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“I can’t believe Miya’s graduating already,” Kaoru says. He feels like a walking cliche the moment the sentence leaves his mouth, but Kojiro just sighs and nods.
“I know,” he says quietly. “D’you think he’ll be alright?”
“Of course,” Kaoru says sharply. “He’s always been independent.” It’s true, for better or for worse.
“Yeah, I know… I just hope he makes friends.”
Kaoru loops his arm with Kojiro’s. “He will, I’m sure. Look.” He gestures to Langa and Reki and a few other skaters from S surrounding Miya and bombarding him with questions about his big move to Tokyo to go to university.
“You’re right,” Kojiro says, patting Kaoru’s hand. “He’s grown a lot, hasn’t he?”
“God, we’re old,” Kaoru moans.
Kojiro grins. “Nah. We’re just being sentimental.”
“What’s the difference?”
“The difference,” Kojiro says, mock-serious as he tucks a strand of Kaoru’s hair so that it’s out of his face. “Is that you still have maddenly perfect skin. What’s your secret?”
“The secret is that I wash my face and moisturize, unlike a gorilla I know.”
“Hey! I moisturize.”
“With what? Leftover cooking oil?”
“Shush up already, it looks like Miya’s ready to open presents.”
The majority of the party is gathering around the tables that have been pushed together in the main room at Sia La Luce; the restaurant’s been closed for the evening for a going away celebration for Miya and his friends. His parents still haven’t called Miya to ask when he’s coming home, which isn’t exactly out of the ordinary, but Kaoru frowns when he looks at his watch. It’s getting late.
“Open my gift first!” Reki insists, shoving a small wrapped box in Miya’s hands.
Miya huffs like he’s annoyed, but he can’t fully fight the smile tugging the corners of his mouth. He tears into the wrapping paper and opens the box, revealing a palm-sized hardrive. “What is it?”
“Our roommate’s a game designer!” Reki says, eyes lighting up with excitement. “He’s being sponsored by a major studio, but he was able to sneak me a beta version of his game. It’s so freakin’ cool, I know you’ll love it! Just, uh, maybe don’t tell anybody about it?”
“Breaking a law just to give me a present. I’m touched,” Miya deadpans. He scowls when Reki just grins and ruffles his hair.
“You’re welcome, dude!”
Miya grabs another present at random. “Who’s this from?”
“Us,” Kojiro says. “Kaoru and me, I mean.”
Miya raises an eyebrow, but says nothing as he rifles through the wrapping tissue. He pulls out a sleek tablet and looks at Kaoru with a tilt to his head.
“That’s custom-built with Carla. It can sync up with your other devices, no matter what software they use. And I’ve included a couple of applications that may be useful for your studies and skating sessions.”
“Oh…” Miya’s eyes are wide, like he’s genuinely surprised.
Kaoru swallows. He watches as Miya continues rifling through the bag.
“That’s a gift card for a cookware store near your dorm,” Kojiro explains as Miya pulls out the next part of his present. “I figure you’d want to pick out the stuff you want on your own, but totally give me a call if you need advice or anything. I know you won’t have a full kitchen, but there’s still plenty of stuff you can get that will let you cook properly.”
“I was planning on just eating ramen and drinking energy drinks just like any normal college student,” Miya says with a smirk.
“You’d better not,” Kojiro warns.
The last thing in the bag is a card. Miya opens it and silently reads. When he’s finished, he looks up at Kaoru and Kojiro with tears in his eyes.
“What’s it say?” Langa asks.
“Time for dessert!” Kojiro says loudly. “We can finish opening presents later. Langa, Reki—you’re on serving duty, chop-chop.”
He pats Kaoru’s hand again. Miya pretends to be busy messing with his new tablet. Kaoru and Kojiro tentatively approach him.
“We mean it, Miya,” Kaoru says quietly, so the other guests can’t hear. “Kojiro and I are very proud of you.”
“You’ve grown up to be a really cool dude,” Kojiro adds. “I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun in Tokyo, but just know you have a lot of people who care about you at home.”
“You…” Miya starts then trails off, slightly blushing. “You two have always been there for me. I won’t forget that. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome,” Kaoru says. It’s not often Miya is emotional like this in front of others, so he gently pats his shoulder. “Come on. Let’s get some cake before Langa eats it all.”
After dessert, it’s a long night of more gift opening, exchanging stories, and trying out Miya’s new video game. When a car comes to bring Miya home, the party fizzles out.
Before he leaves, Miya runs to Kaoru and Kojiro to hug them both tightly, and then bolts for the door.
***
Kaoru stays behind to help Kojiro clean up. As he stacks the chairs, he hears the familiar pop of a wine bottle being uncorked.
“Pour me a glass, will you?”
“Of course, darling. What— do you expect me to drink alone?”
“More pouring, less talking, brute.”
“Yes, Sakurayashiki-san.”
Kaoru huffs, stacking the last chair, and stomps to the kitchen. Kojiro extends a glass of red wine to him when he appears, then takes off his chef’s uniform.
“Come, let’s sit.”
He leads them over to one of the booths and instead of sitting opposite of Kaoru, he slides right next to him and raises his glass. “To our little Miya, all grown up.”
Kaoru purses his lips but clinks his glass against Kojiro’s. They each take a long sip. The wine has hints of dark chocolate and cherry, and it warms Kaoru immediately.
“He’s not actually ours , I hope you know.”
Kojiro grins. “Yeah. It’s hard not to feel protective over him, though. Y’know? He’s not like Langa and Reki. He’s like…”
“Adam,” Kaoru finishes for him.
