Chapter Text
“Is it Tuesday or Thursday ?” Kaeya deliriously wonders, tripping through a bush.
He’s been awake for twenty-eight hours and counting.
He had received an anonymous tip - which had turned out to be from one of the Liyue’s Treasure Hoarders factions. Their chief had been quite mad at the leader of Mondstadt’s faction for straight-up stealing one of her ideas and striking a deal with her reseller behind her back - which meant Kaeya had to run around Mondstadt and the Stone Gate to verify the claims.
Which is how he ended up staging a stakeout on the border of Stormterror’s Lair the night before to see, that yes, the poor idiots were here to establish a camp to rob travelers who were on their way to sell their wares in Liyue, and especially to target shipments of Dawn Winery’s products.
All of that work was yesterday.
Well. Maybe some of it was today ?
“Is it yesterday or today if I haven’t slept yet ?”
Anyway, the problem was now taken care of ; most Treasure Hoarders were arrested and currently under the care of Eula’s Reconnaissance Team (good thing he sent Amber to get her, he wouldn’t have been able to escort a dozen of prisoners all by himself in that state) and the ones that escaped had been taught a lesson that will certainly dissuade them from trying to set up that kind of shit in Mondstadt again.
Kaeya is pretty sure his blood is more caffeine and the weird Jueyun Chili concoction he pilfered from Barbara than blood, but he’s fine.
(Alive. He’s alive. He hasn’t been fine in years.)
He’s got a nasty bruise on his hip, though. Courtesy of a shovel-wielding hoarder. Seriously, who the heck fights with a shovel ??? No one with an ounce of class. A shovel ! Go dig some turnips, not fight !
Now, as he stumbles his way back to Mondstadt, dreading the reports he will have to draft on top of all the paperwork that must have accumulated during his brief mission, the blue-haired man is starting to feel the lack of sleep catching up to him.
Whatever. It’s not his first rodeo.
Hah. Rodeo. For a Cavalry Captain, get it ?
Gods, he needs to sleep.
Nevermind the fact that he ran headfirst into this mess partly because the night two days ago - the last time he slept - he woke up with a scream dying in his throat and memories of the Cataclysm flashing behind his eyelid.
It’s fine. He can deal with it, he’s got a method and all.
And if that method involves having one more empty bottle of wine littering his kitchen… Well, that’s no one’s concern but his.
Yeah, wine sounds like a good idea right now. A little pick-me-up before he has to drown his last shred of sanity into ink and blotting paper. It may be, like, 3p.m right now, but no one had the right to judge him after the day he had.
Week he had.
(Life he had.)
He smiles and waves at the citizens across the streets as he makes his way back into Monstadt, Wagner ignoring the stares, Katheryne explaining commissions to some bright-eyed new Adventurers, Donna and Flora stocking up new products on the stand - huh, so it’s Thursday after all.
No one looks twice at him or expresses concern ; after all, he’s long mastered the art of skin-care to avoid having to explain too many deep, dark bruises under his eye. Quite a handy trick that Jean taught him, that one. That, coupled with his signature smile bordering on a smirk, means he’s sure to not be bothered unless he’s bleeding out in the middle of the street.
(And even then, he sometimes wonders if anyone would care.)
Smirk plastered on his face, he pushes the door of the tavern open.
—---------
The speed with which the red-haired bartender’s expression goes from “Polite but bored” to “Seething with barely contained anger and absolute disdain” is somewhat impressive.
Would be even more so if Kaeya wasn’t the one at the end of said glare.
Briefly, he considers turning around and going to get wasted at Cat’s Tail instead. Alas, Crepus didn’t raise no quitter
(just a traitor)
and so he widens his smile as he approaches the counter.
“Why, if it isn’t Master Diluc ! A pleasure to meet you here tonight !”
“It’s two in the afternoon,” the bartender deadpans.
“Details,” Kaeya shrugs. “A Death After Noon, if you will.”
Diluc glares even harder. Wow, he didn’t even think it was even possible.
