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Xiao

Xiao had no idea how he got himself roped in with Lumine’s travel plans, but somehow, he finds himself on the way to Mondstadt, accompanied by a certain floating child.  He couldn’t deny the beautiful change of scenery, although the city of freedom was the near complete opposite of Liyue.  With rolling valleys and bright green shrubbery everywhere you looked, it certainly embodied the exact picture of freedom.  

“Xiao?”  Lumine nervously tapped his shoulder, almost as if she was hesitant to disrupt him.  

“What is it?”  

She paused.  “You don’t have to stay here with us if you don’t wish to.”

Shaking his head, Xiao sighed.  “No, I promised Zhongli that I would meet some new people in Mondstadt, and I will keep by my word.”  The last thing he wished was to disrespect the archon’s request, no matter how annoying the task may seem.  

Ever since the entire Osial incident, the Qixing had made sure to deploy more Millelleth to clear out excess hilichurl camps, leaving less to do for him.  With all the extra time Xiao had on his hands, he wasn’t quite sure what to do, until Morax suggested he’d go with the traveler to broaden his perspective of humans.. 

“Well then, I appreciate it, since you’re staying with us.”  He nods, as they both walk the rest of the way in complete silence.  

~~

Mondstadt was, to say the least, busy.  Shopkeepers set up their businesses at the very front of the gates, garnering much attention.  Xiao could distinctly hear a bard playing a romantic tune somewhere on a balcony, along with the loud chatter of people surrounding him.  

As an adepti, he preferred to isolate himself somewhere quiet, and avoided human contact like it was the plague.  Social interaction was definitely a no-go either, and yet, people stared at him every time they passed due to his strange attire.  It made him feel like a specimen in a zoo, and he instinctively started looking for a way out of the crowd.  Lumine definitely noticed his uneasiness, and pulled him toward a set of big double-doors.  

“This is the Knights of Favonius headquarters; it should be quieter..”  

Lumine’s shoes clacked across the hard tile flooring, ringing through the empty lobby as she headed towards a wooden door.  Knocking on the door, they waited for an answer.  

He awkwardly stood in a corner, unsure if he should stay near Lumine, or let her do her business.  He does remember Venti saying that if he ever visited Mondstat, he should have a chat with him.  Perhaps he would pay him a visit later, after getting things sorted with Lumine.  

“Xiao, don’t just stand there. I think this would be a good opportunity for you to meet some new people.”  The traveler practically dragged him over to the now open door, and stepped in.  

The room looked like something out of a movie, with piles upon piles of books stacked on top of each other.  A window situated on the far left of the workspace, filtering in hazy sunlight.  Xiao was so busy gaping at the perfection he nearly missed the person hunched over in the middle of the mess.  

Looking up at them, he gives Lumine and Xiao a brief nod before continuing with his work.  The mysterious person’s hair was wildly unkempt, almost as if he hadn’t bothered to brush his hair at all.  

“Albedo, I’m here to talk to you about this strange sweet flower I saw…”  

As the two continue with their hushed conversation, Xiao does what he’d been doing for millenia: observe.  The alchemist, Albedo, was a very knowledgeable person, and he would even go as far to say that he could hold a conversation with Morax without getting confused.  

“...Xiao, meet Albedo.  He’s the Chief Alchemist of Mondstat.”

 Albedo stared at him, as if he was assessing him.  Seemingly satisfied with what he saw, he offered up his hand.  “Nice to meet you, Xiao.”  

Hesitantly taking his hand, he shook it in return.  “Nice to meet you too.”  Finally meeting Albedo’s eyes, the first thing he noticed was their color.  It was a mesmerizing blue; Xiao felt as if he stared into it for too long, he might get lost in them.  Shaking his head, he turns to Lumine. 

“Are you finished with your business here?”  

“Yeah, I think I’m basically-”  

Suddenly, a child clothed in bright red bursts into the room.  “Brother Albedo!  Ms. Jean took away my bombs again, can I please make some?”  

Xiao frowned.  A child… with bombs?  That seemed highly suspicious, how could they ever let a kid be in possession of such a dangerous item?  It seems as if Mondstat certainly was the city of freedom, with all their lax rules.  

“It’s the honorary knight!  Hi!”  the girl waved at Lumine, smiling widely.  “And… who is this person?”  Pointing at Xiao, she squinted at him.  “He kinda looks like Diluc… grumpy and never smiles.”  

He couldn’t believe that he was getting insulted by a child , let alone finding it insulting.  “I have no need to smile.”  

Letting out a tiny humph, she pointed at a stuffed animal hanging from her backpack.  “I will tell dodoco to give you a lesson, smiling is good!”  

“Klee, let’s not bother our visitor, okay?”  the alchemist, Albedo, crouched down to the girl’s eye level.  “Plus, you know Jean took away the bombs for a good reason.”  

The blond child, apparently named Klee, huffs.  “I know… but fish blasting is so fun!”  

Lightly taking her hand, Albedo led her out of the office, leaving Xiao and Lumine to awkwardly stare at each other.  

“How do you find the people here so far?”  

He paused.  What was he supposed to answer? Carefree?  They certainly seemed as if their life had no worries, as opposed to himself.  “...They all seem very free.”  

Lumine nods.  “Mondstat is certainly less strict on rules here, giving their citizens more of a choice on what they wish to do.”  

Xiao was extremely envious of all of them, living life without worry.  He wondered what it would be like if he lived as such.  

“Why don’t you explore Mondstat by yourself?  It’s certainly changed all these years.”  The traveler wasn’t necessarily wrong; the last time he arrived at the city of freedom was during the tyrant’s rule, with Barbatos working behind the scenes to stir up a rebellion.  This has certainly changed though, after all these years.  No longer was it a closed off, oppressive place; it now seemed welcoming and friendly. 

Nodding, Xiao sighed.  “I’ll probably just settle for observing the scenery, the city has too many people anyways.”  

Lumine smiles.  “Alright!  Well, enjoy yourself.  I’m going to go buy some dinner for Paimon, she must be starving by now.”  Stepping out of the office, she soon disappeared in the throng of people.  

I’ve definitely overstayed my welcome in this building, too.  Gracefully jumping out of the window, he slowly made his way up to one of Mondstat’s tall watchtowers.  

~~

Albedo

Albedo was sure the visitor Lumine brought with her was corrupted.  His entire body had thrummed with negative karma, coiling around him like a possessive snake.  How he was able to stand it, was another question.  

That was, until the traveler introduced him as Xiao.  One of the last adepti remaining.   Thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of years old.  One glance at him, and he could read him easily.  The pain in his eyes spoke to him like no other.  Albedo knew this stance, where he would pretend he was okay for the sake of others.  It was painful, sure, but making others worry was even worse.

His body posture radiated uncomfortably in his office, so he was relieved when Klee rushed into the room.  Using her as an excuse, he quickly exited, leaving Xiao and Lumine alone.  He was never good with people, anyways.  It would have been even more awkward with him in the office.

After leaving Klee under the care of Jean, he decided to go to one of his favorite places to unwind: the watchtowers.  He couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever get a chance to see Xiao again; meeting someone like him was a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Perhaps asking him how he was able to bear so much karma, or how he came to receive so much.  Albedo regretted not asking the adepti anything when he got the chance.  It was too late, anyway.  No use dwelling on it now.

Not many people stayed up here for long, as the chilling winds often deterred them from doing so.  It was nothing short of beautiful, though.  The sunset cast an ethereal glow over the entirety of Mondstadt, a warm, orange color bathing the city.  

Taking out his sketchpad, Albedo started sketching.  Everything else melts around him, as the world only consists of himself and a pencil.  No sketch on paper could ever compare to the real sunset, though.  Sometimes, he wished he could bring someone to appreciate the sunset with him.  Perhaps Sucrose, or Klee.  

He was content with his life, though.  The love and respect everybody gave him was enough, and he was satisfied.  The soft pad of footsteps behind him jolts him from his thoughts.  

Who was here at this hour? 

~~

Xiao

“Xiao?”  

The scritch of pencil on paper alerts him of another person along with him, and he looks for the source of the voice, coming face-to-face with Albedo.  Apparently, the alchemist had an ability to stay quite hidden, even in plain sight.  I wish I could do that.

“Oh… it’s you.  What are you doing here?”  

Albedo pointed at the setting sun.  “This is actually the best place to view a sunset, I was simply just sketching it.”  

Glancing over his shoulder, Xiao gasped.  The drawing on paper was beautiful, as if it was truly real.  A slice of peace preserved into a picture.  He had seen plenty of different art pieces throughout the years, but who knew that a simple black-and-white drawing with pencil would stand out to him so much?  

“It’s… really good.”  He wasn’t quite sure how to give praise, especially since he almost never did so..  

Smiling, Albedo carefully hands it to him.  “Do you want to keep it?  It’s just a simple sketch, after all.”  

Xiao carefully held  the paper as if it was the most fragile thing in the world, ready to burst into pieces if he didn’t handle it carefully enough.  “I… are you sure?”  

“Yes.  I can always draw another, and since you seem to enjoy my drawings so much, I think you should take it.”  The alchemist carefully signs his name on the bottom left of the drawing, and stands up.  “It’s quite late anyways, I should most likely get going.  Thank you, Adeptus Xiao.”  Turning around, he seems to vanish into thin air, before Xiao could ask how he knew his title.  

Did he know who I was…. And wasn’t afraid?

He was certainly an interesting mortal, not even fearing a corrupted being such as him. 

