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He’s not sure how much more of this he can take. Running a business from the ground up was much harder, stressful, and much more work then he could've ever imagined.
It was like he had nobody. Nobody to comfort him when things got hard, nobody to calm him down when things got stressed out, and nobody to cheer him on or slap him on the back when he accomplished something.
The two closest people in his life were gone. Each in different ways.
It was different..the ways they were gone from him. Tsumu was gone, and he would never come back, could never come back. Rin was away because he chose to be. He left him when he was at his worst, when he lost his brother.
He was left with not even little to nothing, he was left with completely nothing. He didn’t have the same familiar home he had always had with his twin brother, and he didn’t have the comfortable space he did with his..ex..lover. He didn’t even have his mother, since she had left with Atsumu, at the same place, and the same time, and their father never was around.
Osamu was stressed out, and depressed. He got overwhelmed easily, but he had to push himself, because he knew if not him taking care of the business, no one else would.
There were many times he wanted to give up, curl into a bawl, and just cry until he couldn’t anymore, and die right after. Sometimes, he just wanted to make the process go a lot faster and cut to the chase of killing himself.
But of course, he didn’t. He had to continue, no matter how hard it was, or how lonely he was. He wanted to achieve his dreams, solely because Atsumu wanted him to achieve his dreams. Atsumu remembers how excited Osamu was about all of this, and how he was so in love with cooking, he always had been, and that was pretty much his last wish before he..left, their mother already dead next to him.
Osamu had been the only one to survive the accident, and he was going to be successful, not because he wanted to, or even loved food, or anything for that matter, like he did before, but because Atsumu, his twin brother, only wanted him to do that. And he was going to do that, no matter how much he wanted to mutilate himself.