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Wickedness unbound
The pursuit of the precious
Destiny awaits
The air was silent as he thought back to the haiku left for him. There were a lot of questions, but he managed to figure out what the message meant, and considering who would write in such a manner, it was increasingly obvious what was waiting for him.
The trip back to Alterna left him paranoid. The facilities were still running, but no one knew what other horrendous secrets remained locked away. Even after the defeat of Mr. Grizz, there were still numerous depths to explore. Something was still out there, possibly ready to continue where Mr. Grizz left off.
Of course, it was too much for Agent 3 and the Captain, Clora, to manage by themselves. The latter had no choice but to relocate some of the other agents to Splatsville to lend a helping hand, but the process would take a while. In the meantime, Agent 3 went about his days like usual, chasing remnants of the past on one side in the desert, occasionally stepping into Turf Wars to hone his skills in the middle, and balancing his duties as an agent of the New Squidbeak Splatoon on the other side.
The important boss kettle came into view, and Agent 3 started to recall the first time he investigated its contents. He didn’t think he would ever return to the boss ones.
Agent 3 entered the kettle and landed in a large chamber. Like every kettle, he waited in the lobby to make sure he had his supplies in order. He examined his customized Splatana Stamper and made sure Little Buddy was okay before stepping through the entryway, where upon entering, a series of nozzles extended from the sides.
He loosened his muscles as he received a burst of cool purifying mist before being permitted to advance.
“How does that even feel?” a voice came through his earpiece. He wasn’t alone.
“It feels good,” he replied. “Refreshing.”
Beyond the initial chamber was a large room with a single platform surrounded by blue ink and isolated pillars. Nothing changed since his last excursion, but his body remembered the chills.
He stepped past the jump pad and scanned the arena’s floor. Of course, to no one’s surprise, a familiar presence occupied the stage.
“Of course, she’s here before me,” he said with a small smile.
“It would be rude to arrive late after announcing a challenge,” another voice replied. It was different from the first. Softer, kinda.
“Speaking of being rude, I better go.”
“‘Pedal to the megalodon?’ Psh! That catchphrase could use some work, right, Agent 3?” the first voice commented.
“What would you say then, Agent 1?” Agent 3 inquired curiously.
“Attack of the megalodon maniac,” they said with pride in their voice.
“Hmm, I… like that a lot actually.”
“See, Agent 2? Agent 3 understands me.”
“Just concentrate on the fight,” Agent 2 reprimanded the two.
“Don’t get distracted, Agent 3,” Agent 1 advised, although with a mischievous giggle. “We’re rooting for you.”
Agent 3 felt his cheeks become hot. He wasn’t going to make any promises, but he did intend to enjoy himself.
“Right,” he patted his bag and got his companion’s attention. “You ready, Levi?”
“Waaah!” Little Buddy cried out.
Agent 3 swam into the jump pad, and in an instant, he was flung through the air onto the platform below. Upon landing, he was greeted with a cage dropping around the arena once again.
There was no escape.
“You came,” the blue haired, female Octoling spoke up. “I wasn’t expecting you so early.”
The girl turned and collapsed her fan. She pressed a hand to her cheek and smiled.
“Did you miss me that badly? I’m touched.”
When she laughed, it made butterflies flutter inside Agent 3’s chest. It was a beautiful laugh that accentuated her beauty.
He remembered what Agents 1 and 2 said though and calmed himself. He couldn’t afford to get distracted, but he was a slave to her loveliness.
“I didn’t want to be rude and keep a lady waiting,” he responded with a smirk. “I wanted to get here early and surprise you, but you beat me to the punch.”
The girl opened her fan and cooled herself down a little before collapsing it again and giving Agent 3 an inquisitive stare. Her half-lidded, ruby-red eyes were hypnotic, inviting her prey towards her, but he declined. Her rosy lips were beguiling, giving her subtle features more vibrant.
“How sweet of you, but I’m afraid you came all this way just to give me an early win.”
Her eyes grew narrower as she hid partially behind her open fan.
“But where’s that cold shoulder you gave me during our first meeting?”
‘I was too enamored to speak.’ He didn’t want to say that, but it was true.
“I didn’t have the words at the time,” he said instead. “I had to be ready for whatever technique you threw at me.”
“Is that right? Were you so stricken by my beauty that the thought of facing me left you speechless? Or were you afraid of my bite?”
“If I was afraid, I wouldn’t have beaten you the first time,” he retorted, causing his adversary to laugh.
“There it is. Ah, your wickedness knows no bounds. Every battle made you more and more devilish. I thought it unreal when your courage and bravery never waned regardless of the obstacle placed before you, but it was your iniquity.”
She started moving her arm in a circle, her fan held high.
