Work Text:
Isn't it ironic, the moment I found you
I had so much more to lose
Isn't it crazy that more is less
Why do we have to choose
I've Got To Let You Go by Carole King
FIRST GRADE
“Let her go!”
“No! YOU let her go!”
“I had her first!”
“But she’s mine!”
“Girls girls girls!” A tall blonde woman moved to the squabbling children. “If you aren’t careful, you’re going to rip the toy. Then neither of you will have her. Now, use your words.”
“Ms Jody, Chloe took my doll!” a small brown haired girl with curly pigtails cried. Her navy eyes watered as she scowled at the other child.
“Nuh uh!” the redhead exclaimed. “I had it first, and Beca tried to take it away!” The girl named Chloe was slightly taller with long wavy red hair and bright blue eyes. Freckles dotted her nose and cheeks.
“That’s because she’s MINE!” Beca yelled back.
“I got her first!” Chloe retorted.
“Girls!” Ms Jody firmly answered. “I am going to take Strawberry Shortcake for now since you can’t play nice.” She took the doll and put her up on top of a cabinet. “And I think you both need a timeout to think about your decisions.”
At this, both girls began to wail. Through her tears, Beca tried to explain, “But … I … I … I brought her from hoooooome. And …. she … she took her out of my bag.”
Chloe also was bawling, but her sadness was at getting in trouble. “I’m … I’m … I’m sorry Ms Jody. Pluh … pluh … please don’t put me on timeout.”
“Chloe, did you take the doll out of Beca’s bag?” Ms Jody asked, crouching down to get on the girls’ level.
The redhead hung her head. “Yes,” she whispered. “But but but, she said I could play with her later today. And you said it was play time.”
“Yeah,” Beca called back. “But you didn’t ask!”
“Girls, stop yelling,” Ms Jody pled, pinching her nose at the headache that was rapidly forming. “I think this all may have been a miscommunication.”
Beca looked confused. “What’s a mis…mis…miscomoootication?”
“Miscommunication,” the teacher corrected. “It means that two people didn’t understand what the other person meant. I think Chloe thought you said she could play with Strawberry Shortcake at play time, but you meant that you would give her to Chloe when you were ready.” She looked at both girls. “Does that sound right.” Both little heads nodded up and down. “See?” Ms Jody asked with a smile. “Miscommunication! Things are better when we talk them out. Now, can you tell each other sorry?”
The girls glanced at each other with doubtful looks. “Sorry,” Beca mumbled.
“Sorry,” Chloe replied with the same level of enthusiasm.
“Okay, why don’t you two go play with something else for a little while,” the teacher said, standing up and patting each girl on the head.
“But,” Beca began with fear and tears in her eyes. “What about my Shortcake? Are you keeping it?”
“No, sweetie,” the teacher reassured the small girl. “I’ll give her back for you to take home. Maybe don’t bring such special toys with you to school next time?” She smiled and stepped away.
As soon as Ms Jody had her back turned, Beca swung her head towards Chloe. She scowled at the redhead. “You’re gonna get it.” Then she shoved Chloe, causing the girl to fall onto the floor. The redhead began to wail, the teacher spun back around to see what happened, and Beca sprinted off towards the block station.
FIFTH GRADE
“Why don’t you go stand with the other hobbits!” A tall pretty blonde girl laughed and spun around, walking to the other side of the gym. She was flanked by a very tall brunette and a shorter redhead. The girl with red hair paused, looking back at the crestfallen shorter brunette before catching up to her friends.
“One of these days, I’m going to punch Aubrey right in her big stupid face,” the rejected brunette growled.
“Beca, just let her go,” the boy with floppy brown hair and puppy dog eyes advised. “She isn’t worth it.”
“I just … can’t stand her!” Beca stated through gritted teeth.
“Yeah, nobody can,” the boy agreed. At the scowl from Beca, he amended his statement. “Well, aside from … you know … Stacie and Chloe.”
“Ugh,” Beca said, squeaking her Converse on the gym floor. “What do they see in her? She’s all bossy and annoying.”
“…And pretty and rich …” the boy continued.
“Jesse,” Beca snapped. “Just because you have a crush on her…”
The boy’s mouth fell open, “I do NOT.”
