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Tim was fidgeting nervously. He knew he shouldn’t have had that seventh cup of coffee, but the 36 hours of being awake was getting to him and he needed to do this. He may have been a tad less lucid than he would’ve wanted to be, but that was fine with him. He could already imagine the yelling that Bernard would give him when he found out Tim hadn’t slept.
Bernard. The reason he was doing this.
Oxygen trickled into his lungs as his nails scraped off chipped red paint from the iron fire escape. Bludhaven’s skyline glittered over the horizon.
“Timmy?”
Tim turned towards the window behind him. He was greeted by a familiar muscular frame with a dark head of hair: Dick Grayson.
“What’s up Dick?” Tim playfully said, “Come here often?”
“To the fire escape of my apartment?” He began, opening the window and climbing out into the fire escape to join Tim. “Where I live? In Bludhaven? Which is extremely not Gotham?”
He leaned over the railing next to Tim, smiling his perfect smile at him. “Nope, don’t come here often at all. Fancy seeing you here.”
Tim laughed and shook his head, sparing one quick glance to Dick, his oldest brother, before turning out to the skyline. He was fixating on the sights and trying to ground himself in case any panic or anxiety welled up in him.
There was none. He could do this.
Dick stood silent, watching Tim. He knew if he gave him time, Tim would explain what was up. No questions necessary.
“I want him to meet you.” Tim said, “All of you. I’m thinking of hosting a dinner at Wayne Manor.”
Dick smiled before looking away from Tim, towards the horizon in the same direction as Tim.
“Bernard?” Dick asked, knowing immediately who Tim was talking about. “It’s about time. I’ve gotta give my big brother shovel talk.”
“Oh god please don’t.” Tim asked, shaking his head and laughing. “I’m sure that Damian and Jason will be more than happy to do that.”
Dick raised an eyebrow, quirking his face towards Tim. “They’re coming?”
Tim remained emotionless, not moving as his gaze fixed on a distant skyscraper. It was lit up in specific colors. Probably for a Bludhaven sports team or something, Tim didn’t have the time to follow any sports.
“I haven’t asked yet, but I’d like them to.” Tim said. “I want him to meet my brothers. All of them.”
Dick moved a hand over Tim’s. He could sense Tim twitch under his touch, but he didn’t remove his hand.
“I’ll make sure my shovel talk is more mental than physical then.”
Under his hand, Dick could tell Tim had an uneven pulse. One born of either nerves or of an awful sleep schedule.
“If you made the trip out to visit me just to ask, I hope you know I’m not letting you leave until you get a good night's sleep.” Dick began, “You're sleeping in my bed and I get the couch.”
Tim looked over, eyebrows scrunched together and words of protest hanging off his lips. Dick smirked at the desired effect.
“I’m fine.” Tim said, “I don’t need sleep. I’ve got too much to do.”
“If you’re gonna invite our brothers to meet your boyfriend then trust me when I say you’ll need all the sleep you can get.” Dick said, gesturing towards the inside, “Now come on, I’ll fix you up some warm milk and a grilled cheese for dinner.”
“Why would you have milk?” Tim asked, picking his hands up off the iron railing and following Dick in, “You hate milk.”
“You, Jason, and Damian love it.” He replied, like it was the simplest thing in the world.
Tim said nothing as he followed Dick in, taking in his brothers apartment. He hadn’t been there in weeks, yet everytime he was there something settled within him. It reminded him of the gentle, protective embrace of childhood. A place in a pocket of space unaffected by the world at large. Where it was just the two of them.
“How’ve things been going with Bernard?” Dick asked. Getting milk and cheese out of the fridge and preparing Tim’s meal.
He yawned, the warmth of the apartment already pulling him into slumber. The soft tones of the walls and the minimalist furniture that Tim had helped Dick buy at IKEA were a comforting familial hug. Pictures adorned the walls that Tim couldn’t help but be drawn to. Pictures of Dick and everyone in the Batfam. Tim and Dick on vacation. Dick and Jason when they were younger. Dick and Damian when he had become Batman temporarily.
Bruce and Steph and Alfred and Kate were there also, but the one that drew his attention was hung near the fireplace. It was of the four brothers being forced to take a picture together. Dick was smiling, Jason was scowling, Tim was two seconds from passing out with noticeable dark circles under his eyes, and Damian was eyeing the cameraman violently.
Tim touched his fingers to the frame lightly, unable to stop the goofy smile from manifesting on his face.
“It’s been good.” Tim finally answered, his smile growing at the thought of his blonde boyfriend who shined like the sun, “Really good. He makes me really happy.”
“I’m glad to hear.” Dick said, throwing him a smile.
“Got some stuff to work on but, I don’t know. He makes me feel safe.”
“What kinda stuff?” Dick asked over the sizzle of the bread and cheese on the stove. The milk was in the microwave, soft beeps from it scoring their conversation.
