Chapter Text
[We open to a shot of the giant desk in Expunged's bedroom, upon which a television made of simple polygons has been placed. Also sitting on the desk are Dave, Bambi, Bandu, and Ringi. Dave has his wheelchair positioned in front of the TV. Bambi is seated on Dave's lap, holding a popcorn bucket filled with regular corn. Bandu is sitting on the ground next to Dave's wheelchair, and Ringi is using an amorphous glowing blob on the desk as a beanbag chair. Standing over the desk is Expunged, who is also looking at the TV.]
Dave: Oh, hey there, everybody! Now that Bambi and I have started getting used to this place, we've decided to start doing something fun with the people that live here so that we can get acquainted with our new friends. Thus, here we are to read a story about ourselves together!
Ringi: (chuckles) Man, when you put it that way, it makes us sound like a bunch o' narcissists.
Bandu: Oh, nonsense! Reading stories about yourself is fun! You get to see what other people really think about you!
Ringi: That doesn't...that doesn't sound like a lot of fun, Bandu. Especially not for...uh... (mumbling) someone like you.
Bandu: Hm? What'd ya say again? Kinda trailed off there, buddy.
Ringi: Oh, nothin', don't worry too much about it.
(Bandu is about to say something again, but is cut off by Dave.)
Dave: A-Anyway! We're gonna be reading a series called "He's Just Toying With His Food" by MazeWithoutTint! Huh...that's kind of a weird name. Is it foreign or something?
Bambi: (looking up at Dave) Hm? No, no, Dave, that are not their real name. You seeing, on internet websites you can putting anything as what your name are. Very few people are go by their actual name online.
Dave: Oh, is that what it is? That makes a lot more sense, heh. Thanks, Bambi.
Bambi: Anytime.
Dave: Alright, I need to stop getting distracted. This series has a bunch of stories about us that I'm sure will be very interesting to read! This first one we'll be reading for today is called-
Bandu: "OMG GUYS THERE ARE ALIENS HERE IT REAL!!! (not clickbait)"!
(Bambi jumps out of Dave's lap in surprise and begins frantically looking around.)
Bambi: Huh!? What!? Wh-Where!?
Bandu: Woah, hey, calm down, Mr. Bambi! It's just the story title!
(Bambi pauses and takes a look at the TV screen, which shows the story's title to be accurate. He then turns back to Bandu, also causing him to catch Ringi giving him a dirty look.)
Bambi: ...o-oh. Sorry, is my bad. I'll just... (glances up at Ringi; mumbling) I'll just sitting back down now...
(Bambi gets back up onto Dave's lap, the owner of which is smiling in amusement.)
Dave: Okay, now, now, for real this time. With a title like that, I'm excited to see where this story starts!
Somewhere in Brazil, there is a corn farm. It used to be a maze, but after being "bought" by some random angry midget named Bambi, it became a farm. Thanks to him, nobody ever visited the farm because he protected it like a guard dog.
(Bambi puts his hands on his hips in a superhero pose, beaming with pride.)
Bambi: Yup, I am take very good caring of the farm. Nobody are steal any of my corn when I around.
(Beat)
Bambi: Wait, what was it just call me!?
Bambi sat on a bench outside of a barn, eating a cob of corn and using a pair of binoculars to scout for anyone witty enough to enter his domain. His friend Dave, although disabled and forced to use a wheelchair, rolled up to Bambi and sat beside him.
"Hey Dave." Bambi said, not looking away.
Dave waved. "Heyo. You remember what today is, right?"
Bambi shook his head. "Don't know, don't care." He grumbled.
Bambi: (suddenly irate) What? No, I are wanna know what day is being!
Dave: Hey, hey, Bambi, calm down! I'm sure the story's still gonna tell us.
Bambi: (calms down instantly) Oh. Yeah, I guessing that are make sense.
Ringi: (under his breath) Seems about right...
Dave raised an eyebrow. Not saying a word, he raised his hand, and clenched it. Suddenly a rift in the fabric of reality opened right next to Dave, distorting everything within ten inches of it.
Dave: (startled) Woah! I-I can just, like, do that!? Like, that easily?
(Expunged leans down closer to the TV, seemingly interested.)
Out of the rift came humanoid beings made of 3D shapes. Dave knew them as Bandu...
Bandu: Ooh, ooh, that's me, that's me! (excitedly flies up to Expunged's face) Look, look, bro, it's me! I'm in the story!
(Everyone looks up at the two, mildly amused. Expunged continues to smile while ignoring its brother, but its patience is clearly being tested.)
...Ringi and Bambom. Once they were out of the rift, Dave opened his hand, and the rift sealed up.
Dave: Bambom?
Ringi: Oh yeah, li'l Bommy. You haven't met 'im yet, but he's just the cutest li'l bastard I've ever met. I'm gonna have to introduce y'all at some point, he's a great kid.
"How about now?" Dave said.
Bambi lowered his binoculars and shrieked at the sight of the polygonal beings before him. Without thinking, he chucked his binoculars at them. Bandu got smacked in the face by it and his eyes turned into X's.
Ringi: Hey! Don't throw your shit at people, dick!
(Bambi briefly glances at Ringi with an uncomfortable expression.)
"Hey!" Ringi shouted. "Don't throw your garbage at us!"
Ringi: My point exactly!
Bandu: (worried) Ringi...
"Don't show up like that without warning me!" Bambi retorted. He hopped down from the bench and glared at Dave. "Why didn't you tell me you could bring 3D people to the 2D world?"
Dave blinked. That wasn't the complaint he was expecting. "I always could..? I mean, we went over to the 3D Realm with no effort..."
Dave: (laughs) No effort? Hahaha... (suddenly gains a saddened look) I wish it was that easy...
This didn't exactly answer Bambi, but he took it as one and nodded accordingly. "Alright... why are you guys here?"
"Dave said you'd show us around!" Bambom chimed. "Said that this place is cool!"
Bambi turned to glare at Dave again. Dave sighed heavily. "Bambi, remember when I said that we'd be going out today with our friends? This is what I meant."
"I see..." Bambi murmured.
Ringi: So wait, if y'all are just takin' us to look around your world, what am I doing here? I've seen the 2D world all the time.
Bandu: Maybe you haven't in this story. Plus, someone's gotta watch over Bambom out there.
Ringi: Bah, he'd be fine, Bommy can handle himself.
Bandu: Ringi... Ringi, he's five.
Ringi: ...he's a very knowledgeable five-year-old.
Dave then looked up at the 3D beings. "Sorry about him."
Bandu's eyes returned to normal and he smiled happily. "It's a-ok!"
"Cool..." Dave nodded. "Say, where's Bendu? And your brother?"
Dave: Wait, wait, Bendu? Wow, there's so many of you guys I still need to meet, huh?
Ringi: Yep, we're all over the damn place. Bendu's a pretty cool guy too, really into the Spanish stuff from y'all's world. We should bring 'im on at some point, he'd be stoked to read somethin' like this.
Bandu: Ooh, I'd love to meet him!
"Bendu is busy hosting familia at his house." Bandu said, casually making his 11 phones spin around himself. "And my bro? I looked everywhere for him! I couldn't find him!"
