Chapter Text
Leo regrets a lot of things. Like arguing with Raph so much since Dad made him leader. Like making Donnie have to break up their fights. Like Mikey’s look of utter hurt when he tries his best to make a compromise between them only to get yelled at to step aside.
He doesn’t know why he’s acted like this for the past two years. Why everything makes him defensive and upset. In hindsight, he was being so stupid. All of it was his fault for being stubborn and not listening to any of his brothers. For hiding behind his stupid facade and hiding how truly terrified he was that he would mess everything up.
If he had just listened to his brothers, maybe Leo wouldn’t be stuck in a prison dimension for all eternity…or until he dies. Donnie and Mikey were right, they should’ve turned back. And Raph was right, that Leo shouldn’t have rushed in and maybe the apocalypse never would have even started.
But despite it all, he doesn’t regret being stuck here. He doesn’t regret his sacrifice, and he doesn’t regret the cold emptiness that surrounds him.
Okay, he regrets it, sue him. Leo doesn’t even try to wipe away his silent tears, just clutching onto the one thing he has left from home. His brothers, his dad, and April are clutched to his chest, and he’s so afraid that if he lets go, they’ll be gone.
A short burst of ironic laughter bubbles from Leo’s throat, and he dips his head down to try to stem the tears. A whole universe separates him from his family, they’re already gone. This little picture from the future does nothing to keep him from drifting farther and farther through the void. At least they’re safe. The farther he is from them, the safer they are.
Leo’s shell collides with something hard, and his breath stutters. One hand blindly reaches out to grasp something, so that maybe he won’t spend all of eternity floating until nothing remains except him and the cold. But the sharp, jagged metal cuts him when he reaches out, and he gasps as his hand slices open. Red follows him as he continues to float, slowed down by the short collision.
Leo hurts all over, but that’s what happens when a crazy Krang in an alien mech beats every ounce of fight left in him out. The cut’s sting is a welcome distraction from the constant ache, and the brightness of his blood reawakens something in him. Maybe it’s this dimension, or maybe Leo is just already succumbing to his fate, but it’s almost as if the color is drained from him. His skin and markings less vibrant in the dull hue surrounding him. The blood is harsh and stark against Leo’s grayed skin.
What if he forgets what color looks like one day?
The bright hue of his leaking wound hurts his eyes, so he shuts his eyes and lets exhaustion take him. Leo’s limbs go limp at his side, minus the deathly grip he has on his future picture. Maybe he can get a little sleep to ease the pain away.
So Leo drifts, with so many regrets, yet none about this, and that’s all he can do. As at peace as an alive dead man can be.
And it comes very much by surprise to awaken slowly to the sensation of vines dragging him through the nothingness into warmth, gently crashing into arms and their embrace—and when he blearily opens his eyes, his little brother staring down at him with a teary smile on his face.
Mikey wakes up with the sun, even if natural sunlight doesn’t reach down into the subway tunnels. His family still doesn’t understand how he does it, but Mikey just rolls with it. He stretches his limbs with a yawn before getting up to get his gear on. He isn’t in a rush to get his day started, but a feeling in his chest still nags at him that he should get up. Enjoy the day while…while he can.
The box turtle doesn’t even attempt to be quiet like he used to when sneaking into the kitchen early. No one is around to be woken up anyways. The only reason he had slept in his old room was because Mikey and his dad were hanging out into the long hours of the evening, and by some miracle, Pops had gotten him tucked into his old bed after Mikey had passed out at some point during their chat. It warms his heart that his old man still tried, even though Mikey knows how bad Splinter’s back has been lately, even by his standards. His dad did always love tucking them into bed when the boys were little.
Leaving his room, Mikey stares at Leo’s car across from his. It’s practically the same as it was. While Mikey, Donnie, and Raph’s rooms are emptier, remnants of their childhood remain. For the inevitable moment when he and his brothers return home and don’t want to leave just yet, Splinter keeps their rooms in order. The lair is quiet now without a bunch of teenage turtles running around and causing trouble. And Leo’s room….
Mikey steps into the doorway and smiles at the sight. Dad told him that Raph had come by the other day, and the new unicorn plushie on Leo’s bed was all the evidence. Raph couldn’t help but buy one every time one crossed his vision, and to leave it in Leo’s honor. Mikey walks up to the newest unicorn and picks it up, smiling at the little blue ribbon tied to its horn.
Gently, he sets the unicorn back in its place. “They’re just keeping it cozy for when you get back, Leo. And it’ll be soon, I promise,” Mikey whispers to the empty room with a soft smile.