“Well uh…” Tim stuttered, blushing and looking everywhere but at Dick. He took notice, raising and eyebrow as he scrutinized Tim.
“What’s up? I know you wanna say it so come on. Out with it so I can give you your brotherly advice.”
Tim bit his lip, burying his head in his hands on the counter top he was sitting at. The pitch black darkness was a fishhook pulling him into a state of slumber, but the gnawing inside him was keeping him afloat.
“This is super personal and embarrassing and it’ll definitely make you feel awkward.” Tim said, picking his head up to look at Dick.
“Hit me with it.” Dick said with a smile. Tim just took a deep breath in response.
“We haven't uh….had sex yet.” Tim said, opening his mouth again to let out more words before Dick could get a foot in. “It’s not him it’s me…I mean I haven’t done it yet. With guys I mean. Girls yes, obviously, not that you need to know that. And I know how it works with guys I just…it just feels new and I don’t wanna fuck up and—“
“Tim, you’re gonna fuck it up.” Dick said, Tim holding his breath in fear of some type of judgment from Dick. “I can guarantee you that you’re gonna fuck it up.”
“Is that supposed to help?”
“Yes. Because you’re gonna fuck it up and so is Bernard because when you do it eventually it’ll still be your first time in a way. It’s gonna be awkward and it’s gonna be weird but if Bernard cares about you as much as you think he does, he won’t care. I’m sure he’ll be glad to be awkward with you about it. The important question is whether you want to have sex with him.”
“I do.” Tim said, wincing a tad embarrassed at how eager the response left his mouth.
“And I assume Bernard does as well?” Dick asked, Tim nodding in response. “Then talk to him about it. Communicate. You’re not alone, Tim. You don’t have to be. Just let him in. Emotionally I mean, not physically. Well obviously yes physically if you’re a botto—“
“Nope, shut up right there.” Tim said, putting his hands over his ears. “This conversation is done.”
Dick smiled as he brought over the grilled cheese and milk to Tim.
“You can come to me with anything.” Dick said, ruffling his head before walking over to the couch. “Wanna watch something while you eat? Something mindless that you can fall asleep through?”
Tim smiled as he grabbed his plate and glass, bringing it over to the couch as Dick started going through the television.
“How’s things with Barbara?” Tim asked, taking a sip.
“Good.” Dick replied, a smile on his face appearing that mirrored the same one Tim was wearing. “You know how we are. No matter where in the world we find ourselves or how far from each other, some things are just destined to work out.”
“And you think you two are?”
“I know we are.” Dick answered, faint blush on his face creeping up.
Tim said nothing, opting to eat in silence as the campy horror movie played. It was nice, nights like these. Nights where he and Dick could just be. No responsibilities or villains or drama. Just two brothers watching a shitty horror movie.
And they were two brothers, but they weren’t alone.
Tim set his milk down, finishing the glass as he felt the claws of sleep reaching for him. While he was awake with Dick, in a state where he could say anything from either trust or sleep exhaustion, he had one more question to get off his chest. “What if…what if they don’t wanna come?”
Dick looked over at Tim, putting an arm around him and bringing his little brother close.
“Why wouldn’t they?” He asked, once again knowing who Tim was referring to, “They’re your brothers.”
Tim sighed as he rubbed his face, trying to buy himself a few more waking minutes. ”I mean, I see them like that. I always have. What if I ask and they really just don’t care? Won’t that just confirm they don’t see our relationship like I do?”
“They care about you Tim, in their own way.” Dick said firmly, no room for argument. “They’re our brothers, even if they refuse to acknowledge that. They’ll go. You just need to push them and make sure they know why you want them there. Remind them of what they are to you and what you are to them.”
Tim had a response, but it died on his lips as the muscles in his eyelids gave in, closing and thrusting him into darkness. As his mind drifted off, he heard Dick’s voice one last time as he felt his body being carried away.
“And no matter what Tim, you’ll always have me. I’ll always be your big brother.”
When Tim awoke the next morning in Dick’s bed, he held onto those words with everything he had. Dissecting the meaning and analyzing every letter. Every intention.
He knew what to do.
“What do you want, Timbo?”
Jason and Tim were without a doubt the more dramatic of the bat siblings. Tim summoning Jason to converse on a rooftop in the late afternoon before their nightly patrol was very on brand. Unnecessarily clandestine meetings coated in smog and pigeon shit was Jason Todd’s aesthetic, and Tim was happy to oblige. There he was in his Red Hood gear, minus the hood.
“I had something I wanted to ask you.” Tim began.
“So you ask me to meet you here?” Jason retorted, “Seems a little extra.”
“Would you have met if I asked you to meet me at a Panera Bread?” Tim asked.
Jason contemplated for a few seconds, eyebrow arched as he scrutinized Tim.
“Fair point.” He answered, “I’ll ask again. What do you want?”