"Perhaps it's for the better." Ringi whispered. "Cuz... you know... compared to us, he'd probably give all the 2D folks heart attacks."
Bandu: What? Nah, c'mon, Expunged would love going out for a trip! Ain't that right, bro?
(Expunged stares intently at the screen, then down at Bambi. Bambi begins to sweat nervously as Expunged's gaze continues to intensify.)
Bandu: See? He's already excited just from reading about it!
Dave, Bambi and Bandu quietly agreed with Ringi. Bambom was preoccupied with the existence of dirt and grass and everything else in this strange new world he came into. In the 3D Realm, you'd have to take control of the entire surrounding area if you wanted to create even a smidge of life. It was easy, but it also caused feuds between others. Bambom remembered seeing the shifting abyss switch between red and green because Expunged and Bandu couldn't come to a compromise. He was glad that everything in the 2D world stayed as it was, but it sure was weird. At least the corn swaying in the wind brought him a sense of familiarity.
Bambi: Ah, corn. The true of unifiers among any alive being.
Bambom looked to the others, who were now silent, seemingly waiting for something to suddenly go wrong from whom they whispered about. Except Bambi, who was idly bopping his head with a smile. Expunged was Bandu's powerful, terrifying, unpredictable older brother. He was huge, like a skyscraper. He could shapeshift into other people. He heard and saw all. Nothing escaped him. He can take control of the entire 3D Realm with a single thought, and the only one able to rival him was his own brother. Expunged always sported a grin of sorts, and his voice barely changed tones with his emotions, so nobody truly knew what he was feeling at any given moment. But should you manage to anger him, you would most likely be tortured, and when you think it's over and you're moments from freedom, he has you for lunch. Angering him was a challenge, yet particularly easy if you knew how to get under his polygonized skin. It was especially easy to anger him if you cheated. Expunged HATED it when anything cheated. Cheating made things unfair to others. Cheating was how most humans ended up in the 3D Realm. Almost none of them made it out alive.
A few minutes passed, and absolutely nothing happened. They relaxed a bit. They weren't in the 3D Realm, they were in an entirely new world. A place free from Expunged's haunting presence. There's no way he could find them...
(Dave and Ringi simultaneously glance over to Bandu, who has an offended and mildly saddened look on his face.)
Dave: (worried) Er, Bandu? Are you...are you doing alright over there?
(Bandu remains silent, subtly shaking his head. Suddenly, he shoots back up to Expunged's face and gives it a big hug from the side, which mostly just ends up looking like he's smushing his body into the side of Expunged's head.)
Bandu: I-I'm so sorry, bro...I-I didn't think this story would be so mean to you! Gosh, they make you sound so...so horrible!
(Expunged continues to stare at the TV, completely ignoring its brother. Dave, Bambi, and Ringi have all begun to look up at the scene with baffled intrigue, but choose to stay out of the situation for now.)
Bandu: Look, i-if this keeps goin' on, don't be embarrassed to admit if it becomes too much. If no one else'll stop the project then, I will. J-Just say the word, aight?
(Expunged remains silent in its staring, and eventually Bandu floats back down to his spot on the floor, though he retains his less-than-optimistic expression. Dave, Bambi, and Ringi look towards each other before simply shrugging and continuing the story.)
Bandu looked around in awe. "So this is what your farm looks like... I love it!"
Bambi smirked, his chest puffed out in pride. "Why thank you. I bought this place myself! No one gonna take it away from me now."
(Dave audibly snickers, catching the attention of Bambi.)
Bambi: What is you laugh about, Dave?
Dave: Nothing, nothing...Just thinkin' about what happened to the guy you 'bought' that farm from.
(Dave snickers again. Bambi shoots him an annoyed look, but eventually just turns back to the screen.)
Bandu chortled, his phones spinning around himself more quickly than before. Ringi went up into the air and flew around the farm. He did this a few times before coming back down. A massive smile was on his face.
"By the rings on my being, did I underestimate this place!" Ringi exclaimed. "There's so much stuff! So much detail! It's so weird! Bambom, what do you think?"
"I love this floor!" Bambom said happily. He kicked the ground with a foot, and a small cloud of dirt floated in front of him. "So cool! What is this brown stuff called? It's all puffy! And it falls to the floor instead of staying floaty!"
"That, my dear strawberry-restricted friend," said Dave. "Is dirt."
Bambom's eyes sparkled, his pupils becoming huge. "I love dirt!" He sang. "Dirt is so cool! Magical!"
Ringi: Ayup, that sounds like Bommy, alright. You could show him a tree or a big rock and he'd be fascinated for hours.
Bambom kicked up more clouds of dirt, and watched them calmly fall back to earth before doing it again. Ringi quickly joined Bambom, which resulted in more dirt clouds and them getting covered in the strange new powdery stuff. It looked like the two were ragdolls spazzing out in a physics simulation. Bandu floated next to Dave and Bambi, still awestruck as ever.
Dave relaxed in his wheelchair. "You don't get this kind of stuff in the 3D Realm, huh?"
Bandu shook his head. "Nope. It's all shapes there, all a lot less detailed than the 2D world. The smallest shape I've ever seen is one of my candies, and even that is small. So this dirt stuff is alien to us, if that makes sense."
Bandu: 'Bout sums it up, yeah. This plane doesn't do fine details well without my big bro doing the job for it.
(Bandu looks up giddily at Expunged, who in turn looks down at Bambi's corn bucket with pride in its eyes.)
"It does, it does." Dave agreed. Just wait until you hear about atoms, he thought, grinning.
"HEY! Can you two chill?!" Bambi shouted. "You're getting dirt on me!"
Ringi and Bambom stopped frolicking in the dirt, their separated body parts rearranging until they were slightly hovering above the ground. They turned to Bambi with glistening eyes. "Sorry..." they murmured in unison.
Bambi grunted. He walked over to a hose by the barn, and twisted the faucet in the ground. "Get over here. You need cleaning." He said gruffly.
Bambi: Bah, I would never saying such thing. Being a farmer taking much willingness to getting dirty all day. There are no way I would complaining about them play in dirt...if anything, I would probably joining in myself!
Ringi and Bambom exchanged glances. Come to think of it, they were pretty dirty. And removing every particle of dirt would take forever. They came up to Bambi, only for the farmer to suddenly point the hose at them and spray water all over their dirt-ridden bodies. Ringi and Bambom screamed and fell apart, only to reform and shake themselves like wet dogs in an attempt to get the water off themselves. Bambi laughed.
Bandu marveled at what was happening like a surprised cartoon character. "Woah! What is that?" He asked.
Bambi's head whipped towards Bandu, a wild grin on his face. "Ya wanna find out too?"
"UH-"
Before Bambi could execute his plan, Dave had to come along and ruin it. He grabbed the hose and sprayed Bambi with it, causing the little man to shriek and hop backwards in surprise. Dave turned off the faucet and dropped the hose.
(Bambi moves his hands into a position as if he were crossing a pair of arms.)
Bambi: Wow, rude much?
Dave: You were about to do the same thing to Bandu!
Bambi: Yeah, but, like...but, like...that are different.
Dave: ...how?
Bambi: It just are.
