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Let's talk about Tenma Tsukasa who loves his sister with everything he has and is.
Tsukasa is eight when he wins his first piano competition. He's eight when he's called up to the stage by the judges, he's eight when he receives his first trophy with a beaming smile on his face, he's eight when he searches for his parents' faces in the audience and he's eight when his smile falters when he realises that he cannot see them anywhere.
And it's not even because they're not there for him. Though that thought comes a little later, a little selfishly, the first thought in his mind is; what happened to Saki?
Because Tsukasa knows that as much as his parents try to be there for him, they're needed by Saki more. His little sister who was born just a little weaker than everyone else. His little sister to whom Tsukasa wanted to show off the trophy to once he won the competition. His little sister whose smile would've been worth more than the trophy currently in his numb, numb hands.
As soon as the formalities are over, Tsukasa rushes over to the hospital Saki is in. The world feels a little too big without an adult by his side and Tsukasa is scared of bumping into someone bigger than him but bigger than his fear is his concern for his sister.
Tsukasa reaches the hospital on the verge of throwing up from both exhaustion and nerves.
By the time he climbs up to the room Saki is in, he overhears the tail end of the conversation that says something along the lines of Saki's health worsening. His blood goes cold and he holds onto the trophy like it's the only thing keeping him standing. His mother notices him in the room and tells him to stay outside while they talk.
"It's not something you should be hearing." She says as she picks him up and puts him on one of the chairs outside. Her hands are cold. "Saki will be fine, okay? Just stay here and let us talk to the doctor. Saki is okay."
Tsukasa doesn't like how she sounds like she's reassuring herself rather than talking to him.
He sits there.
Let's talk about Tsukasa's loneliness.
He sits there watching people pass by the corridor, feeling a little out of it, as he still clutches onto his trophy, his fingers twitching to do something. The only thing going through his mind is what he heard from the doctor as he entered the room and he refuses to think of the worst outcome. He sits there, in cold sweat, holding onto that trophy, watching his image reflect upon the shinier part of it.
It feels like hours pass by when he sits there alone in the corridor.
His victory that had escaped his mind long ago comes back to him within that isolated period and he looks at the carvings on the trophy, feeling his fingers twitch once again.
He wants to play the piano.
The noise of the nurses and doctors and patients and people is too much, it's so much that it feels like white noise but with the sound of his piano, Tsukasa could regain some sense of normalcy. He could have his music keep him company. He wants God himself to appear in front of him and tell him that his sister will be okay.
Along with his overwhelming concern for his sister, Tsukasa looks at his trophy and wonders a bit too.
Left alone to his thoughts like that, Tsukasa feels a little out of his mind but he traces the carvings on the trophy and wonders.
It feels all wrong to wonder if Saki would've smiled looking at his trophy if her health wasn't worsening when she's in that room, suffering from her weak constitution. It isn't anyone's fault that Tsukasa has been left to his own devices. Not his parents', not the doctor's and never his sister's.
When there's no one to blame, the mind turns on itself.
Let's talk about Tsukasa who carries guilt as if it were a part of him.
He cannot help feeling that way.
This is a child who has learned that life isn't fair far too early.
As if to share a smidgen of the unfairness inflicted onto Saki, Tsukasa doesn't make any friends through his elementary school days. The people he talked to couldn't quite be considered friends since Tsukasa didn't see them that way. Saki wants the best for Tsukasa, he knows that, even knowing that, he doesn't want to tell her about how he went bug catching with his classmates, or how his kite flew the highest out of everyone because he doesn't want to remind Saki of all that she's being made to miss.
Sometimes, just visiting her feels like he's reminding her of everything she's missing.
But Saki looks so happy every time he visits her that he doesn't have the heart to punish either of them like that.
Let's talk about Tsukasa's loneliness.
Everyday, he comes back unfailingly to a locked house with his parents either working or looking after his sister in the hospital. Everyday, he looks underneath the flowerpot for the key and unlocks the door, being welcomed by only silence. He starts thinking of ways to make his sister smile, make his parents smile while he's inside and finds himself reaching for the piano every time. The simple tune of twinkle twinkle little star lulls him into a state of mind where he can just think about the next way he can make his sister laugh.
The show they'd all watched together had actors so radiant Tsukasa couldn't help but be in awe of them. He wants to be like them. He wants to make his sister smile. He wants to make everyone smile.