“He’s not like him,” Kojiro says, almost defensive.
“Please. I know you care about Miya, but you’d really be an idiot not to see the similarities. That doesn’t mean he’ll turn out the same. He’s already so much more… compassionate.”
Kojiro sighs. “You’re right.”
“I always am.”
Kojiro grins. “So. What’re we gonna do now that we’re empty nesters?”
Kaoru rolls his eyes. “Will you stop it already with the parenting talk?”
“You’re good at it, you know.”
“What?”
“Parenting. I know Miya wasn’t our kid— I mean, your kid. But the way you helped him study, made sure he was taking care of himself, that he wasn’t hurting… You’d make a wonderful father.”
Kaoru blinks, then shakes his head. “I’m not… built for something like that.”
“Kaoru, tell me you’re joking.”
“Why would I joke about that? I’m focused entirely on my career— on myself —and I don’t know if I’m even capable of being warm like a real parent should be. I’m not like you.”
Kojiro stares at Kaoru, mouth agape.
Kaoru blushes, failing to hide it as he takes a long sip of wine. “Careful, you’d better close your mouth before you catch fruit flies.”
“I’m sorry,” Kojiro says, sounding not very sorry at all. “I’m just trying to understand how you have such a distorted view of yourself.”
“What, you think you know me better than I know myself?” Kaoru snaps.
“No,” Kojiro says. “But I think you’re a lot more harsh and critical of yourself than you realize.”
Kaoru sighs and rubs his temple. “What are we even talking about anymore?”
“I’m just saying,” Kojiro presses on, nostrils slightly flared in his frustration. “That should you want kids, you are more than capable. You are a warm person. Sure, you might be reserved, but I can’t even count the times you’ve just so easily said or did the right exact thing to support Miya. Hell, even tonight, you said what he needed— what he deserved —to hear. That you were proud of him. To a kid like that, it means a lot.”
Kaoru raises his eyebrows. He hopes it’s not obvious the way his heart is racing right now. “Well then. You sound like you’ve certainly thought about this a lot.”
“How could I not?” Kojiro asks, his deep red eyes wide and earnest.
“You’re making me uncomfortable, Kojiro.”
Kojiro nods, taking a sip of his wine. “Sorry. Maybe I got carried away.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Kaoru shrugs. “It feels like we haven’t talked like this in years.”
“Jesus,” Kojiro breathes out a laugh. “We really do sound like an old married couple.”
Kaoru laughs, too. “Remember that day at the beach? Miya called us mommy and daddy, the little shit.”
“That was a good day. A good trip,” Kojiro grins.
“Yes, except for all the god-awful mud.”
“Right,” Kojiro laughs again. “Totally ruined our moment in the hot springs.”
Kaoru raises an eyebrow and takes another sip. “Our moment ?”
“Oh come on,” Kojiro rolls his eyes, and refills both their glasses. “Don’t pretend you didn’t notice.”
“If by moment you mean that we were both naked and you’re aroused by a rock if it has the right shape, then sure.”
“No,” Kojiro says. “You looked so beautiful, under the moonlight. Your skin was dewy and you smelled like lavender.”
“Did I?” Kaoru says, managing to hide the way he choked on his sip of wine.
“Uh huh.”
“I think you’ve had too much wine.”
“Mmm.” Kojiro takes another sip. “Maybe.”
“What about you?”
“Huh?”
“You seem the type to want a big family. Thinking of settling down with someone? Having an ungodly amount of children?”
Kojiro hums again. “Maybe.”
“Tch. Which one of Joe’s lucky groupies will it be, then?”
Kojiro shrugs. “I don’t know if they’re into me.”
“Well, I’m sure if you just flex those ridiculous muscles of yours, they’ll swoon and spread their legs in a second.”
“I don’t know,” Kojiro almost sounds sad. “I’ve tried flirting with them, but they don’t seem to get it.”
“It’s not like you to be so shy,” Kaoru teases. “Why don’t you just tell them how you feel?”
“You think so? What if it scares them off?”
“Then it wasn’t meant to be.”
Kojiro laughs. “You make heartbreak sound so easy.”
“You must really love this girl.”
Kojiro shakes his head. “I love him .”
Kaoru swallows. His face suddenly feels very hot. “I see.”
“You really think I should say how I feel?” Kojiro asks the question again.
Kaoru understands it this time. He slowly nods. “I do.”
Kojiro blushes hard and for a moment he stares at his own fingers as they nervously grasp at the stem of his wine glass. Finally, he meets Kaoru’s eyes again.
“Kaoru. I love you. I have for a long time. But the last few years really have been a whirlwind, and it’s only been recently that I’ve been able to sort out my feelings. And, well… Maybe it is the wine, maybe I am feeling sentimental, but… God, Kaoru. I love you so much.”
“Is that it?” Kaoru asks.
Kojiro rubs his eyes. “Please, don’t tease me right now.”
Kaoru scoots closer to him on the booth, and gently pries his hands from his face. “Kojiro. It genuinely scares me how much I love you. But I’m grateful for it. I’m grateful for you . You’re my best friend, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”
Tears drip down Kojiro’s face. “You see? How can you say you’re not warm when you go and say something like that?”
Kaoru’s smile is shaky. “Now what?”
“I dunno,” Kojiro admits. “Should I flex my ridiculous muscles for you?”
Kaoru wacks him on the chest, then pulls him in for a tight hug. “Later.” He holds him tighter when he feels Kojiro’s deep laughter vibrate against his body.