Tim took a deep breath, steeling himself as he looked on at Jason. Of his three brothers, he related the most to Jason. Sandwiched between Dick and Damian, they were technically the middle children. They had the most tenuous relationship of all the brothers, but something about Jason still itched at Tim. Like a scab that regrew itself, he couldn’t shake the threat between them. He didn’t want to.
“I’m hosting a dinner at Wayne Manor.” Tim said, “I wanted to introduce Bernard to it, as well as to Bruce, Dick, Damian, and you. To my family.”
Jason turned his nose up, as if smelling something foul in the air. Tim sniffed but there was only the scent of stale gasoline and biting air that Gotham was known for.
“Hard pass.” Jason said. “I’m busy.”
“I didn’t say when it would be.”
“I’m always busy.”
“Let me rephrase it.” Tim replied, expecting the pushback. “You’re coming. No longer a question.”
“Yeah, that’ll change my mind. Still a pass but a cute attempt. Trust me, your boy Benjamin ain’t gonna care if I’m there or not.”
“Bernard.” Tim said, eyes narrowing at Jason. He wasn’t expecting this much pushback. “But you knew that. You’re just being a dick.”
“If you knew that then you knew I’d say no.” Jason said, “Which leads me to ask what the point of any of this even was?”
A siren came and went in the background, the tension inside of Tim steaming. He was getting angry. Why did Jason make everything so difficult? Why couldn’t he be normal for one goddamn minute?
“Excuse me for wanting to introduce my boyfriend to my family, which includes you by the way.” Tim said, “I like Bernard. A lot. I want him to meet you guys because I want to have him around for a long time and that’s not gonna happen if he doesn’t know my family.”
“Does he know about your night job?” Jason asked, and that stopped Tim in his tracks. His bit his lip, anger inside him rising to a boiling point as Jason smirked, satisfied in having bested Tim’s words with sheer truth. “You want him to stick around forever but he doesn’t even know shit about you? Yeah, that’ll last long. Let me know how it goes and don’t involve me.”
“Fuck you, Jason.” Tim blurted out, “I’m trying to do something normal and nice here and all you can do is insult me and my relationship? I’ll tell him, eventually. But that has nothing to do with wanting him to meet my family.”
“I don’t wanna meet someone who’s gonna be a passing fancy.” Jason said, “Waste of my time. I don’t wanna meet anyone.”
“Jesus Christ, why are you so allergic to feelings?”
“Never did anything for me.” Jason said, “And sorry for calling it like I see it. Glad to see I got under your skin, though. Almost made this stupid little detour worth it. It’s so fun to piss you off. It’s like seeing a little bird chirp angrily and batting itself against something larger like that'll do anything. But it won’t. That’s all you are. Are we done here?”
“Why the fuck do you hate me so much?” Tim asked, all anger drained from his voice leaving a defeated shell.
It was a question he always harbored towards Jason but never dared ask. But now that Tim was rediscovering himself, inviting Jason in only to be rebuffed viciously? He had nothing left to lose. He would put it all on the table and slam Jason’s head on it repeatedly if it knocked sense into him.
But all he wanted was an answer. He stared on, waiting for Jason to walk away and ignore him or shoot him in the chest. Good thing he was wearing his kevlar underneath his costume.
Jason’s expression froze, his lips contorting into a grin as he laughed mirthlessly. His eyes locked onto Tim’s, gripping them in their endless void.
“Not everything’s about you, Tim.” He stated, grin flatlining. “I can walk away, you know. But I won’t. Because I know you’ve been dying to ask that question. Waiting to find out what happened so you can fix it. What the boy genius needs to do for his brother to love him. You’ve been salivating at the mouth, foaming and chomping at the bits to get the answer, and you finally get the balls to ask. Well jokes on you, because you’re not gonna like the answer.”
Tim stood defiantly against Jason, shoulders squared and chest puffed out, daring him to give an honest answer. Even Jason was a tad impressed with the boy across from him
“I don’t hate you, I hate myself.” Jason finally answered. Tim couldn’t stop his lungs from loudly intaking a sharp breath. “I hate what I am. I look at you and all I can think of is how different everything could’ve been if my life didn’t go the way it had. I see a life that could’ve been but never will be. I don’t know who I am half the time, and you and everyone makes it worse. I'm not like Dick. Maybe once upon a time I could’ve been but that ship sailed. I'm not a super genius like you. I'm not even Bruce’s biological son like Damian. All I am is the one who died. Nothing else. My name and identity tangled up in the fact that I’ve tasted death and had it ripped away from me only to be thrust back into my own hell. Where does that leave me?”
Tim remained silent, staring solemnly at Jason. The wind blew their hair a bit as a siren was heard nearby. Their call to action. Jason scoffed as he turned around, wanting to get as far away from Tim and this conversation as possible.
“My brother.”
Jason stopped in place, feet frozen solid to the ground, face forward and refusing to turn to Tim.
