Archive of Our Own ^beta

The thing about Ken was that he had never planned on becoming a fansite photographer. He just got roped into it. 

But what happened was that one photo changed everything.

It all started with Ken’s best friend, Justin. The younger male was a fansite for the really popular singer, Pablo, and he wanted to attend a music festival where the artist was going to perform. Unlike his rather fortunate friend, Ken didn’t really have any money, and most of what he earned from the two jobs he worked were sent back to the province to his grandmother. But Justin really wanted a companion, so he sprung for VIP tickets for both of them despite Ken’s protests.

“Think of it as an early birthday gift,” Justin said, as he carefully packed away his camera and lens and the extra cellphone he used in case of emergencies.

“But my birthday was just two months ago,” Ken pointed out.

Justin scoffed and ignored him. 

Honestly, Ken was thankful for Justin, but he sometimes felt embarrassed at how much his friend spent on him.

But off they went that fateful day, and because Justin was used to how things went and Ken was competitive by nature, they managed to push, pull, and crawl their way to an amazing spot right by the barricades beside the stage.

“Nice,” Ken said, looking around. “This is really cool. Thanks, Jah.”

“No problem,” Justin said. He handed Ken his extra phone. “But if you really want to thank me, take photos of Pablo and all the other artists. Their fans will appreciate it.”

“But I’m not a photographer like you,” Ken pointed out as he took the phone. Justin didn’t ask for much, so Ken was willing to oblige, even if he wasn’t sure how it would turn out.

Justin patted his shoulder. “Your hobby is drawing and sketching stuff. You’ve got a good eye. Just point and shoot. You might get lucky.”

And that was exactly what happened.

Ken knew about Josh Cullen. The guy was still a bit new in the music scene, but he was slowly gaining in popularity and had had a string of popular releases. So when he came on the stage, Ken was honestly curious about him, so much so that he took a photo.

Even now, Ken sometimes marveled at it.

Because just like Justin had said, Ken might get lucky, and he did.

Josh was looking right at Ken’s phone and nearly everything about it was perfect, from the way the light caught his profile, to his hair, his clothes, the come hither look in his eyes, and the expression on his face.

Ken felt like Josh had seen him— really seen him—amidst the crowd of fans.

It gave him butterflies in his stomach.

And the funny thing was, that was Ken’s only photo of him. After that rather heart-stopping moment, Ken had felt a bit embarrassed at using Justin’s phone for a different artist even if he had said it was okay—and maybe a tad embarrassed at his own thoughts and reaction—so he decided to take photos of Pablo instead, and then maybe keep that one photo of Josh for himself. But Justin saw Josh's photo later on as they were riding the bus back home.

“What the—I—it’s—” Justin stuttered.

“Is it bad?” Ken asked. He thought it looked good. Josh looked handsome, actually. Even Ken couldn’t help blushing whenever he looked at the photo.

“It’s amazing!” Justin exclaimed, sending Ken a gummy smile. “Actually, a lot of your shots are really good, even the ones from Pablo.” 

He snapped his fingers. “We have to put your watermark on this one before we post it!”

Ken looked at him in confusion. “But I don’t have one. I’m not a photographer or a fansite.”

Justin was starting to get riled up in his excitement. “Then I’ll make you one! I’ll put… hmmm… I’ll put FJ for your real name, Felip Jhon!”

Ken chuckled. “What? But Jah, it’s just one photo.”

Justin shook his head. “Even if it’s one photo, we have to put your mark on it! Credits are important, you know.”

“Well, if you’re going to put credits on it, at least say that it’s your phone I used,” Ken insisted.

Justin was already working on it, fiddling with his phone. “Fine. Fine. I’ll set it up for you. I’ll work on it now.”

So Justin created a watermark for him, a really pretty one with the initials of Ken’s real name. He then put it on Josh’s photo, and he did it really artfully too, right across his shirt which made it seem like part of the photo. Justin posted it on his social media account since Ken didn’t have one, and he then decided to use the same watermarks for all the other shots of Pablo that Ken had taken.

Ken's photo of Josh blew up overnight.

Justin only had a modest following, so it wasn’t as if they had expected anything to come from it. But a lot of Josh’s fans had picked up on Ken’s photo and had then shared it all over social media. And because of Justin’s artful editing, Ken’s FJ watermark ended up being part of the photo. Even when other people reposted it everywhere, Ken’s FJ was still there on Josh's shirt, forever immortalized.

