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Lance collapsed against his office couch, head in his hands- it was all becoming too much . He felt like he absorbed everything his friends said to him- like their emotions were his own times a hundred. He enjoyed his job- really - it’d been his dream for years. As far back as he could remember, actually.
Emotions were always something easy for Lance to understand. He may have struggled with making friends, or staying still in class, or talking in turn with others, but he always knew how people felt . He could comfort people. He could learn more about them in a short conversation than they’d know about him after months of friendship.
Psychology was the obvious choice, right?
And it was, most days. But today, he was just exhausted. Booth and Brennan were going through an intense case, one that hit close to home for the both of them. A child was involved, which hurt everyone on the team a little more. Between a tough case, therapy sessions, and the interpersonal drama of his friends, he was more overwhelmed than he knew how to handle. His head was swimming with hundreds of conflicting emotions- reds and blues swirled together in his mind, not to make purple, but a mixing pattern that made him feel dizzy and nauseated.
He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and tapping his fingers against each other in some sort of rhythmic pattern. In an attempt to self soothe, he tried using some of the breathing techniques he taught his patients oh so often. What did he need right now ? It was hard to push past the thoughts of what everyone else needed to get to his own. Brennan needed to talk about feelings the case was bringing up for her. Booth needed to talk to Brennan about his feelings. His friends needed to be reminded to take care of themselves. His three o’clock appointment needed him to research something before they showed up, but he couldn’t remember what it was.
What did he need?
Zack.
He needed to call Zack.
Zack picked up the phone almost immediately- he always did. “Lance?” He asked, confused as to why he was calling mid-afternoon. Some of the tension in Sweets’s shoulders released just at the sound of his voice.
“Zack, I’m-” Lance tried to get the words out, but his voice was starting to fail on him “I need you. Please.”
“What’s wrong, Lance? You sound distressed,” Zack’s tone was as matter-of-fact as always, and it brought some peace to Lance in his panicked state.
“I’m… I don’t know. I’m overwhelmed. Just needed to hear your voice.”
There was a pregnant pause while Zack considered what he should say next.
“What do you need?” He asked. “What can I do?”
Lance knew that Zack wasn’t the greatest with emotions. He didn’t always understand what other people were feeling or why. He couldn’t look at a person and tell you about their thoughts. He thought the idea was silly, but was impressed with his boyfriend’s proven ability to do what Zack would have called mind reading if they were in one of the science fiction movies the two of them both enjoyed so much.
Zack, however, was fantastic at following patterns and rules. Once he was told what someone needed, he was a great comfort. Even if he didn’t understand why that would help someone, he would do his best to provide- and honestly, his lack of assumptions and expectations about other’s feelings made things easier sometimes.
Lance thought for a moment before answering Zack’s question.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just needed to talk to someone. Someone who isn’t one of my patients, preferably. I’m just… exhausted.”
“Why don’t you take a rest then?” Zack replied, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Lance chuckled, and Zack became even more confused. “Why are you laughing? Did I say something wrong?”
“No,” Sweets explained to the other man. “I’m not laughing at you. You’re just… you’re sweet, that’s all.” He blushed as he explained himself, but chose to ignore it for the time being. “It’s a different kind of tired. Emotionally exhausted. I just feel… so overwhelmed by how many people are relying on me right now. It’s like I can’t do anything.”
“Once again, you should take a rest,” Zack repeated his prior advice, and Sweets tilted his head in confusion despite knowing that Zack couldn’t see him. “An emotional rest. Get done what absolutely can’t be pushed to tomorrow, and then go home. It’ll help.”
“But-” Lance started, about to defend his overworking habit before his boyfriend cut back in.
“You’re of no use to anyone if you push yourself too hard. It’s important to recognize burnout as it is approaching, so that the appropriate measures can be put in place,” Zack reminded him. “What would you say to a patient who was feeling the exact same way you are now?”
Damn him. Using Sweets’s own techniques against him. He had a point, but it was mildly annoying to have to acknowledge that he was wrong.
Sweets sighed, giving in. “I would say the exact same thing you are right now.” He took a deep breath, now that the panic had subsided and exhaustion had creeped back in. “Thank you for helping me. I know you’re busy.”
He felt a little guilty for pulling Zack away from his work. There was a lot going on at the lab right now, but his boyfriend had still taken the time to step away and comfort him. That was a big deal for Zack, and he knew it.
“You’re important to me,” Zack stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Sweets blushed like a crushing schoolboy at the statement. He grinned ear to ear before realizing he forgot to reply.
“I love you too,” he said. Those words were difficult for Zack to say, but he’d told Sweets one night that he still appreciated hearing them. He showed it through actions rather than words, and that was enough for Lance. “You should come over later. We can watch movies and I’ll cook.” He invited. “I know you’re stressed right now too.”
He could have sworn he heard Zack smile through the phone. “Star Wars?” he asked, and Sweets laughed, because he would watch anything if it meant he got to spend time with Zack- even something with no explosions, if it came down to that. He told Zack that yes, of course they’d be watching Star Wars, and then overheard Brennan calling him back to the platform.
They hung up, and Sweets felt relaxed for the first time in weeks. Taking Zack’s advice, he cleared his schedule for the day and began to pack up. He had a movie night to prepare for.