~~

Xiao decided to stick the picture Albedo gave him in his room.  Well, it was more like a room that Verr Goldet allowed him to use.  Besides the newly placed photo, there wasn’t much else that could determine a person was living here.  SImply put, his room was extremely austere, nothing more than a place to sleep. 

Laying on his bed, he sighed.  Having an attachment to a person was dangerous, especially because he knew so many people that would use it against him.  Yet Xiao couldn’t help thinking about why Albedo wasn’t afraid of him.  Even the traveler was hesitant when they first met.  Barely anybody treated him as a normal person; they were either too afraid, or respected him a bit too much.  To see somebody greet him as a normal person was… refreshing.  

No, he was overthinking.  It was most likely just how surprised he was, nothing more.  Xiao quietly pads to the balcony, and groans.  Perhaps he could just see Albedo just once again, then that could help stop all the thoughts about him.

~~

Albedo

Xiao.  

Albedo couldn’t seem to get the strange Adepti off of his mind.  It was as if his brain was stuck in a loop, constantly coming back to the strange individual.  The most frustrating thing was that he wasn’t even quite sure why he was so hung up on this one person. 

He soon found himself in the library, as he read books about the adepti.  It turned out that they were protectors of Liyue, enlisted by Morax to protect the citizens of the city.  Only one of them was still alive, and that was Xiao.  All of the others had either disappeared due to unknown reasons, or died gruesome deaths.  

The last adepti continues to protect Liyue ferociously, granting peace and safety to its citizens.  

Albedo gained a newfound respect for Xiao, as he couldn’t even fathom having to protect an entire city.  Closing his eyes, he slowly sunk into the library’s plush chairs.  Remembering the genuine surprise Xiao had expressed when receiving his quick sketch, he picks up a spare piece of parchment.  A portrait quickly came to life under his hands, one that Albedo was all too familiar with.  

Drawing from memory was never easy, yet sketching Xiao was fairly simple.  It seemed as if he had remembered every small detail of the adepti, although they only just met.  From the small jewelry adorning his neck to the diamond imprinted on his forehead, they were all drawn onto paper in meticulous detail.  

Time flew by, and soon, Lisa was ushering him out of the library.  Albedo decided to keep the picture of Xiao on top of a cabinet in his office.  Perhaps, one day, he would be courageous enough to give it to the adepti.

~~

Xiao

A couple of days passed, and Xiao debated whether or not to visit the alchemist.  He eventually decided to visit Mondstat again, this time with a sole purpose in mind:  I must find Albedo.  Swiftly moving through the people in the front entrance, Xiao soon stood in front of the Knights of Favonius headquarters.  The soldiers guarding the entrance stophim.  

“State your business.”  

Xiao paused.  What was he supposed to tell them?  “Um…. I’m here for Chief Alchemist Albedo?”  

The knight shook his head.  “He’s not in his office today, you can go ask Sucrose his whereabouts, she’s his pupil.”  He points at a green-haired girl standing near a crafting table, seemingly studying some vials of liquid.  

Nodding, Xiao briefly thanked them and moved to find the girl, Sucrose.  He noticed that she too had an anemo vision.  Blessed by Barbatos as well.  

“Hello?”

The girl jumps in surprise, nearly dropping the vials she was holding.  “O-oh.  Hello.”  Fixing her glasses, she played with the hem of her dress nervously.  

“The knights said you knew where Albedo is, is that true?”  He almost felt bad for  questioning her , as she was obviously scared of him. 

“Oh… I’m not quite sure either….”  Pausing, Sucrose thought for a moment.  “He did say he was going to Starfell Cliff earlier this morning, perhaps you could check there?”  

“Thank you, I appreciate it.”  He quickly left, wanting to draw the least amount of attention to himself possible.  People were already starting to stare at him strangely, anyways.

~~

As Xiao slowly made his way to Starfell Cliff, he sighed.  It was certainly beautiful today, with picture-perfect blue skies and a soft breeze in his hair.  Almost perfect, if not for the soft corrupted whispers in the depths of his mind.  Sometimes he wished he could silence it all, but he had been trying for many, many years.   

Nearing the top of the cliff, he saw Albedo at the edge, seemingly observing a flower.  Xiao carefully stepped in front of him, casting a shadow over the alchemist.  

Looking up, Albedo smiled.  “Oh, I was wondering when you would come.”  

“You…. knew I was going to come?”  

He nodded , and slowly stood up.  “I know why you’re here.  You wish to ask me why I am not afraid of you, correct?”  

Xiao’s eyes widened.  This alchemist… “How- how did you know that?”  

“It’s quite obvious, is it not?”  

“...”  So Albedo really wasn’t afraid of him, and his eyes told him all he needed to know.  They were brimming with determination, as if challenging him.  

“Xiao… you have to understand that you are not a monster.  Neither are you something to be feared.”  

Xiao let out a tiny gasp.  Those words were what he had been wishing for someone to say to him for so, so long.  For somebody to tell him he wasn’t a monster.  Thank you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  

Wordlessly, Albedo hands him another drawing.  A cecelia.  It was beautiful, if not better than the picture he gave Xiao yesterday.  The soft pencil lines perfectly depicted the soft petals of the flower, smooth and flowing.  Though it was a drawing, he couldn’t help but feel as if the alchemist made this specifically for him.  

“...Thank you.”  Who knew that someone he just met yesterday could do so much to him?  It was as if Albedo knew everything Xiao wanted to hear, everything he needed but never received.  He wasn’t quite sure to be thankful, or to feel terrified.  Nobody had ever gotten so close to him without being harmed.  

Smiling softly, Albedo reached down and plucked a cecelia from the ground.  Tucking it behind his ear, he sighs.  “Cecelias are my favorite flowers.  They seem so free, always growing on tall mountain sides.” 

Xiao nods.  “Cecelias remind me of Qingxin… They also only grow from high mountaintops.  Perhaps one day I can bring you to see some.”  

“I would love that.”  the alchemist pauses.  “If you don’t mind, perhaps we can meet up again at some other time?” 

His heart almost skipped a beat.  He really shouldn’t have any more contact with Albedo, all he ever did was bring others pain.  He wished he could stop.  But he couldn’t.  His heart needed Albedo, for all of the reassurance he never got from others.  So, before he could stop himself, his mouth answered for him.  “Yes, that would be great.”

~~

Xiao’s bedroom was slowly getting filled with memorabilia.  If it wasn’t a picture drawn by Albedo, then it would be some other trinkets from Mondstat’s citizens.

A book Lisa helped him pick out, and even let him keep.  

Klee’s messy drawings depicting Albedo and him together.

Barbara’s autograph on a piece of paper, which she insisted that Xiao take.

He never quite realized how much he was yearning for human interaction, until Albedo showed him everything.  It was… exhilarating.  Such as a child seeing the world for the first time, discovering all of the little things that make living so enjoyable .  

Months passed by in a flash, and soon, Xiao knew his life wouldn’t be the same without the strange alchemist.  How could one person possibly make so much of a difference in his life in such little time?  

Xiao wished that this would be eternity.  Maybe if he was blessed with a cryo vision, he could freeze this time forever.  So he could live through it, again and again.  Sheltering this memory from the harsh reality that was his life.  It was a small hope, but one nonetheless.

Yet, the small voice in his head couldn’t seem to give him rest.  His days seemed all too peaceful, it almost seemed as if something was… off.  

He had never had such blissful days.  

Perhaps it was just his paranoia, but Xiao couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong.  Never had his happiness not come with a price, no matter how small.  The reason he kept away from others was his karma, and he knew something worse than he could imagine was coming.  He just hoped it wasn’t going to be inflicted onto Albedo.

~~

Albedo

Albedo would have never thought he would befriend Xiao.  He wouldn’t even believe it when somebody said that he would be extremely close with the adepti, to the point where they visit each other every day.  Yet, Xiao arrived every day, on time, at his office.  

He would bring him to visit the many attractions that Mondstadt held: the beautiful archon statue situated in the middle of the city, the multitude of books that the library held, and the church.  

The look of fascination Xiao bore whenever he saw something interesting, was, in itself, already enough.  Very, very slowly, Xiao had opened up to him, like how  a flower would blossom.  Albedo had started to almost look forward to their quick nightly meetings, even purposely drawing some sketches beforehand to give to the adepti when they met.  

His eagerness almost scared himself, as he had never really shown too much of himself to others.  What was even more terrifying was the fact that in his heart now resided a certain warmth for Xiao, and everytime the adepti came to visit, it would spark alight.  This feeling was… foreign.  For once, Albedo really did not know what to do.

~~

Xiao

The next day Xiao woke up, he instantly knew something was wrong.  His throat felt… blocked.  As if something was there.  Was he coming down with a cold?  Adepti barely got sick, so it was highly unlikely.  

His mind immediately snapped to Albedo.  Is this my karma?  Is Albedo going to get hurt?

Xiao’s train of thought was interrupted by a bout of coughing, his dry throat making it painful and jarring.  He spat out a bloody petal.  Droplets of red dot the beautiful white flower petal as he holds it in his hands.   

His mind whirls.  From the millennia of years he had traversed the world, he had never seen such a sickness.  What exactly was wrong with him? 

No, it doesn’t matter.  As long as the people besides me never get hurt, then I’m glad.

The quiet stillness of his room quickly became suffocating, and Xiao made up his mind to ask Zhongli about this affliction.  Perhaps it could be easily solved with some of his knowledge.  

He wouldn’t visit Albedo today; there was no way he would burden the alchemist with more troubles than he already had.  

~~

Xiao knows exactly where Morax dined.  The archon was a very methodical person, following a strict agenda every day.  

