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Ven sat awake on his bed with no intention of sleeping. He couldn't, because how could he?
Long story short, he caught a glimpse of himself shirtless in the mirror and he is now having an entire dysphoria crisis. One so bad, he doesn't know what to do.
Typically, he would just suck it up, but he just couldn't this time. He had to tell someone, someone like him; someone who would understand his feelings, and not brush them aside.
With the vines of self-hatred and dysphoria grabbing him and trying to pull him under, he needed to just speak, and release those vines.
He had an idea of who he could talk to. Someone with a heart just like his. Someone who has had to mend his heart once, and will have to mend it again.
He grabbed his Gummi Phone and went to typing, with his eyes squinting at the bright light. His impatience led him to not give time to adjust.
Ven: Sora, are you up? -10:38 P.M.
Sora: Yeah, what's up? -10:40 P.M.
Ven: Do you think we could…talk? At Destiny Island? -10:40 P.M.
Ven watched his phone anxiously, waiting for his guiding light to reply.
Sora: Of course!! See you in 10? Maybe 15? Destiny Islands? -10:42 P.M.
Ven: Yes, thank you. -10:43 P.M.
Ven sat his phone face down and sighed, looking up at his mundane ceiling. He certainly felt relieved, and happy that Sora accepted to meet, not that he expected him to decline anyway. Sora is too nice for that.
Ven got out of his bed with the posture of a hunchback and just put some socks and shoes on, soon heading out his room quietly, and out of the house, not daring to disturb Aqua and Terra during their slumber.
He got outside and let the crisp air swirl around him, almost hypnotizing him to stand there forever. It felt great, but he also had conflicting feelings in the air.
Should he turn back?
Should he spare Sora his feelings?
Should he just forget it, and give up?
That creeping feeling still hadn't left him, the lingering feeling of dread, despair, dysphoria, darkness. The feeling of absolute hopelessness.
He fought those feelings, and just forced himself to go forward. He breathed in and sighed shakily.
He activated his armor, and opened the portal to the other worlds, getting on his ride and going straight forward out of the Land of Departure.
He found the galaxy very comforting, and interesting. The worlds just floating around, turning in their very ways. The sparkles and the stars just watching over them, fending off any darkness that lurked around and tried to invade their peace and solitude. The stars were a story of their own with their own inhabitants, big or small. He could probably go on for hours about the stars, planets, the history, beauty, more than just that.
He didn't want to take too long, so he sailed his way over to Destiny Islands. He admired the Island. The way just sitting on the beach and watching the waves could give about anybody some solace was satisfactory, and a comforting factor.
He landed on Destiny Islands and deactivated his armor and keyblade ride. He enjoyed the feelings the island brought him, and the faint memories that looked like blurs it reminded him of. He was connected with Sora's heart for 10 or some years, so it'd only make sense he'd feel some of what Sora felt. His memories, his feelings.
He looked up ahead and saw that Sora was already there, sitting on the beach just staring off into the melodic waves that crashed into one another. He sat far enough back so the waves wouldn't touch him.
He approached, and Sora turned his head, giving Ven's nervous face a smile.
"Hey, Ven!" He patted his hand on the spot next to him on his left. Ven sat down.
"So…what's up?" Sora's voice broke the moment of silence.
Ven took a moment before speaking, trying to think of something to even say. He had never talked to someone about what he was going to talk about before, so he was understandably nervous, maybe even scared.
"Well-" he started before pausing. He was definitely scared. It was pretty obvious considering he crossed his legs nervously and bent forward a little bit. He was very fidgety.
"You can take your time, Ven. There is no rush," Sora reassured Ven. Sora was the most patient of the Guardians of light, and was willing to listen to anybody, no matter who it was, or what it was about.
Ven took a deep breath.
"Well, I haven't been feeling so great about...me recently, and I'm not sure what to do. I-I'm sure you'd understand, considering you're also, y'know." Ven wasn't trying to avoid the word exactly, he was just afraid. An indescribable scared.
