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Luka was wide awake.
KAITO couldn’t stop thinking about this. If Luka was awake, there was something wrong with Tsukasa, and his mind flooded with what could be bothering him.
Did he have another fight with his sister? Is his sister okay? What if he had a dispute with Rui again? Did he say something wrong with Emu?
It was at this point KAITO realized how much of a father-figure he was for the teen. Any problem he had he’d go to KAITO, not his parents. Though, to be fair, his mother was off for many piano shows, and his father had to keep the bills in check with nonstop work. KAITO isn’t even sure if he’s ever seen his father, since he works too late. He’s only ever heard of the man through Tsukasa’s venting.
Luka yawned, but she never drifted away, a sign that Tsukasa was finding some kind of closure for his problem. But it wasn’t enough.
KAITO sighed miserably, waiting, still, for Tsukasa.
…
He woke up to the familiar sound of someone entering Sekai, and Miku jumping up and down. “Ooh! It’s Tsukasa!” She exclaims, pointing to the blue sky outside.
He must have fallen asleep in the auditorium after watching Luka clean up onstage. She wasn’t there, so maybe she fell asleep and somebody moved her? But then said somebody would have woken him up as well… Then again, Len said before that he needed more sleep, and everybody else agreed. He shrugged it off, standing up with a stretch and a yawn.
He blocked the sun off when he stepped outside, adjusting to the harsh light. He was used to it, sure, but it didn’t stop him from disliking it whenever he woke up. He was never really a morning person, liking the night more. It reminded him of going to casinos for fun with MEIKO, not like they’d ever gamble or smoke, they just liked feeling older, more mature.
Miku had run off somewhere, like she usually does, so he’s left to talk with Tsukasa. He gasps quietly to himself—Tsukasa! That’s right, he was supposed to talk to him, wasn’t he? He was very disoriented today, usually he knows where the teen is immediately, but now… his head just hurts. Maybe Luka’s weird behavior is getting him as well.
Thankfully, Tsukasa jogs up to him, frantic and fearful, like he’s just seen death itself. He’s the kind for theatrics, obviously, but this still seemed serious. KAITO tenses up when he sees him, sensing a type of dread in his heart. Or, well, if he had one he’d feel it for sure.
“What happened, Tsukasa?!” KAITO asks, suddenly relishing in his father figure role.
Tsukasa looks like he’s about to cry, which ticks KAITO off more. Tsukasa is on the verge of a breakdown, KAITO thinks as he rushes him inside the show tent.
The teen looks frightened, a very rare emotion for such a star to make. Actually, scratch that. KAITO huffs as he puts a hand on Tsukasa’s shoulder. He looks at him with wide, glossy eyes. Tired eyes. This isn’t a star right now, he’s a teenager, and a teenager that’s going through some stuff. KAITO himself was never a teenager, but he’s been through a lot either way, and he’ll sure as hell try to make things right.
It’s quiet, for just a second, before Tsukasa takes a deep breath and sighs. “KAITO… um. I didn’t mean to barge in like this, really… I have a… personal issue. I can’t—I can’t um, tell my parents at the moment because… they’re not here…”
His voice is shaking, wobbly like paper, and KAITO gives him a warm smile, letting him know that it’s okay. He hasn’t heard Tsukasa sound like this in a long time, but… at least he’s trying to make his issues clear.
Tsukasa responds, “It’s a little stupid… my reaction is um… a little…” he fades off, looking down now.
“That’s okay,” KAITO says softly, looking at his blonde hair, waiting for him to look back up, “If it means a lot to you, it means a lot to me.”
Tsukasa makes a small sound of complaint before shrugging. “Okay, but… don’t… laugh.”
Tsukasa, known for his loudness. Tsukasa, known for his brashness. Tsukasa, the boy known for making others laugh, is the one asking to not be laughed at. KAITO gives affirmation by taking a strand of hair off of his face. He hears the teen huff with laughter, and KAITO smiles.
