Work Text:
Roman stopped short as he walked into the living room. Janus was sitting on the couch…in a onesie? He took a quick look around the room to confirm his suspicions. Scooby Doo was playing on the tv, the lights were dim, and several blocks were scattered around the floor. Roman had a kiddo on his hands.
“Hi, JJ.” He said softly, knocking gently on the walls so Janus would hear him and not be startled. Janus jumped off the couch anyway and whirled around.
“Daddy!” He yelled, flipping the hood of his onesie up over his head. “Yer not s’posed see yet!” He tried to run towards Roman but nearly tripped over one of the blocks on the ground. After he righted himself from his stumble, he walked on slow, careful feet, just like they had practiced. Roman’s smile grew as he heard Janus’s soft whisper of “slow n steady, slow n steady.” His little snake was such a good listener.
“What am I not supposed to see, buddy?” Roman asked. He drew Janus in for a hug. Janus indulged him for a few seconds before wiggling out of his hold.
“‘M S’ooby Doo!” Janus wiggled his hands and rocked on his feet a bit. “‘M S’ooby Doo ‘n ‘m gonna figh’ mons’ers like you, daddy!”
Roman chuckled. “Scooby Doo? I thought you were my baby Jana Banana.”
Janus stuck his tongue out at Roman. “Nuh uh! Not Jana banana. ‘M S’ooby Doo.” He stomped his foot on the ground, barely missing Roman’s foot.
“Scooby Doo, huh? And why do I have the pleasure of meeting Scooby Doo? Are you getting ready for Halloween?” Halloween wasn’t for a few days but Roman knew Janus didn’t have the best grasp of time when he was little. It was better to just play along.
“Halloween’s in this many days, duh.” Janus said, holding up five fingers.
Roman frowned at Janus’s attitude but decided it was not a battle he wanted to fight today. “Good job counting. If you’re not Scooby Doo for Halloween, why are you dressed up as Scooby Doo?” He could tell there was a reason but he couldn’t find the trail of kid logic that Janus used to insist that he was Scooby Doo.
Wait, Logic.
Logan was usually better (loathe as Roman was to admit that Logan was better at anything) at figuring out Janus’s reasoning. Roman waved a hand to summon Logan.
Logan stumbled, having been walking before rising up. “Roman?” He looked around the room. “Are you in need of assis-”
“Mama!” Janus yelled and barreled into Logan, sending both of them to the ground.
“Hello, darling.” Logan said, fixing his glasses. If the use of Mama didn’t alert him to Janus’s headspace, the Scooby Doo onesie definitely did. The only time Janus wore it outside of movie nights was when he was little, although he never insisted he was Scooby Doo like now.
“He’s Scooby Doo.” Roman explained, hoping Logan would figure this out.
“Mhm! ‘M S’ooby Doo.” Janus said, sitting up on Logan and bouncing.
“Oof, uh- darling- ah, darling, can you roll off of me?” Logan said between pained breaths. He may be strong but he couldn’t take the full weight of Janus bouncing on his chest without worrying one of his ribs might break. Janus stood up and let Logan stand next to him.
“Why are you Scooby Doo? Halloween is in five days, Janus.” Logan brushed off his pants and adjusted his glasses.
Roman and Janus spoke at the same time.
“That’s what I asked!”
“I know that, Mama!”
All three of them looked at each other. “Well,” Logan broke the silence first. “There’s a few things we have to check to see if you’re really Scooby Doo.” He grinned conspiratorially at Janus.
Janus nodded. “Anyfin! ‘Cuz ‘m the real S’ooby Doo.”
Logan summoned a clipboard with a paper on it and a pen. Roman tried to peek over his shoulder to see what was on it. Logan moved the clipboard away.
“First: Scooby Doo is a dog which means he can make dog noises. Can you make dog noises?” Logan raised an eyebrow.
Janus giggled and covered his mouth. He nodded his head quickly and then dropped his hands. “Wuf wuf! And ummmm… bark.”
Roman clapped. He was slowly catching on to what Logan was doing, though he was still a bit confused. Oh well, it was like improv right? “That sounds like a dog!”
Janus giggled again, rocking in place.
‘Second: Scooby Doo has ears and a tail. Do you have ears and a tail, baby?”
Janus nodded so hard the hood of his onesie was flapping. He grabbed the ears on top of the hood in his fists and shook his butt so the tail wagged. “Mhm, Mama, I do!”
