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If you had told me Six years ago that my life would end up being worse after the abuse of one J. Schlatt I would have laughed and walked away.
Eight years ago, I met, and fell in love with the man of my nightmares. I guess he gave me a sick, twisted sense of security. I was in love, he was using me.
I suppose you could blame this all on me. I was the only common factor in the deaths of all four men. Not to mention the others I destroyed on the way.
We should start this story at the beginning, shouldn’t we?
I was a kid, just fresh out of high school. Maybe 20 at the oldest. I had just moved out from a neglectful home, leaving my younger siblings. I got a scholarship to the law school of my dreams. If only I knew what it would cost me.
Enter Eret. They were my first lover in the real world. The first person I’ve ever dated other than girls who wanted me for the sex and guys who wanted to explore their sexualities.
She was great, I, however was not. The years passing made me realize how horrible i was to her. We were horribly in love. We spend every day together, and almost every night. That lasted for a year.
And then I interned at Schlattcorp. I started as a coffee boy, and that was fine for awhile. But then the CEO himself noticed me. The attention was nice, having a man so powerful value me more than his oldest employees. He promoted me to the highest position he could without my degree done.
He would treat me better than the other workers, he made me feel special in a way i never have been. He had me scheduled long hours, just to keep me around him.
I would gush about him to Eret. So it was no surprise that he saw the red flags i had missed.
Looking bad I feel horrible for how i treated Eret, and I’ve attempted to contact them to no avail. I regret hurting them, but I don’t think we would have worked out at the time. I was unprepared for a relationship. I would have hurt them either way.
Eret broke up with me four months after i started at Schlattcorp. I had come home with marks lining my neck. I should have told her I didn’t have a choice.
Schlatt called me to his personal office. The conversation started normal, but Schlatt wasn’t satisfied. He locked the door, and cornered me at his desk. All i could do was stand there. He never forced himself on me again.
He would continue to flirt with me during work hours, and I would convince myself I liked it. He was so sweet to me, so I must of liked it or he wouldn’t have done it.
That’s how the relationship would continue for months. He had started taking me on dates. I forgot about the things he had done to get me. He was almost nice. I moved in with him and we got engaged.
Then the drinking started. Perhaps he had been drinking the whole time, but he hid it from me until I’d moved in with him. I truly had no escape.
On a good night he would bring me to bed. On a bad one he would beat me. There was never a good reason, maybe i didn’t put the plates in the right place, or I forgot to do something I was never told to. He would use anything to excuse the abuse.
I never told anyone. Most people wish they did when looking back on abuse. But I don’t. If I had told someone, I wouldn’t have gotten away with what i did next.
One night I just snapped. He had smashed a bottle over my head, so I put a few pills in his drink, not expecting it to be enough to kill him. But the next morning i woke up to him next to me not breathing.
I was scared of myself, of what i had done. I fled the house with nothing besides cash from his safe and my textbooks. No one had even known we were engaged, and when they found my fingerprints in the house I told them we were fuck buddies.
Our relationship only lasted 2 years, but it felt like more.
I went back to school, and worked on finishing my degree. I lived in a cheap apartment across town. It was oddly peaceful. At times I was tempted to contact my family, but I never did.
And then came along Wilbur Soot. He was a dream compared to Schlatt, and I learned he had his own past with the man. He’s the one person I wish I could have met in better circumstances. I believe in some world, we would have worked. He could have been the one.
We met at a dumb college party. I was in a corner by myself. I was probably only there for the free drinks. Wilbur approached me and we got talking. By the end of the night we were in his room.
He treated me so sweetly. Let’s just say we kept in touch. We started as simple fuck buddies. I don’t know what changed but over time we became close friends. We told eachother everything. He taught me guitar.
But he wanted more. He knew I didn’t.
Now is the time I should mention Techno Blade. He was Wilbur’s brother. At first he hated me, but after Will’s death we reconnected. I was comforting Wilbur through an episode when Techno gave me the scar across my face. I don’t blame him anymore. I was unknowingly fueling the flames.
We lost contact after a year. I later would find out Wilbur had attempted suicide and was admitted to a hospital.
So here I was. A year after Schlatt, alone again. I reconnected with my youngest brother, Tom. He was passed into my custody after an incident with our father. I was really struggling financially at the time but I wouldn’t let Tommy down.
I didn’t really do much besides work, school, and caring for him. Then he introduced me to Dream.
Dream was a few years older than me, but he was the only true friend ive had since Wilbur. The only downside being him dating my older brother who had abandoned me to care for our siblings years prior.