“… Is it… okay to like guys…?”
KAITO stills for a second.
Oh.
He can’t help the tiny chuckle that escapes him, but he’s quick to cover it up with a clear of his throat. So, this is what his problem is? KAITO knows he shouldn’t brush it off like this, but he was expecting something a little bit more tricky.
Now, he knows Tsukasa has generally traditional views on gender, unlike himself. He doesn’t shy away from dresses or skirts as long as they aren’t too frilly, nor does he dislike makeup, in fact, he embraces it sometimes. But Tsukasa has shown time and time again that he doesn’t see it that way. He hasn’t made his views extremely clear or vocal yet, but KAITO knows he doesn’t understand it on a deeper level like KAITO does.
There was one time, when Saki wore a suit to an outing with Honami. Tsukasa never said anything about it, but KAITO could tell by the look on his face that he didn’t understand why she couldn’t wear a dress like Honami was. He understood Shiho, but not Saki, apparently. KAITO assumed it was because Shiho has been shown as a tomboy, but Saki hasn’t. She wears skirts all the time, so a suit was definitely something new.
He also remembers Tsukasa talking about a trans-for-trans couple in Sekai. KAITO was glad it was just them two, because the teen kept on messing it up badly. It was obvious that he’s not used to this stuff, but KAITO will make sure there’s nothing to be confused about.
When Tsukasa starts sighing, he realizes he’s taken too much time thinking. He clears his throat again before speaking, “Oh. Of course it’s okay! Why? Did something happen?”
Then, KAITO suddenly realizes why he asked. But Tsukasa is quick to answer. “W-Well… I… No—never—“
“Tsukasa. It’s okay. I won’t judge,” KAITO comforts. He sees the teen’s face scrunch up, and he starts crying. KAITO was going to hold his hands out for an embrace, but Tsukasa started talking. He talks and talks, barely stopping for air.
“I-I-I wasn’t sure b-because I said s-something really bad t-to Rui—he-he-he said he liked both girls and g-guys, and I told him m-my dad used to s-say guys only like g-girls, and he got really h-heated, so now he’s mad at me and-and he left, and then-then I realized I might like guys too, and—Rui might—he might—I-I don’t know what to do! What if he thinks I’m a bad p-person?! I didn’t mean it—I didn’t mean it! I didn’t—“
“Tsukasa!”
He stops and wheezes, chest heaving.
This was more serious than he thought.
KAITO frowns at him, thinking about what to do. He sighs softly, knowing that being mad won’t solve anything. “Tsukasa…” he says calmly, attempting to put his hand on his shoulder. Tsukasa flinches, so he puts his hand back down.
“Rui is not mad at you. He’s probably mad at your dad. When people say that liking the same gender is wrong, it’s a possibility that their parents taught them that. Obviously, that’s a wrong thing, right?”
Tsukasa whines out a sound of agreement.
“Right. If you let Rui know you didn’t mean it, I’m sure he’ll accept your apology and you can move on.”
KAITO watches as Tsukasa calms down, breath hitching less and less. Now that that’s over with, there was one more thing to talk about…
“Now. About you? You realized you like guys too?”
Tsukasa is slow to answer, sluggish with his movements. This was new. He sighs heavily, sitting up straight, but he doesn’t look KAITO in the eyes. He’s blushing furiously, staring at the chair at his side. “Yeah…” he mumbles, “after he left, I… I sort of realized he’s… been flirting with me this entire time…”
KAITO resists the urge to giggle at that, instead making a sound of acknowledgement.
“But… I’m a little conflicted,” Tsukasa says.
“It’s okay to be conflicted. Not everybody comes to terms with their orientation right away—“
“No. I mean… I know I like Rui but… I… also like Emu. The same way.”
Oh. Huh.
