Chapter Text
Ezra couldn’t sleep. He was lying on his bunk on the Ghost, parked safely on Atollon after a successful mission, and yet there was unease within him. He had tried meditating, but that hadn’t worked, and so now he was laying there, thinking over his whole life story.
Reminiscing wasn’t something Ezra liked to do any more. Ever since he’d found the truth about his parents, he’d had almost no reason to look back. Of course, that didn’t mean he never did. So much of who he was came from his time before the Spectres came into his life that it would be impossible for him to separate that part of himself. He was proud of how far he’d come, and what he’d learnt since then, but as a Jedi, looking into the past didn’t do him any favours. He was supposed to live in the present, in the here and now, and so that was what he did.
But this night was different. None of his Jedi teachings had worked, and so he’d fallen back on an old method his mum had taught him. He started by thinking back to the earliest thing he could remember – his face being licked by a Loth-cat. Then he would return in his memories closer and closer until he either got back to the present, or fell asleep. If he made it to the present without falling asleep, he would pick a particular person and focus on all his memories with them. This method had the added benefit of giving Ezra good dreams, as he thought back on his happy memories.
At this particular moment, Ezra had already relived most of his recent memories, the last of which had been that day’s mission, blowing up an Imperial relay station on some remote moon. He and Sabine had been tasked with placing the charges in the hard to reach areas. Sabine had opted to use her explosive paint, and while Ezra kept watch, she went to town creating art that not only covered as much of the station as possible, but also looked spectacular.
Ezra, admittedly, hadn’t been keeping watch as attentively as he should have…at least, not for Imperials. They’d been jumped and had had to fight their way out. He’d gotten an earful, but it had been worth it to see Sabine painting – something that he wasn’t allowed to do all that often. Any time he got to see that would be a happy memory for him.
He was just about to finally drift off to sleep when something tugged at his mind. He could feel unease on the Ghost through the Force. Something wasn’t right.
He reached out with his mind, gently, so as not to disturb anyone. Nothing was wrong, exactly, and they weren’t being attacked, safe as they were on Atollon, so it was confusing to Ezra that he was sensing such distress. He spread his senses even further, and that was when he noticed exactly where the problem was coming from. Sabine’s room.
***
Ezra made his way to the galley, careful not to wake anyone. He wanted to go and help Sabine, but he knew she would be more receptive to him if he could offer her something other than his opinion. They were still on touchy ground after Malachor and Maul, and he didn’t want to disturb her unnecessarily.
After finishing up his business in the galley, Ezra made his way to Sabine’s room, two steaming mugs in hand.
***
Sabine couldn’t sleep. She’d been tossing and turning for hours as she relived the day’s events. Damn Ezra. He’d almost ruined the mission, and almost gotten them killed, and on top of that he didn’t even seem ashamed of it. Sabine had thought that they were getting better after the whole ordeal with Malachor, Maul, and the Sith Holocron. They were hanging out more, relying on one another. She was enjoying spending time with him.
However, despite all that, he had messed up during the mission, and hadn’t even apologised. It was so frustrating, and it reminded her of bad things. Ezra was beginning to remind her of Ketsu. So many mistakes, putting their lives on the line, and no apologies.
Sabine knew he was better than that. He had proved himself to be. But lately he hadn’t been.
Sabine sighed. So much of who she was as a person was because of the mistakes she made in the past. She was determined not to repeat them again. Now Ezra was coming along and acting like one of those past mistakes. It was just so frustrating!
So deep inside her head that she was, Sabine almost missed the three quiet raps on the door.
Ezra’s knock.
Sabine groaned inwardly, debating whether to let him in or not. After all, he was the source of her frustrations. His second knock, louder this time, decided for her.
“Ezra, come in and stop making so much noise!” She whispered loudly.
The door slid open to reveal a sheepish-looking Ezra, holding two steaming mugs of…something. It didn’t smell like caf. He took a step inside and then stood there awkwardly, clearly at a loss for what to do now.
“What is it?” Sabine asked, more harshly than she intended. She sat up, dangling her legs off her bed, and looked at Ezra with a stony expression.
“I- uh, I’m- sorry, I brought you this. I, uh, couldn’t sleep and thought you might wanna chat?”
He looked nervous, and Sabine knew that if he hadn’t been holding two mugs, he would’ve been rubbing the back of his neck the way he always did when he’d done something wrong.
“What is it?” Sabine wasn’t going to let him off easily, not after the strife he’d caused her, but he HAD gone to the effort of making her a hot drink, and that did give him some points. She patted the bed next to her and Ezra wandered over. He reached up and handed her the warm mug, then sat down in a chair from her desk.
This is unusual. Normally he’d be fine to sit next to me. Sabine didn’t think too hard on it. After all, she was annoyed at him – maybe he was picking that up.
Sabine sniffed at her drink, then took a sip. Immediately, all annoyance she had felt towards Ezra disappeared.
“What is THIS?” Sabine exclaimed, taking another large draught of the beverage.
“It’s hot chocolate.” Ezra stated simply. Sabine couldn’t see his face to know that he was smiling at her reaction.
“Where did you get it?” Sabine couldn’t contain herself. It was delicious. Much better than caf, though Sabine knew she couldn’t get rid of caf from her diet if she wanted to remain awake ever.
“I picked some up on Lothal the last time we were there, and have been holding onto it ever since.”
“How come I’ve never tried it?”
“It’s considered a delicacy on many planets. It’s pretty common on Lothal, so I had it a lot growing up.” Ezra’s voice went soft at this point. “It reminds me of home.”
Sabine climbed down from her bunk and sat in the chair opposite Ezra. He was staring into his mug, and didn’t look up to acknowledge her. Sabine thought about how she’d just been so frustrated with Ezra for messing up the mission and reminding her of Ketsu. Ezra was still maturing. He’d been through so much at such a young age. Seeing the two mugs of hot chocolate he’d brought when he came to her room reminded her that while he made mistakes sometimes, he still cared. He was definitely maturing. It had been unfair to think like that. Sabine herself had messed up more than her fair share of missions, and one wrong move didn’t signify Ezra backtracking into his worst moments.
“Thank you.”
***
Ezra looked up. Sabine had just thanked him, but what for?
He must have looked confused, because Sabine continued.
“Thank you for coming in here and bringing me this hot chocolate. I was having trouble sleeping, and it’s good to have someone to talk to.”
Ezra smiled, blushing ever-so-slightly.
“Anytime.”
***
It was mid-morning by the time Hera found them there, heads resting on the table between them, now empty mugs sitting beside them.
She slowly backed out. They had obviously had a long night. They deserved their sleep, while they were safe. It wouldn’t be safe for much longer.