The photo got even more attention when Josh himself shared it on his official accounts.

It wasn't long before people started asking Justin who was the FJ who had captured that really handsome photo of Josh. And because Justin was crazy, his solution was… 

“You have to keep going.”

“Keep what?”

Ken didn’t even look up from mopping the floors. Sometimes when he was free, Justin would visit the cafe Ken worked at to keep him company. Right now, Ken was on closing duty and Justin had offered to drive him home. Honestly, only half of Ken’s brain was in the conversation. He was wondering how much money he still had to send to his aunt. She said his grandmother had been prescribed additional medicine and it was pretty expensive.

“I meant you should keep taking photos of Josh,” Justin said. “And of Pablo too, or whoever else you want. Your Josh photo really blew up, and even the shots you took of Pablo are really popular.”

“I was just lucky.” Ken shrugged. 

“Or you have an eye for photography,” Justin insisted. “So come on and try it! And admit it, you liked Josh before, but now you became a bigger fan after that photo, right?”

Well… Ken couldn't forget the way Josh had looked right at him through the viewfinder…

“Look, I heard Josh is appearing on the Wish Bus this Friday.” Justin brought up the article on his social media account. “I'll come with you! That one doesn't need tickets and if you really don't like being a fansite, then I won’t bother you anymore.”

Ken rubbed his nape. He had been downplaying it, but he had felt really proud of his photo, and there was a certain thrill at being able to capture that perfect shot.

And if it’s someone as handsome as Josh…

“Okay then. Let’s try it.”

Ken's second most famous photo was Josh on the Wish Bus. Josh had been laughing at something the host had said, and Ken had managed to angle Justin’s phone just right to capture it.

Josh had his head thrown back mid-laugh, his expression carefree, and the light casting a perfect glow on him. 

One watermark from Justin—this time across the side of Josh’s jacket—and fansite FJ ended up with another hit.

Fans loved it. Josh reposted it again. Justin was already making plans for their next event.

And it only kept on from there.

Josh’s side profile while he was waving at a fan with FJ splashed across his shirt sleeve.

Josh making a funny face at the crowd with FJ emblazoned across the background like wall art.

Josh smiling right at the camera, teeth on display and eyes shining, with FJ across his chest.

Josh in a sleeveless shirt, showing off his arms, with FJ edited on the buckle of his belt.

A close up shot of Josh with his new purple hair, with little FJ marks along the collar of his shirt.

Josh liked and reposted each and every single photo.

Ken and Justin had an arrangement. Because Ken had to think about work and his grandmother, he couldn’t always take photos of Josh or attend his shows, especially the ones with really expensive tickets. Also, Ken didn’t have as much free time and wasn’t as active online as Justin. In the end, they decided to share Justin’s fansite account. Justin was Pablo-biased, but he followed other artists too, like that really popular singer Vester and even Josh, so it wasn’t a problem for him to post FJ’s photos. Justin also lent Ken his camera and his other equipment, though Ken was incredibly partial towards the phone that had started it all and still used it more than any other. As for the tickets, Ken had to put his foot down on Justin paying the bill on every show they went to together or even the ones where Ken wanted to go to see Josh. It wasn’t fair. Also, Ken was a realist, he didn’t want to spend all of his hard earned money irresponsibly, even if it was for a really, really cute guy. So even if he was tempted to do it, Ken kept his fansite appearances to a minimum.

But as with the confusing trend of people, FJ’s irregular appearances and lack of social media presence, coupled with his appealing photos and mysterious aura ended up becoming something of a fascination to other fans. Some of them would ask him—through Justin—which shows he was going to or if he was planning on taking photos of other artists aside from Josh. While Ken always mentioned which shows he was lucky enough to scrape money for, he never confirmed who he was and never met other fans. It wasn’t as if he was embarrassed about what he did, but he was a bit shy towards other people. It helped that Ken wore a lot of layers to cover up, though his red hair was always a bright beacon to people who knew him. (Sometimes he had to hide his hair because more and more people seemed to have found out that he had red hair.)

