Chapter Text
Gotham City - April, 2004
He isn’t quite sure when it got so bad. Perhaps the previous year. The hits had just kept coming; Catwoman , the lost time, getting kidnapped by Scarecrow, Lois , Sid the Squid, Lock-Up, Boss Biggis, the Santinis, Bane...to say that 2003 was not Hood’s year would be a massive understatement. And 2004 was shaping up to be more of the same. Already only a few months in and he’s had his Batman mind controlled by Brainiac then met the Man of Steel and was forced to pretend he was Batman for a week . Hood didn’t like to dwell on self-reflection, or why exactly he did things. Of how he reacted. But he knew he was getting worse...it was getting harder to hold back.
The next time Batman disappeared or was presumed dead...Hood was afraid he’d cross a line he’d never come back from. The idea that it was growing consumed his mind as he stared at his wall in his apartment. The articles he’d meticulously pinned there stared back at him. What he was thinking was almost impossible to consider.
“I need to get over him.”
He’d been in love with Batsy for as long as his memory stretched. But he was very aware that it was an unreachable goal, something so high he blinded himself looking up. He was letting it consume him, and normally he would happily let it, but lately he’d gotten... violent when Bats was parted from him.
That would pose a problem if not addressed. After all, eventually Bats would find someone who would stick around. Hood needed to face the realities of that. He sighed and hid his face in his hands. This was going to be miserable.
And misery loves company, so he picked up his phone and dialed a familiar number. Maybe spending some time with a friend would help him through this.
~~
“Let me take you out.”
Hood looked up from his cocoa to stare at his friend in shock. “What?”
“Go to dinner with me.” Eddie repeated with a soft smile. “You seem to be pretty down, which is unusual for you J. Maybe a night out will cheer you up.”
With a half smile of skepticism, Hood rested his chin in his hand. “You’re handsome, Eddie Nashton, but I’m not sure...”
Eddie gave him a smile that Hood had to admit was very charming. “Allow me to try to convince you?” The man offered his hand out and Hood looked at it for a moment before reaching out to take it.
“Oh, alright.”
~~
They go out that evening, have dinner by the docks, laugh and talk and Hood feels lighter than he has in over a year. Eddie has always had a way of keeping him engaged in the moment, his riddles and quizzes taking up the space in his head that had been mulling and fretting. It ironically doesn’t allow him to think, and Hood embraces it.
At the end of their date, Eddie gave him a kiss on the cheek and Hood only blinked once, before returning the gesture. He only thinks for a second about the jaw he wishes he’d kissed, before he buries the urge.
When Eddie calls a few nights later to go see a movie, Hood agrees. He has fun with Eddie, he can decompress. Let go of all his stresses. Gotham crime is quiet, Batman hadn’t called him in for a while. Hood tells himself it has no bearing on him agreeing to go out with Eddie. That’s the point .
You can call a duck a chicken all you like, but it’s still a duck, Hoody.
Ignoring the voice in his head, Hood goes out. And has a wonderful time. So much so, he goes all in, no more hesitation. Being with Eddie makes him happy and he doesn’t have many things that do that in his life. They develop a routine, every other night is spent together. Whether going on a date or staying in talking and playing games. The nights they don’t spend together Hood spends on patrol. It’s a nice balance, he thinks. After a few weeks of this, he even dares to accept the invite to stay the night at Eddie’s.
~~
One evening, with Eddie in his arms just enjoying the peace, Hood makes a decision.
“There’s something I should tell you, Eddie,” Hood begins softly, hesitant to disturb this peace he’s found. The red head hums an inquisitive noise, adjusting where he’d had his head on Hood’s shoulder.
“Yes?”
For a moment he pauses. How does one say I’m the vigilante Red Hood, remember that one time you tried to kill me in a giant puzzle maze? I know you’re a criminal named The Riddler technically on the run and wait no I’m not trying to trap you-
“Do you...remember the first time we met?”
“Is this a riddle?” Eddie asks with amusement in his voice and Hood really wishes he’d sense the tension starting to coil in Hood’s stomach.
“Well, no- I mean, it might be? Because we’re thinking of two different things.”
“I’m afraid for all my astounding intellect, I’m not following, J.”
Hood groans, “I’m messing this up. Um. Okay, I’m going to say something but you have to- to not freak out.”
At that, Eddie finally lifts himself off Hood and stares down at him, blue eyes filled with worry and apprehension. “You’re not going to say you’re married, are you?”
He can’t help himself, Hood lets out a laugh far too loud for four in the morning. “No. No, I’m pretty sure I’m not, and I wouldn’t do that. Ah, no this is, I mean I’m telling you because we’re close, obviously,” Hood flails a hand between the minimal space between their bare chests, “but it has nothing to do with our relationship.”
Eddie tilts his head, thoroughly confused now and beginning to pout a little. Hood feels a brief urge to kiss it. He probably shouldn’t considering he’s trying to get somewhere in this conversation.
“I’m the Red Hood.”
The silence after those four simple words was just as quiet as the peace before, but without any of the contentment.
Eddie pulled back, off of Hood and off the bed, his face morphing into a thunderous scowl. “ You’re-”
Hood hurried to try to cut off his anger, “I meant what I said, it had nothing to do with our friendship or- or our relationship! I mean, if you’re worried about me turning you in for the maze thing or trying to kill me, you don’t have to be-”
Eddie didn’t seem to hear him as he paced in front of the bed and cut him off, “Your name…”
It brought Hood up short. Pushing himself upright so he could maybe do this at eye level, he blinked, “What about it?”