Ringi: Oh, boo hoo. Walk it off, tiny.
(Dave, Bambi, and Bandu give Ringi simultaneous surprised looks. Ringi looks mildly surprised himself at this.)
Bandu: Sheesh, what was that about?
Ringi: (sighs) Sorry, man, just kinda said that on impulse. I-I'll shut up now...
(Dave, Bambi, and Bandu turn back to the TV with mild discomfort, with Bambi taking a second longer than the other two.)
"It's water." Dave said matter-of-factly. "I don't know how water works in the 3D Realm, but judging by your reactions, I'm guessing it's different."
Bandu formed an arm using his phones and picked up the hose. He examined it closely. "It is. Water comes out in blobs. It gets small, but not dirt small. And it doesn't stick either." He explained. "But it does wash off stuff!"
"Interesting..."
Bambi hissed in annoyance. "Well either way it makes me wet." He grumbled.
(Bandu snickers to himself, trying and failing to keep quiet. Dave and Bambi look at him bewildered, while Ringi just rolls his eyes.)
Dave smiled bashfully. He went and grabbed some towels to dry everyone off with, the sensation of which both greatly pleased and freaked out Ringi and Bambom. The 3D Realm didn't have textures among other things. It was one of the many differences between the two dimensions.
Dave wiped his hands on a towel. "You know, there is a lot more to this world than just Bambi's farm. I was thinking we could go to the city."
Bandu's pupils turned into question marks. "City? You mean the big blocks over there?" He clarified, pointing to the buildings in the distance with his phone arm.
"Yup!" Dave confirmed. "I know you like 3D Hut, and the stores in your world, but how about trying some 2D things?"
Bandu: Whoa, you mean y'all have all of that bunched up in one small place?
Dave: Kind of, yeah. Cities usually aren't that small, but they do have lots of stores and other places all over that provide all kinds of services.
Bandu: Dang, that sounds really cool! If we ever get you back to your world, you've gotta show me one of those.
Ringi: ...Bandu, we have cities in the 3D world too, y'know.
Bandu: Wait, we do!?
(Beat)
Ringi: Bandu, how much do you leave your house?
Bandu: Almost never. I just kinda make my own food and stuff like that.
Ringi: Yeah, that...explains a lot, actually.
Bandu, Ringi and Bambom all gave each other skeptical looks. Bambom floated up to Dave and whispered in his ear. "You got strawberries right?"
"We got 2D strawberries, yes." Dave said. "And we have things made with em too, if you'd like that."
Bambom rocketed a few feet from where he floated and came back down. He squealed his delight for this knowledge. The others giggled in amusement. Even Bambi did as he ate a cob of fresh corn cuz he felt like it.
"I think that answers it!" Ringi chimed.
Dave: Wait, so is that like, his thing? He really likes strawberries?
Ringi: Pretty much, yeah. Wouldn't call it a big defining "thing", but they are his favorite food by a long shot.
"Yeah!" Bandu cheered. His phone arm rearranged into a phone arrow, and he pointed to the distant buildings with a huge smile. "Let's go!"
The group got into Bambi's car.
Bambi: Whoa, wait, I can driving in this? Aren't that something...
Dave: You can't drive, Bambi? H-How have you gone this long without that?
Bambi: I mean, who are needing to driving when I can doing that?
(Bambi points to an area behind Dave. Dave, Bandu, and Ringi all look in that direction, but don't find anything. When they turn back to look at Bambi again, however, he's suddenly perched on top of the TV with his bucket of corn in hand.)
Dave: ...Fair point.
Despite Bambi being the size of two hotdogs, he could still drive, and that's exactly what he did. They vroomed off, away from the farm, and to the city. Bandu stuck his head out the window like a dog. Bambom sung along to the tunes in the car, much to Bambi's annoyance. But considering this was their first time here, he let them. Those that happened to witness this gaggle of oddities were immediately washed over with pure happiness thanks to Ringi's excitement.
(When the camera returns to the readers, Bambi has gone back to Dave's lap.)
Dave: ...Okay, I'm sorry if all these questions are too much, but is that really a thing you can do, Ringi?
Ringi: Bah, don't worry about it, I know you're still new. Yeah, my body's 100% serotonin, so I can spray that shit around whenever I wanna make people happy. Hm...probably would've been good to remember that earlier...
When they reached the city, the 3D beings were overcome with wonder and awe. The tall buildings surrounded them, with flying colors and beautiful works of art more detailed than anything they've ever seen in their lives. Bambi parked the car and Dave paid for it, because apparently there is no free parking in both the 2D World and the 3D Realm.
They all got out. Dave pulled out a flier and skimmed through it. "Ok, so, we have a number of different places we can visit in the city. We g-"
"WHERE CAN WE GET FOOD? I'M HUNGRY!" Bambi screeched, drawing all attention to him. He covered his mouth.
(Dave, Bambi, Bandu, and Ringi are all surprised at this.)
Ringi: Sheesh! That was abrupt...
Dave: Kinda rude, too...
Ringi: ...I mean, guess it's sticking to-
(Bambi is about to interrupt Ringi, but before he can get a word out...)
Bandu: Okay, Ringi, I'm begging you, I need you to stop it with the grudge thing. We're over that now, everything's been taken care of, can we please just move on already?
(Not a word is said for a moment. Bandu has an expression of mild annoyance, Ringi looks at Bandu stunned, and Dave and Bambi don't dare to intervene.)
Ringi: I-I...I just...
Bandu: (sighs) I know you two didn't have a great first impression. Could you please just, like, give him a chance? At least for me?
(Bandu looks up at Ringi with puppy dog eyes. Eventually, Ringi's eyes move over to Bambi, who briefly looks back with an awkward glance but otherwise holds his gaze at the corn in his lap.)
Ringi: I...I guess I could try and hold back. Sorry, didn't think about...how annoying that was...
Bandu: It's fine, it's fine, just...sorry, let's just go back to the story.
(All four readers look back to the TV, but an aura of uncomfortableness continues to linger.)
Dave squinted at Bambi. Bandu whirled around excitedly. "I agree with Bambi! Let's get something to eat first!"
"Yeah! Yeah!" Bambom chimed. "Do they have strawberries? I want strawberries! They're the best!"
Ringi nodded in agreement. Dave sighed. "Alright. I know a place nearby. But Bambi, you literally just had a corn cob - how are you still hungry??"
"How can your wheelchair move despite not having proper mechanics?" Bambi retorted. Dave opened his mouth to argue, but said nothing. "See? We both got weird unexplainable things about us. Now let's go!" He shouted.
Dave: Hm...guess this author didn't know about the button system either, huh?
(Dave awkwardly chuckles a little, but his attempt to break the tension ultimately fails. Another silent moment passes before Ringi finally lets out a groan to break the quiet.)
Ringi: Ugh, fine, I'm not gonna force all of us to read in this state.
(Ringi deeply inhales and begins to exude a faint gray mist from his body. As the mist washes over the desktop, Dave, Bambi, and Bandu gradually lose the uncomfortable looks on their faces as their minds wash over with a wave of serotonin. All three of them simultaneously breathe a rejuvenated sigh of relief.)
Dave: ...Thanks for that, Ringi.
