Chapter Text
Peter knocked on the door to Nat and Maria's apartment in the Avengers Compound. They were going to be the most accepting, right? At least, that's what he told himself. He hadn't told anyone and he really needed help. Nat had survived being gay in Russia, she would know how to help. They both had also always been his biggest supporters: helping him get a haircut, telling him it's okay to like girls and always calling him 'P' and 'spidey' when he asked everyone to. He hadn't told anyone he was trans and that he used he/him pronouns and that his name was Peter but if any two people knew how to help or knew how to come out it had to be them.
"It's open," he heard Nat call from inside the apartment. He could also hear Maria's comment asking if they were in an alternate universe because someone was actually knocking.
"Hi," he called out to them as he took his shoes off. Maria said it was a European thing Nat insisted on but Wanda and Nat always argued it saved on cleaning. He put on the slippers that Nat had bought him as a joke but they were actually comfy.
"Aren't you meant to be home?" Maria asked as he walked into the living room, "Does your Aunt May know you're still here?"
"It's fine, she's working late and she knows," Peter tried to brush off their worry but he knew he wasn't going to get a word in edgeways until 20 Questions was over.
Nat appeared in the doorway from the kitchen, "Have you eaten then?" she asked. He hadn't, he'd spent most of his time outside their door building up the courage to knock. "I'll take the silence as a 'no'," Nat decided, going back into the kitchen.
"I'm fine," he tried to insist, he really wanted this over with.
"I saw your training today, P, you need to eat something," Maria told him. They were almost as bad as Aunt May with their worrying. "Do you need me to check over any homework?" Maria asked him as Nat walked back in.
"I put a pizza in the oven, it should be ready in ten minutes," Nat told him.
"Thank you and no, I think it's fine," he answered both their questions but they both still stared at him weirdly. He hadn't sat down. He was acting weird.
"Are you okay?" Maria asked him, patting the sofa next to her. His legs worked and he made his way over to his spot on the sofa. At my minute, his legs felt like they could collapse underneath him and his whole body was covered in a layer of sweat. He must look as bad as he felt because Nat was pressing her hand against her forehead.
"Well you're not running a temperature," she sat down in the chair kind of opposite him, "What's going on?"
Deep breath. He rehearsed it in his head a hundred times. I think- No. I am a boy. I am transgender. I am a man. My name is Peter. I want to use he/him pronouns and then apologise for the whole Spidey awkwardness. He's got this. He's got this. Deep breath.
"Umm," he could hear his voice shaking, "I need to tell you something." Don't cry. Don't cry. Crying was not in the plan.
"What is it?" Maria asked him softly. He could see them both exchange a look. "No judgement here," she added.
"I think-" No. Not I think. I am. "I am," he started again, "I'm a boy," he said it. Finally, he said it out loud to another living breathing human being and it was like it opened floodgates, "As in a man like a trans man, like transgender. Female to male transgender-"
"P," Natasha cut him off, "We understand," she told him with a soft smile, "You're a boy." He just nodded. He was a boy. They believed him. Don't cry. He promised he wouldn't cry.
"P?" Maria asked him, catching his attention, "Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us. We love you and we are so proud of you for coming to a point where you feel you can express your identity, I know it's not easy." Don't cry he told himself again but it was useless, he was already crying.
"Okay," Nat quickly sat next to him and wrapped him in a hug. He couldn't refuse it. Everyone knew Nat gave the best hugs in the Avengers, "I know it's a huge emotional release and relief, it's okay to cry." Her hand stroked his hair, "I do need to know two important things though: pronouns and name?"
He moved his head so he could actually see Nat. Maria as well, she had moved to sit on the coffee table in front of him, "He/him and Peter," he told them, wiping his eyes on his jumper.
"Is that why you asked us to call you 'P'?" Maria asked him.
He nodded, "I'm sorry, I know this is going to be awkward with me being Spid-"
"Nope," Maria cut him off, "No, it's not going to be awkward, it's going to be fine, your gender identity is not a burden on us to handle, it's something we're happy to sort out so you can be most comfortable."
