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Sam never expected to go to Pride. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't homophobic or anything like that, rather opposite, he believed in freedom and being able to decide about your own life. In some ways it was close to his heart… he shook from his mind images of his father's disappointed face, when he told him about Stanford. But it wasn't a place to think about John, it was a happy event. Yes, Sam felt a little bit out of the place, being straight and with his fiance, but his younger friend Kevin needed his support so he came.
Kevin was long in the closet, he refused to date, saying that his studies and work were more important. Sam even suspected that he could be aro-ace, and he was using work as an excuse to not explain himself. Few months ago Sam got a rather big surprise, when Kevin came out as gay. It probably had something to do with finishing his law degree and getting a first real job, that made him independent from his rather strict mother. Who after initial shock accepted him without fussing. It seemed that sometimes fears were bigger than real threats.
Still Kevin didn't feel comfortable going alone to the Pride Parade, but it was probably mostly due to his shyness. So despite that various parades weren't Sam's thing, both he and Jess came with a support. Kevin was their first friend in Los Angeles, when they moved for Jess' job in a prestigious marketing company and they owed him for all his help. Not to mention that it was only a small sacrifice of being in the loud crowd.
It was how Sam found himself, with Jess and Kavin obviously, on his way to the Pride. They gave up on driving, knowing that finding a parking spot would be a challenge, and decided on a walk. They were already fairly close to the place where Pride events were happening when Sam spotted black '67 Chevy Impala parked in front of a bakery named Angel's Cakes. It looked exactly like his father's one, or now more like Dean's baby if he recalled correctly from his brief visit around ten years ago. The only visible difference were LA plates and two flags, gay and bi one, attached to the radio antenna. Seeing that car brought Sam so many memories, not only bad. It reminded him also about when he saw the "right" Impala for the last time.
After so many years Sam didn't regret that he didn't go with Dean to look for their father, the old man didn't deserve it. The only thing that he regretted was telling his brother to never contact him again. The older he got the more he started to understand that with obedience Dean only tried to protect him from John. He was just to young and stupid to comprehend the sacrifices his older brother kept doing. With passing time Sam started to miss him. He also became worried, if Dean even was ok, hunters life was anything but safe. Unfortunately he couldn't find or contact him. Even Bobby, his last chance, disappeared from South Dakota, making it impossible to find Dean. He still didn't give up looking for information about strange, possible supernatural deaths that could attract his brother. But he still didn't have any clues.
Sam didn't even realize that he stopped walking and just stood there looking at the baby's lookalike.
"Sam? Everything ok?" Jess asked worriedly.
"Hmmm? Ah, yes yes!" he smiled trying to reassure her.
"Something happened?"
"No, it's just this car looks exactly like the one my father had, and now my brother. I spent my entire childhood in her, she was basically the only home we had, motel rooms don't count. Seeing this Impala just brought memories." Sam reluctantly explained.
"Still no luck in finding your brother?" Kevin joined their conversation.
"Not even a little. I'm starting to lose hope," he admitted quietly.
"He couldn't just disappear, you're going to find him," Jess assured. She still had no idea about hunting and the supernatural, so she didn't know how much danger Dean was facing on a daily basis.
"I hope so…" he looked at the familiar looking back bumper of Impala. "I just want to apologize for how I treated him. Until I started working with victims of home abuse I wasn't aware how much Dean sacrificed for me. Older siblings often try to protect the younger ones and take the abuse on themselves. Dean was so good at it that I never even realized how bad it was. I was angry at him for siding with John and being his good soldier and didn't see how much he did for me and that he too just tried to survive…" he delicately touched the car, not caring that it couldn't be the same one. "Let's go! It's supposed to be a happy day."
Jessica looked at him with small doubt if he truly was ok, but let it go, probably planning to talk to him after the event.
*
Turned out that despite the appearance of old ghosts it actually was a happy day. Kevin absolutely loved the entire thing and made a few new friends. Sam and Jess didn't get that magical feeling of belonging, of being between "your people", but still the positive atmosphere and energy radiating from everyone affected them in a good way. After the main event, the parade, they were wandering between different stands offering various pride themed items. From food, through t-shirts and to small things like pins and key rings. They tried some colorful cupcakes and pies, yes pies, from Angel's Cakes they passed on their way to the Pride and all three of them wanted to visit that bakery someday.