The orange-banded turtle turns away from the room and takes a deep breath, preparing himself for the day. Concentrating, Mikey waves his hands and creates a shimmering orange portal, then leaps through it into Draxum’s place. More specifically: Draxum’s bedroom.
The portal closes behind Mikey, taking away the only source of light in the room. Draxum is still very asleep in his bed, but that doesn’t deter him. Mikey rolls back onto his heels, then leans forward with a grin and shouts, “Morning, Draxibald!”
The yokai grunts and shoots a fist out, intending to hit Michelangelo, but the turtle tilts out of the way while still bouncing on his feet.
“Oh, come on, I know you can do better. Plus, how do you still not have an alarm clock? I only do this, like, once a week,” Mikey taunts, watching the yokai turn over in his bed to glare at who woke him up. “If you meet me in the magic room in twenty, I’ll make you my peanut butter banana french toast!”
Mikey bounds out of the room before Draxum can try to hit him again. It’s a smart move, too, because Mikey can hear the yokai grumbling about stupid turtles who can’t call rooms by their proper names. It isn’t anything Mikey hasn’t heard before. The box turtle walks through Draxum’s to the so-called magic room and sits on one of the floor cushions waiting for this occasion. And soon enough, Draxum walks into the room with a half-hearted scowl, his graying hair tied into a loose bun.
“Do we have to keep doing this? I’ve already told you that there isn’t much more I can teach you,” Draxum complains, but he still sits down in front of Mikey.
The turtle nods. “Yeah, I know, Draxy. It’s just…I gotta try again,” Mikey replies earnestly.
That makes the yokai pause, and Draxum’s face mellows out into an understanding and sad frown. Mikey’s fists clench in anticipation for what the man will say.
Draxum sighs. “Michelangelo—”
“No!” Mikey interrupts. “I-I know you’re gonna say it’s pointless, but I have to try. If Leo is out there, and I can save him—”
“If saving is even an option after all these years—”
“Even if it isn’t! I just need to try, to just—”
“—find nothing? Open a portal, potentially let the Krang loose, and make your brother’s sacrifice meaningless?”
Mikey glares at Draxum, growling lowly under his breath. The yokai’s eyes widen, then Draxum sighs, rubbing his face tiredly.
“I’m sorry,” his mentor apologizes. “The likelihood of your brother being alive is just, near impossible. And is reopening that wound worth it for only a chance to confirm his death? I know how hard it was for you to accept Leo’s sacrifice when it was fresh.”
Mikey softens ever so slightly, but he still sits defensively with his arms crossed. “I’m not a kid anymore, and we both know that. If Leo is really…dead even after I try, then at least I’ll know. My brother’s already been gone for so long, I’ve…gotten used to it.”
The sad wave that comes and goes when he thinks of his brother in blue resurfaces, and Mikey has to push down the doubts that flood his head because of what Draxum thinks. Of what even his brothers and April think. That Leo is gone for good, and there’s nothing they can do. But Mikey, he’s Mikey. He’s the optimistic one! The one who sees good even when it’s almost impossible to.
“I never said I thought you were a child,” Draxum tries to placate, using his slightly condescending tone that drives Mikey up a wall.
Mikey hums in sarcastic agreement. “Mhmm, sure. I try to find the good in a very, very bad situation, and you just assume I’m too young to handle reality. Didja forget who set you straight as a preteen, Draxibald?”
Draxum can only look away in shame. Mikey stops fighting back and stands up from his seat.
“I get it, okay? I know how unlikely it is for me to even make a portal to the prison dimension in the first place, let alone find Leo alive. I’ll stop after this, alright? But Leo, he…he never gave up on me. So I can’t give up on him,” Mikey pleads, a fire in his eyes that he has fought tooth and nail to keep.
His family didn’t take Leo’s sacrifice well. It took a while for them to all get to some new form of normal, and Michelangelo wasn’t always optimistic. And every attempt to make a portal that failed, crushed him even more. So, Mikey isn’t some dumb kid who doesn’t know any better. He knows.
So, one last time. For Leo. And then he can let it rest.
Draxum shakes his head but stands up anyways, crossing his arms over his chest. “You turtles are stubborn, you know that? This will be the hardest thing you ever do.”
The hardest thing Mikey had ever done was lose his brother, but he doesn’t voice it. The orange-clad turtle nods resolutely, and readjusts his stance. He wipes his sweaty and shaking palms on his pants, painfully aware of the movement of his beaded bracelet, one Leo had made for him after everything went down with Shredder when they were all still struggling in their new home.
“All of your mystic energy is going to go into this. Channel it into your goal: finding Leonardo. I don’t need to remind you of all people, but your emotions are your strength. Use that insanely unbeatable optimism of yours, and you have a chance,” Draxum coaches, moving off to the side.