“You asked where everything leaves you.” Tim continued. “It leaves you as my brother. My big brother. Despite everything that’s happened to you, and me, and everyone. That’s a fact. You said so yourself. You called me your brother.”
Jason’s shoulders deflated, his body exhaling as if to will itself into withering away. Wanting to be so weak that the gravity of Tim’s words would crush it.
“I don’t know why you care so much about having me in your life or including me or wanting me to meet your boyfriend or whatever. You’ve got your life coming together finally. You don’t need me.”
“You’re wrong, I do need you.” Tim answered, Jason taken aback by Tim’s bluntness. ”Even when you’re an asshole, I need you. And you need me. You blame yourself for everything that’s happened to me.”
That finally got Jason’s attention. He turned to a smirking Tim who knew he spoke true. Damn super genius, Jason thought. “You said so yourself. If you hadn’t died then I wouldn’t have become Robin. I’d probably still have my spleen, maybe my parents, and my life would be completely different. That’s how you feel, don’t you?”
“Fuck you.” Jason replied. Tim knew this was as close as an admission of truth as he was gonna get.
“I want you to know you shouldn’t feel bad.” Tim continued, “Life has been hard. It’s been shit. It’s shown its teeth and bitten us hard enough to leave scars — physical and emotional.”
Faint footsteps echoed from the cement flooring under them, Tim walking closer to an unmoving and unflinching Jason. He held his hand out as if cornering a wild beast, intentions unknown.
“But I’d do it all again because of what it got me.” Tim continued. “It got me an ex girlfriend who become one of my best friends and a best friend who became my boyfriend. It got me a group of people who understand me in ways I didn’t think I’d have growing up. I have a family who loves me. But most importantly of all, it got me you. My big brother. You, and Damian, and Dick. My brothers. The person who’s had the most effect on me isn’t Bruce, or Bernard, or Steph, or any of the Titans or young justice. It’s you guys. My brothers."
“I tried to kill you.” Jason said, the corner of his lips twitching as if aching to turn upwards. “Multiple times.”
Taking one more step forward, Tim shrugged. He and Jason were face to face, almost at eye level. A twinge of recognition flashed on Jason’s face, still not used to Tim being his height. He suppressed his inner voice talking about how much he had grown.
“I know.” Tim said, shrugging, “Brotherly squabble?”
“Not a normal one.” Jason said, his voice lighter than it was previously.
“We’re not normal people.” Tim said, “And I don’t wanna be. I forgive you, by the way. And I know I’ll keep forgiving you because I know it’s not coming from a bad place. Because you’re my brother. Because no one knows me or what I’ve had to deal with better than you. Because I love you.”
Tim took his last step forward, wrapping his arms around Jason as the sun set into the horizon behind them, bathing Gotham in a warm glow. Tim braced himself for pushback or a punch, but that didn't happen.
He could sense it. Jason’s arms trembling. Slowly, they picked up and hovered around Tim’s sides, unsure of what to do. But, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, they closed around Tim and hugged him back. Harder than Tim thought he would, squeezing him. Clutching onto him like a lifeline.
And if Tim felt a teardrop fall on his shoulder, that would be a secret. He didn’t know if it was his or Jason’s.
“A few Christmases ago.” Jason said, his normally apathetic and commanding voice uneven. Tim didn’t look up, resting his forehead on Jason’s shoulders as he let Jason’s words fall onto him. “You got in a fight with Bruce about something. I don’t even remember what, but I’m sure it was stupid and born from some stubborn hubris or some shit.”
Tim chuckled a bit, laughing wetly as the memory of that Christmas hit him.
“I came back to my room at the Manor a few days later and there was a box waiting for me.” Tim said, “It was wrapped badly. In newspaper. Still, I picked it up, tired as hell from a long week of working and patrolling. Steph and I were fighting so everything felt like shit. I didn’t feel like I had anything or anyone. But then I opened up that newspaper wrapping. There was an article about a union strike in Central City. I remember it vividly.”
“How did you know I left it?” Jason asked. Holding tightly onto Tim, letting the emotions he had buried under yards of sand spout up, leaking through the surface just a bit.
“Because Dick looked like shit in the picture so I knew he wouldn’t.” Tim replied, “Damian would have given me a knife or something but he was out of town so he didn’t know about it. You were the only other one who had that picture. Of me, Dick, and Damian at the Wayne Enterprise Gala to raise money for the Homeless Center. You weren’t there because you were on a mission and I was bummed out. I never got a copy of that picture because you stole mine.”
“I think you love Bruce more than any of us.” Jason said, “And I know how hard it can be so…I don’t know. It was stupid. Thought it couldn’t help to remind you that, regardless of what happened with Bruce, you weren’t alone. You had your brothers.”
“That includes you.” Tim said, pulling back and looking at Jason, neither acknowledging how wet their eyes were. “Always, you.”
Jason broke free of Tim, wiping his eyes as he walked over to the ledge, taking a deep breath. Stars started poking out above them, the sun having completed its rotation and signaling the close end of the day.
