Chapter Text
1. Andrew
I’m really hoping I don’t screw this up. The ham has been roasting in a hole under the fire pit since I left for work this morning, and Cara had been very kindly coming by every few hours to turn the embers. I reach for the carrots from the basket of fresh veggies I harvested earlier, peel and cut them into long wedges before tossing them into the pan of boiling water. It’s my first time attempting to do a roast here without a working oven, cooking it slowly in the garden under the fire. I remember Jamie describing his perfect dinner to me while we were at the cabin, and with him working himself to exhaustion so much lately on the water, I really wanted to cook him something special.
It’s been about a month since we arrived at Key West. Dave had been able to find a nice and small, one-storey, one-bedroom house for just us to call home, and Cara was placed right next door. It needed a bit of cleaning but was mostly in decent shape, and now it was a place we were happy to call ours. The power mostly stable, though it did get spotty in the evenings, fresh water plumbed into a tank in the garden and a great little dirt patch for me to put my new gardening skills to use, things really were going well here.
Details of our trip to Bethesda had changed slightly, but it was coming up soon. The group that we were originally planning to go with have been reassigned to the border as Fort Caroliners have been making their way closer and harassing some of our scouts. Now it was just going to be me, Jamie, Cara and Chloe, with a C, as she always insisted on introducing herself. The default is with a C, Chloe!
Jamie’s been spending a lot of time with her. She was a professional sailor in her past life, on track for the Olympics and was teaching him all the ropes. That was going to be his job on the boat trip to pick up Henri, putting those incredible arms to good use while I potter around being the housewife. Chloe’s role will be captain, directing Jamie on what ropes to pull and where, Cara is, of course, the best for navigation, and I’ll be keeping us fed, watered, tidy and entertained with my hysterical jokes.
I take the ham from the garden firepit and unwrap its foil. The smell is mesmerising, I’m really quite impressed with myself as I drizzle some of the fresh honey from Mickey’s hive across the grooves on top. Jamie’s plate gets the prettiest slices as I carve a decent serving for us both. Surrounded by boiled potatoes and veggies, with some thick onion gravy slathered on top, it’s ready just in time and as my gorgeous boy walks through the patio door.
“Honey, I’m home” he sings, presenting himself in a sweat-drenched vest and shiny forehead.
“Hey babe! Perfect timing, I’ve just…” I’m cut off.
“Gonna jump in the shower, Chloe really worked me hard today.”
“Okay hun” I dress the table nicely and sit at my plate with the most stupid grin on my face, like a puppy waiting to be called a good boy, in front of my magnificent meal.
Thirty minutes pass and I’m really starting to feel stupid for being so excited about this dinner. It’s gone cold now, and I’m still sitting… waiting.
“I tell ya, Clo really knows her stuff. She was gonna be in the Olympics yanno!” Jamie says walking into the dining room, top off and with a towel wrapped around his head.
“Yes babe, you said last week. Look, I made us dinner.” I say, trying to keep the frustration from showing through my smile.
“Smells good. I’ll have some later, Clo made us soup at her place.” He walks straight past me, brushing his hand across my shoulder as he does, and throws himself on the couch. The nicknames sticking, I guess, great! Love that. I grit my teeth and fork a few mouthfuls of cold ham into my mouth, before pushing it to the side. I’m not feeling hungry anymore.
“Soup? Any good?” I ask as I take my seat next to him. I can tell my face is showing I’m not in a good mood, he’ll pick up on that and won’t leave it alone, as usual. I’m normally great at hiding my emotions but he just knows me too well now.
“Yeah! It was really good! Chicken, leek and potato…” Oh, maybe he won’t pick up on it. He goes into a full description of how velvety smooth it was, how it was the perfect temperature not to leave a burn on his tongue and how perfect her freshly baked bread was. It wasn’t actually Chloe who made the meal, she couldn’t butter bread if her life depended on it, but she lived with her grandma who used to chef in the navy and was used to making something good on the rations we have.
“Oh, sounds nice,” I say stiffly. A moment of silence passes while I wait for him to ask about my day, but nothing. “Wanna put a film on?” He agrees and I get the Endgame DVD I found in a video store a few weeks ago out. We’d managed to get an old DVD player working but it was very difficult finding discs that still played. I kept this finding a secret because I knew it was one of his favourite films and wanted it to be a surprise.
