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There are shreds of dried rose leaves lying on the floor. Sometimes they crunch under her feet, while she is flying around the room, trying nearly frantically to finish the potion in time.
It shouldn’t be that tough, really. She has done it twice before. But her notes are smeared into something unreadable, after her tea spilled all over it.
So the last ingredient is something she has to guess and that turns out to be much harder than she thought.
So far she has tried six different versions and it’s not going well. Her potion base is in the cauldron and she uses plastic cups to refill the potion and then add the last ingredient, because that is all that is needed. Just add it and then the liquid should turn into something translucent and shimmering pink.
So far one stayed the way it was, one turned solid, another started smoking and the last one exploded after two minutes. She will have to clean up this mess too.
Sighing Rey takes the next cup and fills her potion into it. She should wait for Solo. He usually does this potion in his sleep. But if she were to do that, she would admit defeat. And that is very unacceptable.
Honey it is next. She is pretty confident that that might be the solution. So she lifts the spoon full of sweet stickiness and lets it carefully sink into the liquid.
As it starts turning she holds her breath and- it’s done. A successful grin forms on her face, as the fluid becomes translucent and shimmering pink. Sighing she takes a vial and fills the potion into it. It’s perfect.
A look at the clock tells her she has twenty more minutes for the customer to arrive. And Solo should soon be back from his appointment as well.
Relieved she closes the vial with a cork and neatly wraps it for the customer.
She has been running this little business for three years now and people depend on her. After the famous Luke Skywalker had taken her under his wing and shown her how to be a potion mistress Rey had been devastated by his death. But he had left the store to her, under the condition that his annoying nephew would always be welcome to work there as well. Now Rey is known to cure all kinds of illnesses and help with emotional matters.
Solo is a brilliant potion master as well, even if she would never admit that to him. They had a difficult start and from the very beginning he had treated her as though she was a child. She gets that the age difference might be tough to overcome for him, with her being his boss and all, but sometimes she would really like to rip his head off.
Only last week he told her it would be smart of her to do a rebranding, with the name being out-dated and everything. That insufferable know-it-all can put his ideas were the sun doesn’t shine. Skywalker Draughts & Potions is a simple name. And yes, she is aware that all people who go by Skywalker are dead, and yes, thank you very much, she is also aware that she is keeping the legacy of an old white man alive, but that doesn’t mean that she will change her shops name, because Ben-kriffin-Solo thinks that marketing wise that would be a splendid idea.
Only thinking about Ben makes her furious. Every day holds a new fight for them. He always comes up with the most annoying ideas and what is actually the worst is that the customers love him. Especially the ladies love to talk the hind legs off a donkey about his charm and his politeness and him being as tall as a tree.
And Rey always bites her tongue when they do, because yes again, she knows he is tall, and dark and brooding. And even if some bad tongues say that his features are a bit too disproportional to be considered handsome Rey has never thought that way, to her own dismay.
Huffing slightly she rewrites her notes for the potion and then starts cleaning. Sometimes she really wishes magic worked like it does in movies. But she has no wand, flying brooms or invisibility cloaks. Her magic is much more elemental and thus the mess she has made, must be cleaned the old-fashioned way.
The caldron, which is nearly empty, gets a good scrubbing and Rey throws away the cups with the potions that didn’t make it. She fills the rest of the love potion from the cup into another vial, because maybe someone will order one in the near future and she doesn’t want to throw away potent magic. The slightly gooey potion drips into the vial and she thinks she might need a third one when the front door opens and Ben comes in.
He looks at her and gives her a nod, before walking around the counter and towards her.
“I have the ingredients for Mrs. Lonel’s order,” he informs her and places a neat linen bag onto the counter next to her potion. “I will prepare them for you, since you insist on brewing even though I’m perfectly capable of doing it myself.”
Rey’s jaw clenches. “Thank you,” she presses out and Ben leaves her to work, disappearing into what he declared his corner of their shared workspace.
Rey is done with the vials. She filled four with the love potion and is happy everything worked out so well. Quickly placing the vials next to the others she still has to label, she goes to get some parchment stickers.
It takes a few minutes because admittedly, the storage room has seen better days and maybe that’s a perfect job for Ben. He can arrange and tidy up, since he is being irritating again.
Parchment in hand she walks back to her potions and notices one gone. Blinking a few times she frowns and looks around. Ben is still preparing the ingredients, but the vial is definitely gone and it should be right here.
“Solo, did you take one of the vials standing here?” She turns towards him with her arms crossed in front of her chest.
He stops in his movement and throws her an annoyed glance. “I did. I think I’m going to have a cold and I wanted to avoid being sick, so I took one of the get-well potions. Is that a problem?”