He introduced me to maybe the happiest time of my life, but also the most tragic. I should have savored that more.
I met Karl Jacobs and Sapnap Halo while hanging out at Dream’s house. The two were dating, and lived with Dream. Tommy and Dream were playing mario kart or something, it wasn’t important.
The two of them walked in and spotted me sitting on my phone. They asked Dream who “the hottie sitting next to you” is. I told them my name and that I was Tom’s brother.
Things with them started slow. It was refreshing. We were friends for almost a year before they asked me out. And in that time I had fallen head over heel. Go ahead and call me easy but I was a sucker for someone who was kind to me.
I was happy for the longest time. The part I didn’t know I needed was that they never expected sex. Karl was asexual and Sapnap survived off porn anyways, so nothing was ever expected from me. We were purely romantic.
We went on dates twice a week, and moved into a two bedroom apartment together.
However Sapnap was a party animal at heart. He would often throw parties with Dream and call me drunk. I hated it but never told him. I was scared he would be mad at me. Looking back it was a stupid fear, he loved me so much he could never be mad over that.
Karl had begun to struggle with memory problems. The doctors said he couldn’t drive or drink anymore. It didn’t matter how many times we had to remind him who we were, he was still ours.
They even loved Tommy as if he was their kid. It was the best part, they cared about him as much as I did.
I loved them so much, but I knew it couldn't last. I had too much trauma to truly give someone my full love and trust again.
Schlatt had successfully broken me, I could never love again. And even after all these years I wonder if that’s what he wanted.
Two years after I met them everything feel apart. It was a week after our anniversary. We went out for drinks. Tommy was at a sleepover with his friend Tubbo. I shouldn’t have gone I know, alcohol still freaked me out. But Sapnap had asked so sweetly. We completely forgot about Karl not being allowed to drink. And I hate myself for it even today.
After a few hours of drinking Sapnap had started yelling about something. It scared me so I told him to stop. It started a big fight between us. He decided to take Karl home.
I took a bus home an hour later only to find no one there. I assumed they went to Dream’s for the night to cool off.
I got the call at 4am. Sapnap crashed the car. He hit a doctor named Ponk Awe, who I later learned was intimate with my father.
Sapnap didn’t make it. I should have driven them home. If I hadn’t been so upset for no reason I would be happily married to two of the most amazing people I’ve ever met.
Karl was in the hospital. He had slipped into a coma for unknown reasons. The crash had barely hurt him, only broken a few bones.
I was alone. I hate who the loneliness turned me into. I stopped taking care of Tommy, and he was sent into foster care. I never saw him again before his funeral, but I heard things.
Karl woke up five months later. He had suffered brain damage from drinking. He barely remembered a thing past his childhood. What hurt the most was that he remembered Sapnap’s name but not my own.
He went into critical condition on the day of our 2nd anniversary. He died only a few days after. I wish I had more time with the two of them, but when have I ever gotten what I wanted?
I didn’t go to either of the funerals. I went into a depressive episode. I drank daily. I was becoming the monster who made me this way. Eventually I checked myself into rehab.
A little under two years ago I once again met Wilbur Soot. We were reunited in rehab, me recovering from drinking, him from smoking.
We were eachothers comfort. He helped me with the loss of my fiances, and I helped him with his depression.
We survived rehab and moved into a house with Techno. He quickly became my bestfriend outside of Wilbur.
I learned that Will had befriended Tommy. His dad fostered him for awhile and Wilbur kept in contact. He never found out Tommy was my brother.
Will and I reconnected quickly. We realised we still had feelings for eachother. We dated for a year before things got bad again.
We found out Tommy had died. He was found shot in an alleyway. They think he was robbed and killed seeing as his wallet was missing. His funeral was the first funeral I had attended since this shit started.
In another life he would still be in my care and this never would have happened.
Wilbur’s depression got worse after the loss of Tommy. I felt helpless. Things just escalated until one day Wilbur told me he was going out for a walk. My gut told me to follow him, so I did because I’ve survived off following my gut instinct for so long.
He went into the subway, and I followed.
I watched him walk closer to the yellow caution line. I screamed his name. I think I went to pull him away.
He kissed me one last time before shoving me behind the line as the train came.
I vowed that the funeral of Wilbur Soot would be the last I ever attend.
You wanted the full story leading up to now? Well, there it is. I didn’t have some big moment of pain. I just got tired. Of everyone around me dying. Of ruining the lives of everyone I touched.