Archive of Our Own ^beta

The divorce had been a long time coming, she and Will both knew it. They simply got tired of pretending their marriage was salvageable. Neither of them believed in staying together just for the boys, it felt too disingenuous and that wasn't the kind of role modelling they wanted to teach their kids. Henry was fourteen and Michael had just turned seven, they were growing up entirely too fast for JJ's liking. The boys had taken the divorce fairly well, all things considered. It was JJ who was still getting used to the loneliness of it all.

Especially on nights like this, when she'd been gone for five days on a case only to come home to nothing but silence. She kicked her shoes off and flipped the TV on, it had become a habit to always have something on in the background when she was alone. She made her way to the kitchen to find her fridge was mostly empty, she hadn't gone grocery shopping knowing the boys would be away. But after nearly a week living on shitty take out, she regretted not having anything to cook. She decided one more night of shitty take out wouldn't hurt, she would just go to the store tomorrow.

She dug her phone out of her bag so she could order delivery. She smiled when she saw a missed call from Tara. Tara had been JJ's unexpected constant through the divorce. Having gone through a previous divorce herself, Tara had been there for JJ every step of the way and over the months they had become best friends. Not that they weren't friends before, they had worked together for years, but they had never spent tons of one-on-one time together until JJ's separation. Tara was always helping out with the boys in any way she could, to make JJ's life a bit easier. Not to mention, the countless hours Tara had spent simply listening to JJ vent or rage, depending on the day. JJ would never be able to repay Tara for the way she stepped in to help out over the tumultuous period.

JJ called Tara back as she grabbed a pint of mint chocolate chip from the freezer, opting to eat it straight from the carton while she got comfortable on the couch.

"Hey Jayje," Tara answered. "Did you get home okay?"

"Yes, mom. I made it home safe, I locked the door and everything," JJ joked.

"Ha ha ha, fuck me for caring about you," Tara jested. "I was calling to see what your plans for dinner were."

"Well," JJ looked down into the pint of ice cream in her lap. "I uhhh...I have it sorted..."

"You're eating ice cream on the couch in your underwear again, huh?" Tara questioned.

"I'm wearing clothes, thank you very much!" JJ huffed. "And I can eat ice cream for dinner if I want to."

"Not on my watch, I'll grab some ingredients and be over in... let's say forty-five minutes If that works?" They both knew it was a rhetorical question which Tara posed more as a nicety than an actual choice for JJ to opt out of.

"Sounds good," JJ chuckled. "It'll be nice to have some company."

"Yeah, I thought that might be the case," Tara replied. "Alright, I'll see you soon. Text me if you need anything specific from the store."

JJ hung up the phone, had two more bites of ice cream, then put it away so she wouldn't spoil her appetite. She had been surprised at how easily she fell into this routine with Tara, of all people. Tara kept track of when the boys would be with Will and she always made an effort to cook dinner or just come over to hang out with JJ, so she wouldn't be alone. JJ would be lying if she said she didn't look forward to those nights with Tara; if she had to be home without her kids, having Tara over was the next best thing.

There had been a time where Garcia, or even Emily, would have been JJ's go-to person when she needed someone nearby. But nowadays, Penelope was busy living her best life with Luke so JJ never wanted to impose on her. As far as Emily, their complicated history had always made JJ hesitant to call her to come over for any extended period of time, knowing neither of them wanted to fall into their old patterns. Especially since Emily and Fiona had gotten back together recently and JJ was giving Emily her space. For maybe the first time, JJ and Emily were doing great with just being friends and JJ didn't want to jinx their progress.

Then there was Tara. Tara didn't have anyone waiting for her at home, so she usually wanted the company just as much as JJ. They worked well together in the field, but they worked even better outside of it. Tara never hesitated to come over, no matter what time of day or night JJ called her. Tara's favourite way to help was cooking for JJ, just because it was something she loved doing but rarely felt like cooking for herself was worth it. As much as Tara enjoyed cooking for JJ,  she enjoyed cooking for the boys even more. She would come over and spend time with JJ and the kids quite often. It made JJ unbelievably happy that Henry and Michael adored Tara and vice versa.

JJ decided to have a shower before Tara arrived, so she'd feel like some semblance of a person again after their long flight back to DC. She had always looked forward to taking a shower when she got home from a case, hers had the perfect amount of water pressure, which made it a welcomed experience after days or weeks in sub-par hotels.

She had just finished when she heard the knock on the front door. Tara had a spare key but she refused to use it unless it was an emergency or on the rare occasion she needed get in the house when no one else was home. JJ wrapped a towel around herself and headed downstairs.

"Hey stranger," JJ laughed, knowing it had been precisely two hours since they last saw each other.

"Hey Jen," Tara smiled, leaning in to kiss JJ's cheek. "I seem to have interrupted your 'just got home from a case and I love my shower' ritual."

"Laugh all you want but nothing in the world beats it," JJ replied smugly.

"God, only nine months being single and you already forgot about sex?" Tara joked.