"Plus I'm sure Tony will have a great time announcing the new Spiderman," Nat laughed. Peter could only laugh too. Nat had called him Spiderman. He was Spiderman. Man. Spider-Man.
"Oh god," Maria groaned next to them, "What if he throws Spiderman a gender reveal party? That's something that Tony would do." It only made him laugh more imagining Iron Man and Captain America setting off fireworks and blue powder in the name of a gender reveal party for him. It would be kind of fun.
"Tony would send out a press release saying something like your doctors were unqualified and got it wrong at birth," Natasha added with a laugh.
Maria sighed, "Don't make me think about it too hard, maybe Pepper can stop him from going overboard," she turned to face him, "Not a burden still, Tony is the constant problem, you're perfect, Peter," she told him. Peter couldn't even laugh at the slight on Mr Stark. She used his name. He'd used it in his head. He'd said it in the mirror. No one had ever said it to him.
"First time?" Natasha read his face. He nodded again, he was pretty sure he'd lost the power of speech as he started to cry again. They were happy tears this time. Very happy tears. Nat hugged him closer again while Maria passed him some tissues and a glass of water. He had no idea where she got it from so quickly.
"Are we the first people you told?" Maria asked him and Nat loosened the hug again so he could look at them both.
"I thought you guys would get it and know the most," he told them. Just a flash of reaction crossed both their faces and Natasha shifted away a little. Both of their spy training kicked in. No emotion was shown on either of their faces which usually meant they were covering up happiness. Wanda had taught him that trick.
Maria seemed to compose herself a little before Nat, "So no one else knows?"
He shook his head, "But I want to tell people, I just didn't know how. I knew you two would be okay because you're well-"
"The lesbians that took you to get your hair cut short, always called you by the gender-neutral nicknames you wanted and always give you the boy's clothing," Maria suggested.
"Did you know?" he asked them. He was curious, they'd always been so supportive of any request and gaydar was a thing.
"We just knew you were more comfortable when you did those things," Nat shrugged, "And happier," she added, "And we want to see you happy and comfortable."
"But we had a clue," Maria added, "The hoodies even in summer and the terrible posture, after I had the doctor check you up and down for self-harm scars at all your appointments, dysphoria was guess number two."
There was a noise from the kitchen and Nat got up quickly to go get the pizza. "Do you want to know a secret?" Maria asked him.
"What?" Of course, he wanted to know a secret. Always. Avengers gossip was the best thing. Clint always had the juiciest things to say though.
"We should have just swapped bodies at birth," she smiled, "Most people don't know this. Only Nat and Fury but I was born, unfortunately, a boy."
Maria was a trans woman. Maria was transgender too. No. "Seriously?" he asked.
"According to her birth certificate," Natasha walked back in, giving him the pizza, "Eat over the plate," she reminded him. "She had all the surgery and hormone treatment done in the army before we met but yes, Maria is trans."
"In the army?" he asked again in disbelief.
"In my time, ignorance was bliss," Maria smiled, "When I came out, most people didn't even know what transsexual, as they called it then, was so I didn't have to worry about transphobia so much, more confusion."
Peter just nodded, processing. He'd met trans people online but never in person. He took a slice of pizza. He was hungrier than he'd let himself realise. "So you've been on hormones and had all the surgeries," he asked, all of that seemed so far off and impossible for him.
"Had it all done in the army," Maria smiled.
"What did your family think?" Peter asked between slices of pizza.
Maria clammed up at that and it was Nat that spoke, "Between the two of us, parents probably were never a good option to come out to. Russians and conservatives in the '90s," it was almost a joke.
"I haven't spoken to my family in two decades and I don't regret it," Maria smiled, "But," she spoke very deliberately, "You need to know Aunt May is not my terrible father, okay?"
"How would I even tell her though?" he panicked, he'd been trying not to think about it too much. It would be the hardest to come out to her and he didn't want to do it. He did want to, he was just scared. He couldn't lose May too.
