Chapter Text
Alex was bored. This was not uncommon and actually quite a frequent occurrence if the recent drop in heroes trying to kill him was anything to go by. Maybe it was because Alex put the heads of the last hero team that tried to fuck with him on scarecrows, then put those scarecrows in the houses of their families. Maybe it was due to the movie that came out implying that he was currently out of the universe getting into a fistfight with Sun Wukong. Either was a viable option.
But it didn’t matter why Alex was bored. When Alex was bored, he made it everyone else's problem, and that typically resulted in the deaths of many many people. Luckily, this time Alex was bored and lonely. While Alex being bored meant people died horrifcally, Alex being lonely he sulked for a day before clinging onto one of his (very few) loved ones. Morgan had been out on an expedition to find a long-lost god with Ohio and didn’t want Alex to scare the god.
“I wouldn’t scare the god that much,” Alex grumbled aloud from his spot on the couch, the words spoken bitterly and immediately seeming ironic now that they were said out loud, “Alright I would, but I’d try not to.” Alex amended to himself, still not the full truth.
Alex stood up almost suddenly, startling the people transformed into furniture in the apartment who were unable to move or flinch. Alex was so entranced by his new idea that he didn’t even find the usual pleasure by the thought of the people transformed into furniture being scared.
He was gonna annoy the shit out of his boyfriend, Rex. Rex used to be his partner but then Morgan started calling themself and Alex Partners in crime so eventually after much deliberation (Exactly an hour, 27 minutes, and 38 seconds of thinking while Morgan tried to beat him down from his floating position on the ceiling with a metal broom) he just decided on boyfriend to spare confusion and be cheesy.
He hadn’t seen Roofer in three days due to him and Camille being packed with meetings. Three days was far too long to go without seeing the person he was dating, especially for a possessive bastard like Alex.
So with a yawn, Alex snapped his fingers to appear in Rex’s apartment.
“Hey Roofer, I’m bore- holy shit.” Alex started cutting xemself off with a curse of surprise once he properly saw the scene in front of xem.
The normally well-kept penthouse was completely covered in fucking blood. It covered the walls and ceilings, along with dead bodies and what appeared to be pieces of people. Both severed arms and unidentified meat chunks were scattered across the room. And standing in the middle of it was Rex Roofer, sitting on his kitchen counter, carefully pulling ‘Kill-Bots’, (a recent invention, tiny robots that attempted to eat your brain by eating through your skull. From what Alex knew, Rex hadn’t had a chance to test it yet.) from a man's skull.
Rex was wearing one of his typical designer suits, with blood soaking through. Blood covered the rich man, not only on his suit but his face, hair, and every visible inch. He didn’t seem to notice Alex yet or be concerned about the blood starting to stain and seemed more preoccupied with cursing the already dead people.
“Fucking degenerates, making me dirty for something so trivial. ” The technology villain cursed other his breath as he ripped off a piece of the corpse's damaged skull, it was only due to Alex’s super hearing that xe heard the comment.
Alex stayed silent for another moment, unsure of how to speak in a rare state of awed silence. Xe leaned against the wall as xe watched his lover with raw amazement in his eyes.
“Well, isn’t this a site for sore eyes,” Alex said finally, startling Rex, xe was grinning like a man in love. Alex for a minute had been content to observe xir surroundings with a feeling of awe and pride for xir partner but seeing Rex so blood-covered made the words simply come out.
“Motherfucker-” Rex cursed and in the span of a second, took out his gun and shot, aiming for Alex's head. The bullet did nothing (other than making the S tiers' already wide grin grow wider) and ricocheted off xir head. Rex stopped himself from shooting a second time as recognition appeared in Rex's eyes,
“Oh Alex, it’s just you! Pardon the mess!” The man's blood-covered face lit up in pure joy.
If Alex were anyone else, he would’ve been fucking terrified of seeing his partner like that. If Alex was Camille, he would’ve scolded Rex harshly for getting blood and human bits on the furniture. But Alex was Alex and instead in Alex-like fashion, crossed the distance and sat on the blood-soaked counter, openly marveling over Rex’s appearance,
“You’re telling me to mind the blood and human bits, apple of my eye?” Alex said teasingly, the pet name dropping off xir tongue easily as xe enjoyed the way Rex scowled at the teasing and flushed at the pet name,
“Nice work and all, dear, but don’t you typically have this done through assassins? Not that I’m complaining.” Alex spoke again, admiring the room with a grin that was now similar to the Cheshire cat. At the last bit, Alex leaned in and licked some of the blood off of his lover's face causing the trillionaire's face to scrunch up in disgust and indignation. Rex had always been a bit of a germ freak and Alex always found it hilarious that licking him always got him so riled up with indignation.
“Urg, if I start, I’ll go on all day.” Roofer replied with annoyance filling his tone as he leaned against Alex's shoulder and continued to take his robots out of a man's skull (albeit slower).
