Chapter Text
Bam and Khun had started to find each other in the night. Or rather, Bam called Khun to his room one night when Hwaryun had shown up and realized Khun would show up for him almost whenever and selfishly decided to take advantage of this fact. He had accepted that he was a bit selfish by nature while training with Evankhell. But in watching Evankhell live her best life loudly, selfishly, and happily, he had also learned that selfishness wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just a balance thing. And Bam wasn’t so greedy he’d call Khun to his room for no particular reason other than wanting to see him.
So he goes to Khun’s room under the pretext of “checking up on him”, two mugs of tea in hand. The tea is one he vaguely remembers Khun drinking from time to time. It made Bam realize they really only occupied each other’s lives in tiny windows of space and time. It spurred his feet quickly to Khun’s room. Bam figured if Khun really didn’t want him there, he’d get kicked out rudely but affectionately. No hard feelings.
Bam knocks on Khun’s door and hears a tired grunt that sounded somewhat like “Come in”. Khun doesn’t look up from his lighthouse initially, sitting on his bed but his day clothes still on. His posture said he wasn’t going to lay down for quite a while still. Bam stares at his scrunched up eyebrows and concentrated gaze. There was something captivating about it, like, given the chance, he could and would stare all night. Bam chalks it up to the lingering effects of wonder that they had both managed to survive so much and find each other over and over.
Khun is finally pulled away from his concentration when Bam puts his mug of tea down on his nightstand near him. He blinks up at Bam for a moment. Tiredness showing in the few much longer seconds it takes him to pull himself together than usual. Bam gives him a soft smile. Khun slowly and slightly returns it. The affection showing in the way his face fully relaxes.
“What are you doing up?” Khun asks.
Bam raises an eyebrow. “What are you doing up?”
“Not fair. 1. I asked first and 2. I’m your light bearer, my job is staying up.”
Bam smiles wider and shrugs. “Excuse me for wanting to check up on you, my light bearer.”
Khun’s face went through a quick and funny set of movements before settling back to his default needling gaze. The one where his eyes scrunch up to glare but there’s still a smirk that shows he’s at the advantage. Bam couldn’t catch any of the emotions before that, except that it told him his light bearer could probably use some sleep. He also knows Khun well enough that suggesting self care is not the way to get him to actually do it, so instead he diverts his attention, sitting down beside him on the bed and leaning over to read what’s on his lighthouse.
“History of the Jahad army’s battles?” Bam’s breath unknowingly hits Khun’s neck and ear.
Khun tenses for a moment but relaxes as he starts to explain.
“We have to be prepared for how they’re likely to react to The Nest being attacked, what happens in one on one confrontations, group confrontations, small numbers vs large, large vs small, different terrains we might come across, what rankers are likely to show up, what rankers could turn the tide of battle…”
Khun’s voice becomes a calming background noise, like a wordless song one would listen to to fall asleep. Bam decides to just stare at Khun’s side profile instead of trying to focus as he goes on about battle plans. Honestly, Bam just listened to whatever Khun or Hwaryun told him to do and improvised everything else. Most of the time they understood they really just needed to point Bam in a general direction and tell him when to attack.
At some point Khun realizes that Bam is giving slightly off-beat responses to him. It ticks him off for a moment. Not because Bam isn’t listening to him but because Bam obviously should be going to bed instead of checking up on him. He decides to test just how out of it Bam is, mostly for teasing purposes.
“...And that’s when penguins could attack, which are the mortal enemies to FUG, Jahad, and most horses. That’s when we should bring in the clown cars which run on explosive shinsu to act as bombs that can blow up both our forces and force us into a stalemate. In which case, the family heads will be brought in to settle the stalemate with a game of 10 way chess that uses real people for chess pieces. You would probably be the Queen piece.”
Bam’s eyes snap up and find Khun’s, which seemed to be laughing at him. He had caught the last part but it made no sense out of context. Hmm, how to play this off like he’s been paying attention?
“Why would I be the Queen piece?” Bam mentally files away to look up what a “Queen piece” is and when it comes up in battle, probably a specific test floor strategy by the sound of it.
Khun’s straight face facade finally breaks and he gives in to carefree, tired giggles. Bam can’t help but smile back even if he’s probably the butt of the joke here. All of Khun’s daily defenses are down right now, he looks a bit like how he looked on Evankhell’s floor, on those late nights in between tests filled with drinking, teasing, and laughter.
Khun’s small laughs cease all too quickly as he catches Bam’s sleepy, happy gaze on him.
“You were trying to see how long it would take before I noticed you were talking nonsense, weren’t you?” Bam asks, already knowing the answer. It was a common Khun Aguero Agnis trick, although most of the time he used it on Rak to annoy him with tech jargon.
“Thank you for checking up on me, but you should go to bed. You really are our Queen piece in a lot of ways.”
Bam pouts and pokes Khun’s forehead. “You first. We also need that brain of yours.”
Khun lightly slaps Bam’s hand away. “Not how this works, Mr. Slayer Candidate. You’re the center to this, you’re the one that has to be in the best shape if you want to lead us.”
The last part of that sentence “lead us into war” somehow still hangs in the air, even unsaid. Bam looks down at his feet.
Khun can feel his demeanor change in an instant. His hand hesitatingly goes back out to Bam’s.
Bam reaches back for it. Their hands loosely interlock.
“Thank you. I honestly don’t understand how or why you go along with everything I land myself into. I don’t know what I did to deserve it. It seems like I just keep causing bigger and bigger messes wherever I go. You probably could be a lot further up the tower without me.”
Khun grips Bam’s hand. Words are on his lips but he isn’t sure how to pick them. They all seem to want to tumble out at once.