They were slowly thinking about going home when suddenly Jess caught Sam's hand and stopped him in his tracks.
"I'm wrong or that man over there looks exactly like your brother?"
Without any hope Sam turned towards the direction Jess pointed. He fully expected to see someone barely close in look to Dean. Let's face the truth, Jess saw him only once, in the late evening, and he had only one photo of the two of them, from his high school graduation. Fully aware that after all this time even he could probably have problems with recognising his brother, he absolutely didn't expect his girlfriend to be able to. Sam also didn't mention how ridiculous the idea of Dean at the Pride event of any sort seemed to him. His brother was one of the straightest men he ever met, full of toxic masculinity taught him by their father, maybe even homophobia, but Sam wasn't sure if Dean took that too after John. So Dean Winchester and the rainbow events weren't compatible.
Unless…. Unless it was for a hunt… it didn't matter that Sam didn't want to have anything to do with hunting, he still knew the reality of that life. Sometimes various sacrifices were necessary in that job in order to kill a monster. Suddenly feeling bad for hoping that hunt could bring his brother here he concentrated on looking for a man his fiance pointed to him.
Not noticing anything even remotely interesting, he told Jess that.
"There!" she pointed one more time with determination. "Right beside Angel's Cakes stand, in white shirt and pink, purple and blue shorts."
This time Sam was able to find him without any trouble. Unfortunately now he was standing with his back to them, but even with so little information Sam must admit that his posture looked familiar. Hope swelled in his chest for a moment to disappear just a second letter.
Two little girls run straight to him, screaming "Dad", and showing him their rainbow coloured ice-creams. They looked to be around five, both had blonde hair, but in different shades, styled with rainbow bows and white t-shirts with "I love my daddies" in rainbow letters. Right after them followed dark haired man with also white t-shirt, but decorated with flag that, thanks to Kevin, Sam recognized as a "gay" one. He was pushing a stroller with another child and kissed Dean's lookalike in greeting.
They were clearly a family so there was not a chance for him to actually be Dean. He wanted to tell Jess that unfortunately she was wrong when that man finally turned towards them.
And shit, he looked exactly like his Dean. Sam was absolutely speechless. The resemblance was astonishing, it was his brother just older.
Without control over his body Sam started to walk towards their direction. Still he was bracing for disappointment, there was no chance that Dean was in a relationship with a man, but he just needed to make sure. He would never forgive himself if he passed up the opportunity to find Dean, so he was ready to take even the most bizarre chance.
"Dean?" He asked tentatively, when he was close enough, figuring out that he had nothing to lose.
Man in question once again turned towards him and his eyes widened in recognition after a few very long seconds of confusion.
"Sammy?"
Saying that Sam's heart stopped and his entire world shook in its foundations wasn't enough to describe how he was feeling in this moment. After months, no, years of looking for Dean resulted in meeting him by accident in the last possible place.
Seeing that his brother clearly wasn't sure if this meeting was welcomed by him, he threw himself at Dean and hugged him tightly. After initial shock the older man returned the embrace with the same enthusiasm. They pulled apart when one of the girls from before (Oh my God! Dean's daughter?) asked.
"Papa, who's daddy hugging?"
Sam looked at Dean questioningly, afraid to ask. He ignored him completely and crouched down to the little girl.
"Claire, it's my younger brother Sam."
"Like Papa and uncle Gabe?" the little one asked, peeking curiously at the newcomer.
"Yes, exactly," Dean praised in a soft voice Sam didn't recognise.
"So he is our uncle too?" The other girl stopped right beside her sister.
Dean looked troubled for a moment before confirming her assumption. With a soft smile he stood up and turned towards his brother.
"Sam, meet my family."
Despite seeing this with his own eyes, the younger man still had a hard time believing in this. His brother being a father? It sounded ridiculous. And yet it seemed that it was what happened.
Not sensing or maybe simpli ignoring Sam's discomfort Dean greeted Jessica who just joined them.
"Oh hey. Jess, right? I see that you stick to my brother for all those years." He shook her hand and moved to introduce his family. "This is my husband, Castiel," he stood beside that dark haired man and put arm around his waist. "These two blonde demons are our twins, Claire and Emma," he pointed first at a girl with lighter, more golden hair color, and later at the one with darker, perfectly matching her father. "And here is our youngest, Jack," Dean indicated, a maybe year old baby in the stroller.