Arriving at the Liuli Pavilion, he steps inside, eyes searching for a familiar man dressed in brown.  He found him sitting in a corner, slowly sipping his morning tea.  Next to him was…. an all-too-recognizable redhead.  

“Oh!  Xiao, you’re here.  Me and Zhongli were just talking about you.”  Tartaglia gestured at the empty seat.  “Come take a seat with us.”  

He frowned.  “I… have urgent business to attend to.  I just need to talk to Morax for a brief moment.”  

“Xiao, just call me Zhongli.  People may start to recognize me if you keep on calling me that.”  

Sitting down on the chair, he nods.  “I’m just-”  a sudden cough racked his body, and he instinctively covered his mouth.  Oh no, not in front of everybody.  Xiao slowly moved his hand, and laying there were yet more white petals sitting in his palm.  

Zhongli’s eyes go wide.  “Xiao… “  

Xiao shook his head.  “Don’t… don’t say anything.  I was going to ask you if this disease was curable.”  

Tartaglia frowned.  “This… I’ve never seen someone cough up petals before.  Are you sure this isn’t just a sick joke played by someone?”  

I wish this was a joke.

“I’m sorry, I do not believe I know what this mysterious illness is either…”  Zhongli sighed .  “Just don’t overwork yourself, I’m not quite sure of the toll this sickness puts on your body.”

Xiao wasn’t afraid of the side effects from coughing up flower petals, he was only worried about the people he cared about.  “...do you think this would harm people?”  

The archon shook his head.  “No, I do not believe this illness is spreadable…”  

Relief coursed through his body.  At least nobody would get hurt; that was all that mattered.  

~~

Albedo

Xiao had not come to visit in three days.  

It was strange, how Albedo was so hung up on something so small.  The adepti may have had urgent business to attend to, after all, he was responsible for the safety of Liyue.  A tiny part of him couldn’t help but worry, though.

Eventually, it was the small nagging fear that led him to ask Lumine to check on Xiao.  He had regretted it the second he said anything to her, as it was such a petty thing to do.  It was also extremely unlike him to do something so rash, especially to care for a person that throws themselves in front of danger nearly every day.  

Lumine seemed to understand, though.  WIth an unreadable expression in her eyes, she nodded.  “I’ll make sure Xiao is okay.  Especially because I know both you and him treasure the relationship you have with each other.”  

Albedo slowly nods.  Did the traveler know of their friendship?  He was not quite sure what she meant when she said that they both treasured the relationship they had with each other, yet the thought sticks to his mind the entire day.  

Was he so antisocial that he didn’t even know the terms they used to define it?

~~

Xiao

Xiao was very, very wrong.  He hadn’t expected the disease to progress so fast, and within a few days, the coughing had started becoming more and more constant.  His throat burned, with the constant chafing of petals.  Simply saying anything would be painful, and it proved to be nearly impossible to fight monsters without spitting out petals.  

He was on the top floor of the Wangshu Inn when Lumine found him.  She looked worried, as she held out a plate of almond tofu.  

“Adeptus Xiao?”  

Turning around, Xiao eyed the traveler warily.  It was rare to have her seek him out specifically, so the situation must have been urgent.  

“Albedo has been getting quite worried about you… So he asked me to make sure you were alright.”  She slowly placed the tofu on the balcony, and stepped back.  

“Tha-”  he entered yet another one of his coughing fits, this one even more painful than any other he had gotten.  A flurry of bloody petals came out from his mouth, and Xiao almost felt  lightheaded.  

Lumine gasped.  Rushing over, she stared at his hand.  “Was this why you didn’t visit Albedo?”  

Xiao slowly nodded.  

“I.. think you should actually visit him.  Albedo may be able to help you, he’s skilled in many forms of alchemy.”  

Seeing his hesitance, the traveler sighed.  

“Trust me, you won’t bother him.  Just consider visiting, Albedo will be glad to see that you’re alive.”  

With that statement, Lumine turned and walked out.  “I hope you get better.”  

The strange quiet that enveloped him after she left was a blessing.  Xiao slowly made his way to the roof of Wangshu inn, dry autumn leaves crackling under his feet.  

He was going to visit Albedo.  If not for him, then at least to ease the alchemist’s worries.

~~

It took Xiao a lot longer than he thought to travel to Mondstadt.  He should have expected it, especially since the petals came closer and more often.  His throat hurt, and even swallowing his own saliva was painful.  At this rate, I may just pass out before reaching the city.  

It was nearly dusk when he arrived at the City of Freedom, with the moon already clearly visible in the sky.  Mondstadt looked the same as ever, with its towering walls standing tall and imposing over him.  He quickly made his way to Albedo’s office, the chilling fall wind whisking through his hair.  Xiao gave the guards a quick nod, and pushed open the headquarter’s doors.  As always, the building was eerily quiet.  The alchemist’s door is slightly ajar, and Xiao can see a lamp dimly lighting the messy room.  

“...Albedo?”

Stepping into the office, his eyes instantly spotted the familiar mop of blond hair amongst the pile of paperwork.  Slowly, he sat down on a spare chair and sighed.  There was no way he could hold a fluid conversation with anyone, even one word had caused his throat spasms of pain.  

Xiao brushed his hand through Albedo’s hair.  It was soft, such as what you would expect to feel if you could touch a cloud.  The only sounds came from a wall clock mounted above the door, the ticking signaling a pass of time.  

~~

He wasn’t quite sure how long he had been in Albedo’s office, but when the alchemist stirred, it was already pitch black outside.  

“Xiao?”  Albedo rubbed his eyes sleepily, staring at him with a strange look.  “Am… am I still dreaming?”

Xiao shakes his head, softly touching his hand to prove he was real.  “No, I’m really here.  You’re not dreaming.”  

When the realization strook, the alchemist nearly jumped from his chair.  “Oh my goodness, how long have you been waiting here?”  

Before he could respond, another cough racked through his body and Xiao attempted to stifle it.  The white petals stuck to the insides of his mouth as he swallowed them down again.

He couldn’t let Albedo worry about him.

“Are you okay?  I have some cough medicine with me from the last time Klee was sick, do you want that?”  He gets up and starts rummaging through his cabinets, as excess sheets of paper fly out.

“No.. normal medicine doesn’t work on me.”  Xiao had given up whispering his words, since speaking normally was out of the question.  

Albedo seemed to notice how hoarse his voice sounded, and nodded.  “I guess I could get you something to help with your sore throat…”  Handing him a green vial, he gestures at it.  “This should help, but I can make more if you need.”

Uncorking the medicine, he briefly smelled it.  It had a faint mint scent to it, reminding Xiao of the mint pudding Albedo had introduced to him a few weeks ago.  He could feel the instant relief, and the pain in his throat instantly subsided after he finished the medicine.  It was… a relief, to say the least.  

“Thank you.”  

The alchemist smiled.  “It’s not a problem, I would honestly do anything to help you.”  

An awkward silence settled over both of them, and Xiao slowly looked around.  The tabletop lamp flickered slowly, most likely lit with a candle.  There were a few crayon drawings, made by Klee, on the opposite wall.  A qingxin flower that he brought for Albedo lay on one of the top cabinets, yellow and dried.  Even though the office seemed like a mess, there was a certain homeliness to it, making it very comfortable to stay in.  

“Xiao?  There are some empty dorms on the second floor of this building, perhaps you would like to stay in one for now.”  

“No… I’ve already bothered you enough, I should get going…” He slowly got up from his chair and headed towards the door, pushing it open.  There was no way that he could stay here any longer; Xiao already felt guilty from wasting the alchemist’s time on him.  Perhaps Albedo could have slept a few extra hours without him here, or maybe get some of his work done.  

He felt a hand grab his, and he spun around.  Albedo stared at him with a harsh expression, sighing.  “You’re not a burden to me, nor anybody else.  I want to help you, don’t you understand?”  

It was as if time had stopped between the two of them, and Xiao’s breath hitched.  Ocean blue eyes stared back at him, daring him to leave the room.  

“Why do you insist on helping me?”  Xiao shook his head.  “I’m just an adepti destined to pass away from my karma, anyways.  I’ve been living my life fine all this time, so why…?” 

Albedo leaned in closer, until he could feel the breath of the alchemist against his skin.  Shivers course through his body, but he didn’t shy away.  “You’re too important to me already, I can’t let you fade.”  

Him?  Important to Albedo?  

Xiao paused.  How could someone like him even compare to such a perfect being?  He felt as if it was comparing a rock to a gem, with all the flaws that he had.  Before he could respond, though, a sudden cough interrupted his thoughts.  White petals flutter out of his mouth, coated in blood.  It didn’t hurt much though, thanks to the numbing medicine Albedo gave him.  He did, however, forget that the alchemist was in the same room.  

The pained expression that he gave off was going to get ingrained in Xiao’s head forever, and he mentally cursed himself for revealing to Albedo his disease.  He knew this was going to happen, and his heart was not ready for it.  

“Xiao…”  

He turned his head away from the alchemist in shame.  Perhaps if he didn’t see the pain on his face, it would make it easier for him.  

“Is it curable?”  

Xiao shook his head.  “I don’t know, it seems as if nobody knows what this disease is.”  He had tried going to Zhongli, Baizhu, even asking Cloud Retainer for solutions to this mysterious illness.  All of them had responded with the same answer: that they had never seen such a strange affliction.  It was hopeless, and he had come to terms that he would never be cured. 

Albedo frowned.  “Stay here in Mondstadt for a while.  I may be able to find something on this illness, as well as create a cure for it.”  