Ringi: No prob, man. Let's hope I don't have to do that again.
Sighing, Dave and Bambi lead the way to their destination: a small fast food restaurant by the corner. It wasn't particularly busy, so not many people were around to see the aliens known as Bandu, Ringi and Bambom. But those that were around stared in silence.
(Bandu has a mildly pensive look on his face. Bambi is the first person to take notice of this.)
Bambi: Hey, Bandu. You want to saying something?
Bandu: Well...I don't wanna be rude by asking, but if everyone's so weirded out by the way we look, why is it that you get a pass, Mr. Bambi?
(Bambi raises an eyebrow, causing Bandu to frantically backspace.)
Bandu: Oh, uh, n-not to imply you l-look weird or anything! J-Just...just, like, different than most of you 2D folk.
(Bambi remains silent with a mildly offended look on his face. There's a very slight hint from his movement that he's holding back laughter, which keeps Dave from intervening, but Bandu doesn't catch this.)
Bandu: D- I mean, I-I, uh, I just, l-like...I dunno, just, uh-
(Bandu gives up trying to say something coherent with a resigned sigh and simply turns back to the TV. Bambi regains his composure and does the same.)
So far, Ringi took great interest in all the flashy signs and letters dotting the shiny, complex metallic buildings surrounding them. They reminded Bandu of his phones, only bigger and grander. And the smell of 2D food was in the air. It was enticing, like Bendu's cooking. Bandu couldn't wait to tell his brother about this. He'd love it!
(Expunged glances towards its brother for about a second, but continues to remain silent.)
It was either that the group's appearance had caused the line to disperse, or they were incredibly lucky, because there was no wait to order. They came up to the window where a cleric wearing the restaurant's signature clothing stood. He quickly noticed the floating figures surrounding Dave, causing his face to go pale, but he remained straight and strong. After all, they were customers.
"Hello, uh, what can I get you all today?" The cleric said.
Dave cleared his throat. "We'll have... four cheeseburgers? Two large fries, five waters-"
"STRAWBERRIES!" Bambom screeched. "WANT STRAWBERRIES!"
Dave flinched. "Yeah, and a strawberry milkshake. That's it."
Ringi: Yeah...gonna need to work on our manners there.
Bandu: Isn't that what you said the last 4 times something like that happened?
Ringi: I-It takes time, okay? Stuff like that doesn't just happen that easily, man!
Bandu: (not believing it for a second) Mhm...
The cleric nodded. Dave swiftly paid, and the group soon got their orders. They sat together at a wooden table in the fast food place's area, oblivious to all the stares they were getting. Bambi immediately inhaled his food and curled up in Dave's lap with a gentle smile on his face. Dave was flustered.
(Bandu and Ringi quizzically glance towards Dave and Bambi, both of whom fail to hide their embarrassed looks. Dave clears his throat to break the silence while Bambi quickly climbs off of Dave's lap and sits down on the floor next to Bandu, trying to avoid looking at either of them.)
However, the 3D beings were confused on how to eat their food. Except Bambom, who quickly discovered that drinking liquids was exactly the same as it was in the 3D Realm.
Bandu lifted his cheeseburger up with invisible hands. He squished it slightly, peering at it. "This is squishy and crumbly... how do you folks eat this..?"
"The taste goes well with the texture." Dave explained. "Trust me; once you get past that, these are actually pretty good."
"I think he meant, like, HOW do you eat this." Ringi emphasized. "Everything in our realm is solid or blobby in some form, and this thing... it's neither... yet it's both... HELP???"
Ringi: Oh, c'mon, I've eaten all kinds of 2D food before. I would never be so unfamiliar with a ches-ee-burger.
Dave: Uh...don't you mean 'cheeseburger'?
Ringi: Yeah, whatever you said.
Bambom took a moment to catch his breath. "It's simple! Try the water first, it's like at home!" He chimed.
Bandu and Ringi exchanged worried glances. Carefully, they picked up their cups of water, and took little slurps as if they were in the laws of their world. Relief washed over them. Bambom was right about this... but what about the burgers? Bandu wondered if they behaved the same way. He idly watched Dave eat his burger, and copied his movements, bringing the item to his mouth and chomping down on it. Flavor, along with weird, gritty, slimy textures exploded in his mouth, forcing Bandu to freeze as he processed it all at once.
(Bambi shudders slightly.)
Bambi: Yeesh, when you are put it like that, it seeming so gross to eating. I happy I never eaten one of those.
Dave: Kind of a weird way to descri- Wait, you've never eaten a cheeseburger before?
Bambi: Nope. I are on a strictly corn-only diet since day I was born.
(Dave laughs a bit at this joke, but soon realizes that Bambi's face is dead serious. Now struck with confusion, Dave tries to think of some way to reply, but eventually just elects not to.)
Ringi's eyes went wide, and so did Dave, as they watched their friend. "Bandu... you good? You look like you saw a ghost..." Dave whispered.
Bandu glanced at them. Swallowing, he nodded. "Yeah- I'm good. It's weird, but like you said! Bypassing the texture leads to good flavor. Try it, Ringi!"
"YESYESYES!" Bambom squealed.
Hesitantly, Ringi followed in Bandu's footsteps, and soon discovered what Bandu was talking about. Slowly, the two ate their meals, enjoying what these strange new foods brought them. Bambom marveled at a few wild strawberry plants nearby. Dave patiently waited for Bandu and Ringi to finish. Bambi, for seemingly the first time ever, was peaceful. Not that anyone was unnerved, of course. Peaceful Bambi was the best Bambi.
Dave: Ain't that the truth. (chuckles)
(Bambi glares disapprovingly at Dave, but Dave remains unintimidated.)
Eventually, when everyone was done with their food, they decided to go walk around the city and look at all the different buildings and shops around them. One of these shops happened to be an electronics shop. And as soon as Bandu saw it, he was begging to go in, and Bambi was suddenly pissed off.
"No!" Bambi objected. "You already have lots of phones and laptops! You don't need anymore!"
Bambi: Me, object to get more phone? No, no, that are not like me at all! Do you want fuckin' phone? Get fuckin' phone, I not caring 'bout it.
"Aw come on! These are 2D!" Bandu whined. "Just a quick teensy peek?"
Bandu: Ah c'mon, I'm a grown man. Why do I gotta ask Mr. Bambi about that?
Ringi rolled his eyes. "Bandu, you're an adult. And Expunged isn't here. Don't listen to Bambi, you can go in."
Bandu: Yeah, exactly, me!
Bambi glared at Ringi, but said nothing. Bandu sighed and nodded. He pushed the glass doors open and floated in. Immediately, his eyes sparkled, as he looked at all the wonderful technology. Using his powers, he made everything float. It caused everyone in the store to scream and run out.
Bambi groaned, and threw his hands up. "I knew this would happen! Never let Bandu into a store that sells phones. Especially a 2D store. Little shit ruins everything."
(Ringi looks mildly taken aback.)
Ringi: Sheesh, dude! Said you were peaceful just a minute ago, where's all this coming from?
Bambi: I not knowing! I are never this dickish to someone I calling a friend...
Dave: Yeah, this is getting a little bizarre. First the hunger outburst, now that...I know you're a little abrasive, Bambi, but this is a bit excessive even for you.