Logan marked off something on his clipboard. “Very good. Third: Scooby Doo likes to solve mysteries.”
Janus cut him off before he could ask his question. “Love mysties! Um, n ‘m so good at hide ‘n seek!” He didn’t know that was because they all purposefully hid in easy spots for him to find but that was part of the fun of playing with a little.
Logan nodded. “You are excellent at Hide and Seek. I think that counts, don’t you, Roman?” Roman nodded his affirmation.
“Very well then. Just one last question: Scooby Doo likes sandwiches. Do you like sandwiches?”
Roman caught Logan’s plot to get Janus some lunch. Neither of them were sure when Janus had last eaten since none of the ‘dark sides’ were great at having regular meals.
Janus’s tummy grumbled and he giggled. “Mhm. I loooovvee samwiches. ‘Specially daddy’s.” Janus bat his eyelashes at Roman, who playfully groaned. That little trickster.
“I’ll go make a sandwich for our little Scooby Doo, does that sound good?” Roman said, tickling Janus’s tummy. Janus burst into the loudest giggles yet and he ran behind Logan to hide.
“Mama, save me!”
Luckily, Logan didn’t have to do much because Roman was already headed to the kitchen to make Janus a sandwich.
Janus stood on his tiptoes to peek over Logan’s shoulder at the clipboard. “‘M S’ooby Doo?” He asked, trying to read the results of Logan’s quiz.
Logan dropped the clipboard out of their realm and smiled over his shoulder at Janus. “The evidence proves it. You must be Scooby Doo. Tell me, do you like the Mystery Machine?”
Janus’ face lit up with a mischievous grin. “Uh huh! Love it, love it, love it!”
“Hey, Scooby Doo, your sandwich is ready.” Roman called from the kitchen. Janus did ‘slow careful’ feet to the kitchen and sat at the table. While he ate his sandwich, Logan continued to pretend to interview him as Scooby Doo. He giggled through questions about the mystery gang and the villains he’d faced. Some of the mystery gang started to sound suspiciously close to descriptions of the sides but neither Logan nor Roman mentioned it. His answers started getting sillier and quieter towards the end of lunch.
After lunch, Janus yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Getting tired, little Scooby?” Roman asked gently, pulling Janus onto his back for a piggy back ride. He wasn’t much taller than Janus so he couldn’t carry his little snake very well but he could piggy back ride for short distances. Roman walked them over to the couch and restarted the couple of episodes of Scooby Doo that had played in the background while they were talking.
“Nuh uh. S’ooby Doo never gets s’eepy.” Janus laid his head down on Roman’s shoulder anway. Logan, who’d been washing dishes if the water in the sink sounds were anything to go by, came around the couch to drape Janus’s yellow plush blanket around them.
“You need your rest so you can figure out more mysteries.” Logan said, sitting next to Roman on the couch and holding Janus’s hand. He stroked Janus’s scales before brushing Janus’s hair out of his eyes.
Janus’s eyes started slipping shut but he fought against the tiredness. “Noooo.” He whined. “If I go ‘sleep, ‘snot fun.”
Logan and Roman had matching confused expressions. “What’s not fun, darling?” Logan said.
“Trick’n you that ‘m S’ooby Doo.” Janus’s words were barely whispered but both Logan and Roman heard them. After confirming Janus was asleep, they both looked at each other and groaned.
“He got us.” Roman said. He knew Janus had to have a reason to want to be Scooby Doo so intensely.
“Well, you fell for it first.” Logan retorted, smoothing out his sleeping baby’s face from where it was smushed into Roman’s neck.
“Wha- you had a whole clipboard!” Logan shushed Roman as Janus snorted a bit before returning to sleep.
“That was to play along, dear. Keep up.” Logan smirked. Roman huffed.
It was a moot point because both of them knew they’d do anything for their baby.
---
“Hey, Scooby Doo. Solve any mysteries lately?” Virgil snickered and ducked to avoid the pillow that was sent sailing at his head.
“Get out of my room!” Janus shrieked. “That was a trick and you know it!”
“Uh huh, these pictures say otherwise.” Virgil shook his phone teasingly, the screen clearly showing a sleeping Janus in his Scooby Doo onesie with the text ‘when the mysteries get too hard’ written across it.
“I’m going to kill you! I hate you! I despise you even!” Janus said, running after Virgil who bolted from the door.
Roman and Logan chuckled as they watched the two run around the living room. “Those really are our boys.”