“I…”  He knew inwardly that he couldn’t stay.  After all, he did have responsibilities in Liyue, as well as people he needed to meet.  Yet Xiao couldn’t bring himself to say no to spending more time with Albedo, so he nodded.  “Alright.  I’ll stay for a bit.”

~~

Albedo

It had taken him a lot longer than he thought it would to convince Xiao to stay at his house for the time being, but he had done it and was extremely proud of himself.  Albedo was able to give him a spare bedroom,  as well as a set of spare keys to his house.  He had a feeling he would be staying for quite a long time.

“...are you really sure I can borrow the bedroom?”  

The alchemist nodded.  “I’m absolutely sure about it, trust me.  You won’t be disturbing anyone since I only live here.”  He unfurled the covers and placed it neatly onto the mattress, and gestures at the bed.  “You should sleep, it’s certainly been a long day for you.”  

Through the window outside, he could already see the sun slowly rising on the horizon, which most likely meant that Xiao had almost spent an entire day without sleep.  No matter the illness, though, rest was always important for a quick recovery.

“I guess I could…”  After a moment, he added, “Thanks.”  Xiao slowly sat down, the bed creaking under his weight.  They made brief eye contact and Albedo smiled. 

“Thank you for trusting me.”  With that, he turned around and left the room.  After all, he had a lot to do.

~~

He first decided to check the library’s restricted section on the adepti’s disease.  It had seemed to cause the adepti much pain, even rendering him unable to speak properly.  He also determined that the white petals coming from his mouth were celias, which made it even more strange.  Perhaps it was a curse, placed on him by somebody.  

Knowing Xiao, he must have attempted to hide his illness for as long as he could.  His heart broke at the thought of him hiding his suffering from others.  

The library was almost like a ghost town, as it was an early morning, and Lisa had not arrived yet.  Albedo slowly walked towards the books behind Lisa’s desk, and crouched down.  He could see why the books here were restricted, as many were rare and dangerous if it got in the wrong hands.  

He recognized multiple familiar book titles from when he was working with his master: Art of Khemia, Mythical creatures in Khaenri’ah and where to find them, Famous Figures in Alchemy.

How Lisa was even able to obtain some of them was questionable, as Khaenri’ah was already destroyed and any remaining proof of it was extremely precious.  Nevertheless, he found several titles that would perhaps help with the illness. 

There was one on rare diseases, and some on flowers.  Sitting down at one of the many tables lining the middle of the library, Albedo sighed. It was going to be a long morning.  

~~

Xiao

Xiao woke up to the loud noises coming from outside.  Blearily opening his eyes, he stared out the window and was greeted by the bustling crowd.  It looked as if he had slept for the entire day, seeing as the sun outside was already high in the sky.  

Where was Albedo?

He quietly stepped outside, and found nothing but an empty house.  It was dead quiet, the only sounds coming from a small indoor fountain bubbling in the corner.  A pair of slippers lay by the door, which must have meant that the alchemist had already left.  Xiao knew that Albedo had responsibilities, but a small part of him couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed.  He wasn’t sure why, after all, they were nothing but two people who happened to be more associated with each other.  

Suddenly, his throat felt lodged, and Xiao remembered he still had an illness.  After drinking the alchemist’s medicine for his sore throat, the petals came less frequently, which was a godsend.  It seemed as if the cure was wearing off though, as in his palm laid even more bloody white petals.  Carefully throwing them away, he was able to get a sip of water when another round of coughing plagued him.  It seemed as if the disease was coming back now, faster than ever.  

Xiao wondered if he should look for Albedo, to make sure he was getting enough food and sleep.  After all, the alchemist did have a habit of forgetting to eat when he was immersed in his work.  

~~

The walk to the Favonius Headquarters was extremely tiring.  It felt as if something was sapping energy out of him, leaving Xiao tired and weak all the time.  He also had to make sure his coughing didn’t alarm the others around him; if word got out that an adepti was weak, people may use it against him.

Opening Albedo’s office, he found that the alchemist wasn’t there, which most likely meant that he didn’t leave because of work purposes.  Where could he possibly be?

Turning around, he nearly ran into Lisa, who was languidly standing beside the door frame.  

“Looking for Albedo?”  

Xiao slowly nodded. How the librarian even saw him come in was strange, as she usually stayed in the library.  “Do you know where he went?”  

“Oh, he’s in the library.  Be quiet though, because it seemed as if he was sleeping the last time I checked.”  Lisa sighed.  “I’m fairly sure he spent hours in the library already, since when I came in, he was already there.  Check on him for me, ok?”  

“Thank you.  I’ll make sure he’s okay.” 

  He never took Albedo as a reader, so what was he even doing there?  

Before he could even say anything else, Xiao felt petals trying to force themselves out of his mouth, and held back a cough.  He couldn’t let Lisa see, it was too dangerous.  The thing in his throat felt… larger than usual, and panic suddenly welled up in him.  If they weren’t petals, then what was it?

It must have been obvious from the look on his face that something was wrong, because Lisa was now frowning.  “Is everything okay?  You seem to be sick, you should most likely go and rest up.”  

Xiao shook his head.  He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, the thing in his throat would find a way to escape.  He slowly walked towards the door, when Lisa decided to step in front of him and stop his escape.  

“No, I’m not letting you out until you tell me what’s wrong with you.  Your face seems especially pale then when I typically see you, and now you looked as if you were going to throw up.”  

There was no escaping her, so Xiao decided to just simply tell her that he had a sore throat.  Upon opening his mouth, he couldn’t even say anything when a cough wracked his body.  His throat felt like it was on fire, and speckles of blood dotted the palm of his hand.  Yet… no petals came out.  More coughs came, and the pain was unbearable.  It hurt so much.  More than any wound he had received in battle, more than the karmic debt he had learned to live with.  He briefly wondered what he had done to deserve such treatment, to be in such agony.  

Xiao wasn’t sure how long it had been, but when the pain slowly stopped, a bloody flower lay at his feet. 

A cecelia.  

Lisa slowly led him to a chair, and he sat down.  The silence was deafening, as proof of his illness was already on the floor.  The flower seemed to be… fresh, as the stem was still green.  How his body even produced such a plant was a miracle in itself.  

“I see you do have a disease, then.”  

Xiao slowly nods.  

Lisa sighs.  “You should go check on Albedo, then.  I saw him reading multiple books on illnesses and flowers, perhaps he was trying to find a cure for you.”  

The thought of the alchemist spending hours helping him with his illness gave Xiao immense guilt.  After all, it was his problem to deal with, not anybody else’s.  

Giving the librarian a quick nod, he immediately started heading towards the library.  Perhaps he could get Albedo to give up, since it was impossible to find a cure to it, anyways.  

Pushing the wide double-doors to the library open, the adepti found the blond sitting alone, with stacks of books on either side of him.  The light coming from the window in front of him made him look almost angelic, and he carefully sat beside the alchemist.  

Albedo looked at peace while he was sleeping, with his hair perfectly framing his face.  Acting purely on want, Xiao slowly rests his head on the table, using his arms as a pillow.  The more time he spent with the alchemist, the more selfish he felt himself becoming.  It was as if Albedo brought out a side of him that he didn’t know he had, one that was desperate for attention, for someone to care.  

He knew it was dangerous, but at this point, he really didn’t care.  Xiao had already given his heart to Albedo, there was nothing he could do.  

~~

Albedo

Albedo woke up to two beautiful golden eyes staring at him.  

Was he dreaming again?

“...Xiao?”

The adepti smiles softly.  “You’re awake.”

Frowning, he gazed around.  He slowly began to remember what happened before he fell asleep.  

“I apologize, I must have fallen asleep while reading.”  

Xiao shook his head.  “Don’t apologize.  You were doing it for me, and that’s enough thanks .”  

He only just realized how hoarse the adepti sounded, almost as if his disease had gotten worse.  He also looked a lot more tired, with dark eye bags giving off the impression that he didn’t sleep for days straight.  

“Are you okay?  You seem to be worse off.”  

Xiao laughed nervously.  “I’ve started coughing up flowers.”  

 Albedo’s eyes widened when the adepti showed him the bloodied cecelia flower.  It was… hauntingly beautiful, with its snow-white petals and bright green stem.  

The adepti’s eyes slowly drifted over to the large stack of books on the table, and idly took one.  Flipping through the pages, he frowns.  “How do you manage to read this?  I have never seen a language like this.”  

“It’s a rare language, since almost everybody that speaks it is deceased.”  Several books had notes that Albedo wrote before he fell asleep, all open and scattered messily across the long wooden table.  

Picking up one of those titles, the picture of a person coughing up flowers fills the page.

The title reads Hanahaki Disease : The Lovesick IIllness.  A short sentence accompanies it in the bottom right.

“...very possible that this is Xiao’s ailment…”  Albedo quickly skims over the lengthy paragraphs and immediately gasps.  

“Xiao, look.  I may have found your illness.” 

He had been so exhausted while reading through the books it must not have registered that the description sounded awfully familiar to the adepti’s disease.

Hanahaki Disease: The victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will eventually grow large enough to render breathing impossible if left untreated.  Typically, this illness can be cured by a reciprocation of feelings or by medicine.  

Examination concludes that the petals the victim coughs out are usually the favorite flowers of their crush.  Other tests have proven that if you confess your love and they do not return the feelings, the sickness will grow faster.

Albedo looked up from the book and sighed.  “Well, at least we now know what plagues you.” 

Xiao stayed silent the entire time, seemingly lost in thought.  His eyes were downcast, as if he was afraid to look at the alchemist.  

“Are you alright?”  