(Ringi, Bandu, Dave, and Bambi look at each other briefly with faces of confusion. Expunged, meanwhile, remains unnervingly still, its constant breaking even slowing down noticeably.)
Dave gasped and put his hands over Bambom's invisible ears. "Bambi! How could you say that to our friend!?"
"Yeah man, what the fuck, dude." Ringi growled.
Ringi: Man, even the story knows how wacko that was.
Bambi crossed his hands as if they were arms. "What? It's true. Look at him now, he's lovestruck over a Samsung!"
"So?" Ringi questioned. "I have a cat in my head. Bambom only eats strawberries. YOU PROTECT CORN WITH YOUR LIFE. What's to say a man can't love an inanimate object if we're all weird?"
Bambi: Hey, do not dissing my sacred vegetable! It are a beautiful thing sent to us by holy being!
Ringi: I...think you're proving story me's point.
Bambi: (suddenly deadpan) Yeah, probably.
Lo and behold, Bandu was floating around a Samsung phone that had been resting on a table. His eyes were huge and his smile was giddy. The color pink dashed his face. Despite Bambi being upset with this predicament, he secretly felt glad that Bandu had found love... even if it was with a god damn phone from a world not his own.
"You got a point." Bambi admitted, uncrossing his hands. He muttered a halfhearted apology under his breath.
(Bandu's eyes dart towards Dave and Bambi a couple of times expectantly.)
Bandu: ...hm. Thought you guys would have more questions about that.
Dave: About what?
Bandu: Y'know...the phone thing. Everybody says I'm weird for being into that, so like...I dunno...
Dave: (shrugs) I mean, you exist in dimensions I still can't fully comprehend. You float around the place with ease, you can summon furniture out of nothing, your brother is... (looks up at Expunged) that...frankly, attraction to phones is one of the least unusual things we know about you. Ain't my place to be judging.
(Bandu looks down at the ground for a moment before giving Dave a relieved smile.)
Bandu: Well, thanks for that, Mr. Dave.
Dave: No problem, Bandu.
Minutes later, Bandu came out with the Samsung, along with a collection of other 2D electronics floating behind him like a cape. "Hey guys! Guess what? I have a girlfriend now! Or a boyfriend. I dunno. Phone here never told me what they want to define us as." He said sheepishly.
Ringi: And hey, you're progressive about it, too! Good for you, man.
Dave gave him a thumbs up. "Ok cool! Are you gonna return those others though?"
Bandu looked back at his cape. "Yeah... I just wanted to look awesome." He murmured.
Magically, the items making up his cape flocked back into the store, and went to their respective locations. But he kept the Samsung. The group continued walking through the city, until they settled in the park and hung around. There was a playground nearby, which Bambom decided to go play on with the 2D children. Despite being from another dimension, the kids were mystified by Bambom, and gladly played with him. The parents... not so much. But they didn't feel like interfering.
Dave: Y'know, it's kind of weird that most of the people in this city are so tame about you guys. A few odd looks is a big improvement from paralyzing horror and paranoid hunting.
Bambi: Hm...maybe this are take place sometime in future. You are know more these guys, and people might calming down about this by now.
Bandu: You had a lot more control of that rift thing that got you here, too! Must've spent a while learning how to do that.
Dave: (slowly nodding, interested) Yeah...yeah, I suppose that makes sense. Wonder if I could master that myself...
Ringi smiled, seeing his best friend playing so happily. But he didn't join him, he just wanted to relax and watch the world around him. And make plushies of literally every single person he saw. Which was many. He left them behind as they strolled through the city. Once they left the park, there was going to be plushies crawling up the playfield equipment.
Bambi: 'S that something you can really doing too?
Ringi: Actually, pretty much any of us can materialize a bunch of stuff outta thin air. I just like making plushies sometimes.
(Ringi materializes a small plush of Bambi to demonstrate, which appears in Dave's hand.)
Dave: Huh. Ain't that cute?
Dave and Bambi, meanwhile, were together on the grass, enjoying each other's company. And Bandu was playing with his phones.
"This has been a wonderful day." Ringi mused, looking up at the sky. "I'm so happy you could show us your world, Dave and Bambi."
Dave chuckled. "I am too. I figured it was only fair after I accidentally entered yours."
Bambi: (jumps up, suddenly excited) Ha! I knew it! This is take place after what are happen now!
(Bambi starts doing a goofy-looking happy dance. Dave chuckles a little at Bambi's enthusiasm, and Ringi rolls his eyes, but still maintains a slight smile)
Bandu sat up. "Yeah! We should do this more often. And we should bring Bendu and Expunged next time! They'd love this!"
Dave and Ringi quietly agreed. Bambi was silent for a moment. And then he smiled gently. "Yes... that would be nice." He whispered. Suddenly, he twitched violently, and stood up. "We should get back to the farm now. It's getting late."
(Bambi instantly stops dancing like he had been paused.)
Bambi: (sarcastic) That...that aren't foreboding at all.
Dave checked his clock. "You're right. We should go. The parking expires in ten minutes, and I don't want us to get ticketed!"
Ringi nodded. He called out to the playground. "Bambom! We're going home! Come back!"
Bambom instantly appeared at Ringi's side. "Ok!" He chimed. "I wanna come back to this place some time later. It's super fun! The kids are really nice, they showed me a game called hopscotch!"
"I bet!" Ringi laughed.
"OK GUYS LET'S GO NOW!" Bambi yelled, twitching again.
(Ringi's own smile from reading his interaction falls as the same worry seemingly hovers over him and the other readers.)
Ringi: Oh boy, this is 'boutta get bad, isn't it?
Not wasting a moment, the group rushed back to where Bambi's car was parked. And as Ringi promised, he left behind a fair amount of plushies at the park for everyone to marvel and take. Since the 3D beings could fly, they did that, and carried Dave and Bambi with them. Unfortunately, their efforts getting there in time were in vain, because a cop was at the car and putting a piece of paper on it.
Bambi howled with primal fury. He ripped out of Bandu's invisible hands and launched himself directly at the cop, crashing into them and knocking them into the road. Then Bambi violently chucked painted bricks at the cop until they died.
(And there it was. Dave, Bambi, Bandu, and Ringi look at the TV with shocked, frightened expressions.)
Ringi: (low voice) Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
(Bambi just shakes his head slowly, gradually getting faster while repeatedly mumbling 'That not me...' under his breath.)
Bandu: Wow...I-I just...wow.
(Dave finds himself unable to say anything. As much as he knows it's fiction, he just can't shake the uncomfortable feeling it causes. He looks up at Expunged, whose eyes are noticeably wider than before. With a shiver rolling up his back, he joins the others in returning to the screen, refusing to talk any further about it.)
Dave was gently set on the sidewalk by Ringi. "Holy shit." He said. "Bambi what the fuck?"
Bambi whipped towards Dave with a wild grin and wide eyes, making the man flinch. Bambi almost laughed, but he didn't. Instead, he picked up the cop's body and hid it under a different parked car, and ripped the parking ticket he got to shreds.
"Let's go home." Bambi said, his face calm.