“… The same way? You mean… you’d date both of them?” KAITO asks for confirmation. Tsukasa doesn’t have the heart in him to say anything now, so he just nods. KAITO leans back now, thinking roughly. This was a new experience, a new territory for the both of them. KAITO vaguely remembers going over queer terms and culture with Gumi back in the day, but the community wasn’t as open back then. He hasn’t updated his knowledge since, unfortunately.
However, he does remember talking to MEIKO about it. The two were in a relationship before KAITO figured out he liked men only. He thought he was bisexual then, but after meeting Gakupo for the first time, his heart had fluttered in a way it didn’t for MEIKO. But, in his confused state, he still assumed he was bisexual, so he opted for an “open” relationship with the two of them. There was a word… a word for it… he can’t remember… oh—
“Polyamorous,” he says out loud.
Tsukasa looks up at the sudden word, his face forming into a confused look.
“Sorry, that—that’s the word I was thinking of. It’s when three or more people form a consensual relationship. It’s different for everybody, from what I can remember. Person A can be dating B and C separately, or they can all be in one relationship. Angle or Triangle, is what Gakupo said, heh.”
Tsukasa blinks, tilting his head. He thinks for a while, so long in fact, that KAITO thinks he’s fallen asleep. He’s about to say something before Tsukasa speaks up.
“That—that’s it! That’s it!” He laughs, warm and loud. KAITO grins, there he is…
“That’s it!” He says again. “I want to be in a relationship with Rui and Emu—and Nene too!”
“Nene too?”
“Nene too! I—I love them! Hahaha! I love them! KAITO, I love them!”
KAITO’s heart might as well melt, with the way Tsukasa chants and laughs, jumps and blushes. He loves them, and he wants it known.
“I can—… I can love them… Really, really, I can love them…! I don’t—I don’t have to worry anymore, or-or be confused anymore! I can love them!”
“You can love them,” KAITO warmly adds.
“I can! I—thank you. Thank you so much, KAITO!”
KAITO laughs pulling him in for a tight hug. Tsukasa rejoices in the tender moment of joy, gripping back with everything he’s got. It turns from a fiery passion to a soft hug, one that Tsukasa needed. Oh, he needed it, after all this time.
Then they feel another body jump on them, and Tsukasa makes a noise of surprise. “Argh! Wh—Miku?!”
KAITO pulls out and sees Miku, grinning from ear to ear as usual. “I saw a hug! So I joined! What was it for, Tsukasa?”
“W-Well! KAITO helped me realize I have feelings for Rui, Emu, and Nene!”
“Wow, all three? You’re going to romance all three?! Will you kiss them, too? That’s what you do when you romance somebody!” Miku claps, jumping up and down.
“Ah—no, Miku, he doesn’t have to kiss them,” KAITO tries, but Tsukasa holds up a finger.
“I will! I’ll kiss them all, and— Rui! I’ll come back tomorrow! I have to apologize!”
KAITO and Miku watch as he runs off, pulling his phone out and leaving with a white flash. KAITO smiles, then laughs, looking down at Miku. She’s confused, but her smile doesn't die down. He knows that elsewhere, somewhere in the Sekai, Luka’s eyes have closed, and her snores will fill the air.
[][][]
Tsukasa shifts his weight uncomfortably, hand nearing the doorbell. After that talk with KAITO, he regained his confidence, but he still can’t stop thinking about the ‘what if’s.’
No.
He sighs and rings the bell, now waiting for any sign of movement from inside.
…
He’s taking too long. What if he knows? Is this it?
Tsukasa makes a distressed sound and turns on his heel, trying to stop his tears from flooding. But…
“Tsukasa…?”
He turns back around, eyes wide. Rui was there, and he looked sad. Tsukasa fills with regret, stepping towards the taller boy.
“I’m sorry, Rui, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like that.”
Rui blinks. He’s not sure what to say, but he opens the door wider for him to come in. Tsukasa takes up the offer and enters, breathing in the familiar crisp air of the workshop. Rui lets him sit down on a chair while he paces for a bit, a habit he’s acquired over the years. He didn’t like showing his habits to Tsukasa or Emu at first because he was scared of what they’ll think—if he’s weird. But, of course, they’re all as weird as him, in their, well, weird way.
