Chapter Text
2 years later
Yaz woke up to her alarm. That was a surprise. She leant over to switch it off, going to sit up but was pulled back down by Rae who had a grasp on her waist. “Don’t leave me,” she complained sleepily.
“We both need to get up, you goof.” She said, kissing her. “Plus I don’t like it when the twins don’t wake us up. Makes me think they’re up to something.”
“They’re probably plotting world domination,” Rae said sincerely. “Leave ‘em to it.”
Yaz chuckled, “it’s also Ayla’s first day at secondary school. We need to get up, Rae.”
Rae huffed. “Suppose you have a point. I’ll take monster duty, you take Ayla,” Rae gave in and sat up.
Yaz threw her dressing gown on and pulled her hair up out of the way before going down to Ayla’s room. She could hear Rae in the twins’ room, clearly tickling them out of bed. They’d just moved into big girl beds, and Amirah was sleeping great. Aliana was a little more trouble, but once she got to sleep it was fine.
She knocked on Ayla’s door gently, and when she didn’t get an answer, she opened it up. “Ayla love, time to get up,” called as she walked in. Ayla grumbled and turned over to face the wall. Yaz smiled lovingly, sitting down on the edge of her bed. “Hey baby girl, no more lie-ins now. Time for school.”
Normally there were no issues getting Ayla up for school, but Yaz wasn’t surprised that she was reluctant today. She was nervous about starting at secondary school. Changes were difficult for Ayla, and this was no different. “I don’t want to go Mummy,” she whimpered.
Yaz rubbed her arm comfortingly. “I know sweetheart, I know you’re scared, but you’ll be okay. Lily will be there, and you’re in the same tutor group which is good,” she told her.
“We might not be in the same classes though,” Ayla did finally turn to face Yaz and then sat up.
“And if not then that’s okay, you’ll make other friends,” Yaz told her. “Everyone else will be nervous too, even if they don’t show it.”
“Did you get nervous when you went to big school?” Ayla asked, leaning into her Mum.
Yaz put an arm around her. “Definitely. I didn’t go to secondary school with any of my friends and I was super scared, but it was okay and I made loads of new friends,” she told her. Wasn’t worth mentioning the fact that she’d ultimately met Ayla’s Dad there, or the bullying. Yaz was trying not to think about that, it was only making her nervous about what Ayla was heading into.
“I hope I have maths and science today,” she replied quietly.
“That’s more like it,” Yaz smiled. “One step at a time, yeah? Get yourself washed and dressed. Any problems come and find me, otherwise I’ll see you for breakfast, is that okay?” Ayla nodded. “Good girl,” she kissed her forehead and stood up to go and see how Rae was getting on.
When she went into the twins room, Rae was on the floor with two toddlers climbing all over her. “Mummy help, they’ve got me!"
Yaz rolled her eyes, "you got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out of it. But we need to be ready in an hour," she added and went to get herself ready.
Last year they'd made the decision to turn part of their bedroom into a small but functional shower room. It was a lot of work, but ultimately worth every penny because having 1 bathroom to get 3 children and 2 adults ready every day was no longer practical. Yaz got herself ready up there, and then went down to start organising breakfast.
It was somewhat of an art, getting breakfast for everyone, but Yaz had gotten good at it. She laid out the bowl for Rae and Ayla's cereal, and put the bread in for the twins' toast. Then she chopped up strawberries and put them in 2 little pots with some chopped blueberries, before doing some more to go with her own yoghurt for breakfast. One lot of toast had peanut butter, the other strawberry jam. Everything was laid out on the table just as two sets of feet came padding downstairs and into the kitchen. Yaz crouched down to their level for a hug. "Good morning my little angels, are you ready for some breakfast?"
"Yes Mummy!" They replied together before climbing up onto their chairs (with a bit of help). Yaz put some juice in cups for them too.
"I can tell Mama dressed you two today," she chuckled. Amirah was in her favourite dinosaur dungarees with a bright yellow top that definitely clashed, and Aliana was in a red top and pink leggings.
Aliana looked up at her, "I choose!"
"Yes that's what I mean kiddo," Yaz chuckled and stood behind her to sort her hair while they ate. There wasn't enough time otherwise.