(He wants to smile.)
Let's talk about how Tsukasa had not one but two younger siblings who chased his loneliness away.
Aoyagi Touya, this slight little child not even as tall as Saki, who didn't seem to know how to talk with people at all. Touya, who was learning music so advanced at such a young age. At that age, kids were only supposed to play and smile lots. Kids like Touya weren't supposed to flinch when they made a mistake while playing the piano, they were supposed to stick their tongue out like Saki and laugh.
Tsukasa doesn't like how Touya looks so uneasy whenever his father comes to take him home.
So one evening, as the sun sets, he watches Touya fiddle with his sleeves and immediately gets to work. Tsukasa sticks a piece of paper under his nose and makes a loud, funny impression of a man he once saw on TV.
Saki immediately bursts into giggles while Touya only looks confused.
It takes Tsukasa more than a few tries to make Touya laugh, and when he does, Tsukasa feels his heart grow at ease.
Touya, that day, leaves their house accompanied by a smile on his face and a definite ache in his jaw.
Let's talk about Tsukasa Tenma who adopts confidence to mask the loneliness he can't quite chase away.
Tsukasa who is determined to be the very thing that made Saki smile after such a long time. Just like the stars in the sky that Saki used to watch with her friends, just like the glowing stars on the ceiling of their shared room, just like the actors on the stage, just like that Tsukasa wants to be the guiding north star that Saki can always turn to whenever she feels lost in waves of sickness.
This little nebula gathers dust and gas with the pull of his gravity, with the pull of his confidence.
In haste to become a star who can always be there for Saki.
Saki who longs for the world in bits and pieces. In magazines, in conversations between her and elderly patients, in pictures that Tsukasa brings back to her of when he wins competitions after competitions.
If Saki were healthy, she'd win more. Tsukasa believes that strongly. The hungry and world-starved girl she is, if Saki were allowed the world the same way everyone else was, she would take it by storm.
Saki seeks out the world even through her hospital bed, even through the window by her bed, even in the plain hospital gown she wears. The brightest star in the entire room shines even as she's shackled by her sickness. She tells him about the old lady by her hospital bed, how she taught her of ways to swallow pills that were easier, she tells him about how she hosted a mini runway show within the four walls of the room and how a little boy by the next bed giggled when she struck a pose.
"It was the one you taught me." She says, beaming as if Tsukasa cannot see how red rimmed her eyes are.
Tsukasa wants to ask her where she learned it from but he's aware that he's not the best example to follow in terms of honesty. And with how kind and thoughtful she is, Saki didn't want to trouble any of them with her own problems. When faced with his sister's kindness like this, Tsukasa only wants to do more for her. Anything, everything, he would do anything she asked of him, even though his sister doesn't ask him much.
So Tsukasa pretends he doesn't see how red rimmed her eyes are and if he squeezes her in his arms a little tighter when he has to leave, that's something only between the two.
If he could take all her hurt, he would, he would. But he can't and he feels so helpless.
The brotherly urge to protect, to take up all her pain, to make sure the only tears Saki ever cies is of happiness, echoes in his mind and reverberates through his small body. Keep her safe, keep her happy , it echoes through the hollow of his bones but he can't do anything so that urge only echoes through him like a scream in vain.
Tsukasa loves his little sister.
The fierce warrior she is. She fights valiantly every day. Tsukasa sees her efforts, her strength, her exhaustion, her unwillingness to give in to what fate has decided for her. She fights with all she is.
She fights.
Tsukasa cannot protect her from her illness. He cannot shield her from something that's not tangible.
He cannot shield her but he can attempt to ease her pain. He makes her smile because if there's anything this terribly, terribly cruel life has taught him, it's that happiness, no matter how small, matters. It matters when it makes way for an ounce of lightheartedness. It matters when it keeps Saki afloat and keeps her optimistic even as her illness steals her away from the rest of the world. It matters when Tsukasa feels like he's doing something right whenever Saki is happy.
During Hinamatsuri, Tsukasa brings Saki the Emperor and Empress dolls to the hospital.
Saki… gives him a terribly sad smile as she looks at the battered dolls.
Later, Tsukasa will find out that his sister had been so happy that she wanted to cry. Later, Tsukasa will find out that Saki wasn't upset but that she was overjoyed, seeing the two things she wanted to see the most; her Hina dolls and her brother. Later, Tsukasa will find out, but at the time, at the time as he returned home, Tsukasa felt the weight of his failure like it was a physical thing.
