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"Why do you care so much about me, Mikasa?"
Mikasa's mind raced as she struggled to hang onto every word. She stood there with her mouth agape, paralyzed by the sudden question, slapped by Eren's sudden challenge to confront the feelings that lorded every waking moment she's had for half her life.
She trained her eyes on his gaze, once so full of fervor, now so old and usually far away. But tonight's imploringly earnest and solemn crook in his brow made the soldier's knees want to buckle at the notion that this day wouldn't have come, not until all of this was over, not until Eren found freedom for the both of them. And yet, he was here, on this hill smack in the middle of enemy grounds, with star-kissed tears in his eyes and he was looking right at her. Her heart beat so hard and fast she thought it would burst.
" Of course," bubbled up in her throat, but that answer wouldn't make sense. She wasn't always the best with words, and she hoped her actions would suffice. Nevertheless, she meant her of course with the same absolutism as the existence of time, of the ground beneath them, of the stars above: that of course, I love you, you are everything to me, and I will show you this as many times as you want, now and forever.
"Is it because I saved you when you were little, or is it because I'm your family?" Eren tried again, tone steady. "What am I to you?"
Eren's eyes darkened. Now or never, Mikasa.
"Y-you're..." she managed.
Tears welled in her eyes as the words only stuck in her throat. Why was he so somber and resolute? Why ask this question now, while the mission wasn't done? What was he seeing that she wasn't? What would become of her answer?
"You're family," she started with a little too much conviction, but otherwise she would have been stuck there forever.
She would explain that yes, she loved him when he saved her. But, she loved him when he wrapped his scarf around her neck. She loved him when his warm hand took hers and he welcomed her home. She loved him when he so easily welcomed her as family. That was when the world could be beautiful again, only because he was in it.
But then an older man appeared beside them, which caught Mikasa off guard and sent her train of thought crashing into the abyss. It was immediately replaced by her signature Ackermann alertness, as her senses came flooding back to her.
The man held out a tray with two beverages for the both of them, and said something she did not understand.
Without a heartbeat, Eren explained to her softly that it was gesture of welcome. Armin, Jean, Sasha and Connie would then join in, and the friendly noise would return for the rest of the night.
And the moment was over. Eren seemed content as their friends crowded him, admonishing him for his disappearance. Mikasa couldn't tell if he really was alright these days. Later, she vowed to herself, missing the scarf that forsook her neck. Maybe he would grant her another quiet moment to explain herself. Maybe she would warrant it herself. Maybe she'd do it later tonight. Maybe she'd do it tomorrow, after the convention. And maybe, just maybe, if she did, he would come back to her and smile once more.