(Silently, Bambi places down his bucket of corn and climbs back up onto Dave's lap. Without thinking, Dave immediately wraps his arms around Bambi, trying to comfort him as best as he can.)
The group all exchanged glances with each other. They all collectively agreed to not talk about or bring it up ever again. They got into Bambi's car, and they drove back to his farm. The sun was setting. It had been a long day, and it was time for everyone to rest in their respective places. Bandu may have been beaming with excitement to show and tell his brother everything, but even he was tired, and struggled to stay awake during the drive to the farm. Ringi and Bambom had fallen under a similar spell, and leaned against each other. Dave too was not immune, and actually fell asleep halfway through.
Ringi: (quietly grunts) I doubt any of us'd be able to sleep in that car after that...
(Bandu subtly nods in agreement.)
When he woke up, he was at the farm. Bambi got out and shooed some crows attacking his corn, before letting everyone else out of the car. Bandu, Ringi, and Bambom floated around Dave.
Ringi yawned. "Welp. That was fun. Let us know if you want us to come back! We'd be super happy to!"
(Ringi scoffs.)
"Yeah! Yeah!" Bambom agreed. "Super fun! Delicious strawberries and nice kids were the best!"
Dave laughed. "Alright then. Bandu, you know what to do if you want it." He said.
Bandu smiled and nodded. Dave smiled back, and focused to an area in front of him. Clenching his fist, he tore open the fabric of space and time, creating a rift back to the 3D Realm. They said their goodbyes, and one by one, the 3D beings went back to where they came from. Dave closed the rift. By then, the sun had set, and night had taken over the sky.
Dave sighed blissfully. "Aaah... what a wonderful day. Wouldn't you agree, Bambi?"
"Oh, yes, definitely~" Bambi purred. "I had a lot of fun. And it was super nice to hang out with you. I truly must admit that today went a lot better than I thought it would, even with my brother being who he is... annoying as hell. But still lovable."
Dave froze. If Bambi's choice of words didn't throw him off, then his voice did. Bambi sounded... wrong. Distorted, almost. It sent chills down Dave's spine, and he slowly turned around to face his farmer friend.
(Dave gains a questioning look as he begins to think through some of the story's oddities. Uncontrolled twitching, distorted voice, a predisposition towards violence...Suddenly, his expression shifts to one of horror as he arrives to the same conclusion as his story counterpart.)
Dave wheeled back slightly. "Y-you're not... you're not Bambi!" He stammered.
Bambi wore a grin. A wide grin, with wide eyes, and a wide smile. And under the cover of night, his clothing shifted to red. At that moment, Dave realized something very important. This wasn't Bambi. This was Expunged, posing as Bambi. The grin said it all.
(Nobody in the room makes a sound; even the group's breathing is quite muted. Everyone looks to and from everyone else as they simmer in the reveal...up until the silence is broken by the sound of vigorous applauding.)
Bandu: (excitedly whistles) Woohoo! Wow, what a twist! (turns up to Expunged) I can't believe it, bro! You really were in the story the whole time! Isn't that fun?
(Expunged, once again, gives no response, though its eyes have widened considerably, it's body twitches more frequently, and a slight bit of drool slowly drips from its massive smile. Dave, meanwhile, tries to muster some reaction in his surprise and slight offense, but comes up with nothing yet and saves it for later.)
"Indeed. You finally figured it out." Expunged mused. "I was wondering how long it would take you to realize your little friend was acting... off. Out of character, if you will. But now that you know, our little game can come to an end."
Dave wheeled away farther away from Expunged, not taking his eyes off the chaos god. Because suddenly Expunged rapidly transformed from an impersonation of Bambi, to his Unfairness form. And he changed size too, which made it all the more terrifying. He towered above the farm, above Dave, looking down with a massive toothy grin and a glint of unhinged personality in his stretched eyes. What really sold it was that Expunged was still 2D. And in his Unfairness form, he looked a lot more human and detailed. It was weird.
Dave: (brief incoherent stammering) I-Its 'Unfairness' form?
Bandu: Yep! That's what he calls the big red form he's in right now. I dunno why, but it's pretty cool anyway!
Bambi: ...W-Wait, it have o-other form?
Bandu: Oh, of course, silly! He's got a lot of them! For one, there's-
(Bandu stops before he starts when he notices Expunged looking down at him, unamusement clear in its eyes.)
Bandu: (embarrassed) Ah, whoops. Not telling you yet!
Dave trembled. He couldn't believe what just happened. He didn't even know what just happened. Many questions were circling in his head, clashing with his fear and instinct to run and hide. Expunged was clearly in advantage here. If Dave slipped up, he could spell his own undoing.
Expunged looked down, directly at Dave. "It seems you want to play another game." He observed. "How about hide-and-seek! It's only fitting. You're going to die~"
"N-no! No games! I don't want to play!" Dave choked out, sweat rolling down his forehead. "I don't want to play this game!"
(Bambi looks up and catches his Dave also nervously sweating and frantically shaking his head.)
Bambi: Dave? You know it just story, right?
Dave: Y-Yeah, I know, I know...I just... (sighs) I don't know i-if I can really explain it right now.
Bambi: (worriedly) Okay, if you saying so...
This made Expunged's expression change. It wasn't a noticeable different, but Dave could definitely see and feel that the chaos god wasn't pleased with this response. "You don't? Fine. What do you want to play?" He asked.
Dave froze again. He shivered. "I... I want answers!" He yelled. "That's what I want!"
Expunged hummed to himself. "I see... I shall give you the knowledge you seek." He decided. "But only three questions!"
With bold quietness and quickness, Dave was suddenly picked up by a large hand. He was pulled up very very fast. The kind of fast that messed with your brain from how much was moving past you. And when he stopped, he found himself face to face with Expunged's smiling composition. Dave could have sworn that if his legs were working, he would stab the hand that held him and run the fuck away.
(Dave feels an unseen object brush against his metallic leg. As he glances up to see Expunged staring back with its eyes practically quivering, the evidence as to what that is isn't lost on him.)
"You get three questions." Expunged warned. "Otherwise, I'll have to start asking you. And when I ask questions, it isn't pretty. So please, what are your questions, my dear wheelchair friend?"
Dave didn't consider Expunged to be his friend. Mutual? Yes. Acquaintance? Yes. Friend? Absolutely not. There were too many variables that messed with Dave to make him consider this... this thing... his friend. But he also knew that Expunged was Bandu's brother, and at times, he was helpful and even kind.
Ringi: ...Kind? (chuckles) Since when?
Bandu: (annoyed) Aw, c'mon, Ringi, be nice to my brother.
Ringi: Maybe once he starts being nice to me.
But now wasn't the time to dwell on such matters. He had to get to the bottom of some things. Looking at Expunged, Dave shivered once more. "How.... How were you able to come here, to the 2D world? Last I checked, Bambi wasn't in the 3D Realm..."
"I've always been able to travel between these two dimensions." Expunged explained, his voice thunderous, yet soft, so Dave wasn't hurt or struck by sudden volume. "I am very old. Ancient, even. I have seen this world, and my own, evolve. In fact, I was waiting for the perfect time to show Bandu this place... but I didn't. He'd never shut up or leave me alone. But I suppose I have you to thank for. He's your problem now." He said.