“Fine, I’ll go to your stupid dinner...” Jason said, Tim’s smile growing on his face. He took a few steps and stood next to Jason, staring at the last strips of sunlight as they sunk beneath the ocean.
“I knew you could be convinced.” Tim said.
“Tell anybody about any of this and I’ll make another attempt on your life.” Jason threatened, “And you won’t be so lucky this time.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Tim replied.
“And tell this Bernard that if he fucks with you I’ll have his head on my mantle.”
“Oh, he already knows. He said he’s the most excited to meet you.”
Jason didn’t turn to look at Tim, but the stutter of his breath told Tim enough. They stood like that, staring out into the line where the ocean met the sky until they blurred together into a shroud of darkness. No words were exchanged, just the sound of their heartbeats side by side.
Two brothers.
Gotham nights were veiled in mystery. A veritable paroxysm of tranquil chaos. It was a human body with a lit up nervous system working on overdrive and an immune system that tried to curb the constant parasitic intruders.
And right now, the Gotham Zoo was under attack. At least, it would be if Damian Wayne’s intel was to be believed. He crouched down in a fox enclosure, a few of them gathered around him for protection. Somehow, they knew.
“You have nothing to fear.” He said, petting one of them. Animals were better than people. This was one of his universal rules of life.
“Need some help?” A familiar voice called out from above him. Damian knew who it was before the loud thump and small cloud of dust revealed the intruder: Tim.
So much for a calm, easy stakeout protecting his animal friends.
“How dare you intrude.” Damian asked, “I had this handled.”
“Had what handled?” Teased Tim, “Nothing’s happened.”
Damian resisted the urge to bring his knife to Tim’s throat. Damian had that urge often and Tim knew it. He also knew Damian wouldn’t do anything so he didn't feel bad teasing.
Well, he wasn’t completely confident but he still thought it would get Damian and him into a good flow.
“You haven’t been around.” Tim stated, looking out into nothing as sounds of animals littered the atmosphere. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
“Is it related to the intel about the Zoo break-in?” Damian asked, looking over at Tim who said nothing. “As I thought. Whatever it is you wish to tell me can wait. It’s not important.”
“It’s….important to me.” Tim admitted, a bit of color creeping up on his cheeks. Damian arched an eyebrow at him confused at what was happening. “I’m hosting a dinner at Wayne Manor. I wanted to introduce Bernard to you all, and I want you there.”
Damian wasn’t expecting that. He gazed away from Tim, keeping his eyes peeled at the vicinity. One of the foxes under him could sense how tense he had gotten, scurrying off away from him. This added to Damian’s agitation.
“Look what you’ve done!” Damian whisper-shouted (more of a shout than whisper). “You’ve driven Heart-Ripper away!”
“Heart-Ripper?” Tim asked, “That’s not a name.”
“Shut up.” Damian said, “Stop ruining things.
“All I did was invite you to a dinner.” Tim said. “I want Bernard to meet my brothers.”
“Your boyfriend?” Damian asked, “Send him my regards and my apologies that I won’t be able to make it to dinner. Mind you, I don’t actually wish to apologize. After all, you’re asking us to give up a night of defending Gotham for something frivolous. It boggles the mind what you’re asking. To think that Bruce still lets you take up the Robin mantle with your head in such fantastical places. Might I recommend getting checked out at Leslie's? Surely something must be wrong in your mind for you to—”
“Are you done making fun of me?” Tim asked, arms crossed, staring down Damian.
“...Before I was so rudely interrupted.” Continued Damian, “Something must be wrong in your mind for you to think that what you’re suggesting is a productive use of time. There. Now I’m done.”
“Cool.” Tim said, tone flat, having expected this. Why couldn’t all his brothers be as easy to talk to as Dick? “This is important to me, Damian. I really like Bernard and I really want you all to like him and meet him too.”
“That makes no sense.” Damian said.
“Relationships normally don’t.” Tim said, “Especially ours.”
“Yours and Bernards?”
“Yes, but also mine and yours. You’re my little brother, and I want you there. Would it help if I told you Bruce was attending? He was excited about the prospect.”
Damian scoffed, the sound he made loud enough to hide the rustling in the other end of the enclosure. Damian was so distracted by Tim he didn’t notice that some of the foxes had scurried into hiding.
“I don’t care what father thinks.” Damian said, “If he wishes to indulge your familial fiction then I can’t stop him, but there’s more important things for you to do. Your dinner would be the same if I wasn’t there so no need to keep badgering me.”
Tim was getting frustrated, running his hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“For the last time, I want you there.” Tim said, slowly as if he had to explain this piece by piece. “You are my little brother. Bernard is my boyfriend. I would like you both to meet.”
“Brothers hardly and only in name.” Damian said, “I don’t see why you care so much.”