Tsukasa looks at the Hina doll stands so much bigger than he is himself through the pane of the store, he looks at the price tag with more zeros than he has ever seen in his maths textbooks, and then he looks at the palm of his own hands where lay a few measly one hundred yen coins.
It's disappointment he feels as he walks back home with the coins jingling in his pocket. The disappointment soon becomes conviction; Tenma Tsukasa will one day buy a beautiful Hina doll set for his sister.
He keeps the pocket change his parents sometimes give him bit by bit. His new year's money, his birthday's money, the money he gets later after winning more and more piano competitions ー Tsukasa keeps it all in a piggy bank the shape of a pegasus and hopes he'll have enough by the time Saki gets out of hospital.
Saki gets better.
She studies hard, she studies hard to get into Miya Girls' Junior High. Ichika and the rest are planning to go there, she says as she writes, her handwriting a little unsteady.
Tsukasa begins moving himself into the room across Saki's so that she can have the room they once used to share. The other room is painfully, painfully bland but Tsukasa believes that he'll fill it up in no time. With his star-like presence, with the CDs of shows he has collected, with his collection of trophies, the room looks a little less empty but it's still lacking.
Tsukasa waits for the telephone to ring as he plays twinkle twinkle little star again, his hands moving across the keys automatically at this point.
The phone rings.
Saki gets into Miya Girls' Junior High.
Tsukasa breaks the piggy bank to buy Saki a pile worth of her favourite snack. I'll be earning by the time I buy her the Hina dolls, he thinks but can't make himself feel even a smidgen of regret. Saki's life should be full of one happiness after another after all she had to go through.
Her health gets worse.
Tsukasa watches his sister's pale and unconscious form on the hospital bed, breathing like every inhale hurt. He watches her and thinks of how excited she was to go to school with the rest of her friends. He watches her and thinks of the preparation he did for the congratulations party. He watches her and feels anger like a tide sweep over him. He feels anger towards fate, towards whoever made the stupid decision to give his little sister so much pain, towards this universe that's so dead set on making her suffer.
Wasn't taking her childhood enough?
He wants to tell fate to go away, he wants to shield his sister from fate with all the anger he has inside his body.
Tsukasa who grew up so resentful, so hopeful, so angry towards fate.
This is the rage of a child who has acquainted himself with anger in the absence of his sadness.
Tsukasa takes a shaky breath as he exits the room to the sound of his sister's weak breathing.
Let's talk about Tsukasa and how he forgets.
No use dwelling over a sad and lonely past , Tsukasa always thinks as he graduates from junior high school, as he moves forward without looking back, without looking at how bruised he has gotten because bruises should be left behind along with the past, right?
Let's talk about Tsukasa who forgets that bruises that are out of sight are still bruises.
Tsukasa loses sight of his goal.
He forgets.
Let's talk about Tsukasa and his flaws.
He's nowhere near perfect. He knows that. He's nowhere near the perfection he strives to be. He's arrogant, talks too loud, keeps forgetting, he's self-centred; the list of his flaws are endless.
But.
But he's learning. He's growing.
This is a nebula who has collapsed in his pursuit towards becoming the north star.
He hurts someone who's like him. Someone who was learning too. Kusanagi Nene who was learning to navigate the same stage that once hurt her. He hurts her to the point of crying and running away. Rui follows her but not before tearing off the pride that Tsukasa had been holding onto with sharp words and brutal honesty.
"One person alone cannot make the greatest show. You cannot become a star." He had said, a declaration of a sort.
"I'm not coming here again." He'd said next, a promise.
Emu attempts to help but his anger only shows up in its ugliest and Tsukasa walks away, not wanting to explode in front of Emu too.
Tsukasa has flaws. He won't deny it. He's not perfect. He's not the perfection he strives to be. But he's learning.
So he learns to listen once again.
He listens. To Miku, to Emu who tells him about her grandpa, about ideals, about giving up if for the sake of others. He listens to Nene, her fear of failure, her fear of rejection, her stage fright and her remorse. He listens, he apologises, he forgives.
Later Rui listens too and he forgives too.
Humans grow by learning.
Tsukasa learns. He grows.
His world expands. The star expands.
His feelings that created a world, creates a song. His song. Their song.