"Who needs sex when you have an endless hot water supply?" JJ decided.

"Speak for yourself, not enough hot water in the world for me to not need sex," Tara said flatly. "Go get dressed, you shower-obsessed weirdo. I'm making grilled chicken and vegetables. I needed real food after that horrible pizza we had for lunch before the flight"

JJ shuddered, "You mean the grease that also happened to have a bit of bread underneath it?"

"I swear I got heartburn before I even swallowed the first bite," Tara agreed. She waved JJ off, "Now, stop dripping on the floor and go put on clothes. You can take your time, I know my way around your kitchen."

"But if I take my time, I'd miss out on watching you," JJ reminded. "And you know how much I love watching you be domestic."

Tara scowled at the sentiment she would ever be 'domestic', "How is it that I have three grocery bags and somehow, what my hands are actually full of is you?"

JJ grinned, "You love it."

"Mhmm," Tara hummed. "You're such a pain in my ass."

JJ winked before heading back upstairs to finish her routine. She towel dried her hair before putting it up in  a messy bun. She hadn't done laundry before she left so her options of clean clothes were limited but she found a pair of sweat shorts and an old tank top that were comfortable enough.

"Oh perfect timing," Tara said when JJ walked into the kitchen. "I forgot to pour the wine before starting on the chicken and now my hands are dirty."

JJ opened the bottle Tara had brought and poured two glasses, setting one next to Tara. Tara just stared at it longingly as she continued to prep the chicken breast. JJ gave her a pointed look, "What? Do you want me to help you drink it too?"

"Oh! Would you?" Tara asked excitedly before studying JJ's expression. "That wasn't a serious question, huh?"

"Well... no," JJ laughed. "But if you really want me to pour wine in your mouth while you cook me dinner, it's the least I could do."

JJ walked over to Tara, stopping only inches from her, so she could carefully help Tara sip her wine. The interaction should have been absurdly humorous but instead, JJ's heart raced at how intimate the moment felt.

"Thank you! You are the best chef's assistant," Tara smiled. "Now, I have another task for you."

"Oh my god, are you actually going to let me help you make dinner?" JJ questioned. Tara never let JJ do anything to help cook, usually coming up with any number of excuses from 'you already do everything else in your house' to 'it's a secret recipe so you're not allowed to help'.

"Oh, no. Absolutely not. I was going to say your task is to decide what we're watching tonight," Tara retorted.

"Why are you so stubborn?" JJ huffed.

"Because I'm here to take care of you and I can't do that if you're in here trying to work, instead of relaxing!"

"Sure, sure," JJ replied over her shoulder as she headed to the living room. She flipped through the TV to see what was on, but found nothing of interest. Next she checked her streaming platforms until she came across a movie she had been wanting to see and figured it would be fine. They rarely made it through a whole movie without getting distracted in conversation or without one or both of them falling asleep.

Tara came into the living room to sit on the couch with JJ. "Alright, food is in the oven we have time for an episode of something before we can eat. What did you decide on?"

"What about this new queer rom-com?" JJ asked.

"Oh, Emily said that one was good and you know how she doesn't like anything so it's pretty high praise," Tara decided.

"Should we wait until after we eat for the movie? In the meantime, we can just put on an episode of something we missed while we were out of town," JJ offered.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. I can't remember what episode we're up to on Master Chef," Tara replied.

"Noooo, we watched Master Chef last time. It's my turn this week!" JJ grinned mischievously, as Tara realised what JJ would want to watch.

"C'mon! Please don't make me suffer through The Bachelorette," Tara sighed, taking a long sip of her wine.

JJ enjoyed watching Tara's discomfort for half a second before bursting into laughter, "Tara, I'm not going to force you to watch The Bachelorette. I know how much you hate reality dating shows or dating in general. I'll happily catch up on it when I'm alone this week. I think we probably have a back-log of Great British Bake Off episodes to watch."

"You've said all the magic words," Tara smiled.

They put on an episode of GBBO and cuddled up together, while making constant commentary about the contestants' bakes. When Tara's timer went off she went to finish up in the kitchen before returning to the living room with dinner.

"This is delicious," JJ compliment after a few bites.

"Glad you like it," Tara replied. She paused for a moment to just watch JJ. There was something special about nights like that one, where they were just themselves and didn't have to put on appearances like they would at work. Tara loved seeing JJ when she was fully relaxed at home, she was an entirely different person to 'SSA Jennifer Jareau'.

JJ glanced over and caught Tara's eye, "What? Do I have food on my face?"

Instead of admitting she had simply been admiring JJ, Tara reached over and brushed her thumb to the corner of JJ's mouth. "Nope, I got it," she smiled after removing the imaginary piece of food.

JJ's breath caught in her chest at the simple skin contact. "My hero."