The adepti slowly nodded, and let out a tight laugh.  It almost sounded as if he thought this was a sick joke.  “So I must confess my feelings to the one I love?”  

Albedo nodded.  “...you could also choose to drink the medicine.  The book included a recipe for it, I can mix one up for you.”  pausing, Albedo grimaces.  “There are a few… side effects of the medicine though.”

Xiao slowly took the book from Albedo, and briefly read through it. 

Side effects include forgetting everything related to your love, extreme nausea, and a possible blackout after drinking.

 “I guess that is the best option for now…”  after a pause, he sighed.  “My unrequited love is going to be quite a bother, anyways.”  

The alchemist looked at the adepti and placed his hand over his.  “If you don’t mind me asking, who’s the object of your desires?”  

He instantly regretted asking him when Xiao’s eyes flashed a hint of… sadness.  “It’s pointless, anyways.  They will never truly love me back.”  

The empty silence that filled the library was uneasy.  Only the sounds of pages flipping fill the building, as both of them struggled for words to say.  

“I’m sorry…. It must be hard to know that the person will not return your affection.”  

Albedo was never quite good at consolation, as he rarely gained much trust from people for them to explain their pains to him.  For some reason though, Xiao was a different case.  Perhaps it was the amount of time that they spent together, or the fact that the adepti was suffering from a life-threatening disease, but he felt… different.  

It was unlike any other friendship he had experienced, unlike Sucrose or even Lumine’s relationship.  It felt… warm.  As if it was a small spark inside him that could never seem to be extinguished,  

He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn’t even notice Xiao slowly standing up and pushing his chair in.  

“I’m… going to go collect my thoughts for a bit.  Perhaps we can meet later, to discuss our options to cure this disease.”  

Albedo nodded.  “I can start on creating the medicine, it will most likely be done by tonight.”  His mind had already compiled a list of ingredients he would need for such a complicated recipe, and he made a mental note to ask Sucrose to borrow some of her materials. 

As the two parted ways at the library entrance, he spotted the cecelia flower that Xiao was holding in his hands.  Without water, its petals were now wilting, and brown dotted its edges.  

He had to figure out how to cure this illness, for Xiao.  He couldn’t let a disease claim yet another person he loved.

Xiao

The second he entered Albedo’s house, Xiao collapsed onto the sofa and attempted to calm himself.  The sheer amount of information that was dumped onto him made it feel like he was drowning, and a sick, indescribable feeling started welling up inside of him.

He knew his karma would catch up to him one day or another.  The adepti knew it was fruitless to believe fate would be nicer to him: to let him enjoy the brief happiness without suffering any consequences.  

Guilt slowly ate at him, as he slowly regretted not telling Albedo anything.  

Xiao, for the first time, was out of ideas.  His mind slowly wandered to all the time that they had spent together, and realized for once that without the Alchemist, life would return to being bleak.  

Suddenly, a terribly painful cough caught him off guard and caused the adepti to sit up.  Placing his hand over his mouth, he spits out more cecelia petals along with splotches of blood.  This time, though, the illness was relentless.  More and more petals found their way out of his mouth, and the coughing didn’t stop.  

It hurt even worse than the last time, and he faintly wondered if he was going to be alive after all of this.  A sharp intake of breath caused Xiao to choke on the petals in his mouth, and it rendered him nearly impossible to breathe.  

I can’t breathe…

Someone, please help!

Any attempt at speaking was immediately silenced by the many petals coating his throat, and the adepti felt something wet trail down his face.

Was he crying?   

As black dots blurred his vision, the only thoughts filling his mind were those of the alchemist.  He felt as if he was drowning, and the more Xiao tried to breathe the harder it was to keep his eyes open.  

Everything around him blurred, darkness creeping up to claim his vision.  

I’m sorry.

Albedo

The brewing process for the medicine took much longer than he expected, but it was finally finished.  Carefully pouring it into a small glass vial, he corked it and placed it in his pocket.  Hopefully Xiao would drink it as soon as possible, his illness was already teetering at the edge. 

Exiting the Favonius Headquarters, he started heading towards his house.  The sky outside was beautiful, the sun painting the sky orange and yellow as it set.  He wondered if he could bring the adepti out to view the majestic sunset someday again, just like the first time they met.  

Albedo passes by Flora, who was just starting to pack up her flower stand.  A bright white bouquet of flowers caught his eye and he gasped.  

“May I ask what type of flowers these are?”  

The florist beamed.  “Oh, we just recently got them as a limited edition Liyue shipment!  They are called qingxin.”  

The alchemist was quite sure those were Xiao’s favorite flowers.  He remembered him saying that they grew on tall cliffs, similar to cecelias.  

Smiling, he purchases a bundle for the adepti.  Perhaps with his favorite flowers around, it would help him heal faster.  

Walking home faster, he couldn’t wait to surprise him with the small gift.  A small ghost of a smile flashed across Albedo’s face as he unlocked the door to his house, pushing it open.  

He was greeted not with Xiao’s beautiful face, but with a mess of blood and petals and Xiao lying on the floor.  His heart stopped.

Albedo dropped everything he was holding onto the floor, and ran over to the adepti.  He felt lightheaded, and prepared himself for the worst.  

“Xiao… xiao, please, wake up.”  Tears threatened to fall as he messily felt for a pulse.  His brand new jeans and jacket were most likely going to be stained with blood, but that was the least of his worries right now.  He breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the weak but steady pulse, and slowly removed his hand from his neck.  

The alchemist felt extremely guilty for leaving Xiao at home, when he was so obviously sick.  It was his fault for not caring for the adepti enough, he had instead decided to selfishly stay in his laboratory to create the cure.

It had only then registered to Albedo how many petals there were.  It looked as if somebody scattered them around his body, yet he knew that wasn’t the case.  Xiao’s disease was getting worse, and unless they didn’t do anything about it, he wasn’t going to make it out alive.  

Carefully carrying the unconscious adepti over to his bed, he removed the many decorations that adorned his body and placed them neatly on a side table.  He would have to ask Barbara tomorrow to look into Xiao’s current condition.  

Working to quickly clean the blood off of his body, Albedo hadn’t even noticed he was crying until wet spots appeared on the bed sheets.  Wiping them with the back of his hand, the alchemist realized what he was feeling was fear.  

He didn’t want to lose Xiao.  

He would be willing to do anything for the adepti, if it meant it would keep him alive.  He was just much too bright of a person to meet such a terrible end.  Albedo’s heart broke at the prospect of having a love that will never be reciprocated, he couldn’t imagine anybody that wouldn’t love him.

Slowly standing up, he placed the medicine, still in its vial, on the bedside table along with a note.  

This is the cure for your illness.  Please drink it as soon as possible.

With that, Albedo closed the door behind him with a neat click and got to work cleaning the rest of the living room.  

It was only then when he realized that the bouquet of qingxin he had bought was already stained red from the blood on the floor.

Xiao

Xiao woke up to a beaming Barbara sitting next to his bed.  He still remembered in clear detail what happened to him before collapsing.

He was still alive?

“Oh!  You’re awake!”  She removed the wet towel placed over his head and wrung it out in a nearby basin.  

“Where’s Albedo?”  Attempting to get up, his head immediately felt like lead and he flopped back down onto the bed.  

Barbara took the basin, which was now full with water, along with the towel and headed towards the door.  “I can call him in if you wish, he was extremely worried for you.”  

“How long was I out for?”  

She frowned.  “Albedo found you during the night, so I would say… half a day?”  

The nun then left the room, and he heard a soft “Albedo?  Xiao’s awake now.”  Faint footsteps could be heard coming towards his room and the alchemist burst in.  

“Xiao….” 

The alchemist rushed over to his bedside and hugged him.  “I was so afraid that you wouldn’t wake up, I was so scared…”  

The warm comforting hands felt nice on his back, and Xiao reciprocated the act.  It honestly never occurred to him how touch starved he was until he came into contact with Albedo.  

“Hey… at least I’m alive...”  letting go of him, the adepti sank back into the fluffy pillows.

Albedo turned around and picked up a small vial of clear liquid from his bedside table.  “I created the cure… you should drink it as soon as possible.”  Handing it to Xiao, he swirled the liquid around in the vial.  

Now that he was faced with the decision to take the medicine, it was certainly a lot harder than he thought it would be to actually do it.

He didn’t want to forget Albedo.

He didn’t want to forget their nightly meetups, the beautiful mornings they spent watching the sunrise.  

“Xiao… why are you hesitating?” 

The adepti placed the medicine back onto the bedside, and sighed.  “I… don’t know if I want to drink it now.”  

Albedo frowned.  “Your life is at risk here… why are you not willing to intake the medicine?”  

Xiao whispered, ever so faintly, “I don’t want to forget them.” 

The alchemist stared at him with an unreadable expression..  “You don’t understand.  You can die if you don’t get rid of the flower’s roots in your body.”  

“I know.  It’s just that I treasure the memories I have with them.”  Xiao nervously fidgeted with the hem of the blankets.  He couldn't stand looking at Albedo, especially since his judgemental stare was making him extremely uncomfortable.

“Please trust me.  It’s not worth it to waste a life for love.”

The adepti sighed.  

How could I ever tell him that the person whom I love is him?

“I’m sorry, Albedo.  I just don’t want to do it now.”  

The alchemist’s eyes sparkled with something that he couldn’t quite describe.  Was it jealousy?

“Fine.  Take your time, make your decision.  Just please, please don’t regret this.”  With that, he turned around and left the adepti alone.  

It pained him to see Albedo so heartbroken, but he truly, truly didn’t want to forget.  Was it too selfish to wish for that one thing?