Rey gapes at him and then looks back at the potions and damn it all, he is right there are get-well potions right next to her love potions, but he took the wrong one. “And you drank it already?”
He nods.
“Do you feel better?”
He hesitates. “I don’t notice a difference,” he admits.
Rey nods and grabs a get-well potion from the counter. “Here, try again. I think the ingredients weren’t that fresh. One might not be enough. Maybe have some chamomile tea to go with it. I think you should feel an effect immediately.”
Solo frowns but takes the potion from her and Rey turns around and labels the remaining potions to avoid something like this from ever happening again.
It’s only later in bed when she tries to sleep that it hits her like lightning. Solo drunk a love potion, she was the first person he saw and he didn’t act differently towards her at all.
There are two solutions to the situation. He either is a person that isn’t capable of feeling love and therefore doesn’t act on it. Or, and that is a tat more likely, he is already in love with someone else.
Rey sips her breakfast tea, the topic still in mind because first she can’t imagine Ben Solo in love with someone and second because there is a plan forming in her mind.
If Solo has a partner she can maybe somehow convince them to make Ben quit his work. She just has to find out who it is, befriend them and then make sure they are very interested in moving to another country or something. It’s a rough first draft, but she thinks it will play out once she meets that special person.
And then, well, she will finally be able to work in peace without a know-it-all dancing around her all day.
Acting natural is hard, she realizes when Solo shows up for work. She tries small talk and he nearly immediately asks her if she is feeling alright today.
“I was trying to be polite for once. You know since we are working together and I figured it would be nice if we… liked each other?”
“Is that a question?”
“I’m offering you an olive branch.”
“I don’t like olives.”
“Yes, you do. I’ve seen you eating pizza with olives. And you know that was a figure of speech.”
“I don’t recall eating pizza with olives in front of you.”
She gives him a death glare. “You don’t make it easy for me to like you.”
He shrugs. “Then don’t. I didn’t ask you to.”
And that is the end of the conversation, because Rey is at a loss of words and she just doesn’t have more energy in the morning to fight with him.
She tries again the next day, her mind made up and her will strong as ever.
“I was thinking about a little party at the store.”
Ben turns ever so slightly and frowns at her. “And why would you do that?”
She smiles. “I think it’s time to gain a few more customers and I figured we could invite friends and partners and celebrate our shop anniversary.”
“Are you thinking about expanding the target group?”
Rey nods. “Sure.”
If he likes the idea he doesn’t show it.
“Most customers are older folks, we could use a few more people in their twenties,“ Solo muses.
“Exactly my thoughts. So…are you bringing someone?” Rey asks and hopes that he will for once answer.
“No, I have to concentrate on our customers at such an event. I can’t possibly invite friends, though I think my mother might like to come. Maybe you could send her an invite.”
Rey nods, but huffs a little. He still didn’t answer her question.
“I got us lunch.” She exclaims happily on Wednesday, when she enters the store. Ben is scrubbing caldrons in the back.
“Are you trying to bribe me?”
“A simple ‘thank you’ would have been appreciated.” She places the food in front of him and hopes he will recognize that she got it from his favourite place.
Solo lets out a sigh and doesn’t look at her. “Thank you.”
“You are welcome. I thought I might do this once a week now. You know... company lunch.”
Ben doesn’t say anything, but starts eating his food at the counter of their kitchen. Rey sits next to him and eats as well. Somehow she finishes before him.
“Did I make a good choice or do you prefer something different?”
He is still swallowing his last bite and grabs a napkin to clean his mouth before he answers her. “What is it with you lately? You have never cared before. You always treated me like I was a rival or something.”
Rey shrugs. “Maybe I worked extra hard and saw you as a competition because I was afraid that Luke would give the shop to you and I would be kicked out.”
Ben looks at her surprised and she has this sinking feeling. The one where she knows she has revealed to much.
He clears his throat. “Luke loved you. If he would have given me the store he would have put the same clause into the contract that he put in for me now.”
She purses her lips. “You don’t know that.”
His jaw is working. “It doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t have fired you.”
“Sure you would have. We are like… fire and water, yin and yang, light and dark. There is no way that is true.”
Ben doesn’t answer her. He stands up, throws his garbage away and gets back to work.
“Would you be interested in helping me plan the party? I noticed you have recently had some ideas concerning the store and I thought maybe you also had ideas for an event?”
Ben stills when she approaches him and looks at her, like a hawk watching it’s prey. “I can give you a list.”
“Why don’t we have a meeting for this? On work time of course. You show me your ideas and we can talk about what is achievable and what not?”