“Whatever,” Beca replied, rolling her eyes. The two friends walked around the gym, looking at the various games and stands set up for the carnival. “Is there anything you want to play?”
“Not really,” Jesse said, shrugging. “I wouldn’t mind getting some popcorn, though.” Beca nodded and the duo headed over to the stand where parents were handing out snacks.
“Why, hello Beca,” the lady with red hair said, smiling widely at the brunette. “I haven’t see you around for a while.”
“Hi, Mrs. Beale,” she shyly answered. “Chloe has been … busy … I guess.”
“She is hanging around with Aubrey and Stacie a lot,” Jesse added. The comment got him a piercing look from Beca - which cause them to miss the grimace on Mrs. Beale’s face.
“Ah, yes,” Chloe’s mom said. “Miss Posen has been mentioned more lately.” Trying to change the subject, she asked,“What can I get you?”
“Popcorn!” Jesse exclaimed and a Coke.
“Do you have Skittles?” Beca questioned.
Handing Jesse his bag of popcorn, Mrs. Beale chuckled. “You and your Skittles…” She then handed a bag over to Beca.“How do you feel about them switching lime to green apple.”
“It’s an abomination,” Beca complained. “What’s with all the green apple popping up in candy everywhere? I can’t stand it.” Jesse just shook his head. Mrs. Beale laughed.
“Well, I hope you have fun,” the red haired woman said. “And, Beca? Please don’t be a stranger. We miss you around the house.”
“Yeah,” Beca choked out. “I miss you guys too.” She and Jesse left the snack stand and started to circle the gym again. A red haired girl stood on the other side of the building, watching them with a sad look on her face.
EIGHTH GRADE
“I just can’t believe he left!” Beca cried, wiping her eyes with tissues. “He didn’t fight for mom. He just … let her go.”
“Becs,” Chloe quietly commented, rubbing the small brunette’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“And he just … left me,” Beca continued, hot tears streaming down her face. “I know that this is about them, but … what about me? He’s my dad … and he’s … gone.”
At that, she dissolved into a sobbing mess. The redhead wrapped her arms around her friend and held her tight. She stroked her hair and let her cry, knowing there was nothing she could say to make things better. After several minutes of loud cries, the noise lessened - replaced by sniffles.
“Grownups are stupid,” Beca grumbled.
“Yes,” Chloe agreed. “They can be.”
“Promise me you’ll never let us grow up?” Beca asked hopefully.
“I don’t think I can do that,” Chloe laughed. “We already are growing up.”
“You are,” the small brunette groused. “I still look like a kid.” She wasn’t wrong. Beca had just turned fourteen, but she looked more like a ten year old. She was one of the smallest kids in the grade. She hadn’t started to develop like most of the other girls. And she just had one of those young looking faces. Chloe, on the other hand, had a major growth spurt over the summer. She now stood six inches taller than her friend. And she was staring to look more mature as well - developing more of a figure. “I don’t even need a bra, yet,” Beca confided.
‘Becs,” Chloe replied. “You’ll get there. You just … are a late bloomer.” She lifted her friend’s face up so they saw eye to eye. “And that’s perfectly fine. You’re perfect just the way you are.” The she kissed her friend on the cheek.
Beca blushed ferociously. In the safety of the Beale living room, Beca would wonder what it all meant - her friendship with Chloe. They had known each other for almost their whole lives. They had been enemies, pals, classmates, and now best friends. But Beca sometimes wondered if there was something more. She, along with everyone else, had noticed just how beautiful Chloe was becoming. The redhead was the object of attention of dozens of boys at school. She would flirt and giggle, but she would always come back to Beca. She would lay her head on the brunette’s lap while they watched TV. They would spoon during sleepovers. Chloe would hold Beca’s hand, kiss her cheek, make all sorts of comments that made Beca’s head spin and heart race. Still… Beca wasn’t brave enough to do anything about it. She already was barely above the bottom tier of the social hierarchy at school anyway - and that position was mostly due to her friendship with Chloe. The brunette couldn’t afford the hit it would take if it got out that she might like girls. So she kept her mouth shut and enjoyed what she had. If she only ever had Chloe as a best friend, that was plenty.