Albedo

He couldn’t understand why the adepti was so insistent on not drinking the medicine.  It was an extremely selfish move.  Xiao was putting his love in front of his own life.  Did he not know the many people that would mourn him, did he not take that into account?

His sudden anger at him almost scared himself, but it was only then did he realize how much Xiao meant to him.  

Once, the adepti had said this: “Once you’ve had a taste of heaven, the fall to hell becomes much, much worse.”  

Albedo just had to only hope that Xiao didn’t take his words as hatred, since he truly did not mean it that way.  

~~

It was already late at night when Xiao left his room.  He held an empty plate in his hands, which meant at least he had eaten what Albedo gave him.

Stepping into the living room, he stared at the alchemist with a strange expression. 

“...Albedo.  It’s so late, why are you still awake?”  Opening the faucet, he washed the dish and placed it neatly on the drying rack.  

“Well, I could ask you the same question.”  The clock next to him read 11:35.  

Xiao sighed and sat down at the dining table the alchemist was at.  “I’m sorry for not agreeing to take the medicine.  I know you care about me, but… those memories I have with them are just too precious.”  

Reaching out, Albedo lightly touched Xiao’s hand across the table.  The adepti flinched, before relaxing.  “No, I should be the one apologizing to you.  It’s my fault for not understanding.”

The adepti curiously eyed the book that Albedo was reading.  “Is this for the Knights of Favonius?”  

“Oh… I was just studying ways to create an alternate medicine that won’t wipe your memories.”  He was thinking of doing a more potent cough medicine that he gave Xiao a few days ago.  It did seem to stop his symptoms for nearly half a day, so perhaps he could use that to his advantage.

“You don’t have to go to such lengths for me. ” Xiao shook his head in frustration. “I don’t get it.  I’ve lived on for so long, why not just let me die?”  

Albedo sighed.  

You have no idea how much I care for you, do you?

“Believe me when I say I truly consider you as a close friend.  Please, please just remember you have people in this world who will cry for you if you leave.”  

The adepti’s eyes reflected a sort of pain in them, and he nodded.  “I… I think I still may need more time to think about it.”  

The alchemist pulled Xiao in for a hug, and this time, he buried himself into his shoulder.  

Who knows when he will be able to hug him again?

Xiao

It had almost been two weeks since he had come to visit Albedo with his illness.  The disease had gotten much, much worse, and now rendered Xiao almost entirely bedridden.  Barbara came to check on his condition every morning, and the alchemist was almost always near his side.  

Albedo was working tirelessly on another cure, and it showed.  His dark eye circles were obvious, and stood out against the stark white of his skin.

Guilt had slowly started bubbling up inside of him.  With all the excess time Xiao spent on his bed, it left him to his own thoughts for a long time.

Should he give up his memories of Albedo just to ease the alchemist’s worries?

 Petals no longer made an appearance, and instead, he would cough out fresh, white flowers.  Every time felt just a tiny bit more painful than the one before, and it was soon so bad that he wasn’t able to talk.  

The cure was still placed neatly on his bedside table, as if tempting Xiao to drink it.  He could just decide to end all of this in one gulp.  It wasn’t that hard, and perhaps he would be able to become friends with Albedo again.

Why was he so hesitant, then?

No matter how hard he tried, a small part of just didn’t want to let go of the scraps of memories he had treasured deep in his heart.

~~

Pain had a strange way of blending time together, until it was all a blur.  He would continuously cough out flowers, seemingly with no end.  

Albedo kept on pushing for him to take the medicine, even though they both knew it was a futile attempt.  

Zhongli had come to visit him, even bringing some osthmanthus wine for Xiao.  It was pitiful, almost.

A powerful adepti that was brought down just because of a silly crush.

He really did want to get better.  He truly, truly did.  Wanted to stop Albedo from frowning all the time, wanted to give himself another chance at living again.  

Xiao had gotten very close to curing himself, as well.  

He had uncorked the vial, and brought it to his lips.  He wondered if drinking this would solve all his problems, and make everyone around him happier.  Xiao had been trapped for so long, suppressing his wants and needs in favor of other’s.  Would it really hurt to just do that again?  

But…. he didn’t want to give up the light just yet. 

Albedo was his light, and giving that up meant falling back to darkness.

He didn’t want to be alone again.

Slowly, Xiao set the vial back down on the nightstand and sighed.  

He couldn’t do it.

He was always too weak, wasn’t he?

~~

The next time he opened his eyes, it was already dark outside.  The quiet scritch of graphite on paper makes Xiao turn his head, coming face to face with the blonde.  

"Ah… you're awake."  Albedo gave him one of his rare smiles, and Xiao found himself slightly flushing.  

"I thought you were out finishing up an alchemy project."  The adepti whispered it ever so quietly, as not to disturb the calming environment.

Albedo shook his head.  "I finished it early, so I came to make sure you were okay."  

Xiao curiously stared at what the alchemist was drawing, and found a beautiful drawing of himself.

A small part of him felt touched at the notion that even though he was sick and most likely looked like a mess, Albedo was able to make him feel slightly better about himself.  Not just a weak and useless being laying there, dying.

The alchemist noticed that Xiao was looking, and unclipped the picture from his clipboard.  

“Ah… I hope you don’t mind that I was sketching you.  You just looked so peaceful.”

The adepti now had a clearer view of the artwork that Albedo drew, and he couldn’t help but marvel at it.  In the picture, it looked like nothing was burdening him, and exactly as the alchemist described it: peaceful.

If only he was truly that free.

Xiao slowly took the drawing and placed it neatly in a drawer full of Albedo’s pictures.  All the time that they had spent together had amounted to piles upon piles of art that he had gifted him.  

An empty silence followed, and he stared at Albedo with a sort of longing.  Or, perhaps, that was all just his introspection.  After all, Xiao had to treasure every last minute he had with the alchemist.  Every small detail of him was etched into his mind: his soft, fluffy hair, the beautiful half-smile adorning his face whenever the alchemist looked at him.  

Albedo stared at the cure again, then turned to him.  “You know, you don’t have much time left….”  

The adepti smiled tiredly .  “I know.  Yet… I don’t think I would be able to live if I forget the person I love.”  

Like sand slipping through his fingers, his time would soon run out.  He just had to make the most of it.  

Albedo

He felt sick whenever Xiao talked about his crush.  

Albedo didn’t know why he hated it so much, but an ugly feeling would bubble up every time the adepti mentioned them.

Was it jealousy?  He didn’t even know.  Shoving it down and locking it into the depths of his mind had worked all this time, at least up until tonight.  After leaving Xiao’s bedroom, he sat on the living room couch and blankly stared at the wall in front of him.  

What was Xiao to him?  

Perhaps, a good friend, or an acquaintance?  

But then again, Lumine was a close friend of his.  Would he go to such lengths for her?

Would he take a break from his work if she was seriously sick, offer her his house to rest in, and care for her?

He already knew the answer in his heart way before his mind was willing to formulate an answer.  

No, I would not.

No matter how hard he tried, Albedo would never be able to run away from the truth.  After all, they say that you can never run away from your own lies.  

The small butterflies that he would get in his stomach whenever Xiao smiled at him was proof enough that he didn’t just view the adepti as a friend.  It was fruitless to delude himself into thinking otherwise, when the naked truth laid before him.  

He liked him.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, if you will.  His thoughts would always end up on the adepti, even when they were apart.  Albedo had never quite known what love was until Xiao came and showed him a beautiful and precious thing.  

For the first time in months, he felt freer than he had ever been, coming to terms with such a truth.

~~

Albedo had taken a temporary leave from his position as a chief alchemist.  There was just no way he could juggle his workload with the adepti’s cure research without messing one or the other up.  

Jean had given him a sympathetic smile, and nodded in agreement.  After all, “You’ve never used a single one of your annual leaves, and that would most likely tally up to be around a few month’s worth.”  

The alchemist had given her a quick nod and left her office, feeling slightly guilty that the rest of the knights would have to do more work to cover for his absence.  

Xiao had been relocated to the church for Barbara's constant monitoring, as he was now deemed “not stable enough to stay home.”  

The alchemist had been immensely worried for the adepti, of course.  Xiao was no longer able to clean up the flowers by himself, and the alchemist’s heart broke when the adepti tried to act normal around him.

He would smile to block out the impending dark cloud over both their heads, to pretend that life was okay for one day longer.  Maybe if he tricked himself into thinking that it was real, then .

The infirmary was made up of small, quaint rooms located at the very bottom of the cathedral.  It sort of reminded Albedo of the knight’s headquarters, just with more rooms and a longer hallway.  

“Albedo?”  Xiao brushed over his hand lightly.  The alchemist hums in acknowledgement. 

“Yes?”  

The adepti paused.  “What… are you going to do after I pass away?”  The question hung heavily in the air, as they both waited, struggling for words to say.  

“Xiao, don’t think about your future like that…”  Albedo sighed.  

Xiao played with the bedsheets, not willing to look at the alchemist.  He shook his head.  “No, you have to promise me that you’ll move on.”  After a pause, he continued.  “I can’t stand knowing that you will suffer after I’m gone.”

The alchemist internally winced at his wording.  “I’m not going to ever forget you, Xiao, and you know that.”  And that’s when it dawned on him.   

I’m not going to be able to move on.  He wouldn’t be able to live a life without imagining the adepti being with him.

Xiao let out a small cough, and laughed bitterly.  “I need a promise.”  He grimaced, and Albedo could tell that Xiao was forcing down the flowers in his throat for his sake again.  