Eventually, people started to clue in on the fact that Ken avoided some of the pricier shows. It got to the point that some die-hard fans of Josh offered Ken extra VIP tickets just so he could take good photos of their idol. Ken was torn about taking them, but Justin, being the nosy and opportunistic bastard he was—though Ken loved him, really—willingly and painstakingly screened people for him and decided which tickets seemed okay to take. (Ken personally drew the line at accepting actual cash.)

So Ken’s hobby as a fansite photographer continued.

And with each photo, his attraction to Josh seemed to grow.

Josh holding out a rose as he sang a love song during one of his concerts, all while looking right at the camera, with FJ placed on the LED display behind him.

Josh and Pablo beaming at one another during a duet. (That concert almost had Justin hyperventilating. He had even broken his lightstick in his excitement.)

Then there was that series of photos of Josh topless on stage during a concert. 

Ken and Justin had a hell of a time figuring out where to put the damn watermark on two photos of Josh, one showing his back and another of his abs, until Ken decided to just paste a large FJ across Josh's bare and sexy back and then little FJs on each section of his six-pack abs with the caption: where the hell was I supposed to put them?!  

Fans found it hilarious. Josh reposted those with a series of laughing emojis.

That one had Ken smiling for weeks.

A pap photo of Josh outside his hotel with his manager waiting for their van. He had been looking around and had caught Ken’s camera. He had smiled and waved. FJ was stamped on his backpack and suitcase.

Josh looking up at the balcony—that had been the only available ticket—and had pointed right at the camera. FJ’s watermark was stretched across the stage beneath him.

A slightly tilted photo of Josh on his anniversary concert, holding out one of the envelopes that contained his signed polas right at Ken. Ken’s hand got caught in that photo, because he had taken the polaroid in surprise, while his other hand snapped a photo. FJ was on the envelope.

Josh’s pola featured a signed photo of him looking handsome while he played the guitar. The interesting part was that there was a letter F on the pocket of Josh’s shirt.

It was probably just a brand that Ken didn’t know about.

Maybe.

But all good things had to end eventually.

Half a year into this side hobby of his, Ken’s grandmother passed away.

usernameisnotavailable: FJ are you attending the highlight festival next week? Josh is the main act.
jahstlookingaround: [Jah] I will be there, but FJ won’t. See you guys.

ohminimini: fj fansite-nim are you attending josh’s photobook launch on saturday?
jahstlookingaround: [Jah] Neither of us will be available. Sorry.

ghostingkissing: sir jah when is sir fj’s next event?
jahstlookingaround: [Jah] No news yet. Sorry guys.

jahstlookingaround: Hi, this is Justin! FJ will be unavailable until further notice. Thank you.

jahstlookingaround: [FJ] Hi, this is FJ.

I’m sorry for the abrupt announcement, but I have decided not to continue my work as a fansite. This has been the most fun I’ve ever had and I really wish I can keep doing this. But sometimes there are things we have to let go of, even if they make us happy, because we have to face reality and the responsibilities that come with them.

To my fellow fansites, I salute each and every one of you for your hard work and dedication. It has been an honor to become part of your community, even for a short time.

To Josh, I wish you all the success in the world. You deserve it. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. I will forever be a fan. Thank you.

If you need me, you can reach out to Justin.

Thank you.

Justin read the letter for the umpteenth time. Ken had posted it two days ago, and it was still gaining traction even now. He glanced at his friend, who was curled up on Justin’s bed looking listless as he stroked Justin’s cat, Saoirse.

Ken had been gone from social media for about three months now, ever since his grandmother had passed and he had to fly back to the province. The trip and the burial had sucked him dry financially, but the ensuing mess seemed to have broken his spirit.

Justin couldn’t imagine how Ken was feeling upon finding out that his hard-earned money had gone to opportunistic, devilish relatives rather than his ailing grandmother, nor the heartbreak that came from having to cut ties with most of them.

In truth, the only reason Ken had even made it back to the city was because, in a rare moment, he had begged Justin to lend him money for a plane ticket home.

Ken still had two jobs—because his bosses were kind and Ken was a polite and hardworking employee—and he still had that tiny apartment that he called home. He also had Justin and his family, because his parents and brothers all adored Ken and Justin would be damned if he left his best friend alone.

Ken was free, in a sense.

But he wasn’t happy.