Bam continues before he can decide. “But, selfishly, I’m so glad you stayed behind with me. That all of you did. Even when I was getting us killed on the Hell Train chasing after Rachel, you and the others still stood by me, and it made me happy to have friends that would stay with me even then. I just wish I could do better at keeping you all safe. It feels like once I have one thing sorted out, someone’s gone and kidnapped or hurt another one of the people I care about.”
Bam’s hand grips back, as though trying to convey all of the emotions he can’t quite explain.
“I’m not sure where I would be without you, Bam, but I do know it would feel so mind numbingly meaningless and boring that I would’ve somehow sought you out, found you, and followed you anyway.”
Bam’s face finally pulls away from the floor and meets Khun’s gaze. It looks a little lost in its vulnerability. Khun refuses to let fear ruin this moment though, not when Bam needs him.
“I’m not the best at pep talks but, it doesn’t matter to me if the next ordeal ends up worse than this and the next worse than that. I would still choose to follow you. Our whole team would. We’ve gotten through every ordeal before this one. I have faith we’ll get through this one too. We’ll get Jinsung Ha back, safe and sound.”
Khun would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little scared in this moment. It feels like his heart moved from his sleeve to cover his face and his words. Bam was oblivious in a lot of ways, but was he so oblivious that he couldn’t see the way Khun’s breath is shaking and the way his heart is beating? Perhaps even the shinsu around them was telling Bam something about Khun.
If it did though, it didn’t show up as some huge revelation to Bam. Bam’s only response was a soft smile.
“Not much of a pep talker, huh?”
“Well, in some cases I’ve been known for my way with words. Just don’t have much practice in this one, is all.” Khun slowly, softly smiles back.
The grip between their hands slackens but stays interlocked. Bam heaves a relieving sigh, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Like for a moment, Khun became Atlas for him and the world’s sky was someone else’s problem for the night.
Bam leans back and lets his back hit Khun’s mattress.
“If I won’t go to bed until you go to bed and you won’t go to bed until I go to bed, then what about a sleepover?” Bam suggests as he stares up at the ceiling.
Khun glances over at his lighthouse and notices the way the text has been blurring in front of his eyes for the first time. He sighs. He never wins against Bam anyhow.
“Sure. Do you need to go get a blanket or pillow?”
“Not unless you steal them again,” Bam jokes and lightly kicks at Khun’s leg.
“No promises, but I’ll try my best.”
With that, Khun gets up, stretching tiredly, shutting down his lighthouse, and drags himself to the bathroom to get changed and ready for bed.
Bam shuffles off to retrieve a blanket from his room because there are specific limits to his trust in Khun.
When he gets back he turns off the main light and turns on a lamp light for Khun to find his way back in the dark once he finishes his skin and hair care routine, which admittedly has paired down over the years for practicality’s sake. It was still the longest routine out of their team though. Bam is half way to sleep when he hears Khun come out and move into bed with him.
“What did we use to talk about when we had these sleepovers?” Khun asks after a beat of comfortable silence. He’s not sure why he’s the one deciding to break it, maybe he’s more tired than he realizes. Maybe he just wants to keep Bam talking until he falls asleep.
“Honestly, I’m pretty sure it was less talking and more bickering between you and Rak until one of you passed out.” Bam replies.
Khun reaches his foot out through the blankets to lightly kick Bam. “If I don’t keep that alligator in check his ego would have to get decompressed for every floor as well.”
“Is that what you do with yours?” Bam teases back, lightly kicking back.
Khun reals for a moment at the fact Bam can tease back now but quickly recognizes the declaration to war happening with their legs.
“Hey, is that any way to talk to your ever faithful light bearer?” Khun brings his other leg over to Bam’s side to shove at him.
Bam gasps dramatically, “Is that any way to treat your ever powerful wave controller?”
The kick Bam gives is unfairly powerful for his still small frame, Khun nearly falls out of bed. He grabs onto the mattress just in time and this time uses both feet to shove back. Sounds of giggling and groans erupt from the both of them as they playfully shove and kick, careful to keep any real damage from occurring. They find themselves at a stalemate when their legs and feet end up in a kind of sideways arm wrestle, each trying to shove the other off the bed.
Khun knows for a fact he can’t hold out against Bam’s stamina. He grabs for the pillow under him and flings it at Bam’s face. It surprises him for a moment, just long enough for Khun to successfully push him off the bed. Victory is heard in the sound of a “thump” Bam’s body makes when it hits the floor.
Bam’s head pops up and is illuminated by the lamp light. He’s still giggling a bit.
“Okay, okay, perhaps all parties are guilty of bickering at our sleepovers.”
Khun grins back, “Perhaps?”
“Hey, I have your pillow right now, do you want to continue this fight or do you want to sleep?” Bam extends the pillow weapon back to Khun, already confident in the answer.
Khun huffs a bit at being bested and rips the pillow out of Bam’s hands, “Only if you sleep as well.”
“Like I said, as long as you promise not to hog the blankets.” Bam replies easily as he settles back in under the covers.
Khun stares for a moment at Bam’s sleepy, smiley face lying beside him, illuminated by the lamp’s glow. He turns around to turn it off, such a vision should only be taken in small doses. He stares at the tea that had been forgotten on the nightstand. He reaches out to take a sip, it’s cold now but perfectly brewed and the exact kind of tea he likes.
Bam watches expectantly from behind, but he doesn’t get to see the reaction as Khun turns off the lamp after a couple more sips. He decides to take the multiple sips as a win. Bam closes his eyes and is out like the lamp in moments.
“Good night, my ever powerful wave controller,” Khun says as the darkness settles. Warmth radiates from his voice.
“G’night, my light bearer.” A mumbled, sleepy voice responds.