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English
Series:
Part 4 of Fandom Kittens
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Published:
2015-05-23
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1,052
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1/1
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54
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Intruder Alert

Summary:

Bruce Banner detects an intruder while working down in the lab.

Work Text:

Dr. Banner was the first one to notice it. He was zoned out in the lab, focusing on a new project, when a strange sound pulled him out of himself. Despite hunting around, he couldn’t identify the source of the noise, or what the noise itself was, and pretending to ignore it was out of the question. Who knew what strange gizmo could be going off in Stark’s lab. Strange sounds from nowhere weren’t the kinds of things you ignored.

"You sure you're not hearing things?" Clint said from the kitchen table after Bruce had related the issue to the first other avenger he could find.

“I’m not hearing things. There’s something loose in the tower, or something wrong with one of the machines, and Tony isn’t here to tell me which.”

“It’s probably no big deal. You probably just needed to get out of that lab for more than five minutes.” Clint was hunched over the table, eating a leftover Subway sandwich from the day before and reading something that looked to Bruce like a SHIELD debriefing.

Bruce turned to leave, electing to ignore the jab and find someone more useful, when the elevator across the room chimed open and released Natasha. “Where’s the cat?” she asked.

“What?” Bruce raised an eyebrow.

Natasha didn’t look at either of them as she entered the kitchen and went straight for the fridge. “The cat,” she said again. “I heard some noise on my way up; sounded like meowing.”

The sound finally registered in Bruce’s brain. “That’s what I was hearing,” he said. “In the lab earlier. I didn’t recognize the sound but it was a cat meowing.”

“Why is there a cat in the tower?” Clint asked without looking up.

“Is Stark experimenting on cats now?” Natasha asked at the same time. She broke the seal on a bottle of water, almost crunching the plastic in disgust.

[[The source of the noise has been located,]] JARVIS’ voice piped in through the speakers on the wall.

“Now you speak up,” Bruce muttered. The AI had been completely unhelpful earlier, when the noise in the lab had originally distracted him.

[[Mr. Stark is not experimenting on cats,]] JARVIS continued. [[There seems to be a gap in security. The intruder has been neutralized.]]

“What does that mean?” Bruce asked. Moments later, the elevator chimed again, and a very confused Steve Rogers stepped off. He held out a small tabby kitten in his hands.

“Ah,” Natasha said. She sat down at the table and nudged the SHIELD file over to read. “There’s the cat.”

“Why was there a cat in the bathroom?” Steve asked. “On the 45th floor?” He stood awkwardly, not entirely sure what to do with the animal in his hands. When no one moved to take it from him, he brought it with him into the kitchen.

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Bruce said. He considered heading back to the lab, now that the mystery was solved, but since he was in the kitchen already he might as well eat.

Clint finally looked up at Steve, and frowned. “That’s not a cat,” he said. “It’s a kitten.”

“Oh, well, excuse me,” Steve said. Gently, he dropped the animal down onto the kitchen table, where it proceeded to sniff at the manila folder under its feet. “Here, you take it.”

“Aw, what?” Clint quickly grabbed at the kitten, picking it up by its belly. “Don’t put animals on the table, some of us eat here. Gross.” He set it down on the floor. The kitten stood still for a moment, smelling the air, then wandered over in the direction of the fridge. Bruce quickly shut the door, sandwich fixings in hand.

“It’s probably just a stray,” Natasha said, brushing a bit of dirt off the SHIELD file. “Wandered in off the street. Or it belongs to someone and just got lost.”

“How did it get in though?” Steve asked again.

[[Security flaw,]] JARVIS answered, [[which is being corrected as we speak.]]

Finished sandwich in hand, Bruce sat down at the table as well. “The question now is what do we do with it. Put up sign?”

“Ask Nat,” Clint said. He polished off his own sandwich and stood up to throw the wrapper away. “She has all kinds of experience with this sort of stuff.”

Natasha ignored him.

“Nothing against cats,” Steve said, “but we probably shouldn’t have one wandering the tower. That can’t be very safe. For us or it.” He was still standing by kitchen counter, arms folded as he watched the tiny thing navigate the kitchen floor. It had made its way over to the garbage can, where it probably smelt the sandwich trash.

Clint returned to his seat, and leaned back. “JARVIS can take care of it,” he said. “Right?”

[[No,]] JARVIS responded. [[I cannot. I have not been programmed with the functionality to watch over animals.]]

Clint started to chuckle, but before he could make his joke Bruce cut in. “Let’s just find someone who wants it. It can’t be that hard to find a kitten a home in New York.”

“I don’t personally know very many people in New York,” Steve said. “What about you three?”

There was silence for several moments, broken by loud sniffing noises. The kitten was wandering into the living room now, but cautiously.

“I’ll find someone who wants it,” Natasha finally said. “Don’t,” she quickly added with a glare at Clint as he started to crack a smile. “I’ll just ask around SHIELD. But I’m not taking it back to my place in the meantime. It’ll just have to stay here.”

“Tony’s not going to like that,” Bruce warned.

“He’s the one who let a kitten slip into his tower mansion,” Clint said. “Technically. I mean, he’s the one that designed the building with the security flaw or whatever. He’ll just have to deal with it.”

The four of them glanced over at the animal, now circling around the couches, looking dangerously like it wanted to explore underneath.

“Someone should feed it,” Steve said.

After a beat, Natasha said, “It’s going to pee everywhere, isn’t it?”

“We should move it up to Tony’s room for now so it doesn’t get lost all over the building,” Bruce said. The others nodded in agreement.

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