“You don’t have to try and pretend that you don’t have the disease when I’m here, you know that?”  The adepti’s hands were clutching the bed sheets so harshly that his knuckles were turning white, and Albedo gently placed his hand over them.  “Xiao, you try too hard to please everyone but yourself.”

They both sat in empty silence for a while, and Xiao’s hands slowly clutched Albedo’s.  It was almost like an unspoken agreement with each other, that they used each other as a stabilizer in their lives.  

He would miss this feeling after Xiao is gone.

Albedo would miss many things about the adepti, after he was gone.  Weekends sitting on starsnatch cliff, telling each other small stories about their life. Perhaps he wouldn’t even be able to bring the adepti to Windblume, even though he himself had never gone.  

The alchemist let the truth wash over him, and he suddenly felt extremely sick.  It was the sort that he got whenever Xiao talked about his crush with love-stricken eyes, one that he had been ignoring for a while now.

The door suddenly opened with a creak, and Barbara came into the room carrying some medicine.  Stopping in her tracks when she sees the two, she bows and apologizes.

“Ah!  Am I disrupting anything?  I can always wait outside once you guys are done.”  She started to turn around, but Albedo sighed.  

“No… you can attend to Xiao.  We’re basically finished here.”  He gets up from the bed, and makes his way towards the exit.  

Albedo didn’t look back when the door closed behind him.

~~

Albedo wasn’t sure when he had been crying, or how long he had been sitting on his bed with a pillow crushed between his arms.  

He was going to lose Xiao, and he was never going to see him again.

Smooshing his face against the soft pillow, he let his tears fall until it made the fabric wet.  It was extremely unlikely for him to be this sensitive to emotions, but of course, Xiao had come and rearranged all his rules unknowingly.  

Albedo slowly pushed himself off the bed and grabbed the book that he had read over almost twenty times already.  It was the same one that had originally mentioned Xiao’s illness, when they were both in the library.  

He found it slightly comforting to read through the chapter whenever he had felt stressed or needed a reprieve.  Perhaps it was because reading it reminded him that it was still curable, even though Xiao had refused to drink the very item that would save his life.

Minutes later, after staring at the same sentence over and over again, Albedo decided that there was no point reading.  It wasn't going to help him today, with all that was on his mind.

Suddenly, a small idea bloomed in his mind.  It was tiny, but it was a dangerous thought.  The recuperation of his actions would be massive, and Albedo would never be able to forgive himself.

Would he be willing to do whatever it takes to save the adepti, though?

Every time he visited the adepti, he couldn’t deny that his heart shattered into a million pieces.  He never knew when the next day he would see an empty bed instead of Xiao.  

Softly padding into Xiao’s empty room, he found the cure, lonely sitting on the bedside cabinet.  Albedo picked it up and placed it into his pocket.  The bottle felt heavy inside. 

Tomorrow, he was going to save the adepti once and for all.

Xiao

He woke up to another bout of coughing.  The flowers forced their way out of his mouth, and soiled the clean sheets Barbara had painstakingly changed just yesterday.  Xiao carefully took the bloodied flowers and placed them in a basin.  His hands had already started trembling just from doing so, another sore reminder that he never had much time to begin with.

He hated this.

He hated feeling weak and useless, to be such a sucker for something as simple as love.  He wanted, so, so badly, to just be free.   Why couldn’t he just be granted such a simple wish?

Barbatos, archon of freedom.  The irony of the situation was laughable.  Why was he given a vision symbolizing that exact mentality, when he couldn’t even free himself from these so-called chains?

Xiao knew that he was tired.  Everyone that he had ever loved was gone, either driven to their deaths by karma or by age.  Perhaps he was always just waiting for an escape.  Maybe this was just an excuse to leave everything.  

~~

The slow click of a door being opened caught Xiao’s attention, and he sluggishly turned over to face the person.  Oh.  It was Albedo.

“Hello… How are you doing?”  The alchemist appeared unusually nervous today, with his hands stuffed in his coat pockets.  

XIao frowned.  “Are you alright?  You seem more jittery.”  

Albedo sheepishly nodded.  “I just wanted to tell you something.”  The adepti noticed that he was clutching something in his left pocket, but paid it no heed.  

An awkward silence filled the emptiness, until the alchemist moved to Xiao until he was sitting on the bed with him.  His eyes were nervously darting around the room, seemingly looking at everything but  Xiao.

"Hey, are you sure you're-"  

Albedo quickly interrupted.  "Yes.  I was simply just thinking."  

The adepti couldn’t help but feel slightly hurt by the fact that Albedo was hiding something from him.  

Though it wasn't like he had a right to know everything about him, his mind helpfully supplied.

More time passed between the two of them and Xiao started to feel uneasy.  Albedo was never quite this quiet, and he was too afraid to spark a conversation.  Shifting on his bed, Xiao arranged the pillows so he can sit more comfortably leaning on the backside.  

Perhaps he could blame it on the weeks without practice that made his senses less sharp, but Xiao didn’t notice when Albedo turned to face him.  

Everything happened so quickly, Xiao couldn’t process it; the alchemist grabbed his face, and oh----  

This was always what he wanted.  

Was it?

Something was off.  The kiss seemed a bit too cold, too stiff, too bittersweet; as if the alchemist was saying, I’m sorry .  He realized this a second too late, when the world swam before his eyes, his vision dissolving into a whirlwind of color.  The only thing his eyes caught was the small vial that sat in Albedo’s hands.  

Didn’t Albedo promise that he would find an alternate medicine?  Why… why?

In that moment, Xiao felt… fear. Genuine fear that everything he had, all the memories he made, would disappear….

He collapsed onto the bed, and blacked out.

Albedo

The minutes after the kiss left Albedo filled with guilt.  It felt as if he was swimming in a huge vat of muck, making his body feel heavy like lead.  

He should have never done it, he should have never betrayed Xiao’s trust.  

The adepti’s limp body still lay on the bed, and Albedo attempted to tuck him in as best as he could.  Hands moving mechanically, he fluffed the pillows and straightened the bedsheets. Perhaps if he tried his best to help Xiao right now, it could erase all the guilt that was bubbling inside him.

He felt like one of Klee’s many science experiments: the ingredients had all been added, it was only a matter of time before he exploded.  Or, in his case, before his emotions got the best of him.

Why did he think it was a good idea, anyways?  Was he really that selfish, to disregard Xiao’s feelings just for more time with him?  

The sun outside had already set, making the whole room seem even darker than it already was.  Xiao was surely going to dislike him, now.  Albedo’s mind couldn’t think of a possible solution that the adepti wouldn’t hate him. 

The obnoxious ticking of the clock beside the adepti’s bedside table reminded him that it was almost time for Barbara’s nightly checkups with her patients, including Xiao’s room.  

What was he going to tell her?  That Xiao had fainted after he force-fed him the medicine?

He was tempted to simply write a note telling the deaconess what happened, to run away from his problems,

~~

Albedo found himself sitting on a beautiful mountain top overlooking the sunset.  The grass felt nice, soft and fluffy underneath his hands.  It was a welcome change to the wooden desk he sat in all the time.  He breathed in the fresh forest air and smiled. 

Everything seemed so peaceful, so quiet.  A tiny flash of green caught his eye, and Albedo saw Xiao sitting precariously close to the edge of the mountain.  Oh, now this was truly perfect.  

Getting up, he slowly walked over to the adepti and rested his head on his shoulder.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?”  

Xiao slowly nodded.  “Yeah.  I wish I could stay here forever like this.”  They both sat in silence, legs dangling over the cliff.  This moment was truly something he wished he could experience every day.  

The silence was always comforting when it was with Xiao: never awkward and forced, but something that they both enjoyed.  

Minutes passed, and Albedo couldn't help but wonder why everything around him was turning slightly red.  And a voice, a voice in his head kept on nagging him to push Xiao off the cliff.  It would be fast, painless.  Something he would enjoy.

What was wrong with him?  He loved Xiao, he would never do such a thing.  

The grass had turned a muddy red now, the sunset no longer yellow and orange.  The red was everywhere, he couldn’t see anything that wasn’t red, he couldn’t-

“Hey, Albedo.  Are you alright?”  Xiao placed his hands over the alchemist’s reassuringly.  “If there’s something wrong, you can always tell me.”

The alchemist stared at the adepti harshly and pushed him away.  “Get away, I don’t know what I’m going to do to you.”

“Albedo?  Are you really okay?  I promise I’ll always stay by your side.”  Xiao was too nice.  Too nice for a monster like him. 

Push him off the cliff.

Do it.

His hands automatically moved, placing two hands on Xiao’s shoulders.  

He couldn’t control himself, stop, stop!

“You should have never trusted me, Adeptus Xiao.”  

Albedo pushed him down.  The only thing he could focus on was Xiao’s betrayed face as it sunk down, down into the pit of red.  

He hadn’t even noticed that the once-picturesque sunset setting was turned into a red nightmare.  Everything around Albedo was dripping in red, so saturated he couldn’t bear to stand it.

The trees were bleeding, blood slowly bubbling from openings in its trunk, the grass was melting.  Oh, what had he done?  He did something truly terrible, he broke his own fantasy.  

Staring at the steep edge of the cliff, he slowly stood up and edged himself closer and closer.  It was his fault, wasn’t it?  He didn’t deserve a life after that.  

Albedo fell.

~~

Albedo woke up.  His eyes were filled with unshed tears, ones that spoke of guilt and pain.  

He just killed Xiao in his dream.  

He killed the only person that truly cared for him.  