Growing isn't one linear thing. Tsukasa grows as he goes, he stumbles through it, the bruises of the past still hinder him.
Let's talk about Tsukasa and his anger.
This little kid who grew up so resentful, so hopeful, so angry at fate.
That same fate that robbed Saki of a normal childhood. That same fate that made Saki suffer so much.
Tsukasa doesn't allow himself sadness so he chooses anger, he learns anger.
Let's talk about Tsukasa who has learned to weaponize anger in a way that only hurts himself.
That same anger, that pointless anger, deflates in Tsukasa's chest and leaves him unsatisfied.
That same anger Tsukasa feels erupt in his chest when he sees Rui holding back from creating the best show he can. That same anger that makes Tsukasa feel guilt so sharp all of that pointless, pointless anger deflates again and he's left there guilty and unsatisfied.
This isn't how I wanted it to be, Tsukasa thinks as he watches Rui's calm expression crease up into one of annoyance and anger. This isn't what I wanted.
When the mind cannot blame anyone, it often turns on itself.
He wants to apologise as soon as possible, for accusing Rui of holding back when he did that just because Tsukasa got hurt. Rui comes back and Tsukasa feels the apology come up but like the ever forgiving person he is, Rui moves on in his own way of apologising. I won't hold back again, he seems to say when he instructs Tsukasa to climb the ladder more desperately.
That's an apology too.
Tsukasa feels the apology burn the inside of his throat.
Let's talk about Tsukasa who still feels guilty. Tsukasa who carries guilt like a part of him. Tsukasa who decides to move forward with this guilt. There's no point in stopping for anything at this point , he thinks as the audience bursts out into a thunderous applause at the end of the show.
Let's talk about Tsukasa who loves and loves dearly.
It's only Saki at first. It has always been only Saki at first.
He loves her like he hopes all brothers in the world love their younger sisters. Little sisters after all are a blessing to have. Saki is a blessing. Even if she had been born with a condition that seemed like a curse, Tsukasa knew that Saki was a blessing very early. He knows it when he's barely old enough to know of the world. Tsukasa sees his younger sister bundled up, with a short tuft of blonde hair on her head, her eyes squinted in defiance as she cried and Tsukasa felt a hammer fall on his heart, making a small crack in what would later become a carving that defined him- I'll take care of her.
Tsukasa who has only felt the love one would feel towards their sister.
Tsukasa who doesn't understand when his breath gets stuck in his chest when Nene sings, Tsukasa who doesn't understand why Rui looking at him so fondly makes him want to hide, Tsukasa who doesn't understand why Emu's hugs leave him feeling warm even after hours have passed.
Tsukasa doesn't understand attraction the way normal people usually do.
He has never liked anyone the way he does his troupemates so it's uncharted territory when he starts falling.
Falling is not a very good word to describe love, Tsukasa personally thinks. Falling implies the degradation of something. Tsukasa doesn't fall.
He floats. He levitates. He's risen to heights he's never reached before, he reaches the top of clouds and marvels at the world he sees below.
Falling is not a word for love.
Tsukasa flies .
Tsukasa who thought he was weird for not being interested in girls when that was all boys his age talked about.
Maybe I'm not a boy then, is a thought that comes up often when he listens to his classmates talk like that.
That thought makes him a little uncomfortable with how often it makes appearances. Tsukasa was raised as a boy, raised to become a man, so when thoughts like these come, he feels wrongness in his core. He feels wrong even though he knows that he's the most comfortable in the short span of these fleeting thoughts.
So when he finds himself staring at Nene and Emu for longer than would be necessary, he feels relieved, like it rights his place as a normal boy his age. He recognizes the way his pulse quickens when Emu sticks close to him as attraction, he recognizes the way his eyes drift to Nene's lips when they dance together as attraction, he recognizes his want to be with them as attraction.
What he doesn't recognize as attraction is the way his cheeks burn when he sees Rui tuck the longer part of his hair behind his ear before eating.
It's strange.
Tsukasa acknowledges his interest towards Nene and Emu as attraction but he refuses to put a name on the way his gut churns when his hand so much as brushes against Rui.
It's odd.
Maybe if Rui were a girl, Tsukasa would be less confused but he's not so he refuses to acknowledge those feelings.
He admires Rui. It's admiration, is what he tells himself.
Then, on their trip to America, Tsukasa sees it.