“Ken, are you really sure you want to stop?” Justin asked softly. “Being a fan made you happy.”

“I’m fine,” Ken said in a monotone voice. “I just need to get over this.”

But how did one get over a broken heart?

Justin sighed. He turned back to his phone, scrolling through his contacts, only for his eyes to widen when he received a private message.

joshcullen_s: hello justin

Justin knew he made some sort of noise, maybe a gasp. Ken lifted his head.

“What is it?”

“Er…” Justin looked at him then back at his phone. He checked the account. It really was Josh Cullen’s verified account. “Ken, you might want to see this.”

Ken crawled over and Justin showed him the phone.

Ken’s eyes widened.

joshcullen_s: hello justin
joshcullen_s: i was wondering if you could help me get in touch with FJ?
jahstlookingaround: Hello, Kuya Josh! FJ is not available at the moment. Do you need him for something?
joshcullen_s: i read the letter he posted & i was wondering if I can do something to help

Justin turned to Ken. “What do you want to do?”

“What do you think he wants?” Ken asked. 

For the first time in a long while, Justin thought Ken looked a little alive. He even looked nervous, which Justin thought was a change from being so down and depressed.

“Maybe he just wants to thank you. He’s always been nice to fans,” Justin pointed out. “Do you want me to send him your personal account?”

Ken hesitated.

“Come on. It’s better if you talk to him yourself, right?” Justin insisted. “I’ll send it.”

jahstlookingaround: Here’s FJ's private account, Kuya Josh. It’s @keunishere. His nickname is Ken.
joshcullen_s: thank you justin, i hope to meet you soon
jahstlookingaround: No problem, Kuya. Me too.

Justin glanced at Ken. Ken already had his phone out. Justin noticed that the signed polaroid of Josh that Ken had received was on the back of his cellphone case.

Justin sent off another message.

jahstlookingaround: Ken’s been depressed over personal stuff, Kuya Josh. I hope you can cheer him up.
jahstlookingaround: But if you make him sadder, I will post every single unflattering photo of you that we have.
joshcullen_s: noted, and i’ll try, thank you justin, i really am concerned over him

Ken felt his heart beating a bit faster when he received Josh’s first message.

joshcullen_s: hello FJ
keunishere: hello idol josh
keunishere: FJ comes from my real name, but everyone calls me ken
joshcullen_s: ok, nice to finally meet you ken
keunishere: jah said you were looking for me?
joshcullen_s: yes, i just wanted to thank you for all of your photos of me and for attending my shows
joshcullen_s: i read your letter and i was wondering if there’s something i can do to help you after the way you’ve been so good to me
keunishere: i’m fine, it’s not something you can really help me with
joshcullen_s: i’m sorry to hear that, but can i do anything to make you feel better?
keunishere: your songs make me feel better, and getting this chance to talk to you is great, thank you
joshcullen_s: i really wanted to thank you for all of your photos of me, they’re amazing
keunishere: it’s not hard to take good photos because you always look good
joshcullen_s: oh.
keunishere: AH! sorry! i didn’t mean anything by it! it was just a compliment!
joshcullen_s: but did you like my pola tho?
keunishere: what?
joshcullen_s: the one i handed to you during my anniv con
keunishere: you knew that was me?
joshcullen_s: it took me a while to figure out and even my team went looking but yeah, i noticed you and the red hair and i’m glad i found you

Ken blushed. 

Oh.

A week later, during a guesting at a popular music show, Josh performed wearing a jacket with the letters F and J stamped on either side of his chest.

FJ posted his first photo in a few months with the caption: ‘i guess i don’t need a watermark this time.’

jahstlookingaround: [FJ] Hi, this is FJ.

You might have noticed I posted some new photos of idol Josh. While I can’t promise I’ll be more active, I’ve decided to keep on being a fansite as best as I can. I enjoy going to cons and being with fans, and Josh is my idol, so I want to keep doing it.

And just a tip on something I learned recently: Don’t be afraid to let go of toxic people, do the things that make you happy, and hang on to the people who make you smile.

To Justin, you're part of that. Thank you. You're the greatest friend I could have asked for.

So yeah, see you guys around. Or not. You don’t know me anyway.

joshcullen_s: i know you tho 😉 see you FJ
keunishere: not if i see you first, idol 🥰