Michelangelo takes a deep breath, and he thinks about Leo.
When his brother would read him stories to help him sleep. Leo showing Mikey how to draw a picture and sitting with him even when Mikey took all the good crayons. Giving him piggy back rides. Believing in everything Mikey ever did, encouraging him even if Leo saw it was a disaster from a mile away. Protecting him. Loving him.
Locking himself away in a hellish prison dimension for him.
His hands glow bright orange as he grasps the space around him, ripping time and space apart with only love for his big brother pushing him forwards. Mikey’s hands shake as he grunts, pushing his magic harder and harder.
Leo’s humor, Leo’s smile, Leo’s hugs, Leo’s songs…Leo.
Mikey can feel the tears drip down his face, all of his grief and love pouring into the universe as an orange circle widens and widens. He’s trembling, but the gray nothingness expands as his portal opens, and—!
“Holy shit,” Draxum exclaims at the same time Mikey laughs in astonishment because omigosh, his brother is right there.
Draxum snatches one of his cocoons from his robe and sends vines careening into the prison dimension. Mikey wants to collapse on the ground in relief when the vines wrap around his brother’s body and start to pull him back home. The moment Leo is mostly out of the portal, Mikey rushes to him and pulls him the rest of the way out, letting Draxum’s vines release his brother into Mikey’s waiting arms.
Mikey readjusts his brother, holding him more securely in his grip so that he never has to let go again. He’s grinning like a maniac, watching as his brother opens his eyes and blinks back at Mikey. This is happening, this is actually happening!
“Leo?” Mikey asks quietly, his voice excited yet choked up.
Leo blinks again, refocusing his eyes onto his little brother, and cracks a tired smile. “Took you long enough.”
He knows it’s a joke, it’s one of the things he missed the most about Leo. But hearing that specific line, after he finally managed to rescue his best friend, it breaks him. Mikey crumbles under the weight of it, bringing Leo even closer and burying his face into his older brother’s neck. He sobs, letting out every emotion he tried his best not to bottle up over the years. He failed, at being optimistic, at being the glue to hold his family together, at everything. Except this.
Except this wonderful success.
Mikey’s hands are shaking from the magic use and his overwhelming emotions, but it lessens when he feels Leo wrap his arms around him in return. The box turtle can only cry harder, beginning to wail in his older brother’s arms. His hold on his brother tightens because he still can’t believe that this is real, and Leo grunts from the pressure.
“I’m sorry,” Mikey cries. He doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for, but it feels like everything.
Leo readjusts his grip on his brother. “Miguel…what are you apologizing for? You know I was joking, right? You really didn’t take that long,” Leo replies. “Sorry, maybe a joke was a bad idea.”
Mikey freezes at Leo’s words. Slowly, Mikey unfurls himself from his brother’s hold, pushing his arms out so that he’s gripping Leo’s shoulders. His brother stares at him in confusion at the ended hug, and Leo moves his hands up to gently hold Mikey’s wrist.
“Mikey? What’s…what’s wrong?” Leo questions innocently.
Draxum clears his throat from where he stands off to the side, and it makes the brothers startle at the sudden noise. Leo’s face scrunches up in surprise and confusion to see the yokai. Draxum walks over to them and kneels down in front of the turtles, resting a hand on Leo’s shoulder.
“Leonardo, how long were you in the prison dimension,” Draxum asks slowly.
Mikey knows Draxum noticed the problem first, but now that Mikey is really staring at his long-lost brother, it all starts piecing itself together. He watches as his brother’s gaze flits between the two of them, his eyes surprisingly bright and aware despite being gone for so long. His injuries are new, and the scars lining his brother’s shell and limbs are old ones Mikey remembers from their childhood. And Leo feels…small, lanky…like a teenager….
Leo opens his mouth, then closes it before responding with, “Like…like an hour?”
Mikey’s jaw goes slack, causing him to taste the salt from the tears that accidentally drip into his mouth. His hands reflexively go to cover his mouth in shock, and they continue to shake. Leo’s hands drop into his lap, and Mikey notices the picture from Casey held tightly in his grip, barely worn except for some extra creasing.
“Leo,” Mikey whispers, and he can see his brother’s eyes widen as everything clicks into place.
Leo’s eyes frantically rake over Mikey’s appearance, then move over to Draxum’s, lingering on the yokai’s very prominent gray hairs and subtle wrinkles on his face.
Leo gulps. “How long,” he breathes out shakily.
Mikey ducks his head before he responds, trying to compose himself. When he meets Leo’s eyes, the red-eared slider is trembling.
“Six years.”
And that’s when Leo passes out.