“I wasn’t really mad at you,” Rui says, halting in his tracks. “I was mad at your father; at how he could say something like that, to his kid, no less… But… thank you anyway for getting out of your way to confirm that. I’m glad.”
He looks at the shorter teen with that look, that look. With the smirk, the soft eyes. Tsukasa’s face is hot and red, furiously so, then he says, “I figured something about myself, too.”
Rui leans back, curiosity getting the best of him as he raises his eyebrows. “Oh. You did? Do tell.”
Tsukasa opens his mouth, then promptly closes it.
He’s the same as you, dummy!
He’s about to give up before he remembers his conversation with KAITO again. “You can love them,” is what he said, so softly, so naturally, like it just had to be true.
So he takes a leap.
“I think I like guys too.”
He didn’t even realize he said it, before Rui drops his mouth open. There’s… a stillness in the room. It’s hushed, quiet, silent. They look at each other, staring at the coolness of Rui’s golden eyes and the warmth of Tsukasa’s lava. Rui then lights up, mouth forming a wide smile. He’s genuine now, genuinely happy. There’s no smirk, no strangely ominous tilt when he pulls his head back and laughs into the air, fire crackling into the frigid workshop.
“Can—can I kiss you?” Rui asks once he’s done laughing. Tsukasa’s mouth is wide open at this point, and while everything in him says yes…
“No. Not yet. There’s something else I need to tell you.”
There’s disappointment laced in Rui’s eyes, but Tsukasa thinks it’s only fair. “Okay. What is it?”
The sunset-haired boy brings a hand to his face and rests his chin on it, thinking of how to word his feelings, how to piece them in a consumable way. “I love you. I’d date you. I know that much. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling with you, one that I don’t get often, but… I also get it with Emu and Nene. And… I think I want to share that with you. I want to love all of you. Equally. … I’m sorry if that sounds weird—“
“Me too.”
Tsukasa’s eyebrows practically lift off when he hears him. “Huh?!”
“I want to share that too. When I left you, I thought about my feelings further. Over time, my feelings for Nene deepened, even though I knew I loved you. I thought that people could only date one person, at least at a time, but I looked it up and…”
Their eyes met again, and they both smiled.
Then, laughter filled the air once more, warm and hot and fuzzy— a delightful feeling Tsukasa wasn’t sure he’d ever get again. Suddenly, he feels arms wrap around him, and he just melts. Rui, the calm and collected boy, had his heart beating out of his chest, pounding and pounding. Tsukasa laid his forehead on Rui’s shoulder then…
Tears choked out of him, and once he started he couldn’t stop. Rui thought he had done something wrong, leaning back to check Tsukasa, but even though he was crying, he still wore a proud smile. Rui then realized what this meant and began smiling wider, tears pricking his eyes, yet not enough to sob like Tsukasa was. Rui kept on looking at his lips, but Tsukasa tried making it clear that he didn’t want it—not yet, at least, he wasn’t ready. Rui obliged, opting for a hug again, which made Tsukasa cry harder. Just who in the world gave him this man?
Finally, Tsukasa stopped crying. For the second time, he thinks embarrassingly as Rui inhales his hair lovingly.
“May I kiss your forehead, at least?”
Tsukasa thinks, blush getting redder still. He nods, eyeing how Rui’s smile widens— somehow, it was already as wide as Cheshire Cat’s. He feels soft lips kiss him above his eyebrows, then they pull away. They look at each other once more, before Rui shuts his eyes and leans his forehead on Tsukasa’s.
“I love you,” is what he murmured, before Tsukasa found himself drifting off.
[][][]
The next day, he needed to get to business.
He needed to tell Emu about his feelings, he needed to tell her that ever since that one day, his heart had fluttered and flew. He wasn’t falling in love, no, he was flying.