“Hey, did you hear that Jesse asked Aubrey out?” Chloe asked with a smirk.
“Ugghhhh, that idiot!” Beca groaned.
“Which one?” Chloe replied, both girls breaking into giggles at the comment.
“He’s been hung up on her for years,” Beca announced. “What did she say?”
“She said no, of course,” the redhead answered, shaking her head. “She’s worried about what people would say.”
“I get that,” Beca mumbled.
“The sad thing,” Chloe continued, “Is that she really likes him. Kind of dumb to worry so much about other people that you won’t let yourself be happy.” She looked over at Beca. “You know?”
Beca looked back into those bright blue eyes, her heart doing loops in her chest. “Yeah, it is kind of dumb.”
ELEVENTH GRADE
“What the hell does she see in that douche canoe?” Beca yelled, slamming her backpack onto her bed.
“You mean, aside from he’s rich, he’s cute, he’s the starting quarterback, he’s popular, he has a nice car…” Stacie sat on the desk chair and ticked items off on her fingers.
“You … you can leave, you know,” Beca stated, pointing at the tall brunette.
“My little friend,” Stacie explained. “You aren’t really mad at me. You aren’t mad at Tom.”
“…No, I’m mad at Tom,” Beca interrupted.
“You HATE Tom,” Stacie corrected. “You’re not mad at him. And you probably aren’t even mad at Chloe.”
“Then who, pray tell, am I mad at? I sense you’re getting at something,” Beca asked, sitting cross legged on her bed.
“Yourself, of course,” Stacie stated confidently.
“Why am I friends with you?” Beca asked after staring at the tall teen for a good minute.
“Because I’m amazing,” Stacie answered with a flip of her hair. “Do you want to know WHY you’re mad at yourself?”
“No,” Beca grumbled. “But you’ll probably tell me anyways.”
“YOU,” Stacie announced, punctuating her comments with her pointer finger thrust into the air. “…are mad at yourself, because you didn’t do anything about your MASSSSIVE crush on Chloe when you had the chance.”
“WHAT … the fuck …. are you talking about … crazy person?” Beca asked, mimicking Stacie’s delivery.
“Come on, Beca,” Stacie seriously began. “You can deny it all you want, but you know that you love her.”
Beca just stared, straight faced. “Even if that were true, what do you mean I ‘had the chance.’”
“You two have been super close for years…” Stacie patiently explained. “She was waiting for you to make a move … and you didn’t … so she looked at other options.”
“You are full of shit,” the small brunette announced.
“No I’m not.”
“Whatever…”
“Look, Beca,” Stacie crossed her foot under her leg in the chair and wheeled closer to the bed. “I’m your friend. I want what is best for you. And being realistic and honest with yourself is the best thing. It is a simple question: do you like Chloe?”
Beca chewed on her lip, thinking about her response. “Yes,” she finally whispered.
“Are you ever going to do anything about it?”
“She’s with Tom,” Beca protested, gesturing wildly at … nothing.
“Bitch, please,” her friend said, waving the idea away. “Tom’s had, like, ten girlfriends in the last year.”
“What about all of those … things …” Beca asked, tapping the tips of her fingers, “… that are so great about him?”
“He’s also a self-absorbed, narcissistic, misogynistic idiot with a small dick!” Stacie blurted.
“Then why are we letting him date her?!?” Beca flailed her arms around with a crazed look on her face.
“Because the one person she really wants to be with is too big of a coward to do anything about it!” Stacie did a great Beca impersonation. Which earned her a middle finger from Beca.
“Are you going to ever tell her how you feel?” Stacie asked.
“No … I don’t know …” Beca flopped back onto her bed and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know if I can.”
“Then you have to let her go,” Stacie stated. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Or to her.” Small tears started to run down Beca’s cheeks. “I’m sorry, honey. It is the way it needs to be.”
“I don’t think I can do that,” Beca softly replied. “She means too much.”
“Then find a way to let her know,” Stacie said.
TWELFTH GRADE
“Tom, just leave me alone,” Chloe spat as she walked briskly to her car.
“Chloe, come on…” Tom pled, chasing after her. “I said I was sorry.”
“Sorry? For which thing?” Chloe asked bitterly, spinning around to face her recent ex.
