No more time to waste, especially since there is going to be a huge meeting this morning. Something about moving into a new building or whatever, Jaemin can’t remember.
As Jaemin was preparing his breakfast, which was a classic scrambled eggs with toast (it reminded him of the mornings where he would actually wake up happy), his phone vibrated twice against the cold counter surface. Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows together. Rarely did he ever receive notifications on his phone. His phone only had the default apps and candy crush. He never got notifications from candy crush either because he turned off the notifications and same with every other app he had.
The only app that still gave him notifications was his text app because he didn't have any contacts on there anyways.
Confused, Jaemin puts down the spatula and turns off the heat. He didn't want perfectly good eggs to burn and go to waste cause hey, inflation nowadays right?
Now cue in a text saying that he was invited to his high school reunion. Jaemin stared at the text.
"What?" said Jaemin softly as he read it over again.
"Hey Jaemin! It's Mark if you're wondering! It's been a while since we last talked haha," The text read. "Not sure if this is the right number but I'm texting you to formally invite you to our NCIT Highschool reunion!!"
"It's happening in 2 weeks on the 31st at around 1pm, so I hope to see you there!"
He chuckled softly. "I can see that Mark still types the same."
Jaemin now has two choices:
1. Go to the reunion, but risk the chance of seeing Him
or
2. Stay, and continue living in regret
Jaemin ran his hand through his hair again and sighed. Should he go? Or should he stay.
"It's not like anyone would remember me always," he mumbled to no one in particular.
Jaemin stood there as he weighed the pros and cons of each choice. But a certain con stuck out to him. The risk of losing him once and for all. Letting that happen would be Jaemin's nightmares turned into reality. He thought of how his decisions were now coming back to bite him in the ass.
Maybe this was the sign from the gods above telling him that this was a second chance to fix everything. Maybe the closure that he needed didn't actually require him to isolate himself. Maybe the actual true way for him to be happy again was with the help of a certain someone. Maybe it was time to go back and face his dilemma.
Jaemin grunted in frustration at all the possibilities. Ruffling his hair one last time, he took a deep breath and sent back a text to Mark.
"Hey Mark, it's Jaemin. Thanks for the invitation and I'll make sure to clear up my schedule for the reunion!"
The phone gently hit the counter top as it fell out of Jaemin's hands. The text was sent. There was no going back now. The reality of actually going back to his hometown, where his friends and family were finally hit him.
Jaemin was going back to Seoul.