She got both girls' hair into plaits just before Ayla appeared in her school uniform. It all looked far too big on her, but she'd grow into it. Yaz had to stop herself from tearing up. "Mum don't cry," she went over and hugged Yaz.
Busted.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, just weird to see you all grown up. I'm just getting soppy," she hugged her back briefly. "Everything's laid out, help yourself," Yaz told her and Ayla went over to the kitchen.
Yaz had her own breakfast, and Rae joined them too. She also made tea in takeaway mugs for them, which Yaz loved her for.
Then it was time to get everyone dressed for the school run. They wouldn't normally make the trip as a full family, just Yaz or Rae would take her, but today was Ayla's first day and she really wanted both of her parents there. Rae was zipping up the twins' coats while Yaz was helping Ayla.
"We checked your bag last night sweetheart, you've got everything," Yaz reassured her. "Come on, get your shoes on."
Ayla nodded, zipping up her backpack and going to put her shoes on. Rae went out to get Aliana and Amirah strapped in, and Yaz stayed in. "What if I get scared Mummy?" Ayla asked.
She'd been flitting between Mummy and Mum a lot more recently. And Mama and Mam for Rae. Yaz had spotted it, and she'd also clicked on how she would use Mummy when she was scared or upset. "Remember what we talked about. Count to ten, take a deep breath, remember we love you whatever happens. If all else fails, the school can phone me, but we should try and avoid that happening if we can."
Ayla stood up, "Okay. I can do it."
"That's my girl," she gave her a hug. "Grab your bag, let's get going."
They didn't park right by the school. For one it would be chaos, but also Yaz and Georgia had talked and they wanted Ayla and Lily to walk the last bit together. They'd agreed on a meeting point and Yaz parked up there. Georgia was already there with Lily, her step-Dad and step-brother. Yaz spotted Lily starting to head for their car, but Georgia stopped her.
Yaz got out, and opened Ayla's door for her. Ayla got out too, and immediately hugged Yaz. "Hey, you're going to be just fine. Remember what we talked about. I'll pick you up here at half 3, okay?"
Ayla nodded and reluctantly separated. Then Lily and Georgia came to meet them as Rae also joined in. "Go smash it, I want to hear all about all the clever things you've learned later," Rae told her, giving a quick hug.
"We'll be alright Ayla, it's gonna be fun!" Lily told her best friend.
"You both know the way from here, but we will follow at a distance today just to be sure. Is that okay?" Georgia asked them.
Both girls agreed, and then it was time. They said goodbyes, and started walking. Yaz spotted Ayla glancing back a couple of times, but she just smiled reassuringly at her and left it there. "Must be hard for her," Georgia commented.
"Mmm, if I'm honest I expected this morning to be a lot worse than it was. Ayla's getting better, much better than when she started primary school, but I think the past still haunts her more than any of us will admit," Yaz shrugged. "I'm glad Lily's there, I think she'll help a lot."
"I agree, I think it's good for both of them to have that little constant between the two schools," Georgia said.
They followed, a few metres away, until they headed up the school entrance path. At that point, they turned back to their cars.
When Yaz climbed back in, Rae was playing peek-a-boo with the twins, kneeling on the passenger seat and bobbing her head up and down. They were enjoying it greatly. "Hey look, Mummy's back!" Rae said when Yaz got in.
"Mummy! No Ayla?" Amirah asked.
Yaz looked around, "no baby, Ayla's gone to school. We will see her later. Time for us to go home for a bit."
They'd decided, as Ayla going back to school was bound to unsettle Amirah and Aliana, that today was the perfect day to go to soft play. So about 11am, they made their way to their favourite soft play centre.
The mission usually was to follow a twin each. Some days they would stick together like glue, sometimes they would do completely their own thing, and you could never predict which one it would be. They walked in and met Clara in the entrance.
“Raaa!” Liam, Clara’s youngest, ran straight to Rae. He loved Rae.
“Hello little man,” Rae crouched down and high fived him. “Are you being good for Mummy?”
“Mummy sad, Ellie go,” he told her.
“Ah mate, she’ll be back later. We’re going to have lots of fun in soft play,” Rae reassured him.
That did the trick, and he immediately started running around the reception with Aliana, while Amirah watched, holding on to Yaz’s hand as Rae paid their entries.
“Mummy’s sad, huh?” Yaz said to Clara while they waited.
