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When did it begin? They have been dating for 3 years now and it will be their 4th anniversary soon - but Hijikata's doubting they'll be able to keep this relationship floating until then.
To be fair they didn't actually set a date for their anniversary, since both men (homos as what the kids say) were so distracted with being together they forgot when their relationship even started, but no one gives a shit about that.
The problem right now,is that perm headed bastard.
Hijikata feels a vein pop as he tries to understand the permhead's actions for the past 2 months. Prior to those months their relationship went pretty smoothly. They had little dates together at that cafe he always went to, ate his favorite parfaits using Hijikata's money, they went to see the cherry blossom festival with everyone, he even went skiing with the idiot and his kids just a while ago and yet. Now it was different.
Hijikata could feel it and it was weighing on his skin (is that how love works?), as if his heart was pricked by a blunt needle. Gintoki's change wasn't sudden so to speak, rather it was slow and slightly unnoticeable, but the day he felt the change was when the perm completely stopped insisting on him for things like staying over or reminding him to lay low on the smoking. During the first few days he didn't think of it much, but as the days went on,his pestering subsided to the point of stopping.
like a few weeks ago when Hijikata had to go back to the Barracks earlier than usual he didn't react with a grunt or whine like he used to, and just uttered a simple "okay take care" and walked back inside his room. That was when the policeman felt the first prick brought by insecurity
A month passed after that and Hijikata noticed Gintoki no longer visiting him at night in his room at the Barracks like he used to. When meeting at their favorite bar Gintoki is a lot more silent, they had small talk but not like how it was before - hell the idiot even paid for his order, like he was a different person, and after their drink Gintoki doesn't ask him to come over anymore, instead he offers to take him back to the Barracks and simply bids him good night, not even one kiss insight
Hijikata contemplated on what he did wrong, he thought maybe it was because of that time, he had to focus on work for two weeks straight without contact so the sweet tooth selfishly started sulking. But this seemed to not be the case, because when he tried to make it up to the idiot by inviting him to go on a two day trip to the hot springs - he was rejected. Provided with an excuse of being busy with work, when he doesn't even have a job and is the laziest permhead in Kabukichou.
And this time is no different as Hijikata tries once more to ask his boyfriend a second time.
"That's your excuse?"
"Sorry. The lady by the docks called asking me to repair her roof again so I can't"
"Then the day after-"
"Do government dogs have that much free time? " Gintoki starts with a seemingly insulting yet charming smirk on his face.
Hijikata shrugs "Look I'm sorry about the past week I wasn't in contact with you. I know your mad at me so I wanted to make it up by-"
Hijikata couldn't finish what he was saying as Gintoki suddenly placed his hand on his shoulder and said "its fine" patting him twice.
"we're here" Gintoki motioned his head to the entryway of the Shinsengumi headquarters.
The moon had already replaced the sun a long time ago, shining brightly over the city of Edo. There was no one else outside the vicinity - just the two of them standing in front of the Barracks doors. It was one of those days when they'd gone on their unplanned date at the old bar.
Instead of going to the Yorozuya like the old days, Gintoki has made it a habit to accompany Hijikata back to his place, at first the policeman appreciated the gesture, but then it became annoying and worrying to say the least. As questions kept coming up his head.
Their nights making out in back alleys, nights when Gintoki would invite him to his home and hold him in his arms felt like an illusion now. He couldn't reach for his hand even if he wanted to, because it was like Gintoki was putting up a barrier between them - again. Gintoki was about to leave until Hijikata pulled his kimono and stopped him from making another step.
The raven gritted his teeth. He felt so heavy, they used to have mutual understanding, just going on instinct and one single glance he'd know what the man was thinking - what he wanted to say but couldn't...but now he doesn't know anymore. He kept repeating the same question…Why was he acting this way.
"Are you tired of me now?" the words tasted bitter coming from his mouth. It was the one question he always pondered on. He was afraid to say it before but now that the man was being like this it made him feel insecure and doubtful.