Alex’s shoulder grew damp with blood, not that he minded. In fact, he enjoyed the look of fresh blood on his clothes as long as it wasn’t the blood of someone xe loved.
“Babe, I have literally nothing to do all day. It was either seeing you or committing another massacre, and this,” Alex cut himself off the gesture around the room before settling his hands on Rex's cheeks, “-is far more interesting.”
Alex took his hands off Rex's (now visibly flustered and still blood-covered) face to boop his nose with a blood-covered finger.
Rex sighed dramatically while giving a grin that was truly worthy of a villain his caliber. Finally removing his hands from where he was carefully deconstructing a man's skull to get his precious new inventions out, Rex flopped down in Alex's lap.
Luckily for Rex, the S tier was very used to his lover's brand of being dramatic and had turned off xir invincibility to not kill xir lover. Alex had long grown too attached to Roofer to kill him simply cause it’d be entertaining.
“Alright, so It all started with this one fucking rat!” Rex started, gesturing wildly as he always did when speaking passionately,
“Oh, what’d the bastard do?” Alex said calmly, carefully picking out the chunks of human remains that Rex must’ve gotten stuck in his hair.
“He had the audacity to call Camille a bitch to my face! Thinking I would agree!” The villain answered, outrage at the mere thought filling his voice.
Alex knew why; Rex and Camille had been friends for longer than Alex knew of the name ‘Roofer’. Despite being married for appearances, social reasons, and convenience only, the two had become close friends. So for this, Alex merely chuckled darkly at the fuck up of the poor bastard that insulted the woman Rex loved like a sister.
“So after I kill him publically to set an example to never fuck with me or the people who are mine,” Rex continued speaking, his tone was extremely causal since, for both villains, this was an extremely casual thing,
“As you do.” The destroyer added on, hands still incredibly careful as xe continued picking the human remains out of his lover's hair,
“RIGHT! But then his family decides to get all personal about it and not only do they hire three assassins, all five of them come as well!” Rex shouted frustratedly, his voice changing to take on a more mocking undertone,
“It really isn’t that deep to show up personally and hire assassins.” Alex agreed,
“Like, I don’t know what’s more offensive! The fact that they brought their fucking family like it was a bonding trip that they should bring LiTtLe sAlLy and LiTtLe tImMy to, or the fact that they only brought EIGHT GODDAMN PEOPLE!” Rex vented angrily, hands gesturing wildly like someone trying to flag a plane using determination and rage,
“Fucking rookie mistake, thinking it’d be that easy to kill you.” Alex chuckled with dark amusement, making Rex grin up at xem,
“Damn straight. Plus it just so happened that not only was it a rough day but one of those bastards ripped my new tie!” Rex shouted, his grin of dark enjoyment at the act he committed growing at the ‘Oooooo’ that Alex let out under xir breath
“And extra unfortunately for them, I had just finished the last prototype of my kill-bots (name pending) and only needed a demonstration of violence for them to sense.
“So most of this-” Alex spoke, voice mildly awed at the lovely idea of such dangerous robots, gesturing around the room to the carnage, “-was the kill-bots?”
Rex snorted, as if the question was funny, “Fuck no. The bitches that are still intact are the ones they killed.”
Rex sat up slightly to point to the man that Rex had been picking his bots out of and at the woman slumped over the glass table in the living room. Alex's eyes lit up, yet again, in amazement, as xe always did when learning a loved one did carnage.
“Well, that is truly something!” Alex said, excitement being unable to be hidden in his voice as he looked around the room for a new appreciation for the gore displayed.
Rex laughed from his place in Alex's lap as if that was simply a funny comment in a story that he was telling. The two men looked completely normal in the scene of such gore. With the room covered in chunks of humans, blood, and robots, the two men suited the scene perfectly with their attire. Yet, they treated it as nothing more than a bonding activity. As if humans' lives were something that could be so easily thrown away for fun, which is what the two thought.
“Alex?” Rex broke the comfortable silence, with a light tone,
“Yeah?” Alex answered back, drawing a dick on Rex's face with blood
“When did you love me?” The technology villain asked. Despite the question, it was not asked out of or with much vulnerability. It was asked out of pure curiosity and the S tier did not take it as anything else
“The second I saw you. And you, me?” Alex said back immediately, before asking a question of his own. True to his word, the day he saw Rex was when he was still Superior. And he’ll never forget the sight of an up-and-coming millionaire on TV trying to convince the masses to give their life savings to his business. Added with the fact that so many people did as he wished firmly cemented the name 'Rex Roofer' in his mind.
“When you killed my brother,” Rex said back simply and without thinking. The tone was sweet, and so was the smile Rex gave to the other, which Alex reciprocated in full.
Rex Roofer was a horrible person, and being with Alex only made him worse. But he loved Alex, and he was fine with becoming worse if it meant staying by his side.
After all, their love was never meant to be understood. Not in any humanly possible way.