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It was a nice, sunny day in June and Dorian Gray was walking through the park. It was then he spotted some rich guy in heavy furs by the apple trees and decided he wanted a fur like that. He immediately picked up his phone and called Basil, excited to present his amazing new idea. Strangely enough, Basil did not seem very excited about this.
”But Basil, darling,” Dorian cried. ”Don’t you think I would look fantastically adorable in a fur?”
”You’re always adorable, dear,” Basil said tiredly. Dorian sighed dramatically as if to say that Basil didn’t understand a single thing.
”I know I’m adorable, Basil,” he said. ”But there is a difference between being adorable and being fantastically adorable. You don’t understand, I need a fur!”
Dorian looked up at the sky, saw two birds passing by and sighed, saying:
”I really want a fur, Basil.”
”Doesn’t it seem a bit hypocritical to buy a fur when you own at least ten different animals, that, for the rest, have furs?” Basil replied.
”Basil!” Dorian cried out, offended.
”Dorian!” Basil replied in the same tone of voice.
”Henry!” Henry cried, showing up behind Dorian. Dorian heard Basil mumble a ’oh, fuck no’ when Henry’s familiar voice was heard through the phone.
”Dorian, my dear,” Henry said languidly. ”Did I hear you talking about buying a fur?”
”Yes! Isn’t it a great idea?” Dorian cried out. ”Basil, did you hear this? Even Henry thinks it’s a great idea!”
”Dorian…” Basil begun but didn’t finish his sentence.
”Basil?” Dorian replied. ”Darling?”
”Okay, go and buy a fur, for heavens sake! As long as you come home to dinner - I’m making scrambled eggs - and don’t bring Henry with you! Does that sound nice?”
”Henry, Basil invited you to dinner at our place!” Dorian cried out. ”It will be scrambled eggs!”
”NO!” Basil cried, causing Dorian to exclaim:
”Ahh, he said that you can not come for dinner, Harry.”
”Oh God…” Basil muttered as he knew what would come.
”Great!” Henry said. ”I was just about to invite myself over to your place. My wife can not cook for her life; it is absolutely terrible. Did you know, the other night she -”
He was interrupted by Basil marching into the park, grabbing Dorian by the arm and dragging him away, because Basil is done. Just done. And dragging Dorian away from Henry seemed better than to hit Henry with a frying pan. Henry probably could afford a good lawyer and thus, it was doomed to end in tears.
”Do I still get a fur?” Dorian asked curiously while being dragged away.
”Yes,” Basil sighed. ”We’ll go and buy you a fucking fur.”