Gintoki didn't react at first, taking time to slowly analyze the question, he drank a few bottles earlier but not to the point of getting drunk, yet, Hijikata's question made him doubt his thoughts, arguing with his conscience that "it's just a hallucination,the love of my life isn't actually looking at me like he's about to cry, damn I really must be drunk"
His uncertainty became real when he felt a hand grip a bit too hard on his kimono and Hijikata speaking again.
" Why aren't you saying anything... If you're tired of me, why don't you just say it! " his hands that grabbed onto Gintoki's hem was trembling. His words were filled with sadness. Something Gintoki regretted ever hearing coming out of his mouth
"Who said I was tired of you." This was not a question. The silver perm reaches out to touch his lover's face. Teary-eyed Hijikata looks at him eyes filled with confusion
"You... isn't it obvious!" out of anger Hijikata pushes Gintoki away, but still, tightly holding on to his kimono "Why are you like this then?" voice filled with rage his hands squeezes tighter creating wrinkles onto Gintoki's shirt
"You're drunk Hijikata, why don't you let me go first-
From the words "let me go"yanks Hijikata envisions Gintoki looking at him with emotionless eyes detached with any affection, causing him to grit his teeth eve harder and out of pure anger yanks Gintoki's collar and kisses him with such aggression it would leave a few bruise to their lips.
Perplexed by the sudden kiss Gintoki unintentionally pushes him too hard making him stumble to the ground. The action surprised both men instantly as one was still processing the occurring situation while the other one was thinking his kiss wasn't wanted (how complicated can this relationship be).
"See ... you don't even want to kiss me, if that's not it then what is" Hijikata was tired, he no longer had the strength to deal with the man in front of him. If Gintoki was going to end everything he'd rather hear it while looking at the floor rather than the idiot's face.
Gintoki was honestly feeling sober, but what he's seeing, he compared it to a dream. He has never seen Hijikata acting this way. He felt furious, how can the man he loves with all his heart feel this way. He wanted to question him, ask why he suddenly thought of such nonsense and suddenly it hit him - his actions these past few months, the gestures he gave...
oh, he gets it now.
As Hijikata stayed motionless by his feet, Gintoki kneels down and takes his lover's left hand, locking it with his, Gintoki kisses Hijikata's knuckles and shifts his eyes to gaze at the raven haired man, the man he fell head over heels in love with even though he was a mayora and a smoke addict whose eyes were now wet from the tears that fell like a fountain.
Crystal blue eyes like Sapphire diamond glimmered in the dim light radiated by the moon. Gintoki loved staring at his eyes, he'd do it everyday if possible. Silence engulfed the two and Gintoki couldn't help but voice out his inner feelings as he gazed into the deep blue, something he's never said to anyone in his life.
"I love you"
Over the course of their relationship, both men have never said this word to the other. They may have said it in their thoughts a million times but never through word of mouth, because they're stubborn like that, they will never say it even if it kills them, but that was when they weren't entirely sure about the seriousness of their relationship. Now for Gintoki it felt like he was fine with conceding his pride for his feelings. If it's to show his partner how he truly feels then that's fine with him.
So this time it's Gintoki who takes the first step and says the words again. He looks at Hijikata waiting for his response. Whether in a violent or confused way - hoping he'd say it too.
Hijikata's eyes widened for a moment, then turned watery. He bent his head down and tears crept out of his eyes again.
"You're lying."
Gintoki touches their foreheads together and pulls him close to a hug. "I love you ... I'm sorry I made you feel lonely these days. But I want you to know that I'll never get tired of you. I love you so much Toushirou "
As Gintoki tightened his hold, Hijikata reciprocated, still weeping, burying his head on Gintoki's neck.
"You don't visit me anymore... when I invited you... to the hot springs... you rejected me... you don't even invite me to your apartment anymore ... I... I thought..." Hijikata grabs onto his lover even tighter causing his nails to bleed.
"You no longer want to be with me."
Gintoki hugs back trying to ease his partner's trembling, he pats Hijikata's back a few times and caresses him as gently and lovingly as he can.