“For … all of them…” Tom replied.
“You’re an asshole!” The redhead was back on the move towards her car. She continued to loudly speak over her shoulder. “Marissa. Kenzie. Anna. Emma. Madison. Inez. Those are just the ones I know about!”
With a burst of speed, Tom caught up to Chloe and stepped between her and her car. “Babe, stop. Let’s talk about this.”
“Don’t ‘Babe’ me, Tom,” Chloe snapped. “And get out of my way.”
“No!” Chloe flinched at Tom’s voice. There was something dangerous and frightening in the transformation that came over him. “You listen to me, you little bitch. You knew what you were getting into when you got with me. I’ve never been a one-woman man. Guys like me never are.” He grabbed Chloe’s arm. “Now, let’s talk.”
“Tom, you’re hurting me,” Chloe winced in pain.
“I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t running away.”
“Let her go,” a new voice spoke up.
“Oh, it’s your knight in shining armor, Chloe,” Tom laughed.
“Beca …” Chloe whispered. “Don’t get involved in this.”
“I said … let … her … go,” Beca repeated firmly, glaring up at Tom.
“What the fuck are you going to do about it, Mitchell?” Tom sneered. “Just scamper off … before you get hurt.”
“The only person who is going to get hurt is you, dickhead,” Beca replied calmly. “Now, last warning. Let! Her! Go!”
Tom’s eyes flashed and he stepped towards Beca, still holding tightly to Chloe’s arm. In a flash, Beca’s foot flew up and kicked the tall boy in his crotch. His eyes went wide. He dropped Chloe’s arm and his hands flew down to his groin. He called out through clenched teeth. “You … bitch …”
“I warned you,” Beca said with a shrug. “Now I want you to leave Chloe alone. For good.”
Tom now was on his knees, his hands clutching at his privates. Anger was etched on his face. “I’m going to kill you, you little…” He didn’t get to finish his comment. Beca swung her fist with everything she had and punched him in the nose. Blood spurted out as Tom roared in pain.
“Mother … fucker!” Beca screamed, shaking her hand. “That hurt!”
“Oh my God, Beca!” Chloe cried. She reached out for her friend. “Did you break your hand?”
“I think so,” Beca grimaced. “Holy shit, that hurts.”
“I need to take you to the hospital,” Chloe announced. “Get in the car.”
“Yeah, okay.” The brunette walked around to the passenger door and got in.
Chloe stepped over to where Tom was twitching on the ground. “Dick.” She kicked him in the ribs, and then she got into the car.
They drove out of the parking lot and headed towards the hospital. The car ride was quiet, except for the wincing and groaning from Beca as the pain shot through her hand and arm. Finally, Chloe spoke up. “What were you thinking?”
“What?” Beca asked incredulously. “He was hurting you!”
“Yes, but … he’s easily a foot taller than you … and like twice your weight!” Chloe glanced over at her friend. “He could have really hurt you.”
“He could have really hurt you!” Beca retorted.
“Yeah, but that’s my own stupid fault,” Chloe said sadly. “I was the idiot who kept coming back to him.”
“NO!” Beca shouted. “It is NEVER okay to treat someone like that. You didn’t deserve any of the shitty things he did to you. The cheating, the rude comments, the cold shoulders, and CERTAINLY not the hurting.”
Chloe sat quietly, tears streaming out of her eyes. “I was scared, Becs. I thought he was going to hurt me bad.”
“Yeah, I know,” Beca replied quietly. “Me too.”
“Why?” Chloe asked. “Why are you so good to me? You are always there. Even when I’ve been awful to you, or when I get myself into trouble. Why do you do it?”
Beca turned to face the redhead in the driver’s seat. She already had been brave enough to beat up a football player today. Maybe it was time to be brave enough with Chloe. “Cause I love you.”
“I love you too, Becs,” Chloe replied with a smile.
“No,” Beca corrected. “I am IN love with you. I have been for so long. I … just … I just love you.”
Chloe cried in her seat, biting her lip as she focused on the road. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I was scared,” Beca answered. “I was worried about what would happen. That I would lose you if I said anything.”