He also needed to tell Nene—that part scared him the most. Emu was an open girl; she made sure to tell everybody that she won’t complain as long as there’s a smile. Most of this is true, but Tsukasa knows her limits. Nene, however, was very closed and closeted. He wasn’t sure about her at all. But…
Rui was snoring soundly on his desk, and Tsukasa looked down. He was on the pullout bed, a NASA blanket draped over him. Tsukasa yawned when he got up, walking carefully to Rui and pulling a strand of hair out of his face. His face softened, and Tsukasa felt his heart flutter once more.
This boy can help him with the Nene situation.
Tsukasa gets up out of bed, thinking about everything before going up to the door. He left a note letting Rui where he’s gone—his own house—and a heart at the bottom too, to make it official. (And a star, of course. He always closed his notes with a star.) He says goodbye to the workshop’s morning robots, then makes his way outside, only to be greeted by a certain green-haired girl.
“Nene?!” He gasps.
“Hi. Hi? What are you doing here?”
“Um—“
“Whatever. Listen, Emu and I need to tell you something. With Rui. Can we come in? Is he dressed?”
“Why would he—“
“Great. Emu! Stop hiding!”
Emu jumps out of a nearby bush, yelling in onomatopoeia-nese, a language Tsukasa has assigned her. “Wha! Ha! Shushushu! Tsukasa! Hello!!!”
“Hi,” Tsukasa simply says, not expecting to see her so early. His blood sugar practically rises through the roof when she gives him her wide joyous smile. Oh, his blood sugar. That’s why he was leaving. Oh well, he’ll worry about that later. He opens the door for them to enter, and he hears some shuffling by the desk.
Oh right, the note. He swiftly snatches it and throws it away, then starts waking Rui up. He felt a little bad, interrupting the peaceful sleep that he needed, but he wanted to get this situated. Rui blinks his tiredness away, rubbing his eyes and looking at the smaller boy.
“Tsukasa…?” Rui hums, looking around. He spots Emu, who’s speedily looking at everything new and exclaiming happily. “Emu? Nene?”
“Hi, sleepyhead,” Nene says, grabbing the NASA blanket off of the couch and folding it.
“Oh, you shouldn’t. I was going to—“ Tsukasa starts, but she shushes him, putting the blanket in a corner and fixing the pullout bed.
“Ugh, you’re so messy, Rui,” she sighs, stepping over pieces of papers to get to Emu, “The only thing here that’s neat is our outfit. And we really need to give you a new chair—that stool is about to break. Emu. It’s time.”
Rui hums in simple acknowledgment, turning around, not before looking at Tsukasa once more. He stares, a soft look in his eyes, before going back to Nene. “What’s so important?” He says, his morning voice deep and crackly, but in a good way, one that makes Tsukasa heat up.
“Well… Emu and I need to tell you something. We—“
“We’re in a relationship!” Emu cries out, using a robot to pop! a cracker. It’s a little quiet after that, but Nene laughs softly, looking at her lovingly.
“Oh,” Tsukasa says, looking over to Rui, who now has his legs crossed. “Well, then we have to say something too, then!”
Rui smiles, getting up from the chair. Then he holds Tsukasa’s hand up, “We are too!” They give each other a look of confirmation, so they’ll be sure to talk about the other part later.
Emu jumps on her two feet, “Ooh!!! So cool, so cool! So exciting! Wow! We’re both in a relationship! Nene! Nene, Nene! Can I ask it, can I ask it? Can I, can I, can I?!”
Nene rolls her eyes with a smile on her face, and she gives a go-ahead signal.
“Eee! Okay! Rui, Tsukasa! Will you be in a relationship with us, too?!”
Tsukasa yells suddenly, face now flooded with red. He thinks he’s about to faint, until Rui makes his way in front of him, worry obvious on his face.