“Your name is John Hood . It’s like you picked it out yourself! Or did you choose the name Red Hood because of your last name? Were you mocking everyone to just take that one leap of logic to figuring out who you are?” Eddie paused his pacing, a new thought forming and then he looked even angrier as he pointed an accusing finger, “Or was it just me ? Is your name even really John Hood or was that just a game you were playing, waiting to see when I’d figure it out?!”
Now was probably not the time to mention Hood had picked it himself...because he couldn’t remember what his original name had been, but that odds weren’t high it actually was John ‘call me J or Jack’ Hood.
“No, no I just- You’ve seen my life, Eddie, we’ve been friends for years now, I don’t exactly have much. I'm nobody in Gotham, until I put on the red helmet. I swear it wasn’t a game, I just- yes I picked Red Hood because I’m not terribly creative.”
Probably .
Eddie ran a hand through his hair. “How can I believe you, you’ve lied to me all this time. I brought you into my home!” With a wide wave, he indicated the room they were in, the place rented under a likely assumed alias, as even if the public wasn’t 100% aware of who the Riddler was, the police would be on the lookout for listings under Edward Nygma.
“You trusted me, I know. It’s why I’m telling you Eddie. I trust you !”
Blue eyes stared into green, a war between stung pride and pleading.
“My job is- is just a job,” Hood starts, even knowing it’s a lie. Being Red Hood is his truest self, the only reason he wakes up in the morning. But Eddie could become a reason too, and Hood doesn’t want to throw that chance away just yet. “When we first met, as J and Eddie, I was being honest when I said I was a fan of Riddle of the Minotaur. I loved the game, and it’s because of my knowledge of it that- that Batman and I got so far in before-“
“Before he cheated .”
“Well,” Hood defends, “You only gave us four minutes.”
Eddie crosses his arms, still offended, but it lost some of the effect given he was standing there in just his boxers.
“Anyway, you’re brilliant Eddie. You know that, I know that, and what Mockridge did was wrong so Batman and I, well I mean we couldn’t let you kill him, but we didn’t go after you for a reason. And I know you noticed the police only got your name out of Mockridge.”
That causes Eddie to look back at him with a curious hope. “So you didn’t tell them, despite figuring it out from the get go?”
“No. I mean, we work with the police, but we’re vigilantes, Eddie. We want Justice, and that’s not always what’s going to happen with the law. We just, don’t allow murder.” At least, that's always how he saw it.
Finally Eddie sits back down on the bed, though his back is to Hood it feels like progress. “I didn’t kill him, you know. After you foiled my plot, I realized him living in fear of me was payment enough.” Eddie admits, looking over his shoulder out of the corn of his eye. “One’s imagination can be crueler than reality.”
Oh don’t I know it . Hood thinks. “Nothing has to change, Eddie. The past is just the past, right?” Hood isn’t sure who he’s trying to convince, Eddie or himself.
“I need- I need to think about this.” Eddie admits, turning away. Hood’s heart sinks a little but he nods, getting up to gather his clothes and give Eddie some time.
~~
It takes Eddie a few days to completely cool off from the revelation. Hood lets him have the space, and endures the looks Bats gives him as he meets up for patrol each night, dividing the city into areas between them to cover more ground. He told Eddie who he was and didn’t really think about it, but in hindsight wonders if he should’ve asked Bats first.
He worries that that is the reason for the looks Batman has been giving him. Like he’s a puzzle, heh , that he can’t figure out. It’s led to awkwardness between them that makes Hood’s skin itch, but it’ll pass. He keeps telling himself, hoping if he repeats it, it’ll be true.
When he gets a call from Eddie almost a week later, tentatively asking if he’s available for a movie or game at Eddie’s, Hood is too relieved to focus on the lingering oddness of interactions with Batman.
~~
Little conversations about it happen. Hood states full stop he will not say anything about who Batman is. His own identity is practically meaningless, but he won’t risk someone else’s. Eddie asks why he does what he does. Hood replies the best he can.
“Why do you enjoy riddles?”
“Are you changing the subject?” Eddie asks with an amused brow.
“No. I mean, being Red Hood is who I am. It’s like...asking why the laws of nature are the way they are.”
“You know, there are whole careers dedicated to that very thing.”
Hood shoves his shoulder and they both laugh. Neither of them points out he didn’t really answer the question.
~~
All told it lasts twelve weeks. Hood believes in the self-told lie that he can do this. But the lie’s worn thin, while Eddie makes him happy, he knows there’s something missing. Something he told himself he didn’t need. But it’s not fair to lie anymore, and worse it’s not fair to his best friend.
Eddie doesn’t take it well. Or rather, Hood thinks he understands...until Eddie goes after Batman with a vengeance not seen from him before. It lands him in Arkham, and Hood wonders if it wouldn’t have been better to not try at all. He fears he sacrificed not only Eddie’s freedom, but also his friendship.
He doesn’t have long to mourn the loss because the next month the world almost ends when aliens attack Earth. In the ashes of the final battle, the Justice League is born. Hood declines the invitation. He doesn’t feel like much of a hero, lately.