“You could never lose me,” Chloe stated, turning to smile at the brunette. “Just be patient with me, okay? Sometimes it takes me a while to figure things out.”
“Always.”
COLLEGE SENIOR YEAR
“So you’re going to move to New York?”
“Yup,” Chloe said with a smile. “We leave right after graduation.
“That’s so far away,” Aubrey whined.
“Awww, Bree,” the redhead cooed. “You can come see us! It’s The Big Apple! It is such a fun place to visit.”
The tall blonde placed a pile of folded up shirts into a box. “I can’t believe you’re just … following Beca up there.”
“Well, I’m not going to let her go,” Chloe stated. “I love her, and she got a producing job in New York. So I’m going there too.”
“I still don’t know what you see in her,” Aubrey mumbled.
“Really, Bree?” Chloe asked, stopping her packing to look over at her friend. “Even after all these years? Being in The Bellas with her? She and I have been together for four year! You really need to give this up.”
“I know. She is really good to you,” the blonde conceded.
“Wow, Aubrey! You said something nice about Beca!” Chloe squealed in surprise. “Where is my diary? I need to mark this down.” She pretended to look through boxes.
“Oh, knock it off,” Aubrey said. “I’m just a little sad that you’ll be so far away. We’ve lived in the same town for so long.”
“I know, but we are just a plane ride away,” Chloe replied. “And there are tons of Atlanta to NYC flights.”
“Will I have to interact with the Hobbit?”
“Stop calling her that,” Chloe frowned. “And, yes, you will have to interact with her.” Aubrey groaned. “Look, the sooner you accept this, the better. I’m going to marry her, Bree. We are going to have kids together and do life together. She isn’t going away.”
“You know, I envy you,” Aubrey gently said after a few moments of silence. “I hope that I can find what you have with Beca.”
“Me too, Bree,” Chloe agreed. “I hope so.”
THREE YEARS AFTER COLLEGE
The ambulance careened to a stop outside of the emergency room. The back doors flew open. Two paramedics wheeled a woman on a gurney out and to the waiting doctors. The woman groaned and held her stomach. “Nine months pregnant woman. Contractions came on quickly. They are currently three minutes apart.”
“We got her!” The doctor called back. The bed was wheeled towards a delivery room.
A small brunette woman burst through the door to chase the bed. “Chloe! Chloe! I’m here. I’m so sorry I wasn’t home!”
“Beca!” The woman on the cart tried to sit up and reached out to the woman in hot pursuit. “It’s okay. You didn’t know. I guess our baby really wanted to come today.”
One of the doctors turned to face Beca. “Ma’am? I’m guessing you are with this patient?”
“Yes!” Beca answered. “That’s my wife. She’s having our baby.”
“Okay,” the doctor replied. “The nurse is going to get you gowned up, so follow her. They will bring you into the delivery room once we have your wife situated.”
When Beca was brought into the delivery room, Chloe was covered with a sheet. Another large sheet blocked the view of the bottom half from Chloe’s face. Beca jogged over and kissed her wife on the forehead. “Hey babe. How are you doing?”
“Okay,” Chloe nodded. “A little scared.”
“Me too,” Beca agreed with a grin.
“Okay, ladies,” the doctor announced. “It looks like the baby is breach, and is in a little distress. So we are going to do a C Section to get it out quickly.”
Beca and Chloe nodded nervously. The brunette placed her hands on the redhead’s shoulders. Both of them looked at the sheet blocking the view, waiting and listening.
“There we go,” the doctor announced. A shrill cry pierced the air. “Good set of lungs on her.”
“Her?” Beca asked, stunned. “It’s a girl?”
“It is a girl,” the doctor said happily.
“Babe, it’s a girl,” Beca excitedly said to Chloe.
“I know. I heard,” Chloe said with a smirk.
The little bundle was brought over and placed on Chloe’s chest. Both ladies looked in amazement. “She’s so tiny,” Beca whispered.
“Just like her mom,” Chloe whispered back.
The baby had her eyes tightly closed. She had a frown on her face. A little knit cap rested on her head, covering the light covering of red hair.
“Oh my God,” Beca said. “I love her so much already. She’s perfect.”
“I’m never gonna let her go,” Chloe stated in amazement.
“Me neither,” Beca agreed.