“Are you okay? Did—oh no! Tsukasa! It’s okay if you don’t want to be in one! We were just wondering—“ Emu exclaims, rushing her words out as she flaps her arms in terror.
For the third time in a span of a few hours, Tsukasa begins crying again. He’s overwhelmed with emotions, and the only reasonable response he can think of is to just cry. Rui backs up a bit, unsure of which action to take. Tsukasa can’t be mad, though, this must look strange from their point of view.
He tries to find words, but they end up going nowhere, as he sits on the floor and weeps. He can’t speak for another few minutes before he regains his voice.
“I-I’m sorry—so s-sorry,” he says through thick tears, “It’s just t-too much but, b-but—“ Another wave of tears hit him as he tries to look up to a sad Emu. “I—“ he sniffs and inhales shakily, he needs to get this out. “I-I love y-you guys… s-so much! I r-really do! Th-there’s just been so m-much recent—recently, it just h-hit me. But I love you! I—I love you all!”
Emu starts wailing now, jumping onto Tsukasa and wrapping him in a tight, tight hug. “Waa! I love you too, Tsukasa! N-Ne-Nene!” She whines. Nene rolls her eyes, but she wipes a tear off her face as she sits down with them. She looks up at Rui with an expectant face, but she smiles weakly when they meet eyes. He doesn’t do anything to stop his tears either when he gets in front of them and gives them the softest look he’s ever given yet.
“Now?” Is all he asks, but Tsukasa knows what he means. He nods, exasperatedly, and he watches as the taller teen smiles warmly. He leans in, tilting his head slightly, before locking lips with Tsukasa.
Another burst of tears, he can taste them, and he’s sure Rui can too. Tsukasa makes sure to grip his hair, not letting him leave too early before Rui pulls out with a giggle. Emu makes something akin to a war cry and tackles Rui, kissing him on the face left and right. Rui laughs loudly, trying to make a sentence out, something about Emu tickling him. Tsukasa and Nene only watch with fond looks on their faces, then they look at each other.
Nene glances at his lips before biting her own. She's nervous, but he's absolutely smitten, emotions flooding him again and again, whenever he thinks of her, or of Emu or Rui. He goes in for a kiss, crashing his lips on hers. It’s awkward, as any first kiss goes. Neither of them have any experience, and for Tsukasa, Rui took all of the initiations. However, something about this feels right, as one of his hands grabs her hip and she cups his cheeks. They hear a cheer from Emu before messily breaking away.
His head is spinning, somehow in a good way. Ecstasy and joy overtake him when Emu topples him over and kisses him just like she did with Rui. But this time, Emu pecks more kisses on his lips, then buries her head under his chin. He sniffs her hair— sweet. Candy and cake, strawberries and vanilla, if pop had a scent, she’d be swimming in it. They’re both laying on the floor, and he hears a few papers crinkle underneath him. Rui merely laughs, not caring about his experiments at the moment, as he lays down with them, bringing Nene down as well.
They don’t need to say anything now, as Rui takes out his phone and starts playing their song. Tsukasa can’t stop the single tear that drops as they travel to Sekai.
When they get there, KAITO is waiting expectantly, his feet tip-tip-tapping as he sits on the green grass with a few other stuffed animals. When he spots them, they’re laughing boisterously, and Tsukasa is making it known that he loves them. He laughs tenderly, looking to his left. Luke was sitting here with him, explaining something about a stuffed animal who had figured out how to fly. But now? She was fast asleep, prettily laying on the ground as a sheep cuddled next to her.
He sighs thoughtfully, staring at the young couple. They were in pure bliss, kissing each other like it was their last day together, figuring out their boundaries, and questioning how they liked to be held or touched. KAITO locks eyes with Tsukasa, and he smiles. He smiles.
KAITO closes his eyes and lays down with Luka, hands behind his head. He doesn’t mind it when the sheep calls him “mommy,” or when a cat makes its way onto him and curls itself up. He’s just… happy.
And, thankfully, so is Tsukasa.