Clara smiled sheepishly, “just weird that she’s growing up.”
“I know how that feels,” Yaz told her. “It gets easier, promise. How was Ellie?”
“Couldn’t have cared less that I was leaving her, ran off with Alfie to class, left Amy and I stood looking like crying fools! Picking her up at half 12, are you sure I’m okay to leave Liam with you?”
Yaz rolled her eyes, “for the hundredth time, yes it’s absolutely fine. You spend a couple of hours with El, I’ll drop him to you on my way to pick up Ayla.”
“Thanks, sorry, just a bit thrown I guess,” she replied.
Once their entry was paid for, they all made their way inside. Liam and Aliana ran to the climbing section together, with Rae and Clara following at high speed. Amirah, meanwhile, was standing just inside the entrance looking a little overwhelmed. She was much less outgoing than her sister. Yaz crouched down. “What do you want to do sweetheart? Do you want to join your sister?”
“No. Bubbles pwease,” she pointed towards the back of the room.
There was a sensory area at the back of the building that Amirah loved. There was a large bubble tube in there which she meant. “Alright then, let’s go,” she told her.
They went into the room, which was empty other than them. Amirah dragged her Mummy to the beanbags, and they sat down together. “Did you not feel like playing today?” Yaz asked.
“Miss Ayla,” Amirah replied, watching the lights and bubbles.
Yaz shifted her in her lap. “I know baby, but she’ll be home later, and she wouldn’t want you to feel sad. But it’s okay, we can stay here for a bit, I know you like it,” she told her.
A few minutes later, Clara joined them. “Rae said she’s fine with the troublesome twosome, how are we in here?”
Yaz looked up, stroking Amirah’s hair softly. “Just relaxing for a little bit. Someone’s missing their big sister,” she explained.
“Ah yes, I see,” Clara sat down beside them.
“Cuddle?” Amirah looked over to Clara.
“Of course, come here kiddo,” Clara opened her arms, and Amirah moved to her. “It’s okay to miss Ayla, Liam misses Ellie too.”
“He no sad, I sad,” Amirah replied.
“Ami sad?”
Yaz looked up to see Aliana standing at the door, Rae following shortly behind with Liam. “Come play Ami,” Aliana went over to her sister. “Make you happy.”
She could see Amirah considering the idea. “Go on, you’ll have fun,” Clara encouraged her.
“Okay,” Amirah stood up and followed her sister and Liam back out.
The adults quickly jumped up to follow. “They have such a great relationship,” Clara said as they followed them back.
Rae smiled. “Y’know Ali was merrily playing, then suddenly stopped and said she had to find Amirah to make her feel better. Or something like that, anyway.”
“Scares me when they do that,” Yaz chuckled. “Right, we’d better follow these crazy toddlers.”
Yaz and Georgia were standing talking by their cars, waiting for the girls to appear. Yaz was nervous, but was hopefully doing a good job at hiding it. Rae had stayed home with the twins, and when she’d left Amy was there with Alfie.
“Here they come,” Georgia stood up from where she’d been leaning against the car. Yaz followed.
She tried to assess Ayla’s facial expressions. The girls were chatting away, she seemed happy?
Once they were close, the girls both ran over to give their Mums a big hug. “Hey you, how was your day?” Yaz asked Ayla.
“I had maths and science! And Lily’s in my maths and english lessons with me, and we made new friends too!” Ayla told her excitedly.
“Yeah, we met a girl called Laura who’s in my science class and our form group, she just moved here so didn’t know anyone. And there was another student called Alex, they’re super cool, they didn’t know anyone either so we invited them to sit with us at lunch,” Lily explained.
Georgia smiled at them, “well that’s lovely of you both. Same time, same place tomorrow?” she checked with Yaz.
“Yep, see you here,” Yaz replied, and they got into the car. “Are you feeling better about school now?”
Ayla nodded, “yeah. You were right Mummy, it was fun. Laura and Alex are really nice too. We missed the first lesson today and had a long tutor group instead, and they said we could say something about ourselves. I said how I do dance and gym, Lily talked about her horse. Then Alex told everyone how they’re non-binary and some people didn’t get it so the teacher explained and everyone was really nice. Alex said people aren’t always nice about it, but I told them Lily and I would always be nice and they can stick with us.”
