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The JSA Group Chat Presents: Emergency White Ape Roll Call

Summary:

Courtney: ok!!!!!

Courtney: because there is a gorilla on the loose we will now be doing roll calls every morning!!! It is absolutely mandatory that you respond to this gc when you wake up so that we know you are alive and well and not brain-eaten!!!

Work Text:

Courtney: ok!!!!!

Courtney: because there is a gorilla on the loose we will now be doing roll calls every morning!!! It is absolutely mandatory that you respond to this gc when you wake up so that we know you are alive and well and not brain-eaten!!! 

Yolanda: well considering I am looking over your shoulder as you type this do I really need to say “here”

Courtney: yes pls set an example 

Yolanda: fine. Here. 

Yolanda: And Mrs. Whitmore is also here, she’s just making toast which apparently takes all of her focus

Mike: it does :/

Beth: here

Mike: here

Jakeem: here. Sorry i was eating cheerios 

Cindy: whatever

Pat: Here.

Artemis:

Courtney: are you good?

Artemis: i responded. 

Courtney: ok!!! Whatever you can do that’s ok!!!

Yolanda: Court do not coddle her 

Courtney: i’m not coddling!!!!

Zeek: zeek here bright an’ early for a good ole’ gorilla shake 

Courtney: and rick??

Beth: I’m working on it

Yolanda: ok no but seriously where IS he 

Beth: I can track his hourglass but it’s like a wild goose chase. By the time i’m there the signal is somewhere else

Courtney: are we saying rick is MISSING?

Beth: …yes

Beth: I’ve been saying this every day for the last 3 days, Courtney. 

Courtney: WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME THIS???? 

Beth: I did, Courtney. 

Courtney: MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE SAID IT LOUDER? 

Beth: MAYBE I TRIED TO EXPLAIN HE IS IN DANGER BUT NOBODY HERE SEEMS TO CARE OR NOTICE THAT HE’S BEEN GONE AND NEEDS HELP!

Mike: oh damn 

Pat: Beth, let’s not get too hasty.

Beth: You know what? I’m not coming to the JSA meeting. Again. 

Courtney: you weren’t at the JSA meeting yesterday?????

Beth: are you FOR REAL?

Yolanda: Beth, i’ll come with you in 30 mins I just need to finish breakfast too

Courtney: hey. You know who else isn’t here? 

Courtney: sylvester.

Courtney: should I go find him??

Pat: No

Courtney: no?????????

Pat: no 

Courtney: really???

Pat: He is going to cause more ruckus than it is all worth.

Mike: FINALLY PAT

Mike: STAND UP FOR YOURSELF 

Pat: Mike, watch your tone.

Yolanda: Okay I’m just going to eat this burnt toast and pick up some starbucks on the way, beth where are you??

Beth: I’m in my dad’s car by the dry cleaners

Jakeem: should we help find rick too?

Beth: i do not know what state he is in, I’d feel better if you don’t come, Jakeem. Thanks for the offer though.

Zeek: is that boyfriend of yours not treating you well???

Beth: what?? Rick is not my boyfriend!

Courtney: ok but will it be safe for YOU beth?

Beth: yes

Beth: I have a combat mode

Courtney: you have a WHAT?

Yolanda: girlie you’re failing the bff test real bad rn

Courtney: YOU WANNA COMBAT RICK???

Beth: NO!!!!

Beth: I mean if it comes down to it…

Cindy: lmfao i would like to see it

Beth: I trust that I would be able to get through to him before it comes to that 

Mike: im sure Pat will let me borrow STRIPE if u need it 

Beth: No, mike. I do not want to spook him. Ik he is not acting like himself. I won’t lie…he hurt my feelings the last time we talked. But. I can help him. I just want to give him reassurance and compassion ❤️

Zeek: that sure as flying heck sound like he your lover boy to ME

Jakeem: yeah that sounds romantic 

Courtney: how come when i do that with cameron its lacking focus but when beth does that with rick it is nominated for an oscar best picture of the year???

Yolanda: because you and Cameron would have a 18% score on rotten tomatoes

Courtney: wow ok moving on

Courtney: how r u doing artemis???

Artemis:

Courtney: ok!!!!!!!!!! Hang in there!!!!!!!

Cindy: can we PLEASE talk about the APE and more importantly how do we KILL IT??

Courtney: oh. right. yeah idk. Cindy, since you’re in this gc do you wanna join me to find Sylvester?

Cindy: no. I’m sick of your face. I am with Jakeem and Mike

Yolanda: you better watch your mouth, lizard 

Cindy: or what cat girl? gonna hiss at me again?

Jakeem: did y’all hear that???? Cindy said she’s WITH me 

Cindy: unfortunately

Mike: slow down, Romeo

Mike: how do we know if one of us isn’t the ultrahumanite rn????????

Courtney: STOP NO

Beth: OH NO

Yolanda: OMG

Pat: MICHAEL

Mike:

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