“Are you only here to waste my time and antagonize me ? You know very well Death After Noon isn’t in season right now. Or are you such a useless drunkard that you forgot ?”
Whoops. He did, in fact, forget.
“My, my, no need for such animosity ! I was merely jesting. Truly, in fact, I - “
“Sir Kaeya, I’m in no mood to deal with your nonsense today. Kindly get out before I have to push you myself,” Diluc growls.
“Hey, is that how you treat paying customers ?” Kaeya mutters, getting annoyed at being treated like that. He just wanted a drink ! He deserves one after all his hard work !
The bartender takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly, a frown still marring his face.
“I really do not have the time nor the patience for this today. I have to re-do inventory before Charles’s shift because apparently there was a mistake in the last shipment and we’re missing several products. Either you buy a drink to go or you just leave,” and then he adds as an afterthought: “Please.”
“Oh, c’mon, can’t you make an exception for your dear baby brother ?”
“I don’t see anyone fitting that description anywhere in the vicinity,” Diluc said.
“So grumpy… No wonder Klee calls you a ‘Weird grown-up’,” pouts Kaeya.
“Are you fucking buying something or not?!” Diluc asks exasperatedly, arms raised as if he’s praying to Barbatos to end his suffering right now. Kaeya is pretty sure he saw Venti taking a nap outside earlier, though, so it’s unlikely the bartender will get what he wants.
“Language,” Kaeya chides. “I doubt Father would be happy to hear you use such vulgar language in the tavern.”
Now that gets the redhead to quiet down at once.
Unfortunately, it’s an angry silence.
“You do not get to call him that,” his estranged brother finally says after a long minute of tense silence.
“Oh, am I not allowed to ? Do you want me to stop ? What if I don’t ?”
“You - “
“Are you going to disown me ? Oh, wait, been there done that. Or take your claymore out ? Well, I guess it’s already been done too.”
“Get out.”
“Ooooh, so scary ! The Uncrowned King of Mondstadt does not like to have his flaws pointed out, does he ?”
“GET OUT ! I have work to do, and you’re just being a pain in the ass right now,” Diluc huffs, crossing his arms.
“Ugh, fine ! I’m going, I’m going ! I’m sure I can find better company somewhere else. Someone who will appreciate my true worth.”
“What worth? I only see a drunkard complaining,” Diluc snidely tacks on.
“Oh, fuck off !” Kaeya scoffs. “I hope you fall in a Mitachurl’s turd !”
“Wow, so mature. You’re really an outstanding member of the Knights of Favonius. I bet Jean is very proud of you.”
“I bet I could convince Jean to throw you in Cider Lake.”
“She would throw you first for skimping on work.”
“Would not !”
“Would too !”
“FINE ! I’m leaving !” Kaeya snarls.
And with a slam of the door that must have been heard even all the way to the Favonius Headquarters, the Cavalry Captain exits Angel’s Share.
—---------
Kaeya is already past Springvale when he finally slows down.
And sways a little.
Okay, so maybe storming off from Mondstadt altogether in exasperated rage while he was already feeling faint before was not quite a great idea.
Still, it’s better than having to be anywhere near Diluc at the moment.
He knows things between them are… tense, at best, and downright antagonistic in a more realistic way, but still.
Childish banter is one thing. That was a new level of pettiness.
Kaeya is not sure what came over him to throw all that at his ex-brother’s face. Honestly, he deserved to get kicked out like that. He was being an insufferable brat.
He should’ve accepted to buy something quick to drink, and left immediately after. But if it’s not Death After Noon, it’s not really worth it… Dandelion wine alone does not work as well to relax him.
Archons, he’s ridiculous. He can just wait and go back to work without drinking, then. Diluc is right, he’s skimping on his work right now. That’s not what a good member of the Knights of Favonius should be doing.
…Is he even a good member of the Knights ? Sometimes he feels as if he’s only there because he’s Jean’s childhood friend. Like he’s a parasite leeching off her. Didn’t a Treasure Hoarder call him that yesterday..?