“Damian, there doesn’t have to be a reason!” Tim said, throwing his hands up and getting fed up, “I don’t want to have to explain to you what brothers are, but that’s what we are. That’s what we’ve always been. I know you know this and you’re just doing the things little brothers do where they’re annoying for no good reason other than because they can be.”
“I had a brother once.”
They both turned at the same time, attention drawn to a masked group with weapons at their side. They were staring at the two Robins who immediately jumped up. Damian drew his sword as Tim got his Bo Staff ready, staring them down.
“Once.” the masked man in the front continued. “Haven’t talked to him in years though. Family doesn’t mean shit at the end of the day. They’ll leave you in the dirt and walk over you to the other side, not giving a fuck about you.”
“You made a mistake coming here.” Damian said. He was glad for this, truth be told. His conversation with Tim agitated him and he was glad to be able to take out his aggression on something. He was stab-happy in that the stabbing he was about to do would greatly make him happy.
“So that’s a no on the feel good talk about our brothers?” the masked man asked, getting out a gun. “Shame. Guess it’s straight to business. Buster, Chops, round up the foxes. Their furs go for way too much on the market. We’ll make us a killing.”
Tim jumped into action immediately, bringing his Bo Staff down on the head guy who sidestepped away. One of the other men rounded Tim with a machete but he was able to dodge out of the way right as their leader shot at Tim, barely missing.
Damian cursed under his breath about Tim unfairly gaining an advantage by jumping in first, as well as being reckless enough to go before Damian. He thrust himself into the melee, running up to the one he had identified as Buster and bringing his sword down, only for Buster to block with another machete and kick him back.
“Stupid kid.” Buster smirked, going for Damian again.
Tim came around and pushed him back, knocking him in the head and rendering him unconscious. Damian said nothing as he rounded and kept going for the other masked men. He and Tim went into vigilante mode, blocking out all distractions except for the battle ahead of them. The men were trained better than the average thief, but were still no match for them. What they had in quantity they lacked in quality and the two Robins made quick work of them.
Within a few minutes, they were all tied up or unconscious, leaving only the Robins in the nearby vicinity. Tim was ready to celebrate except—
“The leader.” Tim mentioned, looking around and hearing a rustling in the other end of the fox enclosure.
Tim ran towards it, Damian close behind. They found him within seconds, a sight that made Damian scream. The masked leader had a gun pointed at a fox, the one that Damian had so lovingly nicknamed Heart-Ripper.
“No.” Damian said, voice small. Small enough that it was fitting for his age, but too small for a Robin with his experience. There was no way he would get to him in time. He knew this and it ate at him.
Tim had other ideas. He quickly threw a birdarang at the masked man, but not close enough to hit him. No, he threw one behind him, the man quickly turning his head as he smirked at his victory.
“Not even close.” He said, turning back and pulling the trigger.
But, there was no screech of a Fox being shot. There was no yelp or cry. There was only a grunt. He looked down at the same time as Damian, the two seeing the same sight: Tim, clutching Heartripper and protecting him. Blood leaked from his shoulder, draining out from the newly inflicted wound.
“Tim!” Damian said, his fight-or-flight that he had spent years cultivating to be calm and calculated going out the window as he went into a rampage. Running straight into the masked man before he had the chance to shoot again.
As everything went dark around Tim, the soft fur of the fox under him giving him his only warmth, he heard one last thing.
“How dare you hurt my brother!”
..........................................................................
Sterilization was a strong scent as familiar to Tim as the smell of his own sweat. He had dealt with it too many times to not know where he was as he started regaining consciousness.
The Batcave, hooked up to a medical bed.
His memory was fuzzy, hardly able to remember where he was at or what led him to this bed. He couldn’t even focus on trying to remember as he started willing the muscles in his eyelids to open up.
But what grabbed his attention the most was the warmth at his hand. He felt it immediately when he started waking up, a lighthouse drawing him back to shore from the endless sea of the unconscious. Who would possibly be holding his hand?
Bernard? But…that would mean that he knew Tim’s secret. That would mean…
As he opened his eyes, he saw. It wasn’t Bernard, but it was someone just as surprising. It was Damian, holding his hand and knocked out. He was still in his Robin outfit, head rested on his other arm at the edge of the bed. He was asleep, his body moving ever so slightly with his tiny breaths.
Tim had never seen him so calm. So clearly. He was so small, so much smaller than anyone had the right to be with all he had been through. Even through everything, through all the pain and arguments and violence, Tim was filled with love. Such love for this little boy holding his hand as he was unconscious. His little brother.
“Damian.” He said softly. He felt an ache in his shoulder and suddenly the memories started returning to him. The zoo. Heart-Ripper. The Gun.
Tim tugged his hand, squeezing Damian’s as his little brother slowly opened his eyes, looking at Tim and his smiling face. Tim saw it all. Damian’s eyes widening in surprise. His mouth opening slightly, corners turned up as his eyes looked down to their conjoined hands…only to immediately let go of Tim’s hand as if it were coated in poison, sitting back with his arms crossed, pointedly looking away.