“And that’s supposed to be MY thing,” her voice got cold. “You need to remember your place.”
Agent 3 felt a spike in pressure as the cold-blooded bandit, Shiver, faced the waters.
“Another lesson, Master Mega.”
From the blue depths, the massive Megalodon emerged and let out a piercing roar that shook the chamber. It was a magnificent beast if Agent 3 did say so himself, but he had Little Buddy by his side and thus, the better companion.
‘Wait, this is different.’ Agent 3 was surprised.
Instead of hopping on Master Mega’s back like in their first bout, Shiver stayed on the platform with Agent 3.
“What’s that confused look for?” she taunted. “Did you think I’d punish you the same way twice?”
Agent 3 regained his composure. The change in tactics did catch him off guard.
“You insult me,” Shiver petted her beast, and from seemingly thin air, she pulled out an Octobrush. “But I will acknowledge your abilities. You’ve proven your skills during our last dance. Mayhap it’s time to take it to the next level. I want to see if my appetizer is now a dessert. Think you can handle me, Luke?”
“Let’s find out,” he said, not commenting how nice his name sounded coming from her lips. “I don’t know about you, but I did enjoy our last dance. Will the lady permit me with another, or will our blades be forced to sing our perish songs?”
“Would you two just kiss already?” Agent 2 blurted over the radio.
“Funny, I say the same about you and Agent 4,” Agent 1 giggled. “When was the last time you called him?”
Luke went red in the face but maintained his composure. Thankfully, the shark mistress was unaware of the cousins’ bickering.
Shiver twirled her brush and got into a stance. She held it behind her back with the bristles pointed toward the ground. Her form was flawless, stunning even.
“Are you still confident in your prowess? Think you and your bottomless pit can match up to Master Mega and me?”
Agent 3 could feel the ink rushing to his head. He was getting pumped.
“Don’t forget, my bottomless pit has a monstrous spirit.”
Smallfry hopped out of the bag and nuzzled his caretaker’s leg.
“I’m with you, buddy,” Luke ruffled his head. “Focus on the Megalodon while I tango with the mistress. Watch my back.”
“Waah!” Smallfry listened and skated around the edge of the arena as the massive Megalodon growled in anger. He would not be mocked by a tiny Salmonid.
Shiver smirked as she watched the two size each other up. She was confident that her beast would come out on top, but she didn’t underestimate the power of Little Buddy. The small Salmonid was a force to be reckoned with. More than that, its transformation against the fuzzy general, Mr. Grizz, gave Smallfry a boost in aggression.
She didn’t focus on that though. The shark mistress was excited to play with her new toy. Her adversary’s yellow tentacles framed his handsome face, giving his crimson eyes an eerie look that made her squirm a little inside. It was a look that said he was here to play, and she liked that. She saw no hesitation in the way he held his Splatana Stamper.
“The stage is set,” she announced as she stepped forward. “It’s time to let the games begin. Pedal to the Megalodon! AGAIN!”
Master Mega shook the chamber with his mighty bellow. However, neither he nor Shiver was prepared for the pure, unadulterated, horrifying screech that came from Little Buddy’s tiny body.
“AAAH!” Agent 1 screamed. “That scared me!”
“Let’s dance!” declared the male Octoling, using the idol’s shock to swing his blade and fire a horizontal slash of ink at her.
Shiver was quick to recover and moved deftly on her feet, but Luke was faster. He darted to the side as she tried to slash him with her brush. The ink barely missed him as he narrowly dodged out of the way, both painting the arena in yellow and blue ink.
“Let me remind you how great a team Little Buddy and I are.”
Smallfry zipped around the stage, leaving yellow trails of ink behind for Agent 3 to swim through. For this fight, he didn’t bring any sub-weapons except Little Buddy, but that was a given. He would never leave Little Buddy behind. The Salmonid was enormously important to him.
He tried to get a few slashes in, but Shiver was speeding up. He managed to hit her a few times, but it didn’t faze her. She only got more excited. The shark tamer swung her brush with more grace and poise than any other user, who would swing wildly to fling their ink. Shiver carved out kanji and attacked the agent with precise movements.
Their weapons clashed with a loud bang. Every swing was met with opposition as they danced around the battlefield, hacking and slashing, trying to gain the upper hand.
“As always, your moves are impressive,” Shiver complimented Agent 3 as she dodged another rapid sequence of slashes, retaliating with a series of strokes that carved out her passion for calligraphy.
“As are yours, but I didn’t pin you as an Octobrush main. I pictured you more of a Splatana user like myself.”
“I am the picture of elegance,” Shiver responded, sinking into the blue ink and swimming around the arena at blinding speed. “And the brush,” she popped out behind Agent 3 and smashed her weapon across his back before disappearing again. “Is the perfect tool for a lady such as myself,” she jumped out and swung at an angle.