Yaz smiled as she drove, “you’re a very kind girl sweetheart,” she told her. “I’m really proud of you.”
“It’s not nice when people are mean just because you’re seen as different, that’s what Mama says,” Ayla replied. “Alex goes roller skating and said we should go with them sometime.”
Sounds dangerous.
“I’m sure that would be lovely,” Yaz replied, ignoring her initial thoughts.
They arrived home to find Amirah and Aliana both watching out of the window for their return. As Yaz pulled the car up they disappeared and then the front door opened to Rae doing her best to hold the both back from running out. They both called for Ayla, who gave them both a hug as soon as she was in. Her sisters immediately started telling her about their soft play fun, in the way 2-year-olds did. “You need to go and change for dance Ayla,” Yaz told her.
“I will!” She called back, but was being dragged into the lounge to look at some drawings.
“How was it?” Rae asked.
Yaz slipped her shoes off. “She really enjoyed it, and made some friends too. Apparently she has maths homework that she wants your help with, so I suggested you could look at it while I make dinner?”
“Sounds like a plan. What time is her dance class now? I lose track,” Rae checked.
“Half 6 till 8,” Yaz reminded her. “It’s nearly 4 now, I’ll do dinner for half 5,” she explained, and then went into the lounge. “Come on you two, let your sister go and change,” she said to Ali and Ami. “Shall we put the TV on for a bit before I make dinner?”
“Yeah!” came the shouts from both girls. “Peppa!”
Yaz resisted the urge to groan, she hated that pig. “Alright then, we’ll watch some Peppa for a little bit,” she grabbed the remote and sat down. Ayla disappeared upstairs, and the twins joined her.
She heard Rae go up too, and they didn’t come back down so Yaz figured they were looking at the homework. Apparently they’d been given a week to do it, but Ayla had always been keen on getting homework done as soon as she could, especially with all her after school activities.
3 episodes of Peppa later, Yaz was more than ready to turn the TV off. She sat Amirah and Aliana at the dining table with some drawing materials and started on dinner. The open plan kitchen/diner was particularly helpful with having two toddlers. They’d started this routine of having them sit down before dinner recently, it worked to calm them down before they ate and the bedtime routine began. Yaz was hoping, given their long run around this morning, they’d sleep well tonight.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t working quite so well tonight. Yaz turned her back for just a second and when she looked back around, Aliana was trying to draw on her sister. “Aliana!” Yaz dropped what she was doing and went over, quickly removing the offending article from her hand.
She had got Amirah with the red pen on her arm. Amirah started crying, she hated getting mucky in any way. “Alright sweetheart, it’s just a little pen,” Yaz picked her up out of the chair and then looked to Aliana. “Now what have I told you about this, Aliana?”
“Only draw paper,” she replied. “I sorry Ami.”
“Good girl for apologising. I’m going to take your papers away for two minutes, you can have them back if you’re good,” she told her, moving the paper to the other end of the table and then turning her attention back to Amirah.
She was about to speak when Rae appeared. “I heard crying, everything okay?” Rae asked.
Yaz nodded, giving her the ‘I’ll explain later’ look. “Can you stir the sauce? Just need to take Ami to the bathroom,” she said. “Aliana is on time out for two minutes. After that she can have the paper and pens back if she’s been good,” Yaz added.
“Will do,” Rae replied.
“Come on sweetpea,” she said to Amirah who was silently crying into her shoulder. “We’ll get it off, don’t worry, you’ll be okay.”
“Don’t like it,” Ami said quietly.
Yaz sat her down on the toilet seat, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it down, gently rubbing the pen off her. “Are you upset with Aliana?” she asked.
“Ali say sorry,” Amirah replied.
“She did, that was very nice of her. It’s still okay to be sad about it. Will you be okay when we go back down and you’re all clean?” Yaz checked.
“I be okay,” she said.
Yaz put the cloth back once the pen was off and kissed her forehead. “That’s my brave girl. Shall we go and see if Ayla is ready for dinner?”
Amirah ended up making Ayla carry her downstairs. Yaz rolled her eyes, the twins had their big sister wrapped around their little fingers sometimes. They all sat up at the table, and Yaz served up dinner.
Sitting down at the table as a family of five was still strange sometimes. Yaz never thought she’d have this, but despite all the trials and tribulations, this was the best she could ask for.