"It's nice to finally meet Dean's brother, he told me a lot about you." Seeing Castiel's, what type of name it was, smile Sam had no doubt that he knew the truth about their last meeting.
"I was trying to find you," immediately assured Sam, hoping that Dean was going to believe him. "I tried everything I could think of. I even tried to contact Bobby, but he disappeared from South Dakota…. Is he…?"
Dean looked at him for a moment, not understating before he caught up.
"Oh no, Bobby is ok. He finally found his balls and asked Ellen out, they even married like three years ago."
"Who is Ellen?" asked confused Jessica, but Sam felt the same.
"Grandma," resolutely stated Emma like it was the most obvious thing, but it only surprised Sam and Jess even more.
"Yes, grandma Ellen." Dean smiled at his daughter and stroked her hair. "Oh right, you never met Ellen. She has a bar for hunters in Arizona. Her first husband Bill was a friend of John, but father blamed himself for his death so he never visited her again. I met her mostly by accident while on a hunt."
For a moment Sam was so surprised with Dean talking so openly about hunting that he didn't even think about the fact that Jess was also listening.
"Hunting? You hunt animals?" she asked unhappy, as she recently was very invested in the wellbeing of all living creatures.
"She still doesn't know?" Dean was clearly surprised by that fact. "Don't worry Jessica, no animal was hurt by any of us," he added louder.
"Castiel does…?" Sam retorted in disbelief.
"Of course it's a matter of safety," replied Castiel, Dean's husband… it sounded so weird.
"So you still…?" Sam tried to ask about his brother's job without alarming his fiance.
"No, I'm out of that life," he firmly shook his head. "Unless something is nearly knocking on my door or somebody needs advice."
Jess looked confused by that exchange but didn't comment on it. Still Sam suspected that he was going to need to explain everything about his past to her before the night. It was a terrifying perspective, but if it was the price for getting Dean back to his life he was ready to pay it.
"Maybe we can go to our bakery to sit and catch up?" Castiel interrupted. "I'm pretty sure that you have many questions, Sam."
"Your bakery?"
Both men pointed at Angel's Cakes sign behind them.
"It's yours?" Jess exclaimed, because Sam was too shocked.
"It's Cas' and his brother Gabe, he too is somewhere here with his husband."
"So we are happy to accept your invitation," Jess decided.
"What about Kevin?" worried Sam. "We came here for him."
"Some guy asked him out, so he would ditch us anyway. When I saw you with Dean I told him we are leaving."
In the meantime Castiel informed the girl working on his stand about him leaving and asked to let Gabe know. When both Sam and Jess confirmed that they are ready to go, Dean and his family led the shortest way to their destination.
Sam, still in shock, watched as his tough and reckless brother, who seemed to be allergic to commitment, took the hand of Claire and his other arm used to embrace Castiel. Soon they reached their destination and found themselves in the closed bakery.
Using the fact that Jess was distracted by little Jack, who just woke up and demanded to be picked up, Sam asked a question that was bothering him the entire way.
"What about John?"
"Dead. About a year and half after our meeting. I never found him, I was sure that he was already dead when I got a phone call from him. He told me that he found the Yellow Eye and how to kill him. Before I got to him it was already over. He sacrificed himself to kill the bastard." He paused and added. "I wanted to tell you but you already moved from your previous address and I decided that you probably didn't care. I don't blame you."
With sigh Sam processed the information about his father's death. He hated John for many things but still, knowing that he was dead was weird. Thankfully, Sam for a long time suspected that so it didn't affect him so much.
"I'm not angry that you didn't look for me, but if you did maybe we would keep in touch."
"Or maybe you would still not be ready," replied Dean without bitterness. "I'm not angry about what happened that night. I just appeared from nowhere and wanted to rip you from your life, you were right to be angry."
Sam smiled a little bit sadly, but relieved that Dean wasn't holding the grudge against him. Looking towards his brother's not so little family who, with help from Jess, was preparing some drinks and snacks for all of them, he admitted with a teasing smile.
"I never for a moment suspected that I would find you like that."