Agent 3 was cut from the ink and knocked to the edge of the arena, where Master Mega fired a hydro cannon from his mouth. The secret agent didn’t have time to brace himself, but the attack never came as Smallfry threw his small body into the side of the Megalodon’s snout to change its trajectory.
“Thanks, Little Buddy!” Agent 3 moved away from the edge.
“Ooh, nice teamwork,” the shark tamer was impressed. It was the first time she had ever seen anyone stand up to her beast, let alone a Salmonid.
“Bravo!” she clapped her hands in genuine applause. “I like that.”
“I bet you do,” Agent 3 tugged at his shirt. “Getting hot under the collar too or is it just me?”
“Trying to get me worked up?” she said, voice dripping with honey.
“I can think of other things I’d rather do than fight you,” he said, trying to keep his mind on the task at hand. Emphasis on trying.
“Oh?” she raised an eyebrow. “And what might those be?”
“I’d rather not say,” he replied and tapped his earpiece. “We have an audience listening.”
“Yes, so if you’d please save the flirting for OUTSIDE the match, that would be nice,” Agent 2 chided over the comms.
“Aw, c’mon!” Agent 1 whined. “I’m trying to get the 411 on their relationship status!”
“Don’t look too deep into it, Agent 1,” Luke advised. “I don’t think our relationship is at that stage yet.”
“What? Why not?”
“I’m still trying to figure out if she’s into girls or not,” he admitted.
“Oh, that’s a tough one,” Agent 1 said, and the tone in their voice told Agent 3 that they were lost in thought.
“Are you two done?” Agent 2 asked, irritation clear in their voice.
“For now,” Agent 1 relented.
“Good, because you need to focus,” Agent 2 scolded. “This is a serious match. Be happy the captain isn’t here. She’d have a few choice words.”
“Got it,” Agents 1 and 3 said in unison.
“Sorry about that,” Luke turned his attention back to the shark tamer. “Your new boss was giving me some advice. Where were we?”
“I think it was somewhere between me smashing you over the head with my brush and you begging for mercy.”
Agent 3 chuckled. He enjoyed their banter.
Shiver nodded to her Megalodon, and the massive beast started to swim in a circle around the arena. It was building up speed, using its rockets to swim faster, and Agent 3 had a feeling he knew what was coming.
“I hope you’re ready. Master, let’s fin-ish this.”
Like a charged shot, Master Mega leaped out of the water and rushed toward his prey.
The secret agent dove out of the way but couldn’t avoid his fate. His right arm was grazed by the Megalodon’s razor-sharp teeth and sent a painful shock through Luke’s body. He winced and tried to get some distance, but the Megalodon was too fast and relentless.
Little Buddy tried to intercept but couldn’t keep up, and Shiver was a thing of the past as she used the distraction to get close.
Agent 3 narrowly avoided the jaws of death again.
“Three! Behind you!” Agent 2 warned him.
Too late.
Shiver emerged from the blue ink and slapped Agent 3 across the face with her brush.
Luke stumbled, and Shiver mapped out the strikes to complete her symphony.
“Dance of the Megalodon Maniac,” she whispered and charged forward.
The minute Agent 3 regained focus, he was struck by a flurry of rapid strikes from Shiver’s Octobrush. First, the legs, then the stomach, chest, and arms, and finally, she ended her assault with a double drop kick to 3’s chest.
His back hit the ground hard, and the air was expunged from his body.
His adversary landed with poise and put a hand on her hip.
“Agent 3! Are you okay?!” Agent 1 yelled over the comms.
“That had to hurt,” Agent 2 hissed.
Agent 3 looked worse for wear. His body was wracked with pain, and he could barely breathe, but he pushed himself up.
Shiver was impressed. She beat him to the ground, but his tenacity hadn’t waned. She liked that about the agent. She liked how determined he was. Like her fellow idols, she monitored the agent throughout his journey, secretly cheering him on as he braved the depths of Alterna. Even when faced with insurmountable odds, Agent 3 never faltered. He had a goal, and he strove to fulfill them.
It was admirable.
Shiver admired the agent and had grown to respect him. After things calmed down, she did strike up a few conversations with him, but the small talks evolved into full blown meet ups and soon, hangouts. Shiver didn’t realize she was swept up in the moment until it was too late, and her three hearts started to yearn for the next time they met up.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t let these feelings get in the way of claiming victory.
“I’m fine,” Three responded, trying to catch his breath.
“You don’t look fine,” Agent 1 said, worry evident in her voice.
“I’m fine,” he repeated. “Just give me a sec.”
“You don’t have a sec,” Agent 2 interjected. “She’s coming for you again.”
