Chapter Text
Misa was going to kill her. Except no, she wasn't: the author-via-Misa would kill her, if anyone. Did Misa exist, either way? Well, the not-actually Anna Jones had said something about characters doing what they did, et cetera et cetera no Anna you have to instigate the sexytimes yourself. Either way, this revelation on Misa's murder status came as part of her musing on whatever the Author wanted.
What Misa wanted, however, was to date Light. What Anna wanted was to not die. What did L and Light want? If the Author was controlling them completely, then- dear god- they wanted Anna Jones in sexytimes. This, however, didn't appear to have happened yet, or at very least required heavy instigation on her part. What the Author wanted: SIxLight and SIxL action, per her monologue.
What she had happening with Light was clearly not enough SIxLight action. Did there need to be more? Dear god, did it need to become explicit? Or did there need to also be- Anna gagged a little- SIxL action?
But we couldn't just leap into that, no. We'd need some added drama. Was Misa to be her romantic rival? If so, would she also end up fighting Anna over L's tender affections? Or was there to be another source of interpersonal conflict regarding L's sweet love? What possible female character could pop out of the woodwork?
Thinking through it, there was Naomi Misora, who could have that mentor-mentee angle going on. They'd met each other in the past, how adorable. Kiyoma Takada, but she was more of a Light-side romantic rival. Still, though, enemies to lovers, that discount-Kira angle? They could bond over their creepy obsessions. Halle Lidner, of the Near team, and any connection there was honestly very vague. Wedy, the catburglar infiltrator? Other female characters- this show had distressingly few. Sayu? Anna really, really hoped it wasn't Sayu. Sachiko, maybe? A completely out-of-left-field OC? Very possibly.
She was not stirring up enough drama on her own. She did not have the emotional capacity to. She simply could not, absent hysterical breakdowns and suddenly-developed nervous disorders, which were always a viable option to keep in reserve! But the fact of the matter was that it would be much easier on her if she could get another person to create intrigue.
Anna let her head thunk down on the keyboard and screamed.
"Yes, Anna?" said Light, ever the dutiful boyfriend.
L, asshole that he was, looked over also.
Misa, owing to her career as a pop icon, was not there to stare at her, but certainly would have had she been present. The rest of the task force was attempting-to-discreetly-glance-over, which Anna at least appreciated. Whether this was because they understood basic societal norms or they had become horrifyingly used to this absurd pastiche of a life was yet to be determined.
No time like the present for introducing potential romantic rivals. If the Author so willed it, so it would come to pass. Right?
"I've been thinking. About the case."
L raised an eyebrow at her, as though doubting her devotion to finding Kira. She scowled back at him. Light, however, nodded, very politely.
She continued, "and about L's past cases."
"I'm flattered," L said, obnoxiously.
"I think we should call in Naomi Misora," she finished, rather than scream at him.
Matsuda, lovely, exposition-attaining Matsuda, asked: "Who?"
"I'll let you explain," said Anna, looking at L.
"No, no. You brought her up. Why do you think she has relevant skills?" L rebutted.
"But you know her so much more intimately!" protested Anna.
L demurred, waving it off, and Matsuda asked: "Intimately?"
"Yes! Intimately!" said Anna.
"Well, if you know so much about our relationship, Anna, then maybe you should be the one to talk about her."
"I simply couldn't."
Light interjected. "FBI agent. Notable in the LABB case, where she worked with L to solve it."
"Why, very useful, Light, but strange that you didn't want Anna to answer. Were you worried her answer would be incriminating, perhaps?" L sipped his tea obnoxiously. Honestly, the adjective was probably redundant, as Anna found basically everything about him obnoxious, but still. Keeping her idealogical hatred of him inside the sanctity of her own mind was a sticking point.
"Fuck off," said Anna irritably.
"If you insist," L said, and what? He was walking away- and ah. There it was. She fell out of her chair with a thump, and held up her middle finger in response. The chain jangled with her arm.
Light went to help her up, and she accepted. Was this an adorable couple moment? Should she be swooning? She felt like she was supposed to swoon at this moment, or an appropriately besotted character designed for this would have. She decided to compromise, by fluttering her eyelashes dramatically.
Light did not respond in a besotted manner. "Do you have something in your eye?"
Well. That just wouldn't do. "Only realizing what a wonderful boyfriend you are."
L, third wheel and snarky commenter extraordinare, said, "You're only now realizing that, in your, what was it, dating since November?"
"Shut up, Ryuzaki," said Anna and Light together, and wasn't that just adorable.
Misa returned from her day job as a pop icon. She did not approve of the bring-Naomi-here idea.
"You want to bring yet another woman into the investigation? Is it not enough that Anna," said with appropriate contempt, "is here? You want to cheat on Misa so much?"
"Misa, we're not dating." Light said, in an imminently reasonable tone.
Anna coughed. "You were. Since spring. Sakura and all, yay romance," and accompanied this with feeble jazz hands.
"Misa's not talking to you! Boyfriend-stealer."
"What? I'm agreeing with you, come on!"
Misa sniffed, Pomeranian like. Maybe a toy poodle. "Why do you want this Misora woman here?"
"She's beautiful and I want to instigate relationship drama between you and Light," Anna deadpanned.
Light frowned. "She's reportedly an excellent FBI agent who's worked with L before."
"She is that. Nevertheless, Anna still hasn't explained why we ought bring her here."
"Why, Ryuzaki, I'm hoping that she'll seduce you and distract you from the Kira case." Anna sighed. "I think we need new perspectives. She did great work before, she can do it again, and you trust her? One hundred percent confirmed not-Kira?"
"Nobody's ever certainly not Kira." Well, wasn't that interesting?
"Not even yourself?" Light asked.
"Now, that would be telling, wouldn't it." L winked, and goddamnit that was not a winking opportunity. His face drew slightly less sly, though, and that would have to do. "I'm fairly positive she's not Kira, yes."
"Excellent! Then let's bring her here!"
Through much more tedious conversation that, for the sake of intrigue and thereby her continued existence, Anna hoped desperately was not included in the fanfiction the Author was writing, it was agreed. Naomi Misora was getting inducted to the Kira Task Force.