“Did you take a potion to be nicer to me or how do you manage this new persona?”
Rey’s eyes widen. “What?”
“You haven’t insulted me for nearly three days now. I’m starting to think you might like me.”
It sounds hopeful somehow, but Rey scoffs quickly. “You wish.”
She takes a step back. “I’m just trying to be a better shopkeeper. I want to make improvements. Make Luke proud.”
“He is dead. If you burned the place to the ground tomorrow he wouldn’t know.”
She presses her lips together to keep her emotions from escaping her mouth. “You are an ass, Solo.”
She leaves so fast that she doesn’t hear Ben’s quiet,“I know.”
Maybe it is not worth the effort. She thought it would be nice to play it friendly and then slowly get Solo to trust her and tell her who he is in love with. Then she would probably even gain the influence to urge him into a certain direction.
After their last disagreement he had been quiet. She hadn’t approached him for another four days and he hadn’t given her another reason to be mad.
Rey is wrapping potion orders when he enters the store Thursday morning. He is holding a bag and walks right up to her.
“I want to beg for your forgiveness,” he starts and Rey nearly drops the vial she is holding. “What I said was disrespectful and horrible. Really horrible.” He swallows thickly. “I truly am an ass and I’m sorry.”
He places the bag on the counter. “While I am aware that your forgiveness can’t be bought, I still did not want to come empty handed. So, this is for you.”
Rey takes a peek inside and sure enough there is the mustard coloured scarf from a shop close by that she had been eyeing for a while.
A deep breath leaves her mouth. “I accept your apology. Thank you… for the scarf.”
She pulls it out and hold the soft fabric to her cheek.
Maybe her plan isn’t bad after all.
It’s Friday evening. She presses his door bell twice. Just for good measure.
He opens his front door after a few seconds, which she uses to stare at the nice painting on the ceiling. The building his flat is located in is pretty old.
Holding up the take away bags she grins at him. “Can I come in or are you busy?”
He looks pained and she doesn’t understand why. “It’s not a good time, right now.”
Pursing her lips she holds the bags even higher. “But the food gets cold.”
He looks undecided to his left and his right and then lets her step inside. “I haven’t cleaned up. Don’t expect anything nice.”
She walks inside and realizes that this flat looks nothing like she thought it would. Large bookshelves grace the living room walls. There are two comfortable looking sofas and an antic lamp standing around. Books litter the floor and her few potion bottles sit on the elegant golden coffee table. What surprises her most though is that there is colour. Solo seems to not like his decoration as dull as his personality.
“Wow, this looks great. Are you responsible for the interior design or is someone else?”
Ben frowns and takes the bags from her. “I don’t need other people to decorate my place.”
“Of course. I didn’t mean to insult you.”
He frowns at her again.
“Can I use the bathroom?” Rey blurts out and he nods, letting out a sigh. “Up the hallway, to the right. She nods and grins to herself. This is the perfect time to go snooping around. There must be evidence of a lover in his home. Surely Solo has at least a picture or something.
She makes sure he is still busy setting up the food for them when she enters his bedroom. Fortunately it’s right next to the bathroom.
Quickly looking around she sees a neat area. But no hint of a lover. She can’t spend much time here. She doesn’t want to be found out. Turning towards the door again, her gaze falls to the little davenport and sure enough there is a sketchbook lying on top of it.
She carefully picks it up and opens it, to find herself staring back at her. Irritated she turns to the next page. Again her, a full body this time. The more she looks through the book the more she realizes that Solo has a whole sketchbook full of drawings of her.
She doesn’t know how to feel about that. Is this his way of a coping mechanism? No scratched out eyes so far. Carefully she places it the way she found it and walks out again.
Ben is waiting for her in the kitchen. It looks just as elegant and perfect as the rest of the flat. Rey catches herself wishing she could live here.
“Enjoy your meal,” Ben says before taking his fork.
“Did you poison it?” Rey asks dryly.
Ben gives her a look that quiets her. “You are the one who came here with food. If you don’t want my company don’t seek me out.”
His words actually make her flustered.
“I’m sorry. You are right. Old habits.” She takes a bite and sighs happily.
Ben eats as well, but he keeps an eye on her.
“So, are you seeing anyone at the moment?” She is looking at his bookshelf after they have finished eating.
Ben is standing close to the door of the living room, watching her. At her question his eyes widen. “No, I’m not.”
Rey lets out a satisfied hum. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to.
“Are you?” he asks back and she is a little startled by his interest. “No, of course not.”
She shrugs and brushes it off. Ben comes closer, still staring at her.