"She's the hardest to tell because you love her most," Nat told him, "She loves you, we can all see that."
"Quite literally you have very few options: write a letter that she can read, text or email her or tell her in person," Maria explained very directly, "And it sucks, coming out really sucks."
"But we can be there for you," Nat added, "Whatever you need."
Peter thought. It was a lot to process. Maria was right, coming out sucks. "Can you tell her?" he said it somewhat as a joke but he kind of meant it. It would be so much easier.
"I might not be the best method," Maria was clearly thinking as she spoke slowly, "But if that's what you need."
Peter thought. He didn't want to go home and he didn't want to see her and spend another night feeling guilty about not telling her, being called by the wrong name. It hurt. He checked his watch, it was already late.
Nat seemed to read his mind, it was like a superpower she possessed, "Do you want a lift home tonight or do you want to stay here?" she offered, "It's getting late and we can give you a lift back to the city in the morning."
"Can I stay here please?" he asked.
"Of course," Maria smiled, standing up and ruffling his hair as she went over to her phone, "I'll call your Aunt May."
Nat leaned closer, "Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?" she asked.
"I hate shopping," he reminded her.
"Shopping for boy's clothes," Nat clarified, "I know you only have Avengers uniforms and training gear and you're going to need something to wear to school."
Peter rested his head against the back of the couch. His own clothes would be actually for boys. He couldn't hide his smile. "Can I get a binder?" he asked.
"I think that's something your Aunt May needs to know about," Nat seemed to be choosing her words very carefully, "But I see no problem with it." Logically, he knew that Nat was right but it didn't stop the slight feeling of disappointment. It would just make all his clothes easier to wear and feel so much better.
"May wants to talk to you," Maria came back, passing Peter the phone. He took it and let himself be subjected to 20 Questions again. Homework, clothes, food, water and the quality of his behaviour. She was relentless, asking about everything. He fucked up though, he told May he did have some homework which completely contradicted what he'd told Nat and Maria earlier which meant he also had to do it.
Out of everyone in the world that forces Peter to do his homework, Nat and Maria were probably the best. When they offered help, it was actual help. They both spoke hundreds of languages, had basic maths and science understanding and enough basic intelligence to be able to bullshit English analysis or help with history. No one else could do that. It made getting the homework done a lot easier because he didn't need to try and find the exact right word combo to type into Google, he had the best version of Google right in front of him.
It was hard to focus though. Every time they called him by his name, used his pronouns or just generally did everything right, he got completely distracted. It was hard because they switched so quickly.
The next morning, it was the same. Nat dragged him out of bed with the smell of pancakes the next morning and then it was the mandatory workout. Even those with superpowers aren't exempt. It was the only disadvantage of staying at the compound. They didn't work out with the rest of them though. Nat and Maria took him to work on his hand-to-hand combat and admittedly he was terrible at it but he figured that they'd mostly done it to avoid him being misgendered.
After that, they drove him back to New York. The car rides with Nat and Maria were the best, especially because they let him control the music if he begged enough. Tony never let him. They got pizza and Maria told him about buying her first girl clothes before they went to get him a few things. It was only a few hours before Nat and Maria took him home to Aunt May's, she was just watching TV when he got in. He told Nat and Maria to leave and that he would be fine but he was pretty sure they were waiting for him a few blocks away in case he needed them.
He didn't need them. He knew how to get the words out better and May hugged him and told him that she loved him and accepted him. It was everything. He called Nat and Maria a little after they had talked more and May even took his measurements for a binder and decided what to do about school (it was a long talk). He gave Nat and Maria the go-ahead to tell the rest of the Avengers. It was easier if they did it.
smart spidey 🕸️: It's done.
It was the one text he got later that evening. He got more of a recap later on from Maria. Apparently, there were a few gentle explanations but considering how all their eyes flitted to Natasha every time they used his name and pronouns, he thought there might have been a few threats too. He had no idea how they were so afraid. Tony also gave him a new suit, it didn't have a binder but it did make him look like a boy completely.