(Bandu grows uncomfortably quiet and gloomy as the paragraph goes on, and eventually speaks up once it ends.)
Bandu: ...Expunged...you don't really think those things about me, do you?
(Expunged doesn't even glance in Bandu's direction, much less give any kind of answer. After a moment of waiting, Bandu shakes his head.)
Bandu: No, no, it's not that serious. It's just a story, Bandu. All fiction.
Ok... that made sense. Kind of an obvious answer now that Dave thought about it. He nodded. "Alright. Have you been playing as Bambi this entire time? Why?"
Expunged slowly nodded. "Yes. I believe, some time before you brought the others here, I replaced him." He said. "Morning, I think. It's a little fuzzy and I'm too tired to search my brain for accuracy. And as for why, I think it is complicated, but simple. I just wanted to spend time with you. I did base myself around that sweet little farmer of yours, and I just so happened to pick up his personal feelings and opinions of you. So it was only natural that a part of me wanted to spend some bonding time with you~"
So there's that. Dave felt a little sick, knowing that all those moments of closeness with Bambi today were actually with Expunged.
(Dave makes a disgusted face and lightly pushes his wheelchair's level, moving himself closer to the TV and further from Expunged.)
But it also conflicted with him. Expunged just wanted to hang out. But Dave was damn afraid of him! And for some reason Expunged decided to cosplay as his closest friend to do it. And for a completely different reason, Expunged also decided that the moment Dave realized Bambi wasn’t who he was, Expunged would reveal himself, and forget about the entire day altogether.
Ringi: Yeah, that...that sure is what he said earlier.
"Ok... thank you." Dave said respectfully. "Say uh... where is Bambi? If you were posing as him, then were is the real Bambi?"
Although subtle, Dave had suddenly realized he was a lot closer to Expunged than before. Close enough to feel his warm breath on his clothes. Close enough to be set on his hat and see everything from high above. Close enough...
"Do you want to join him?" Expunged asked.
(Bambi, knowing damn well where this was going, clutches onto Dave's arm for security. Dave, in turn, squeezes Bambi close to him with his free arm. Meanwhile, Bandu scoots himself closer to Expunged, unable to stop himself from rapidly glancing between it and the TV.)
The sentence struck Dave in a way he could not fathom. "W-what..? What kind of answer is that...?" He whimpered.
Expunged's eyes narrowed slightly. "Do you... want to join him?" He repeated, this time more serious.
Dave was caught in the crosshairs of confusion and fear. He didn't know how to respond to this. But if it meant seeing Bambi, the real Bambi, then maybe it was worth it.
"Yes..." Dave whispered, immediately regretting ever saying anything.
Expunged's grin became uncannily wider. "Excellent." He purred. "He'll be delighted to see you, considering he spent most of the day alone. In the dark. In me. You might wanna... close your eyes..."
(As the story comes to its end, another wave of silence washes over the room. Dave and Bambi continue to hold onto each other, Bandu looks up at Expunged with a mixture of expectancy and worry, and Ringi uncomfortably gazes at the others in their negative moods. Eventually, Ringi forces himself to speak up.)
Ringi: ...Well, that was certainly an experience. Are y'all, uh...doing okay? D'you need another serotonin boost?
Bandu: I-I'm fine, don't worry! I just... (pauses) ...it's nothing, it's nothing. Mr. Dave, Mr. Bambi?
Bambi: I mean, it was little bit scary...b-but it are only story. It not like I am actually be eaten...Dave?
(Dave takes a moment to respond, shuddering as he recalls Expunged's hungry expression.)
Dave: (mutters) ...b-but it could happen...i-It could...
Bambi: Hm? Dave?
Dave: O-Oh, nothing! E-Everything's fine, everything's fine!
(Another moment of silence follows, though much quicker to be broken by the sound of hands clasping together.)
Bandu: (smiling again) Well, I for one had a great time. It definitely kept us engaged, anyway. What d'you think, Expunged?
(Everyone expects Expunged to remain silent as usual, but their attention is transfixed on the sound of harsh wind when the being slightly inhales to make itself heard...)
Expunged: I̵̻̩͑T̶̯̘͆͠ ̴͉̘̈́W̵̱̅E̵͚̻͘R̵̦̆̈́Ẻ̴̪͍̿ ̴͙̊Q̷̟͔̎͊U̵̮͛̑Î̵̙T̸̳͓̎E̷͚̋͘ ̸̣́̔P̶̪͓̄̅R̶̫̆̕Ẽ̷̮͝D̶̤̫̂̈Ḯ̸̜̹̓C̸̳͕̈́T̸͔̙̓̎Ã̶͓B̷̟̏L̷̠͔̓͠Ȅ̴̬̺.̴̹̓̔ ̶̢͈̂͘Ị̷̋͜ ̵̣͇̓̚W̷͓̊͘͜A̵̪̐S̷̪̙̀̂ ̷̨͇̔̅S̸̱̥̐E̴͖͌Ë̸̻̼́ ̷̺́̕T̵̠̥̑W̴̦͇̒I̵̦͍͐S̸̤̄Ţ̷͕͋ ̴͙̞͑Ċ̴̩̗̓O̷͇͓̔M̶̱̔I̵͕̅̿ͅN̸̹̙͒G̸͖̽ ̸͛̿ͅ3̸̼̮͋0̸̮̬͂̀0̴̞͑̿͜ ̸̟̈́M̸͔̈̆I̶̡͌͐L̴̹̀́Ê̶̦͘ ̷̱̕Ą̵̡̽W̵̖̄A̴͈͆͠Y̸̱̖̅̀.̸̡̑
(Dave, Bambi, and Ringi are momentarily stunned by Expunged's blunt answer. Bandu, on the other hand, looks to have been expecting it.)
Bandu: I dunno, I thought it was pretty cool. Care to give us more of your perspective, though?
Expunged: F̵̤͒O̴̖̠̾̿R̴͍̅ ̴̦̆Ỏ̴̰Ṅ̸͔͝Ē̶̪͒,̷̮͋̑ ̶̛͎͖̿B̴͉͐Ä̵̳́M̸̢̏͆B̴̺̿Ḯ̸̟̪͛ ̴̢̰͋W̷͔͚͗Ā̸̳̼S̵̬̖̄ ̵͔̅N̴̨͇͐O̶̫̽͊Ţ̵͙͠ ̷͎̠̓̏E̶̗̭̓̽V̶̮́Ê̷̱̞̅N̷̻̝͒ ̴͎̜̾T̵͚́͒Ā̶͎̼́Ļ̸̖̑K̸̜̤͆ ̴̛͓̄W̴͎̃I̵̯͂T̴̫͈̊H̷̫͇̊ ̷̤͗̓ͅS̵̨̙̚Ą̷̗́͠M̷̭͈̊͛Ḙ̷̥͑ ̶̢̛͇B̷̲̏R̸̼͆͜O̴͎͓̾K̷̼̀E̵̗̅N̵̬͋ ̵̭͗͘E̸̖̐N̸̡̾̑G̷̺͓̽͝L̷͉̟̽İ̵̘̱̓S̵̮̮̕H̶͎͂.̴̬̿̆ ̶͓̏T̶̟̾͛Ḧ̴̛̻̣́A̶̛̳̗̒T̵̪͓̋̅ ̵̬̈́̊Ǎ̶̮͒Ř̴͍̼E̸͔͗̀ ̴͓̗̈́͝J̵͙̐͑͜U̸̘͝S̵̲̭̃̀T̸͈͓̚ ̸͎̰́M̶̲̈̍À̷̛̝̬K̶͔̖̽̉E̴̦̐ ̸͕̜͆̕I̶͇̎̐Ț̸̭̇̈́ ̸̫̦̚D̷͚̈̎E̸̖͂Ȃ̷̝̟͐Ḏ̴͉̇ ̶͍͆G̵͙͝I̶̊͜V̴̘́̐Ë̸͇̤́͝A̷̰͉͂̏W̴̹͇̄́Ȁ̷̢Y̷̼͌.̴̺͚̈̄
Dave: Wait, but don't you speak the same way, Expunged? Maybe Bambi had just gotten more fluent by then.