“Why do you make such an effort out of the sudden? You bring food, you are trying to be nicer to me at work… Something is off.” He sits down and motions for her to do so as well. “Are you planning on firing me?”
“I can’t. Did you forget?”
He looks at his hands, his jaw working. “If you really want me to go, I will leave. Just because Uncle Luke gave you this condition, doesn’t mean you have to endure me for the rest of your days. And I’m sure there are other potion stores where I could find work.”
He sounds a little defeated and suddenly Rey feels… a lot of different things, but not the relieve she expected to feel.
She sits down on one the sofas and takes her glass filled with juice, quickly sipping on it.
The idea of him not being in the store every day doesn’t seem that appealing any more. It seems rather lonely actually. Even if he is annoying at times.
Ben sits down opposite of her. He is drinking juice as well. Apparently his mother had bought too much for him and now he was trying to get rid of it.
Rey doesn’t mind. The taste of pomegranate lies on her tongue.
Biting her lower lip she contemplates telling him about the love potion and her whole messed up plan. It wouldn’t hurt, right? They would probably just argue a bit.
“I have to tell you something,” she starts and immediately catches his attention. “You are right. I was trying to get you to quit.”
Ben presses his lips together in response.
“You see, last week you accidentally consumed a love potion.”
“I’m certain I did no such thing.”
“What part of accidentally do you not get?”
He opens his mouth to retort, but Rey keeps talking. “You thought you had taken a get-well-potion. But you drank the love potion I had just made and then you looked at me and you just kept behaving the same as always.”
Ben does something she has never seen him do. He blushes. “I understand. And now you are trying to get me to quit.”
She presses her lips together. “I...was, but maybe that was a hastily made decision. I mean… the customers do love you. And maybe if I can be nicer towards you, then you can be nicer towards me and we will just forget about this stupid getting-you-to-leave plan?”
Ben seems to think about her words. His jaw is working while he stares into his glass.
Finally he nods.
“Truce?” He holds out his hand.
“Truce.” Rey shakes it and stands up. “Oh, only one thing that I’m very curious about and wanted to ask. And I know this is a touchy subject since I am your boss and everything, but I guess I already overstepped your boundaries by inviting myself in on a Friday night for dinner...”
Ben stands up as well and seems to brace himself.
“Who is it you are in love with? You know, since the potion didn’t work?”
His mouth falls open. Then closes again.
“Rey, really?”
“It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me.”
“How are you so dense?”
She frowns, looking at him a little shocked. “Hey, that’s not the friendly behaviour I thought we had just agreed on.”
She takes a step towards him and points a finger at his chest.
“And how am I dense? Do you think I know every person in your life you could be in love with? You basically spend all day alone with me. I never see you talk to anybody else much. So, how would-” She stops at the way his gaze changes. His eyebrow is raised, signalling her that she made a point.
“Oh.”
It’s the moment she realizes how dense she really is, because which sane person keeps a sketchbook full of sketches of their enemy.
Now it’s her turn to open and close her mouth like a fish. “You, but you…”
She sits down and buries her hands in her hair. “Why are you such an asshole to me?”
She looks up, searching for an answer in his face. He doesn’t look at her.
“Were you trying to push me away?”
Now he does look back at her and the way he puckers his lips are a clear non-verbal confirmation.
“I don’t understand. Every normal person would have tried to become at least friends.”
Ben sighs at that. “Rey, you hated me from the minute Luke introduced us. I didn’t feel as though I could change much about your feelings.” He buries his hands in his pockets and looks away. “It’s fine. I will write an application and soon I’ll be out of your store.”
He walks to the door and Rey has too much to process to walk after him. She doesn’t know if she wants him to quit. Him being in love with her isn’t exactly a bad thing. Then again she feels stupid, because wasn’t it her plan all along to make him leave? And now he would quit and… she would be alone.
Ben waits for her. Both of them stand in silence.
She needs a few minutes to realize that she won’t be making a decision tonight. So she grabs her bag and coat and goes through the door Ben is so kind to hold open for her.
When she sinks into her bathtub at home she can still taste the pomegranate on her tongue.
She doesn’t open the store for the weekend and decides to give them both some days off.
It clears her mind enough to make a decision.
Ben reassures her, that it won’t be a hassle for him to find a new place, but Rey is certain she wants to keep him. Feelings be damned.
“If you can live with unrequited love than we won’t have issues,” she tells him and Ben nods rapidly, as though he hadn’t expected her to make this decision.
They start working together again and are as always, but maybe a little less hurtful. Their sarcasm seems almost flirty to Rey now, but she doesn’t mention it. It might hurt Ben if she makes advances to him and doesn’t absolutely mean it. Plus it’s fine the way it is.