“Too late.” Tim said, “I saw you holding my hand when I woke up. You can’t lie to me. You care.”
“Only for Heart-Ripper.” Damian got out, looking away from Tim so even his face couldn’t be seen. “Which by the way, that was quite stupid of you. You didn’t need to—”
“I wanted to.” Tim said, cutting him off. “Because you’re my brother. And he was important to you. There was no doubt we would’ve won, but I know how much you care about animals. It would’ve devastated you if something happened to Heart-Ripper.”
Damian growled, saying nothing. Tim was amused, not upset.
“I hope you’re not expecting a thank you.” Damian said, “I’m not going to be thanking you for taking a bullet for my friend. That would just give the impression that you can buy my love with taking bullets which…while not wholly off the mark, is very unhealthy. Father would be absolutely inconvenienced by your continual injuries. I’m also certain your boyfriend Bernard would be quite displeased.”
Tim just smiled, looking at Damian. He turned down to his shoulder to see the wound and saw it was already stitched up. It wasn’t too bad despite him passing out. Damian got him extricated here quickly.
“But, I’m sorry.” Damian said, “That this will put a damper on your plans for your dinner with your boyfriend. I’m sure you have to delay for your injury to be better.”
“I guess so.” Tim said, having not thought of that. “And I know you don’t wanna say thank you, but if you wanna show gratitude, maybe you can agree to go? When I eventually hold it?”
Damian was silent, slowly turning his head to Tim. His expression was less stoic, a little more cracked than Damian tended to usually give off. There was something in his eyes that was rare to most, but not Tim. He had recognized it many times before when Damian saw Bruce or his animal friends. Or his mother.
Love.
“Why is it so important to you that I attend?” Damian asked.
“I already said.” Tim replied. “Because you’re my brother and I love you. Because Bernard’s important to me, but so are you. I want you to meet each other. I don’t know what the future holds for me and Bernard, but I know what it holds for us. I can’t say with confidence that Bernard is a forever thing cause it’s too soon, but I know you are. You, Dick, Jason, and me. We’ll be together, always. I know that with all of my heart. Sure, we fight each other, but we also fight together. And we protect each other. Because we’re brothers. We have each other’s backs, even if we don’t admit it. It would mean the world for me to introduce Bernard to you guys, so he can see how proud I am of you all. To have you as my family. So he can see the people who’ve made me who I am.”
Damian sighed, shaking his head. Tim could see the slight smile on his face.
“I didn't have any effect on you.” Damian said, “The majority of your life was lived without my presence.”
“I can see why you might think that, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.” Tim started, “All three of you have affected me, and that includes you. From Dick, I learned how to be kind. How to put your heart on the line for a cause. How to fight with everything you have for what’s right. From Jason I learned how to be brave. How to keep walking when it seems impossible to take another step. To keep fighting when your body wants to give up. He taught me what it means to live instead of survive. And from you?”
Damian looked over at Tim, gaze fixed on him. Tim could see him shaking a little. Be it nerves or emotions, Tim didn’t know. “I learned the most important lesson of all. I learned how to care. How to make anyone feel worthy of affection and how to play with the hand you’re dealt. Most importantly, you taught me what it meant to be a big brother, and I couldn’t have asked for someone better to teach it to me.”
Damian opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it, closing it as he pointedly looked away from Tim and took in the bar cave surrounding them. Taking in everything that was not the two of them. Still, any denial he said would be rendered invalid by the smile on his face.
“You’re too sentimental for your own good.” Damian said, shrugging and with an aloof tonality. “Very well. I’ll go if I must. I can tell you won’t stop bothering me about it so I might as well agree. If your boyfriend finds himself with a sword through his chest or slit throat because of a wrong comment, just know it’s on you and it’ll be all your fault.”
“He’s already expecting plenty of threats from my protective brothers.” Tim said, a smile on his face. Damian’s eyes met his for a second before looking away.
They remained like that, silence settling. The beeping of Tim’s vital monitor echoed through the large cave, the two brothers the only ones there.
Tim’s eyes started feeling drowsy again, his muscles unable to heed the words of his mind and stay open. Slowly they started closing, but not before Tim felt that same warmth around his hand. With the last of his strength, he kept his eyes open for a few more seconds to see Damian grabbing his hand again.
“Tell anybody about this and I can’t guarantee that you will wake up with all of your fingers.” Damian said, his stern expression softening into a small smile. “Deal, big brother?”
As Tim closed his eyes, he let one tear escape from his eye and fall down his cheek.
“It’s a deal, little bro.”
Tim tapped his foot impatiently, waiting outside Wayne Manor next to Dick. He was wearing a sensible button-up and a nice blazer, Dick in a nice cashmere sweater next to him.
“No need to be nervous, Timmy.” Dick said, “They said they’d come, right?”