"With a man?" Dean laughed. "With our father it wasn't possible, so I simply limited myself to the safe half of me."
"Oh, I didn't mean like that," Sam quickly denied. "I mean… Yes, it was a big surprise too. When Jess pointed at you and said that she found a man looking like you I nearly told her that it was impossible. Because what could my straight brother be doing on Pride?" he admitted, shaking his head in disbelief. "But what I meant was that I didn't expect you to have a family. Gosh Dean! You're a father of three! I thought that…" he didn't finish.
"I'm going to die a hunter," Dean did it for him. "Yeah, I thought that too. I didn't plan to stop hunting, it was everything I knew. I managed to save you from that but I didn't see an out for myself."
Sam wanted to ask more, specifically about what changed, but Castiel waved them to the table where the twins were already sitting and drawing. When they came to the sitting area, Dean picked his son from a stroller and offered him a bottle handed to him by his husband. Once again Sam was struck with the view of his brother in such a domestic environment.
"So how did the two of you meet?" Jess asked excitedly. "From what little Sam told me about his life before college and his family, I saw Dean as a ladies man."
Mentioned men looked at each other and Dean nodded at his husband.
"Oh it was mostly an accident and a little bit of my brother meddling," replied Castiel and looked with adoration at his partner feeding their son. "Dean worked in the area and was coming here for my pie. Gabe, my brother noticed how much I was attracted to him so when I lost a bet he made me ask him out. I was sure that with my luck he is going to be straight or taken. But he got so flustered," Castiel smiled fondly at the memories. "He started to stutter and tripped over the table. At that moment I knew that he was mine." He smiled mischievously, and Dean literally blushed. "I was sure that I was going to need to work on him for far longer, but he agreed for a date the first time I asked."
"And everything just clicked between us," added Dean, and kissed Castiel tenderly over their son's head. "After that I ditched hun… my precious life. It was like… nine years ago, nearly ten."
Sam was stunned once again, it looked like his brother got free from hunting life much faster than he suspected. It was when their father was still alive if he counted this correctly.
"Did John know?" he asked tentatively.
"No, I never get a chance to tell him," Dean shrugged, indifferent. "That time when I came for you, when he went missing, he was after the White Lady. He ditched everything at the motel. It didn't look good, so when after some time I couldn't contact or find him, I assumed that he was dead. Moved on with my life. When I suddenly got a phone call from him all those months later, we were already married."
Once again Jess looked at his fiance with questions written all over her face. "Later," he promised.
"So what are you doing now?" It was another thing that vividly interested Sam.
"I'm restoring antique cars," Dean's face lit up when he started talking about his job. "At the beginning I worked at different garages, but now I have my own," he smiled proudly. "I work with Cas' brother in law, Balthazar. He is finding clients and cars, and I'm making their wishes come true."
"Dean is doing extremely well," his husband praised even more proudly than he himself. "It's why we were able to afford a surrogate for our precious little monsters." Castiel fondly patted his daughter Claire's head, when she tried to steal a small piece of pie from his Papa's plate.
"Enough about me. How's your life Sammy?"
Despite how much he hated that nickname, he didn't bother to correct it, simply too happy to see his brother.
The next few hours were spent exchanging stories from the past ten years. They talked about Sam's law studies and his job at the prosecutor's office, about their reasons to move to LA and Jess' new job, also about their wedding coming in four short months, they needed to make a lot of changes to accommodate Sam's new old family. Jess was more than happy to add more guests to the list. They also talked more about the life of Dean and Cas, how he insisted on being called. Even after those hours they still had a lot more to talk so they decided to meet again on the next day, over at Cas and Dean's house.
When they separated in the early evening, because the kids needed to go home after a long day, Dean without hesitation embraced Sam in a long hug.
"Good that you found me."
On their way home Sam was mentally preparing himself to reveal the supernatural to Jess, hoping that she was going to believe him and not react badly. Despite those rather dark thoughts, he was unbelievably happy. He not only got his brother back, but gained an entire family with a brother in law, two nieces and nephew. And maybe he could get uncle Bobby back too.
This evening's talk was going to be hard, he was sure of it, but everything was going to be ok, good even. He fully believed in it.
And he needed to thank Kevin for his invitation to the Pride.