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He's not sure what set him off.
There wasn't anything different about tonight really, about the day in general. He'd just stayed in all day, lazily scrolling on his phone most of the time. Just one of those days.
He hadn't watched any horror films or scary videos online. Hadn't read anything all that disturbing. He hadn't even had any caffeine since the morning.
And yet here he was lying in bed in the dark trying not to panic. His head was tucked under the futon cover and he was half curled up, trying his best not to wake anybody. It was unbearably hot and his body was screaming for him to go up for cool air. Which he would usually do with no hesitation, if it weren't for the small fact that his brain was screaming at him to keep his head covered or he might die.
Which he was entirely aware was stupid, but he also just. Didn't want to risk it. And that was irrational because he and his brothers were the only ones in the room. For sure.
The house creaked and Todomatsu froze.
There's no one else in the house. There's no one else in the house. It's just you, your brothers, and your parents. There's nothing to be scared of.
He kept a mental loop of that and tried to breathe again as his ears strained, just waiting for unfamiliar footsteps to start. Which they wouldn't. Of course.
God, he wished he could just sleep.
You'll die if you close your eyes, it'll kill you as soon as you do.
He huffed, hot breath not helping in the least. Why the hell would the intruder only kill him and not his brothers when they had their heads poking out and were just fine! It was so mind numbingly stupid, and yet. And yet.
God, he just wanted to sleep already. He was so, so tired, his eyelids were drooping. He can let them close, he'll be fine. He tried to push those thoughts to the forefront of his mind.
His eyes drooped closed. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest. There was a monster, an intruder, leaning over him, and it knew. It was going to kill him, he was going to die die die die die! He held his breath, admonishing himself.
No there wasn't, fucking stop!
His eyes burst open and he popped his head out from under the futon cover, quietly gasping, cool air hitting his face. He stared off to his left, terrified to look in any other direction.
This was ridiculous.
But he was scared. His heart was pounding and if he weren't tightly gripping himself his hands might have been shaking. Fuck. This was stupid. So so stupid. His eyes were glued, just staring at the wall just past Karamatsu and Ichimatsu. God, he couldn't even close his eyes without having a heart attack. What was wrong with him.
He wanted to wake someone up. But who? Usually his go to would be Choromatsu...but he couldn’t get out of bed right now. Not when his brain was screaming at him. He could hardly convince himself to move, even after finally getting his head out from under the cover. So the options were Ichimatsu or Osomatsu. God. Somebody kill him already.
Osomatsu was annoying and he'd hold it over his head for who knows how long and Ichimatsu was always so grumpy when someone woke him up. He could also be a fucking sadist if he felt like it.
Gritting his teeth he tried to relax and empty his thoughts. He could do this. He could fall asleep without having a panic attack. It was simple, it was fine.
The house creaked and he nearly went into cardiac arrest.
Begrudgingly he shuffled closer to Osomatsu, praying he wouldn't be a handsy bastard in his sleep. His breath was shallow, nervous that he might wake Osomatsu up by breathing heavily on him as he faced him.
He just stared at him for a while, studying his face. Osomatsu was drooling, a damp stain on his pillow, and was entirely relaxed. Lucky bastard. He didn’t have to deal with irrational fears of the dark and impossible intruders.
God , he thought to himself as his eyes burned, I just want to go to sleep already .
He lightly sniffed, but didn't dare to rub at his face. He fought the urge to close his eyes as Osomatsu's breath tickled his face.
Osomatsu groaned and Totty locked up. He stared as Oso's eyes cracked open and blurrily looked focused on him.
"Y'need to piss?"
Blinking, he slightly shook his head. His face felt hot and there was a funny feeling in his chest, all tangled up. He would've yelled at him for that stupid fucking question if it weren't for the fact that he was too terrified to make a sound.
He must've looked incredibly miserable, because suddenly Osomatsu lifted his arm up and smacked him in the face.
This turned out not to be his original intention (...or maybe it was, shitty older brother) as he dragged his hand across Totty's face and patted the side of his head.
"N'sn guu yu."
He had no idea what the hell he was trying to say, but Totty could easily pretend that it was something comforting and nice. Osomatsu could be decent sometimes. Occasionally.
Burying his face into Oso's shoulder he tried to focus on the weight of his arm on him and his heartbeat, trying to match his breathing with it.
In the embrace of his useless older brother, Todomatsu felt safe.