…It cuts. Deep. Because it may be the truth.
Kaeya is a parasite.
He’s a useless, evil little spawn that encroached on Dawn Winery and sucked out all its good things, starting with Crepus’ love and Diluc’s trust, and in the end, all it did for them was cause them sorrow.
He knows he was - still is, sometimes - useless, not good enough, that his replacement of Diluc as Cavalry Captain was simply because they were already short-staffed and Varka didn’t want to have to train someone else when Kaeya already knew the basics, that he was never, and will never, be as good as his brother ever was, that deep down - and out loud for some recruits - he’s just a stain on the Ordo Favonius’ reputation, and when the times comes for him to answers Khaenri’ah calls, no matter what he wants, he will makes it worse somehow.
Fuck. He went from rightful anger to pitiful sadness way too fast. He should’ve really gotten that drink earlier…
He slows down as Drunkard’s Gorge gets closer.
Maybe he could try to apologize to Diluc ? It was kinda his fault for annoying him… Perhaps he could pick some grape juice and wait at the Winery… It would probably anger him even more, though. Pity, he’d loved to chat a bit with Adelinde and Elzer, but his strained relationship with the Winery’s master tends to make it harder on his employees when they show anything close to cordiality to the despised, disowned ex-brother.
Garbled, maniacal laughter throws him out of his self-reflecting ; and despite his wavering reflexes, Kaeya is quick to summon his sword and turn on the new menace.
A cryo abyss mage is tormenting some poor electro slime for unknown but certainly nefarious reasons not too far from the road.
Well, a good fight always does wonders to cheer him up, right after a drink. Plus, this close to the road, this little fucker could attack some innocent passerby, and, as a Captain of the Knights of Favonius, it’s his duty to uphold Mondstadt’s security.
Cryo against cryo is, however, quite the drag.
The mage shrieks, and laughs, and shrieks some more as Kaeya slams his sword again and again to crack the shield, deftly avoiding the few icicles summoned his way.
“Stupid, stupid human ! You’re not going to beat m - Gaah !”
He throws a burst of ice to the mage’s face as the latter teleports a few meters away, blinding him for a second. It’s more than enough for him to blink behind, and stab the shield through its cracks, destroying it and sending the evil creature staggering in the grass.
“Sorry not sorry, monsters always lose,” the blue-haired man smirks, pointing his sword at the now defenseless mage. “Any last words ? If you give me some very good intel on the Abyss order’s plans, I might let you live. Or at least not torture you.”
“Foolish !” the mage shrieks. “We will never betray the Abyss ! Not like you, traitor ! We - “
And it does not finish its sentence, because Kaeya skewers it in one precise, fatal, final motion. And if his hands are trembling, that’s another product of his lack or sleep, or lack of alcohol, or -
Oh, who is he kidding ? He can’t do this anymore.
Can’t fool himself, can’t fool others anymore.
He’s actively shaking now, and it’s not something a single glass of Death After Noon can help with. A whole bottle, maybe ? But still, it’s a temporary solution, in the end.
Unless the probability of him dying before thirty due to liver failure counts as a long term solution, which yes, but there are easier ways to die, really -
Something catches his eye from his peripheral vision, and his grimace turns into a maniacal grin of his own.
Easier ways to die, yeah. But when has he ever done things the easy way ?
He heads south, to the floating pillar half hidden behind clouds and the never-melting snows.
The monster always loses, and he’s going to lose on his own terms.
—---------
The cold feels pure, somehow.
Purifying, even.
Like it could clean all his sins.
Perhaps he feels so at ease here since it is the grave of a lost civilization wiped out by Celestia’s impenetrable might.
What an appropriate place for someone like him to disappear for good.
His jacket is cold.
Everything is cold.
He does not remember lying down. Maybe he fell ? No matter the reason, he’s now on his back in the snow.
Snowflakes dance over him, a whimsical ballet in the sky.
Beautiful.
His last thought, before he blacks out, is to hope his presence will not stain the white blanket of snow.