"I always aim to please," Tara took a drink of her wine to hide the dopey grin plastered across her face. Her heart was racing at how casual it felt to touch JJ's lips, whether there had actually been food there or not. Tara was well aware of her crush on JJ, but after everything JJ had been through with the divorce, she had decided she wasn't going to make any moves. Tara genuinely loved their friendship and she feared messing it up by crossing a line JJ wasn't ready for.

They finished eating and started the movie JJ had picked out. As far as rom-coms went, the plot was predictable but at least the main characters were queer, which was refreshing compared to most of the heteronormative stuff they ended up watching.

"This reminds me, have you had any hot new matches on Tinder?" JJ questioned, wiggling her eyebrows. She paused the movie to give Tara her full attention. She loved taking any and every opportunity to tease Tara about being on the popular dating app.

"Ugggggh. Maybe I have finally realised, I am far too old to keep pretending like I'm going to meet anyone worth while through Tinder," Tara groaned in exasperation. "If I get called a MILF one more time, I'll have Garcia track down the 20-something lesbian who said it and delete their account."

"I dunno, I kind of like being a MILF," JJ shrugged.

"Yeah, well that's because you are! It's different for me, I don't even have kids," Tara remarked.

"Wow, you think I'm a MILF?" JJ challenged with a pointed glare.

Tara blushed while she used the moment to take a drink of her wine before moving on. "So how about you? How are you feeling about the wild world of dating?"

"I don't know, I still don't feel like I'm ready to get back out there," JJ shrugged. "I know Will's already dating again and that's fine, he can do whatever he wants. But between work and the boys, I just don't have time to get to know anyone."

"I get that," Tara agreed. "That's why I don't do relationships."

"Mhmm, right. You're 'no relationships' philosophy. The same philosophy that made you break up with Stephanie after they declared they were in love with you? Even though they were incredible?" JJ mocked.

"I can't help it that people fall in love with me, Jen. Have you seen me?" Tara gracefully gestured up and down at herself. "I can decide to cut and run when it happens."

"I don't get it, I guess I'm too much of an old-school romantic. But if it works for you, that's all that matters," JJ admitted. "Besides, not sure what I would do if you coupled up with someone like the rest of our friends. I'd miss you too much."

Tara knew JJ hadn't meant it platonically but knowing JJ also enjoyed their time together made her happy. "Coupled up? You truly are old-school," Tara teased. "If I ever did consider a serious relationship again, it'd have to be someone really special. But I can't imagine leaving you as the only single one, so here we are. I mean, I know that if I left you alone you'd just be spending every night sitting in your underwear, eating ice cream for dinner, and making horrible life choices like watching The Bachelorette."

"You know, I can actually take care of myself without you! I AM an adult, a mother, and a high qualified FBI agent who could easily kick your ass," JJ scoffed.

"Well, if you have everything so taken care of, guess I'll stop coming round then," Tara decided. She sipped her wine while giving JJ a stern look.

"Yeah right." JJ rolled her eyes knowing it was an empty threat. "If you're done being a smartass now... do you want to see how this movie ends or what?"

Tara wrapped her arm around JJ's shoulders to pull her in close so they could keep watching. Not that it mattered much, JJ fell asleep against Tara's chest about twenty minutes later. Tara rested her face against the top of JJ's head, simply enjoying the companionship of the moment. She knew she should have woken JJ up and made her go to bed, but that meant she'd have to leave for the night.

Tara wasn't quite ready to head home so she just finish the movie by herself. She told herself it was because JJ just looked too serene and comfortable to wake up and not because she just enjoyed JJ sleeping in her arms. Nearly an hour later, after watching the entirety of the credits, Tara gently woke JJ up.

"Mm, what time is it?" JJ yawned.

"Late. You should go to bed," Tara replied. She pressed a kiss into JJ's hair.

"Are you staying?" It was a question JJ asked every time Tara was over at the house past a certain time. What she really meant was 'Would you stay with me?' but she hadn't quite worked up the courage to word it so directly, instead she always opted to phrase the question so it was less of an invitation.

"No, I think I'll head home." It was the answer Tara gave every time JJ asked this question, because Tara was aware that if she allowed herself to stay the night she might start getting too attached. She knew that getting attached meant one or both of them would end up with a broken heart and Tara wanted to avoid that possibility at all costs.

So, she said goodnight and she went home. Tara rolled her eyes when her phone chimed the same moment she stepped into her apartment. JJ knew it took Tara eighteen minutes to get home without traffic and she had a way of texting exactly when Tara was walking through her front door.

[Thanks for dinner. Let me know you made it home]  sent at 00:05

[Or if you've been abducted by an unsub, let me know that too so I can kick their ass] sent at 00:05

[Love you!] sent at 00:07

Tara chuckled while she read the messages, her eyes lingering on the final one. She sent JJ confirmation she had arrived home, safe and unharmed, then headed to bed. Not that she would be able to sleep, she rarely got to sleep easily after spending time with JJ. She tossed and turned for another hour or so, while she tried to clear her head of the sound of JJ's voice. She was grateful when her exhaustion finally won out, forcing her into a deep sleep.