"That will never happen... I will always be by your side. I won't ever leave you. I'm sorry for my actions I didn't visit because I didn't want to be a bother, I didn't want to reject your invitation I actually wanted to go, but I had something to do these days, I've been accepting quite a few jobs lately because I wanted to buy you something with my money." Gintoki loosens his hold to wipe off Hijikata's tears, and gives him a gentle kiss
" And I would never get tired of kissing you. I was just surprised. " He blushes and puts on a sultry smile, which he knows is one of Hijikata's most favorite things in the world aside from mayonnaise and cigarettes. Hijikata calmed down after that as they kissed under the moonlight
3 weeks have passed since that godforsaken day, Hijikata curls under his blanket cringing from his actions while he recalled his memories
"God damnit, how embarrassing."
A hand slides between his abs and he gets pulled right into the arms of his still groggy after sleep of a permhead.
"Morning..." with morning breath Hijikata replies with a kiss and a quiet "morning" Gintoki offers him a huge smile in delight.
"Still thinking about that time you cried under the moonlight?"
"Are you asking for a fight right now?"
"A kiss would be better"
Hijikata smacks him lightly " shut up"
"For the record that time I rejected you, was me being considerate"
"Hah? What do you mean?"
Gintoki pauses for a while and averts his eyes from afar, then his gaze turns back to the raven pouting and looking at him with a serious face. Cute.
"Let's go back to four months ago shall we"
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"Just say it right now. The author's to lazy to come up with additional dialogues" Hijikata interrupts (no. your just impatient vice- chief)
"Tsk what a party pooper, we could've added more scenes you know!"
"Shut up and just tell it to me straight Gintoki"
With his name being boldly called like that, Gintoki sighs, and turns on his back now looking at the ceiling with his arms folded under his head as a pillow.
" You asked for me to stop being too clingy."
" Don't I always do?" Hijikata stares at his side profile
" Yeah, but that time you were quite angry and I was being really annoying...
"I don't remember this, you're always annoying though.
" this was before your 2 weeks overtime"
" So I was right you got mad because of that"
" Not really mad, I was sulking at first, planned to go see you three days after that and demand for you to buy me a parfait, but when I saw how tired you were, well... thought I'd be considerate in not being a bother and lay low for a bit. " He looks back to Hijikata again and melts from the beauty he emitted " Turns out that was a pretty bad move. Sorry I made you feel that way, I won't ever do it again. "
" You better not. "
Hijikata pinches his cheeks a tad too hard making him whimper jokingly. Now that the misunderstanding has subsided they're finally spending alone time at the hot springs Hijikata had planned for them since the previous month. They were lucky enough to avail since the coupons lasted for at least 6 months.
Happily spending time lying on the futon with their limbs entwined together, Gintoki remembers the gift he bought with his hard work for his darling Toshi
'don't call me that '
" Oh yeah I have something to give you" Gintoki removes himself off the futon and goes to their luggage to come back bringing with him a small box
" Toushirou could you stand up for a sec? ". Hijikata was stunned for a while, but initially stood up, while Gintoki proceeded to kneel
" No way... wait" Hijikata protested
" W-what you... ah is it a no? " Gintoki looks at him in horror. as if he wasn't expecting to be rejected seeing as they obviously love each other
" No no it's not that -- WE'RE NAKED! " He exclaimed.
In all honesty, it wasn't the type of situation where someone would propose, with Hijikata still spilling cum from his ass all thanks to their ordeal last night. He felt they should at least wear something first or go wash up.
" I don't care I want you to be mine as soon as possible " He continued to kneel - opening the little box, inside was a pair of rings not so extravagant in decor but it was made with the intent for a couple to be married.Hijikata wanted to rebut saying "I'm already yours" still he complies with a sigh and stays standing in front of his soon to be spouse (cause its obviously a yes).
Gintoki sets the mood by clearing his throat slightly to ease his voice and declares.
"Toushirou. Marry me" more of a demand than a question
"You sure? I might never let you go"
Gintoki smirks mischievously "Sure, you can even chain me to you, we haven't tried bdsm yet anyways"
Hijikata laughs at this, but unwaveringly presents his hand wearing the most beautiful smile Gintoki has ever seen.
"When should I move in?"