(Expunged gives a deep chuckle and clears its throat, a sinister glint in its eye.)
Expunged: Ô̸͇̫̔Ḧ̶̪̦,̸̳̼̈ ̷̲͆͆Ì̶̘̜͑ ̷͈̒C̷͈̿ͅḀ̵͆Ṇ̷͒͋ ̴̬͛̍S̴̨͂̎Ṕ̶̢̛Ë̴͕̩́̉A̵̼͋K̶̖̘͊͋ ̷̮̃̀E̸̦̚Ǹ̸̰̒G̵̡̘̈́L̵̪͔̋̓Į̵̝̀͌S̴̗̃̓H̶̥́͝ ̴̰͔̏P̴̱̒̋Ẻ̶̯͇R̶̼̗̅͝F̸̭̕E̸̡͑Ć̵̨͐T̸̨̂Ĺ̸͕̘Y̸̤̏̐ ̵̱̣͌F̷̘̟͂̀Ī̶͓̫Ǹ̸̹͙̃Ȇ̶̩̤.̶̞̺̋͠ ̷̗͒̀Ĭ̵̩͚ ̷̧̰́J̶̜͑U̷̮̓̐ͅS̴̩̦̿T̶̘̳̆͋ ̷͍̻͋L̴̞͠I̵͔̯͌̃Ǩ̸͇̃Ě̷̩ ̷̹̭̏̕T̷̟̋͘Ở̸̞̘ ̵̹̐M̸̢̀Į̴̼̄͝M̵̙̿̏Į̷̝́͋Ć̵͖̆.̵̩͙̽
Dave: (intimidated) Okay, yep, glad we've got that cleared up. (nervous chuckle)
Ringi: Alright, alright, let's clear up all the creepy shit, people. As abruptly disturbing as it was, I'd say that was a pretty solid story. A li'l unfocused, but it had my attention, kept its grammar intact - (mutters) a rarity for this kinda stuff - and didn't overstay its welcome. Y'all second dimension-ers got anything to say?
Bambi: I agreeing, it were fun to being able to chilling out with you guys for once without fear for our lives.
Dave: (glances up) For the most part, anyway...I-I mean, I didn't exactly hate it. I could see us continuing through this, hopefully in a bit more of a light-hearted environment. Maybe we could invite some of you guys' friends as a fun way to meet 'em, too!
Bandu: Yeah, that sounds great! Apparently this is just a prologue for the next story in this series, too, so we've got plenty more to be excited about!
Expunged: H̸̼͕̐M̷̯̾.̸͔̏.̷̞̏̈́͜.̶̝͙̒̎H̷̲̐͜Ǒ̸̻Ẁ̶̧̧͂ ̶̺̓W̶̡̹͂O̵̼̓͌U̵̯͝L̴̡̫̍D̶̰̾̈ ̶̰̠̐̀Y̸͉͝Ő̷̲̓U̴̡̢̐̀ ̸̖̭͝B̷̘͌̏È̸͇Í̸͇̜̕N̶͔̾Ĝ̸͚̓ ̷̘̍A̸̻͔͌B̸̡̤͂̕L̴͚̝̂̉E̵̙̗͐ ̵̞͕̂T̶͔͐̄Ỏ̵̤̞̑ ̷̩̗͊̄F̸͌ͅȎ̷̠̘L̷̘̿̐L̶̟̥͊͗O̴͙͌Ẅ̶̟̣́Í̸̻N̶̛͉̼G̵͎͋̄ ̴̬̘̍U̴̺̇̎P̶̲͝ ̷̤̱͊F̵̦̅̿R̷̹̾͝O̸͉̻̒M̶̤̔̆ ̶͑͊ͅT̸̲̝̊H̷͇͇̽Ĭ̴̫͝S̷͉̅̒ͅ,̸̥̪̏͝ ̴͍͝E̷̼̥͂̓X̷͇̕͜Ã̵̜̫C̴̫̏T̷̺̎L̴͓͗Y̴̲̌?̵͓͕̈ ̷̫͋I̷̩͛T̵̮̕ ̶̻̚Ä̷̳͈̾R̷͖̮͆̑Ë̷͍́͂ ̶͇̅S̴̳͓͐E̶̮̝͊E̷̗͗̓Ṁ̷̮̟̀ ̴̗̳͌͝T̴͓̿͒H̸̨̞̊A̵̳͝T̴͔̳́ ̴̫̓M̸͔͔̈͑A̵̯͑̐I̴͚͖̊̉N̸̺̉͜ ̴̣͆ͅP̸̛͉̍O̴̘͕̿͝Í̴͈N̵̮̄̏T̸͑͋͜ͅ ̴̺̞̅Ó̴̦͜F̸͉́ ̶̛̙̿V̴͖͕̾I̶̳͗E̴̟̋͠W̸̧͉̏͝ ̶̥́̀C̵̳̈̕H̷͈̎̽A̷̦̦̓̔Ŕ̶̮͙A̸͉̔C̶̭̈̈T̷̞͂̂E̵̟̋̒R̵̥͗ ̷̦͘͘W̶̞̎͊Ȁ̶̗S̷̤̫͝ ̶̹̿͜J̷̲͙̍͝Ü̴̳̓S̷̛̩͐T̷̡̝̀ ̷̪̺̈́͊P̴̧̒̚Ḛ̵̣̽̅R̴̡͎͑̀I̶̜͝S̸͖̔̊H̸̼̀ ̴͍͑Ä̶̪́L̵̻̈́R̷̢̈́E̵̥̅Ă̸̢͔D̴͙̄̓͜Ỷ̷̮̝.̵͙̓
Dave: That is a good point...I guess we'll just have to figure out next time! Nailed it...
Ringi: Oh yeah, I forgot we were recording this...
Dave: Next time, we'll be back with the first chapter of this series' second story, "Turn Around and Shake My Hand". Slightly foreboding, but I'm sure it'll be fun nonetheless. We'll be stopping here for now, though, so I hope you all have a wonderful day!
(Beat)
Bandu: AND DON'T FORGET TO LIKE, COMMENT, AND SMMMMMASH THAT SUBSCRI-
[Bandu is cut off as the episode ends.]