And she was. Shiver was charging towards him with her brush raised high, but before she could reach him, Smallfry jumped in front of his caretaker and put himself between them.
“Better move, bottomless pit!” Shiver told it.
“Get out of there!” Agent 3 cried out.
Little Buddy didn’t back down. He dug deep and stopped Shiver’s progress by screaming at the top of his lungs like he did before the fight began. Shiver was halted in her tracks and deafened by the screech.
“You rock, Little Buddy,” Agent 3 smiled like a proud father. He picked himself up and haggardly raised his Splatana Stamper, but he was cut off by Master Mega throwing himself in front of his mistress to take the slash. The ink stung something fierce, but the Megalodon endured it and slapped the weapon out of Agent 3’s hand with his tail.
“Got you!” Shiver jumped out of her ink and tackled her opponent to the ground. She aimed to deliver the decisive blow but was thrown off balance by Little Buddy and flipped on her back by Agent 3.
“Sorry about this,” he apologized. He resorted to his final gambit.
A tickling.
It was a cheap tactic, but it was all he had. The secret agent started to tickle the idol’s sides.
“S-stop!” she cried out between fits of laughter, a shrill cackle not like her melodious singing voice. “N-No fair!”
“All’s fair in love and war,” he retorted. “Now, do you yield?”
“N-Never!” she screamed, but her body was betraying her. She couldn't move. She couldn’t muster the strength to fight back. “I am… the cold-blood… bandit!”
Agent 3 kept tickling her, and eventually, she tapped out. She had no choice.
"I-I yield!" she gasped out between breaths. "You win! Please!”
Luke clumsily stumbled off her and offered his hand to help her up, but she refused and got up on her own.
“Umm, good match?” the male Octoling smiled awkwardly.
"Yes, it was," she agreed, trying to catch her breath. "Until you used such a reprehensible trick.”
“You gave me no choice. I had to do something.”
Shiver glared at 3 and then turned her head with a “Hmph.”
"I'm sorry," he apologized, placing both hands together. "It was the heat of the moment."
Shiver opened her fan and eyed the agent up while hiding a mischievous smile. Her three hearts were pounding against her chest.
"I’m not sure you deserve my forgiveness,” she stated. “I gave you a proper fight and used everything at my disposal, but you would lower yourself to disgraceful tactics. I have never been more disappointed.”
“Sorry,” he apologized again, hanging his head.
Shiver couldn’t bring herself to be mad, but she also enjoyed giving the agent a hard time.
“Hmm, if you truly want my pardon, there is something you can do for me. If you’re willing to go the extra mile.”
“Yes, please. What is it?”
Shiver cradled his chin and giggled softly as Luke stiffened.
“Dinner,” she stated plainly.
“… Huh?” was all Agent 3 could say.
“Dinner,” she repeated, walking her fingers up Luke’s chest. “Tonight. My place.”
“I-I’d love to,” he managed to say. He could get lost for eternity in her sparkling ruby eyes, shuddering from feeling her warm breath touch his lips. His mind was spiraling out of control, unable to comprehend the world with the female seductress so casually close to him.
“Great, I’ll see you tonight then,” she leaned closer and whispered in his ear, “By the way, I like boys.”
The cage rose, allowing the occupants to leave. With that, Shiver gave Luke a parting wink and called Master Mega to her side. She hopped on his back and rode the Megalodon out of the chamber.
Meanwhile, Luke was left in the arena with a dumbfounded countenance. He couldn’t believe what happened and thought he was dreaming for a second, but the pinch didn’t change anything. Levi climbing his body and perching himself on Luke’s head didn’t change anything.
“Agent 3, are you okay?” Agent 1 inquired.
“I think he’s broken,” Agent 2 commented. “Wake up, soldier. You have a dinner date to prepare for.”
Luke was silent, mouth hanging open as his brain tried and failed to wrap itself around Shiver’s invitation.
‘There’s no way she’s serious. This has to be a tease.’
“That’s a boy in love right there,” Agent 1 swooned. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
“She’s teasing me,” Luke whispered but loud enough for the girls to hear.
“There’s the doubt,” Marie commented. “I was waiting for it.”
“Agent 4 was the same, you know.”
“… Don’t remind me.”
“Callie and Marie!” Agent 3 suddenly called out, startling the girls on the other end. “I need your help. I don’t have anything fresh to wear!”
"You came to the right girls," Marie said.
"We’ll have you looking so fresh, Shiver won’t be the only girl inviting you to dinner," Callie declared. "And Agent 3, you and I are going to have a nice long chat if you don’t provide results."
Three gave a nervous laugh. "R-right, no worries."
He had a feeling he was going to need all the help he could get.