A year passes quickly and she feels as though Ben and her have become good acquaintances. They don’t spend time together outside of work, but during work, they have started eating lunch together. They tell each other about their weekend. They makes jokes, when the customers aren’t listening.
Rey is happy with the situation, until a warm day at the beginning of August.
Bazine happens on that day. She enters the store like every normal customer, asking for some oils and get-well potions and trying to get Ben to give her a discount. And then at the end of her shopping experience she asks him for a date and Rey who had only been listening with one ear, comes to an abrupt halt. Not because of the question, because people have asked Ben out several times before, but because of his answer. This time, for the first time, his answer is yes.
She tries not to let it bother her, because why would it bother her? She is just irritated, since Ben had been in love with her. And now it seems he isn’t any more. If he is open for dating then he must have gotten over her.
Somehow that thought leaves a burning feeling in her chest.
It’s probably just anxiety. If he gets a partner maybe he will actually quit working at the store and then everyone who has ever loved her will be gone.
Makes sense.
That must be it.
The evening of Ben’s date Rey is more anxious than him. At least she thinks she is. Ben leaves the store at six and wishes her a good evening. Rey nods and hopes she looks happy for him, but she isn’t sure if her expression fits her act.
She decides to do inventory and stays late. Maybe she opens a bottle of wine she had lying around. Maybe she drinks the whole bottle alone. And Rey never drinks. So she wakes up on the floor the next morning her head is pulsing and her back hurts from sleeping on the floor. And she realizes, with a stab of guilt, it is so late, that Ben is already in the store, standing over her, still wearing his coat.
“What the hell happened to you?”
He looks good. But she has always thought him handsome.
“Nothing.”
Rey tries to hide her embarrassment and scrambles to stand up. She really needs a potion for her hangover. Ben follows her into the storage room.
“Did you sleep here?”
“Obviously.” She tries to reach the top shelf, where the potion is located, but Ben is faster. He reaches out and gets the potion, but also cages her in.
“Rey, what happened? That isn’t like you. Are you okay?”
She quickly snatches the potion out of his hand and drowns it in one go. Then she proceeds to stare at him. “Why do you care? Don’t you have a girlfriend now? Go and worry about her.” She doesn’t scream it. She says it in a quiet angry voice close to tears, which makes it abundantly clear how much those words hurt her.
Ben gives her some space. “I don’t have a girlfriend. The date was horrible, just as I expected.”
Rey sniffs and rubs her eyes. “Then why did you go?”
Ben’s jaw is moving again. “I’m tired, Rey.” He looks at the floor. “I know you said if I can work with unrequited love, everything will be fine, but the truth is… I can’t.”
He sighs. “I’m thinking about quitting.”
The tears are running down her cheeks now. Her throat tightening with each sob and she must look so ugly, sobbing in front of him.
Ben takes another step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to burden you with this now.”
Rey can only nod hectically, while swallowing her own saliva.
“I brought some breakfast. Just some croissants and the tea you like so much.” He explains as though she doesn’t have a mental break down right in front of him. He even affectionately pats her shoulder.
“Thanks, I’ll just…” She sniffs and takes a deep breath to calm herself down. “I’ll head home and shower and then I’ll come back.”
She is a mess as she leaves the store behind and Ben watches her with a worried gaze. He must be so confused by her behaviour. Hell, she is confused by her behaviour. Just yesterday she thought she didn’t care that much about Ben at all and now it is clear as day to her, that she has loved him for quite a while and was just too proud and competitive to admit that to herself.
It’s funny how one bad night can open your eyes.
So Rey goes home and gets ready to tell Ben how she feels. She puts on her nicest dress and brushes her hair. She knows it’s stupid, but she wants to look pretty for him.
Nervously biting her lower lip on the way to the store she thinks of all the different possibilities this conversation could go. But in the end she decides not to let her worries bring her down. After all she is very certain he is still head over heels for her. He simply doesn’t know she feels the same.
With an excited smile on her face she rips the door to the store open. Ben whirls around at her loud entrance.
“What is it with you today?” he asks when he sees her expression, a slight amusement in his voice.
The door loudly falls shut behind her.
She can’t stop herself from smiling. “I’m dense, Ben. I’m really dense.”
And then, before he can make a sarcastic commentary, she walks up to him with determination and though he initially backs away a little, irritated by her sudden energy, he stops moving when he realizes her intent. There are millimetres parting their faces. Their breaths hot against the others skin.
“So dense.” Rey whispers before she closes the gap.