“Yeah…” exhaled Tim, “Except that—“
Tim was cut off by the sound of a revving engine. From the sunset horizon drove in Jason on his motorcycle, Damian holding on from behind him. Within seconds he pulled to a stop in front of Dick and Tim and took his helmet off as he and Damian stepped off.
“Alright we’re here.” Jason said, sounding bored but unable to suppress the smile on his face. “Let’s get this over with.”
He stepped around Tim and ruffled his hair, Tim swatting him angrily in retaliation for messing up his perfectly crafted style.
“What the fuck, do you have any idea how long that took me to do?” Tim asked as Dick laughed next to him.
“To be fair, Jason did regale me with how you were practically crying and begging on your knees for him to attend.” Damian said, “Which does match up with my own experience.”
“Okay, first of all!” Yelled Tim, “Jason cried first. And don’t make me tell everyone about how sentimental you got in the Batcave.”
“Traitor!” replied Damian.
“Our little Robin has emotions?” Joked Dick.
“I blame baby bird.” Jason added, “He comes out and suddenly infects everyone with emotions. We used to be just fine as we were, thank you.”
“Do you smell that?” asked Tim, sniffing the air, ”Smells like bullshit to me.”
“Hey do you smell that?” Jason asked, “Smells like the lack of sex you’re getting because you’re too afraid to do it with a dude.”
Tim stood shell shocked, blushing as red as a tomato, stuttering incoherently as Damian laughed. Angrily, Tim pointed an accusatory finger at Dick. “You told him?!”
“It just came out!” Dick asked, “It’s not my fault that the Gotham Tavern makes their drinks stronger than I thought! And I was just explaining how great it was that he agreed to come because it meant a lot to you and—“
“Oh my god, stop.” Tim said, covering his face, “Everyone shut the fuck up and—“
“Tim, if you want me to get you literature about homosexual sex for Christmas you just need to ask.” Joked Damian, sneering.
“I don’t want that from you or anyone.” Tim said, “You’re too young to be talking about that.”
“Don’t worry, his internet history proves he’s done enough research.” Jason said, “Damian wanna hack it?”
“Already on it.” Damian said, taking his cell phone out only to squawk when it was ripped out of his hand by Tim, who held it above Damian.
The youngest Robin bared his fangs as he jumped at Tim to get it back, only for him to hold it out of reach for him. Dick was laughing again now that the spotlight had been taken off him.
“God I love family memories.” Dick said, taking out his phone and taking pictures.
“I feel like they’re holding back.” Jason said. “Any Robin worth his salt would have gotten their phone back already.”
“I will rip your throat out with my teeth!” Damian said, trying to get his phone back. “All of you! Jason, be quiet and don’t look at this as a reflection of my abilities! Dick, stop photographing! Tim, give it back!”
“Make me!” Tim said, laughing despite everything, “In fact forget the dinner, this was a bad idea. I’m not introducing Bernard to any of you because the last thing I need is for him to break up with me because—“
“Are you all coming or not?”
The four brothers froze, their attention turned to the booming voice from the open entryway to Wayne Manor. Bruce stood there, Bernard at his side waving to Tim. Tim blushed as he lowered his hand, Damian snatching his phone back.
“As much fun as it is to have had Bernard here tell me about the shadow government of Gotham, I do believe it’s dinner time.” Bruce said with a smirk. “You boys done yet?”
“Yup.” Jason said, walking forward and ignoring Bruce in favor of closely examining Bernard. He squinted, inspecting him closely as Bernard stood unflinching. “Bernard?”
“Jason?” Bernard replied, voice calm and steady.
“Interesting,” Jason said, continuing on into the manor. “I guess Tim really does have a thing for blondes.”
Tim watched him go in as Dick went up and hugged Bruce before holding his hand out for Bernard. Bernard didn’t even hesitate in shaking his hand.
“Firm.” Dick commented. “Nice to meet you, Bernard. You and I have a lot to talk about.”
“I expect as much.” Bernard said, continuing to show nerves of steel in the face of meeting Tim’s brothers.
Damian was up next, surprisingly also ignoring Bruce in favor of going up to Bernard. Despite being a few inches shorter, Damian threw Bernard a death glare. The blonde boy resisted the urge to crack a smile, remaining stoic in the face of the younger brother's threats.
“If you do anything to Tim, it’s the last thing you’ll do.” Damian said, turning away from a smirking Bernard to hug Bruce before scurrying into the manor.
Tim shook his head as he walked up to Bernard and Bruce, kissing his boyfriend on the cheek. Bernard blushed as Tim’s father looked down at his son with a curiosity in the eye.
“What were you boys talking about?” Bruce asked.
Tim shrugged, a smile on his face as he reached down and entwined his fingers with Bernard’s.
“Just brother stuff.”
I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see.
I sought my God, but my God eluded me.
I sought my brother, and I found all three.
-William Blake