It took a moment for Sora to understand.
"Oh! Trans?" Sora said it so enthusiastically.
"Yeah…" Ven cowered.
"So, what about it?" Sora looked at Ven with his legs crossed and his right hand curled under his chin. He was, in fact, intrigued.
"Well, I've had trouble with my identity for a while. Well, mostly after all that Keyblade Graveyard and Organization 13 stuff. I've been trans for like 20 years, and I'm just now having trouble with it."
"What exactly about your identity have you had trouble with? Maybe I can offer some advice? Only if you want, of course."
Ven wanted to shut down, and stop but couldn't. He wanted to just curl up and disappear. He was excited, though. He was excited to let his issue out.
"Accepting myself. Lately, I've had trouble accepting myself for being who I am. Sure, I've had some trouble in the past, but I never really had time to dwell on it. You've had trouble, too, surely?" Ven finally grew the strength to turn his head to Sora, who was looking straight at him with full attention. Sora took a second too long to reply, and he got scared he had said something wrong, but the response said otherwise.
"Well, of course I've had trouble accepting myself, and so have some of our other friends. But, it's having those who support you, and can lend you a shoulder that really helps."
"So, I'm not alone?" Ven felt hopeful.
Sora chuckled lightheartedly. "Of course not! In fact, they've all come to me as well. I've actually had a similar conversation with Roxas recently. I'm not surprised, though. He has the same physical attributes you do, so it'd only be reasonable he'd be trans as well, and there's nothing wrong with that."
"Wow, I feel sorta bad for him. Because of me did he feel that way." Ven frowned.
"Well, there's nothing wrong with that. He would've been trans either way, don't forget." Sora was right. Whether Roxas looked like Sora, or Ven, he's be trans just like them either way. He'd have their scars, and everything else.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Ven was still lost, but he was thankful he wasn't alone.
"How about I let you in on a little secret?" That caught Ven's attention. "Actually, I had trouble accepting myself, too, just like you, Ven. I used to stay up late at night with Riku, sometimes just crying into him about myself being trans. He told me that it was okay to feel the way I did, though he did not really understand being trans himself, and he would always try his best to help me. I always felt embarrassed after, but what can I say? When I was in my early teenage years, and my late teenage years. Just having him there as I rambled on really helped me."
Ven really had to process that. Sure, Sora was trans as well, but he was just a little taken aback that Sora had troubles just like him. Now that he thought about it, he would cry to Eraqus about him being trans. Maybe not about accepting himself, but he went to Eraqus a lot about himself.
"So, were you and Roxas the only ones? Out of curiosity."
"Kairi had also come to me looking for guidance. I've had many late night talks with her, just like Roxas, and the more we talked, the less talks we had about accepting themselves. Of course, us and them aren't the only trans keyblade wielders, but everyone's experiences are different, and they have every right to feel how they do, whether it be positive or negative. I'm sure they've had their own battles, and they've handled it their own ways. Like you, Ven. You have every right to feel how you do, and I'm happy to be there for you, because you aren't alone."
At this point, Ven's mood had completely changed and he was looking at Sora with eyes that grew glassy. He turned his head away and a wet smile pulled on his face. Sora's face twisted as Ven cried.
"What happened? Was it something I said?" He panicked, and slid a bit closer to Ven, almost touching him.
"No, no! Well, yes!" Ven laughed at him as he wiped his river of a face. "It's you. Your words are so moving for some odd reason!" He choked slightly on his tears.
Sora grew relieved and just laughed with him, patting him on the back. Ven just leaned himself harshly into Sora, acting like he's heard the funniest thing ever and couldn't control himself.
"Gosh, you scared me! But seriously! I will be there for you when you need it, okay?" Sora had an entire Ven in his arms.
"Yeah, yeah!"
Ven was happy. His mood had completely changed, and through both the tears and laughter did he almost forget why he was there. He didn't accept himself quite yet, but this was only the first step.