“Ah cool, Endgame.” Not the reaction I was looking for, but I guess he has had a tiring day. I lean my head onto his chest, which has been becoming more toned since we started eating well, and fiddle with the barely apparent patch of seven hairs by his nipple. His heart beating into my ear and his relaxed breathing always calms me down, it’s so hard to be angry at him. I love him so much.
The scene comes up with Black Widow and Hawkeye at Vormir, trying to get the soul stone. I readjust myself so I can see Jamie’s reaction and lock my fingers with his. Blank. Nothing! “Jamie?” I enquire.
“Hm, yes babe?”
“You okay, doesn’t seem like you’re really paying attention?”
“Oh yeah, sorry. Was just in my own world, what happened?” He looks up at the screen, “Oh, yeah this scene.”
“What’s on your mind?” I ask.
“I was just thinking about Chloe, she won the junior sailor championships at 13! We’re so lucky to have her coming with us.”
“Yes Jamie, I know.” I sit up and give my attention back to the TV. I don’t even care if he’s not watching anymore, go and sit in fairyland with Chloe, see if I care.
Hang on, I’m not jealous of Chloe, am I? No, don’t be ridiculous. God, I hope not. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. But she’s just… So pretty! As pretty as a gay boy like me can appreciate. She’s around our age, and definitely kept that Olympic physique with toned arms and a tight chest. Always seems to be wearing a glowing suntan and goes about in a tight vest top showing off her belly button and strong shoulders. Little sporty shorts and clean, black, Nike trainers, you wouldn’t believe she lived in the apocalypse by looking at her. Mind you, she hasn’t really been through it. She already lived in Key West when the virus struck and managed to keep her house and grandma. She loved going out on adventures but has never been away from home for more than a few days at a time. Her family already had solar panels and rain collection set up, and her dad was a doomsday prepper, so everything was well set up for her when her parents died.
“Is it bedtime, you seem pretty tired?” Jamie asks as the credits roll up on the screen. Tired… TIRED. I’m not tired, I’m fucking seething! I haven’t paid attention to the whole second half of the film since that interaction. I’ve been sat here stewing and getting myself worked up. Today was meant to be perfect. All I wanted to do was cook a nice meal, show my boyfriend I loved him and cuddle up in his arms to fall asleep. It’s the anniversary of my mum’s death today and he knows that. Instead, he’s in his head skipping over rainbows with fucking Chloe! I can feel my bottom lip trembling and it’s ready for an outburst.
“I’m fine.”
“Okay, let’s go to bed.” He used to care about me so much. It’s not just that he’s started spending time with a girl, or that she’s the most perfect girl in the world for him, it’s that he’s completely forgotten about me and doesn’t seem to care that he has. It’s not a one-off either, he’s been like this all week.
We get to the bedroom and dress down ready for sleep. Laying down, he wraps his arm over my shoulder and pulls me in for a cuddle. For a moment, it’s blissful. I feel relaxed and calm, like I never want him to let me go. After twenty seconds, I remember that I’m mad at him, no cuddles for you tonight. I roll myself away and let out a huff.
It must have been a lot sassier than I was going for because he followed it up. “Okay, what’s wrong?” He says with a tone that shows what he’s thinking; here we go again, sassy gay boy is in a mood.
“Nothing.”
“Andrew,” he turns and puts his hand on my shoulder. Snuggling up with his head close to mine. Softly, “please… Somethings upset you and I really care.” A weight feels like it’s been lifted. Those are the words I needed to hear. I hold his hand and drag it across my chest, holding it close. He moves in and hugs me tight. I let his arm under my head and embrace the spoon. “Was it work?”
I sigh.
“Okay, not work. I’m here for you no matter what and I love you.”
“It’s just…” I open my heart and tell him everything. From the cold dinner that I spent hours making after an exhausting day working at the farm, to the perfect little life I was picturing him having with Chloe “with a C” I mimic, in her annoying, girly voice.
“Now that’s just childish,” he laughs and manages to get a small chuckle out of me. “I’m really sorry about dinner. It looked and smelled amazing. I didn’t realise how much effort you put into it and that was really thoughtful of you, but I’m really looking forward to having it for lunch tomorrow. I’m sorry I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately and I’m sorry if I’m talking about Chloe too much. There’s honestly nothing for you to worry about. We’re just friends.”
Just friends, I really wish I could believe him.