He doesn't notice it initially because he's in a rush to get the clothes he packed but forgot in his excitement to board a plane for the first time. They land on an airport that smells all weird instead of the same familiar scent of their homeland and Tsukasa immediately begins striking poses. He notices it when Nene tells Emu and him to stay close to them and Rui is chuckling, holding onto his phone like he's recording everything and oh .
Those aren't weirdly loose culotte pants.
Rui is wearing a long skirt.
Tsukasa questions everything he's known up until now.
When they reach their hotel room, Emu runs off elsewhere and Nene follows her while telling her to stay put. Tsukasa and Rui are the only ones in the room.
He wants to bring the skirt thing up so badly but he isn't even sure how to phrase his question. How does he even begin to say something? This is the first time Tsukasa has seen a guy wear a skirt. He thought those were a girls' only thing. Is Rui even a guy? Suddenly all those times Rui has ever used the more polite and gender neutral form of "I" flashes through his mind like a thick stack of evidence.
"Tsukasa," Rui calls. He has a smile on his face like he knows everything, even what's going through Tsukasa's brain. "Do you have something you want to ask me?"
Tsukasa coughs loudly and stutters through his reply, "O-Of course not! Why would you think so?"
Dammit, he thinks. He gave himself away.
Rui catches on like the perceptive guy he is and makes an amused humming sound. Then he stalks over to Tsukasa's bed where he's unpacking his clothes and essentials, taking languid yet long steps. That damn long skirt of his swishes like it's making a mockery of Tsukasa.
"Why are you coming here?"
"Why am I indeed?" Rui says instead of answering. He doesn't stop.
Rui pauses right before where he is sitting and Tsukasa feels his heartbeat in his ears. Suddenly the entire room feels too small. Tsukasa meets his eyes, feeling a bit like he's been trapped in some intricate ploy Rui weaved. From his peripheral vision, Tsukasa notices movement but doesn't dare break eye contact until Rui speaks again.
"You've been glancing at this since we landed here."
Feeling like he's swimming through quicksand, Tsukasa breaks eye contact first and looks down at where Rui tugs at the skirt he's wearing, the cloth unmistakably drawn up with no hints of it somehow being pants.
Tsukasa opens his mouth and then closes it and then opens it again.
He doesn't know how to word it at all. He's never seen something like this happen. It's weird, it's unusual, it's a bit intriguing in some way.
"What are you?" is what Tsukasa asks in the end.
"I'm me obviously." Rui says simply, "Kamishiro Rui, the one and only director of Wonderlands × Showtime, the childhood friend of Kusanagi Nene, partner in crime to Ootori Emu and-"
"I'm not asking you that, don't play dumb." He snaps and regrets it immediately. Tsukasa and how he weaponizes anger.
"I told you," Rui says, this time his voice is less teasing and he looks at Tsukasa like he understands, like he's seen him before. "I'm Kamishiro Rui. And as I was about to continue earlier, friend to Tenma Tsukasa, future star in the making."
"And that's enough?" Tsukasa asks.
It's a plea even if it doesn't sound like one. It's a person who has only ever felt weird asking another who has only ever been weird if it's okay to just be.
Rui's face softens and he smiles a bit. "It is."
Tsukasa thinks about it.
About being a boy, about being a girl, about being a person, about being something to someone like how Rui defined himself.
It still feels strange.
It's strange but Tsukasa finds comfort in the fact that he can just exist like this and that he doesn't have to be what people have always told him to be.
Maybe I'm not a boy, that thought comes again. This time it's louder and this time Tsukasa holds onto the feeling it brings to him. The peace, comfort and reassurance of just being and that being more than enough.
"What are you?" Tsukasa had asked.
Rui replied with the connections, friendships and the bonds he's made. His existence as the numerous people he's interacted with. Made of all who are willing to know him and all who he knows.
Nene is conviction, strength, and the will to make dreams come true. This is someone who wills the sky to rain snow upon them with her voice. This is someone who got burned once yet still wants to reach the sun, past pain be damned.
Emu is strength too, she's connections too, she's the morning sun as it rises, with her brilliance and hope for a better day. She's the sun that exists and keeps existing to burn bright and make life easier for everyone even when it gets dark. The sun never sets in Wonderlands × Showtime.
What is Tenma Tsukasa?
What is Tenma Tsukasa if not made from the sinews of responsibilities and duties, held together by love?