Peeling the sticky covers off of him, he threw them to the floor in disgust.  He hated this feeling in his body, like he was chained to a rock.  

Forcing himself to stand up, he stumbled to the bathroom.  It was still early morning, yet Albedo knew that if he continued sleeping, he would be dragged into another horrifying nightmare.  

Everything felt so heavy when you felt guilty.  It was an ebbing pain that would never go away no matter how hard he tried.

Pushing open the door, he stared at the colorless bathroom.  It was just grey walls against white furniture.  Albedo never noticed how depressing it looked, not even when others mentioned it.  But now, standing on the cold tile floor, he started to see it.  No color.  Bland.

Flicking the lights on, he stared at himself in the mirror and felt small .  For the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to do.  It wasn’t a calculated decision, like any of his alchemical experiments.  Every choice he made was dangerous and possibly irreversible.  

It wasn’t like he had already made a terrible choice, though.

Washing his face, Albedo wiped off all traces of tears from his nightmare.  Perhaps if he simply pretended that Xiao took the medicine by his own accord, then it would work.  

It wasn’t your fault.  Xiao drank it himself.  You are not at fault.  

He knew this was simply a tactic of the mind to make him feel less guilty, but he simply did not care anymore as long as it worked.  If it would help shut down the pain in his body, then so be it.  He would willingly go through Xiao’s pain as punishment, if that made him feel less guilty.  

Turning around to grab a towel, his eye caught a necklace hanging from one of the pegs in his bathroom.  

Xiao’s necklace.  

The one he wore religiously everywhere he went, and the only thing Xiao left in his house before he moved to Barbara’s ward.  It was certainly beautiful: a chain of shiny, pure-white clay beads, adorned with the tip of a broken spear. 

Albedo turned away before he could even get reminded of the Adepti, but it was already too late.  All the walls that he had built for himself a few moments prior had already come crumbling down again as if it were simply just dust.  

Why did every small thing remind him about Xiao?

Guilt was threatening to creep up on him again, a dark shadow lying dormant in the dark.  He was sick of being chased all the time, Albedo had to do something to distract himself.  

He would apologize to Xiao when he woke up.  Whatever happened next would be up to fate, whether that be the Adepti leaving him, or if they became friends again.  

Albedo resolved to talk to Jean tomorrow.  Hopefully, he could get started on all the important documents he had yet to sign.  

Anything to distract himself from Xiao.

~~

Walking through the favonius headquarters was a breath of fresh air.  One that Albedo definitely needed.  The knights were polite as ever towards him, and he felt at home for a long time.  

Pushing open the door to Jean’s office, he was greeted with a mop of blonde hair on the desk.

Albedo instantly felt bad for having her work extra because he decided to leave his job for a few weeks.  It must have been exhausting, especially because he knew the grandmaster had a nasty habit of working too much.  

He lightly tapped Jean on the shoulder and she blearily opened her eyes.  “Oh… Albedo, you’re here.”  Rubbing her eyes, she blinked.  “I thought you were taking a break from working?”  

Albedo nodded.  “Yes, but due to… unforeseen circumstances, I had to change my plans a bit.”  He nervously eyes the stack of papers sitting on Jean’s desk.   “I also wish to apologize for my sudden break, it seems that you have taken it upon yourself to shoulder my job as well.”  

Jean stood up and stretched.  “You did look like you needed the break, so you don’t have to apologize.”  She slowly walked towards the alchemist.  “However, you are correct.  We need as many people as we can currently get, and your return would help greatly.”   

Handing him a pile of papers sitting on her desk, she stared at Albedo as if she was assessing him.  “I can also tell that you’re under quite a lot of stress, please don’t overwork yourself.  After all, your health is my priority.”  

He nodded.  “Thank you for your advice.  I will be sure to keep that in mind.” 

If he remembered to take a break, that is. 

Albedo clutched the stack of papers in his hands and turned to leave the office.  Jean had already gotten to work again, the soft scritches of pencil the only sound audible throughout the entire room.  

He closed the door and started making his way to his office.

~~

The rest of the day was filled with pages upon pages of paperwork.  Multiple of those were requests from Sumeru scholars to investigate Dragonspine, which he promptly declined.  Dragonspine was too dangerous for anybody to traverse on, and he was afraid of casualties that would be blamed on Mondstat if that happened.  

The only bright point of his day was when Klee had come to visit Albedo.  The young terrorist child was a curious being, and had showed him a recent bomb design that she designed herself.  

“It’s called Jumpty-Dumpty 2.0!  I made it specifically for you, big brother Albedo!  You seemed especially unhappy this week, so maybe this will make you happier!”  Klee cheerfully handed him the explosive.  

“Thank you, Klee.  I truly do appreciate you spending your time making this for me.”  Albedo had missed out on so much the past couple of days, especially playing with Klee.  He made a mental note to buy her some grilled fish after Xiao woke up.  If the adepti wished, he could also tag along.

The thought of the adepti alone already had Albedo warm and fuzzy, until he remembered that he had betrayed him.  Taken his trust and threw it down a drain.

He didn’t deserve Xiao anymore.  At least not after what happened.

~~

TIme passed way too quickly when he was absorbed in his work.  Before he knew it, Albedo already had to turn on the lights to look at the papers he was writing on. 

Distinctly, he could make out many of the knight’s voices that were saying goodnight to each other.  

Ah, the day shift ended already.  

Ever since Xiao came about, he had reserved his nights for him and him only.  But now, sitting in a desolate room with nothing but paper around him, he felt lonely.  He no longer had somebody by his side.  

It was almost pitiful, if he hadn’t been moping around for most of yesterday.  

He was here to work, not to rub salt in his wounds.  

Picking up his pen, he continued where he left off on his paper.  Ignoring the world outside him, he focused on nothing but the task at hand.  

~~

Albedo was greeted by the deaconess the second he stepped into his office.  Barbara waved at him with an unusually happy demeanor, even happier than she usually was.  

“Oh!  Albedo, I was looking for you everywhere.”  She pulled him in even closer, as if telling him a secret.  “Xiao finally woke up!  He seemed quite confused as to where he was, so I told him to wait for you.”  

He had been waiting for this moment, hasn’t he?  He was finally going to apologize to the adepti.

Albedo smiled nervously .  “That sounds great, Barbara.  Did he mention anything about, perhaps, disliking me…?”  

She frowned.  “No, I don’t believe so.  I only talked to him for a few minutes, after all.  Xiao seemed genuinely confused as to where he was, so I tried explaining.”  

At least Xiao didn’t appear to be too mad at him.  

The alchemist nodded.  “Thank you for your hard work, Barbara.  Without you, I wouldn’t know what to do.” 

“Oh, it’s truly not a problem. In fact, I believe it was an honor taking care of Xiao!  I heard he was a mythical being from Liyue that came to visit Mondstadt.”  She beamed.  

Barbara radiated positive energy when she turned around to leave the headquarters, humming what must be one of her newest songs.

He wished that he could have such a carefree life.

Albedo started to make his way towards the infirmary, all the while cycling the apologies he was going to say to Xiao through his head.  

~~

He stood in front of the door.  Ahead of him, lay a person that Albedo knew would break his heart.  No matter if the adepti accepted his apology or not, their relationship would truly never be the same again.  

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open.  

Golden eyes stared at him as he slowly sat on the chair next to Xiao’s bed.  

The words that Albedo had been practicing over and over on the way to the infirmary immediately vanished when he got a good look at the adepti.  Xiao’s eyes seemed duller than he had ever seen them, no longer containing the shiny luster that the alchemist had fallen in love with.

The two stared at each other for a long while before Albedo decided to speak up.  

Just apologize to him, that’s all you have to do.   

He cleared his throat.  “Xiao, I’m truly sorry for making you take the medicine.  I just didn’t want you to die and-”  Not two minutes into his apology and he was already rambling.  Albedo fought back the urge to cry.  “You don’t have to ever accept my apology, or even talk to me again if you wish.  I just want you to know that I loved you, and I still do.  So just please, don’t dislike me too much.”  He hesitates.  “My heart’s broken enough as it is.”  Albedo ends his words softly, almost as if he was waiting for the wind to carry it to Xiao’s ears.  

Xiao stares at him with an unreadable expression.  

He knew it, he knew the adepti would hate him after this.  No apology would ever do any good to remedy such a situation.

The adepti blinks.  “I… appreciate your apology, and I do truly feel that you are remorseful.”  

Albedo holds back a breath.

“But…” Xiao sighs.  “Do I know you?”

~~

Albedo was expecting rejection, for Xiao to push him away and never talk to him again.  He had prepared himself so long for this single moment, and what for? 

“You… don’t remember me?”  He hoped that it was a sick joke that Xiao was playing on him to get revenge.  

He had to be lying, right?

The air around him felt heavy and unsettling, and the alchemist could faintly feel teardrops pricking at the edge of his eyes.  The tiny room suddenly felt hot, and Albedo’s clothes felt constricting.  

Xiao frowned.  “I don’t even know where I am… how would I know who you are?”  

That’s when Albedo realized Xiao wasn't joking.  Xiao… 

Xiao loved Albedo.  That was the reason for the flowers, for all the bloody nights that had kept the adepti awake.

Albedo caused this, he made him suffer.  

He couldn’t stay here any longer, not when he was the sole cause of all of his pain.  His guilt had already begun to surface again, bubbling dangerously underneath the surface.  Albedo felt sick all over again, 

Turning his head, Albedo mutters something along the lines of “Sorry, I must go.” and heads towards the door.  

Hopefully, this would be the last time that he saw Xiao.  Somebody like him truly didn’t deserve the alchemist.

~~