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“Dad. I… I wanna talk to you about something.”
“Just a sec, kiddo,” Terry says, raising his voice over the rushing water. “Got like two more dishes to do.”
Rock swallows thickly and nods before remembering that Terry can’t see them. “Yeah,” they say, so that Terry knows they heard. The anxiety welling up in the pit of their stomach is making them sick. They’re somehow sweating through their shirt and freezing down to their toes. Maybe this was a bad idea. Terry was bisexual, Rock knew that, and most of Terry’s friends were also queer. It was unlikely that he would be upset over this, but what if he was? What if he turned to Rock with a disappointed frown and said that what they were doing, what they were trying to be was wrong?
Before Rock can give into their thoughts, the sink turns off and Terry is pulling a chair back from the table. “So,” he sits down with a grunt, “s’up, kid? Whatcha need?”
Rock freezes. They try to think of something, anything else to say, but their mind is entirely blank.
“I– I’m, um…” Their breaths come out short and quick, and the crease between Terry’s eyebrows deepens. He’s up and by Rock’s side in an instant.
“Rock, what’s wrong?” Rock holds back a sob. “Are you hurt?” Rock shakes their head. “Did you hurt someone else? Or did you… did you do drugs or something?” Rock makes a confused sound and shakes their head again.
“I’m trans,” they blurt.
There’s a moment of silence. Rock doesn’t dare look at Terry’s face, but they sneak a glance when Terry sighs in relief.
“So… no drugs? You don’t need to like, hide a body or anything?”
“Um… n-no?”
Terry barks out a laugh and takes a seat next to them. “So. Thank you for telling me this. I’m glad you trust me, Rookie.” He ruffles Rock’s hair affectionately. “But… you do realize I’m also trans, right?”
Rock feels like the wind’s been knocked out of them. They make a confused sound, because words aren’t really working right now. Terry’s expression of bewilderment mirrors their own.
“Rock… you didn’t know?” Rock shakes their head, lips pressed into a thin line. “But… but how? I’ve never hidden it, how did you…” Terry presses a hand over his face, shoulders shaking, and for a moment, Rock worries that he’s upset. But Terry is trying– and failing– to stifle his laughter. Rock frowns. Terry removes his hand and takes a deep breath before fixing his gaze on Rock.
“Kid, you’ve seen me doing my injections. What did you think they were?”
“I dunno. Just figured it was best not to ask, in case it was too personal.”
“Okay… well, you remember how much my voice was cracking when we first met? And how different I looked back then?”
Rock paused to think for a moment. Yes, Terry’s voice had been all over the place back then– Rock remembers giggling about it whenever Terry raised his voice, and then he’d blush and tell Rock to knock it off with a smile. Rock knew that it was normal for boys to go through that during puberty, and experienced it themselves a few years later… but looking back at it, Terry was well past the age for puberty (not that Rock realized that– anyone above the age of fifteen was basically an adult to a nine-year-old). And Terry had always been muscular, but he’d bulked up rather suddenly a few months after Rock had met him. At the time, they didn’t think anything of it.
“I don’t think I would’ve thought that– that testosterone was why those things were happening.” Rock frowns slightly. “Um, that’s what you inject, right? You’re… transmasculine?”
“Yup,” Terry nods, “50 miligrams every Thursday. And yeah, I can understand that maybe you didn’t question anything ‘cause you were a kid, but what about my top surgery scars?” His eyebrows quirk up. “I had top surgery done two years after we started living together.”
Rock’s face heats up in embarrassment. Now that they’re thinking about it, the scars do make it rather obvious… and Rock is rather oblivious. How did they not know?
Terry starts laughing again, and then he’s coughing, and Rock wants to be upset at the fact that Terry is laughing at them, but Terry has every right to. Rock pouts slightly.
“Okay,” Terry sighs, wiping his eyes, “okay, I’m good now… hey, there’s nothing to be upset about, Rookie. Look at me.” Rock turns their pout to Terry, who ruffles their hair. “It’s fine. I’m just surprised you never thought to question, but also glad that you kinda just accepted me as I am. But we can talk about that later. You’re trans?”
Rock shifts a little uncomfortably. Terry’s hand slides down to their shoulder, a comforting weight, encouraging them to speak. “Yeah… s-so, I… I uh. Well.” Rock clears their throat. Takes a deep breath. They feel small, like the child Terry found on the streets all those years ago. “I don’t really know what I am… um, n-nonbinary, I think? And, uh, agender. Yeah. I don’t really know if those… count as trans, because…” They trail off. Terry frowns and his eyebrows crease together.
“Well of course they count. You’re not cisgendered, are you?” Rock shakes their head. Terry squeezes their shoulder. “Then you’re trans. You know what nonbinary means, right?”
“Not identifying within the gender binary. It’s an umbrella term. And… agender is used to describe a lack of gender. Which falls under nonbinary. I think. I mean… that’s what the internet said. But the internet also said that labels don’t have to be strict, and I can do whatever I want. I just… I like both of those labels, though. Nonbinary and agender.”
“Yeah! Do what makes you comfortable. If those fit, then keep them. And if they don’t, then that’s okay. I used to just be nonbinary, till I realized that I was transmasc. People change, y’know?”
“Yeah.” Some of the tension drains from Rock’s shoulders. Terry squeezes them again. “I’m really tired,” they sigh.
“I know, kiddo. You got really worked up about this, huh?”
“‘M sorry,” Rock mumbles.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m glad you told me, Rookie. Now, should I call you a different name? Pronouns?”
“Rock is still fine. And I want… want to try using they instead of he.” Terry grins down at them before pulling them in for a bone-crushing hug.
“And you’ll tell me if any of this changes?”
“Yeah, I will.” Terry’s smile widens.
“So you’re trans. Like father, like… uh…” Terry falters.
Rock laughs. “You can still call me your son. I’m fine with that.” Terry’s smile turns a bit bashful, but he squeezes them a little tighter. Rock thinks that some of their ribs might be bruised after this, but it’s worth it. Terry really is the best.