Tsukasa who loves and loves to the point that his existence is defined by how much he does for others and how brightly he shines in their memories.
Tsukasa who kept himself from the world as if that would make Saki feel better for not being in it. If she can't experience this, then I won't either, he had thought as if it were as simple as a kid pushing away his food until his sister came downstairs to eat it too.
What he didn't know was that even if his sister's world slowed, it never stopped. She grew like how wildflowers grow in the cracks and crevices of ruins. She grew while Tsukasa, guilty as he was, refused to budge until he could see his sister.
Tsukasa's world stopped a little but now it's okay because his world is just starting. With Nene, Emu and Rui, it's starting and it's allowing him to grow as he goes.
Humans grow by learning.
Tsukasa learns.
Tsukasa grows.
This star who was once a nebula that collapsed and now a glowing stellar thing who has survived it all.
What stars meant to Torpe is the same thing as what Saki's smile and playing the piano was to Tsukasa, is to Tsukasa.
Saki who looked at her guiding north to seek comfort, the guiding north who stared back at this bright, bright star to seek comfort.
This bright, bright star who has found her own constellation in her childhood friends, now her band members.
Tsukasa who has found his own constellation too.
Let's talk about Tsukasa who loves and the Tsukasa who is loved back.
"You should've been more careful about not falling asleep when you got the role of becoming the Empress Doll." He scolds the hologram projection of Luka, "If the plushies weren't there to break your fall, who knows what might have happened?"
"Mmhm," Luka replies, her tone is languid and unhurried for someone being scolded, "Tsukasa is just like Kaito. Kaito said the same thing too. You two care about all of us a lot."
He huffs. "As the leader, it's our duty to worry after all of you. Geez, if you guys weren't so reckless and irresponsible maybe we'd lessen the lecture."
Luka giggles and then asks, "What are the balloons on the table for? It looks like something Rui made."
"He did. They came over to my room the other day to make plans about our next show and got distracted." Tsukasa answers. "Oi, don't try to change the subject while I'm still-"
"Hmm?" She tilts her head, "You have more CDs than the last time I saw your room."
"Nene lent copies of some of her favourite musicals to me. Why are you so observant and curious all of a sudden?" He sighs, giving up on the lecture.
Luka's face scrunches up into a happy smile. "No reason. I think I just like your room better now."
Tsukasa cannot say he disagrees.
The previously bland and boring room of his has changed a bit.
Some of the plushies Touya sent remain in his room, some on his study desk, the rest on his bed kept neatly by his pillow. Nene's copies of the musicals are stacked carefully by his book shelf. The large clear and clean mirror he has is now decorated with a few stickers Emu brought over. She insisted on sticking more on his trophy cabinet to make it look more 'sparkle sparkle' and 'smiley smiley' but Tsukasa didn't let her and he still has pages of stickers inside his drawer in case he changes his mind about them.
Tsukasa doesn't want his room to look too crowded and messy with all the stickers.
The balloon animals Rui made to keep Emu entertained as they stayed over in Tsukasa's room still lay on the table but he doesn't want to throw it away. That same large mirror also has a number of colourful sticky notes with plans for his shows and other things so Tsukasa doesn't forget.
"I like my room better now too." Tsukasa agrees. It's not a conscious decision he makes as a smile creeps up on his face. He thinks of his troupe mate, about what his life used to be, about what he is now and what he wants to be and Tsukasa cannot deny that he's more content now than he ever has been.
"Emu, Rui and Nene; those bunch are so troublesome sometimes. Emu and Rui are a given but when Nene plays along with them, they're impossible to deal with." He says as if his chest isn't warm just thinking of the three. "They're troublesome sometimes but I wouldn't be where I am if not for them. I'm thankful." I love them, he doesn't say.
It's no secret that they like each other at this point in their relationship. They're all dating each other, they're all happy like this. Everyday is made all the more fun when he gets to experience it with those three. Tsukasa is navigating blindly through it all. He's navigating uncharted territory with his lovers.
Tsukasa believes that they can do this. If it's the four of them together, there's very little they cannot do.
The thrill of first love, the high of his first kiss, the freedom to say how much they like each other, the freedom to be who they are; Tsukasa likes it.
Tsukasa loves them.
"You can go back to sekai if you want to, Luka." He says after and gets no reply.
When Tsukasa turns to look at his phone, Luka is fast asleep.